Strippers

polaris_x

pjhawks wrote:

I think the OP is talking more about having strippers in a private hotel room as opposed to a club. Clearly strippers in a hotel room there is a far greater chance of illicit activities. it does seem this have become a more common occurrence in the last decade or so. most of my bachelor party and strip club experience was before that though so can't say I have any experience with strippers in a hotel room. personally I think it's just a bad idea and can totally see how women wouldn't be ok with it. in fact in my experiences most of the grooms-to-be were more embarrassed to be at the strip clubs for the bachelor party and were mostly lead there by their friends .i've never been or really hung out with 'strip bar' kind of guys so maybe my thoughts are a bit skewed.

it doesn't really make a difference ... it still boils down to trust ... if a relationship is going to last ... there has to be a trust and understanding ... if partners want to remain monogamous and the intent of what that means is understood ... it makes it pretty easy ...

chadwick

dimitrispearljam wrote:

mca47 wrote:

Seems more of a trust issue than a stripper issue.

yeah..and strippers,we must not forget that,they dont want to cheat with someone boyfriend
its their job and take money for that..they are proffecionals get paid for create this erotic situation

um.... check wrong


some are very far from professionals, dimitris

a meth & coke snorting alcoholic is far from a professional yet there are thousands of them right this second rubbing themselves on some guy for cash

shortstack

dr0ptheleash wrote:

She's not a real girl, she's a stripper!

how infuriating! :-x

women are human beings, not objects.

dimitrispearljam

chadwick wrote:

dimitrispearljam wrote:

mca47 wrote:

Seems more of a trust issue than a stripper issue.

yeah..and strippers,we must not forget that,they dont want to cheat with someone boyfriend
its their job and take money for that..they are proffecionals get paid for create this erotic situation

um.... check wrong


some are very far from professionals, dimitris

a meth & coke snorting alcoholic is far from a professional yet there are thousands of them right this second rubbing themselves on some guy for cash

yeah,sure..i m just saying,they doing for money..isnt stripper issue,but trust the boyfriend of not..the whole topic

shortstack

dimitrispearljam wrote:

dimitrispearljam wrote:

mca47 wrote:

Seems more of a trust issue than a stripper issue.

yeah..and strippers,we must not forget that,they dont want to cheat with someone boyfriend
its their job and take money for that..they are proffecionals get paid for create this erotic situation

yeah,sure..i m just saying,they doing for money..isnt stripper issue,but trust the boyfriend of not..the whole topic

it should not be a trust issue but an issue of not wanting the man you love to be a misogynist.

F Me In The Brain

Seriously on the subject I have been to many bachelor parties and have seen that strippers were a much more common experience with my younger friends getting married. Now that we are older they usually are not part of the deal. I am sure there is some larger explanation here on guys of their 20s turning into guys of their 30s but I will save that for someone else.
During the more wild parties from the 20s (many 10+ years ago) we did have some private dancers. I think it boils down to the guy. If he is likely to step out of line he is going to do it regardless -- if there is not a private dancer he will find some other way -- or worse, will do it after he gets married. (I suspect the guy who cheats right before he gets married will cheat after as well but that is a guess.)

My bachelor party was 6 years ago and I told the guys no strippers. I love the body of a woman and I certainly enjoy seeing naked women but the idea of celebrating my pending marriage by having my buddies pile $20 bills on top of me didn't seem like the right thing to do. My wife wasn't concerned at all about the likelihood of strippers being there (or not) and that was cool. I didn't care if she had them either as I trust her and if it is fun for her she could help herself. If I didn't trust her it would be a different story!
(Ironically, my brother's finance cheated on him while he was away attending my bachelor party. A blessing in disguise, he didn't make that mistake of marrying a cheater!)

Going to a bachelor party in Cabo next week. We are going fishing and drinking/partying. No stripper plans.
Another in Vegas in September and I dont know what that will be but I know the groom well enough to know he will not being getting any favors from the ladies if so.

dimitrispearljam

shortstack wrote:

it should not be a trust issue but an issue of not wanting the man you love to be a misogynist.

is what i understand from Laura's opening post..has to do with trust
i didnt get this you saying from her post

Cliffy6745

Yeah, I am with the consensus.

