Do I take wife to Wrigley PJ show?

PJinIL

ofthegirl99 wrote:

Get_Right wrote:

ofthegirl99 wrote:

If my wife mentioned to me that she had more fun when I was not around and I was bringing her down by being included in something she loved I'd certainly think something else was wrong with our marriage. Thats some shit boyfriend/girlfriend talk when one of them is still keeping the door open in case something better comes along. If you can't let your freak flag fly with your spouse than perhaps your spouse doesn't know you on all levels.

absence makes the heart grow fonder.....
boys night out is all, which every man needs to stay sane IMHO

Boys/Girls nights out are certainly necessary. To be concerned you wont have fun because your wife/husband is along with you is a problem.

So, say your wife wanted to include you in a pedicure. You go because you want to be interested in what she is interested in. You have a good time. BUT, perhaps you don't provide her the same experience as a girlfriend would, doing the girly spa thing. (maybe you do, but this is purely hypothetical). Would you be hurt that she wanted to take her friend or someone who really gets into pedicures? Or would you see that some activities are better suited to individual spouses maximizing an experience every now and again?

I love my wife. We have a great marriage and wonderful kids. I took her to a couple of Eddie shows, but went to a couple by myself too. There's no one else I'd rather go to an Eddie show with than her, but she listens to Uke/Into the Wild, and gets into it. The full-on Pearl Jam show is a different animal. Agreed? I would have fun with her, I can let my freak flag fly around her. But when {pick your fav. hidden gem here} starts, I want to turn to the person next to me and have that "YEAH!" moment and have it understood, not spend the intro of the song explaining that this song is rarely played, or whatever.

Let's go back to the nail salon now....she gets a new color, with really awesome sparkles. YAY! Excitedly proclaiming, "honey, isn't this the coolest nail polish EVER?!" And you try to be enthusiastic and share that moment. But you know that she knows that her girlfriend would probably be better suited to get all gitty. And that fun moment is just a little less fun with you than with her girlfriend. Right? Now imagine a 2.5 hours of being excited about every nail color.

I'm surprised at the number of people weighing in. I thought maybe 3 or 4 would chime in. I don't believe it is any indicator of an unhealthy relationship if spouses/sig others want to have their own thing sometimes. And the point of the thread wasn't to debate the health of my marriage or figure out if I should lie to her. It was to see if anyone else had thoughts on how to bring about the discussion or if anyone had similar experiences. Maybe that didn't get conveyed too well in the OP, but it has been interesting to read the posts....

Hail hail the lucky ones, I refer to those in love, yeah.

See y'all in Chicago, guest tbd.

100 Pacer

PJinIL wrote:

I'm surprised at the number of people weighing in. I thought maybe 3 or 4 would chime in. I don't believe it is any indicator of an unhealthy relationship if spouses/sig others want to have their own thing sometimes. And the point of the thread wasn't to debate the health of my marriage or figure out if I should lie to her. It was to see if anyone else had thoughts on how to bring about the discussion or if anyone had similar experiences. Maybe that didn't get conveyed too well in the OP, but it has been interesting to read the posts....

I can tell you my wife absolutely does not care for the band at all. I can also tell you that my wife & I are in a very rewarding & meaningful marriage, and she supports my passion for the band and for traveling to see them. Having said that, we share numerous other passions & interests together and enjoy doing so on a regular basis.

Stone Is God

My wife and I went to 6 shows together........and our divorce will be final in 13 days.

I'm driving out to the London show with a friend of mine. I'm guessing I'll have a much better time

SEACIDE

darwinstheory wrote:

If you're like me, and prefer sex over a concert, you will keep your mouth shut and take her. It is just not worth the risk.

Yep....

PJinIL

Stone Is God wrote:

My