CServant

Vedd Hedd wrote:

IMO, stripping isn't usually degrading to women. It's degrading to men. As a guy who has been to a few strip clubs in my time, believe me......its degrading to men, not women. Women hold all the power in there. Men walk in with fistfuls of cash, or their ATM card (with massive service charges, btw) and women bilk them out of their money. Although some places are seedy, most don't allow sex, so its not like its a sex shop. Guys go in, the grils flirt with them, and the guys drop their money for an unspoken promise that never happens.

If you sit and watch the girl pick-up her dollar bills at the end of her set, it is rather degrading for them. They usually are covering with one hand and shoving dollar bills into their small purse while trying to get out of the way for the next 'act.'

dr0ptheleash

hedonist wrote:

DeLukin wrote:

I personally feel that respect and love are inseparable. If the person I love is uncomfortable with me doing something to the point of it negatively affecting our relationship, it's my obligations to change my behavior out of respect for her. So it's not so much about trust, but if I willingly know that she feels that something I'm doing is harmful to our relationship and I keep doing it she should have every reason in the world to think I don't respect her.

You sound like a good guy Me, I'd add "within reason".

As pjhawks mentioned, seems this is more about the private-room strippers vs those in a club. I'm sorry, but watching porn is NOT tantamount to being genitally-grinded, even if through clothes. That's a lot more intimate than sitting back and looking, whether what you're looking at is on film, computer, paper, etc. - even in person.

This is what I'm talking about. I don't find porn and rated R movies offensive. I also don't consider it cheating to go to a strip club and watch naked women. I consider it cheating when the touching comes in, and it seems to many men that it is not considered cheating to them, strictly because she's a "professional."

The comment about her not being a real person was sarcastic, a knock to how many men see these women.

g under p

dr0ptheleash wrote:

I feel like talking about strippers.

Why do (most, not all) men feel that whatever they do with a stripper isn't considered cheating? Who made the rule that when the naked female holds the title of "stripper," it's fine to do whatever you want? I think thats a bunch of bullshit. I don't have much against the girls that do it, although yes, I am pretty sure it's got to be degrading, but I think it's pretty pathetic that guys with wives/girlfriends/SO's pay for this shit. Why is this aspect considered a ritual when it comes to bachelor parties? You're getting married, so you have to screw around first? But it's ok. She's not a real girl, she's a stripper!

Things have changed in the past decade or so. It's not just "stripping" anymore. Now you can pretty much get whatever you want, as long as there's cash involved. I'm dealing with a situation with private strippers, 4 of them, in a room with no bouncers. Is it out of line to be concerned/unhappy about this kind of thing? Don't get me wrong; I'm no bride-to-be or anything like that, but I feel like I'd be damn pissed off if I was. I'm thinking there's a pretty big difference in going to a club with your buddies, and having 4 of them accompany to your room with no supervision. Why is it ok if she's 'just a stripper?' What makes that ok?

Well I've never been to a strip club or ever met a stripper.....is that unusual these days?

Peace

dimitrispearljam

dr0ptheleash wrote:

This is what I'm talking about. I don't find porn and rated R movies offensive. I also don't consider it cheating to go to a strip club and watch naked women. I consider it cheating when the touching comes in, and it seems to many men that it is not considered cheating to them, strictly because she's a "professional."

The comment about her not being a real person was sarcastic, a knock to how many men see these women.

ok,i think i got it...
so girl,question..whast the difference for you,its ok a man pays for a girl show him her tits,but its not ok to pay for touch her tits?the second is cheating..?
try to undertand the thoughts here..

comebackgirl

DeLukin wrote:

I personally feel that respect and love are inseparable. If the person I love is uncomfortable with me doing something to the point of it negatively affecting our relationship, it's my obligations to change my behavior out of respect for her. So it's not so much about trust, but if I willingly know that she feels that something I'm doing is harmful to our relationship and I keep doing it she should have every reason in the world to think I don't respect her.

Very well said.



It's up for the couple to decide what's ok/not ok within their relationship. If one partner isn't comfortable with certain behavior, then it's not ok for the relationship. The other partner may not agree and so they are then in the position of deciding whether they want to honor their partner's feelings or not. That is what sets the tone for the whole rest of the relationship and will get played out in a variety of ways around a variety of issues. There's no one formula that is going to work for every relationship, so I don't think we can tear it down and decide that looking is ok, touching is not, etc.


It's absolutely ok for you to not be comfortable with this. You don't have to justify it to anyone. It doesn't feel comfortable to you, so honor that feeling even if your partner doesn't.

shortstack

dr0ptheleash wrote:

The comment about her not being a real person was sarcastic, a knock to how many men see these women.

yep, i got what you were saying. the men who see women in that way are infuriating (to me, anyway).

comebackgirl wrote:

It's absolutely ok for you to not be comfortable with this. You don't have to justify it to anyone. It doesn't feel comfortable to you, so honor that feeling even if your partner doesn't.

agreed.

rustneversleeps

chadwick.....f#ckin hilarious.

CAVSTARR313

Well my wife says "build an appetite outside, but eat at home"

I never really enjoyed strip clubs. When I was younger and single, I never really had a problem getting girls.. strip clubs just seemed like a waste of money to me.. now that I am married, I still see no need for them. My wife takes good care of me. If I had to go to one for a bachelor party, I highly doubt she would care. She trusts me and iwouldnt do anything to disrespect her. She would probably be more concerned with me washing up afterwards because those places are dirty.. I dont think the act of going and looking is cheating at all.. getting a tug in the backroom would be..

dr0ptheleash

comebackgirl wrote:

DeLukin wrote:

I personally feel that respect and love are inseparable. If the person I love is uncomfortable with me doing something to the point of it negatively affecting our relationship, it's my obligations to change my behavior out of respect for her. So it's not so much about trust, but if I willingly know that she feels that something I'm doing is harmful to our relationship and I keep doing it she should have every reason in the world to think I don't respect her.

Very well said.



It's up for the couple to decide what's ok/not ok within their relationship. If one partner isn't comfortable with certain behavior, then it's not ok for the relationship. The other partner may not agree and so they are then in the position of deciding whether they want to honor their partner's feelings or not. That is what sets the tone for the whole rest of the relationship and will get played out in a variety of ways around a variety of issues. There's no one formula that is going to work for every relationship, so I don't think we can tear it down and decide that looking is ok, touching is not, etc.


It's absolutely ok for you to not be comfortable with this. You don't have to justify it to anyone. It doesn't feel comfortable to you, so honor that feeling even if your partner doesn't.

I agree completely with both of these responses. The whole mindset that "they're not even like humans so it's ok to do whatever you want with them" is what makes me mad about this. Or the attitude that it's just a joke to do whatever you want. I think viewing is one thing; it's the actual physical contact that makes it another.

Mamasan23

comebackgirl wrote:

It's up for the couple to decide what's ok/not ok within their relationship. If one partner isn't comfortable with certain behavior, then it's not ok for the relationship. The other partner may not agree and so they are then in the position of deciding whether they want to honor their partner's feelings or not. That is what sets the tone for the whole rest of the relationship and will get played out in a variety of ways around a variety of issues. There's no one formula that is going to work for every relationship, so I don't think we can tear it down and decide that looking is ok, touching is not, etc.

It's absolutely ok for you to not be comfortable with this. You don't have to justify it to anyone. It doesn't feel comfortable to you, so honor that feeling even if your partner doesn't.

Great response! I couldn't agree more. Everyone has their own feelings about this, so it is up to the couple to decide together. And your feelings are valid. You're not comfortable with it, and that's that. Don't feel bad for expressing your feelings.

CAVSTARR313

On a side note.. I have heard that you can get a really great steak at the joint near our house.. for a great price, too!

This is why the place has secretly become known as "Steak n' Shake"

get some steak, get some shake.. A few guys I know go to "Steak n' Shake" often for lunch..

I personally could NEVER eat at a strip club.. just seems horrible!

Mamasan23

Caveeze wrote:

On a side note.. I have heard that you can get a really great steak at the joint near our house.. for a great price, too!

This is why the place has secretly become known as "Steak n' Shake"

get some steak, get some shake.. A few guys I know go to "Steak n' Shake" often for lunch..

I personally could NEVER eat at a strip club.. just seems horrible!

"Sir, what'll you have?"

"The pink tacos"

:fp: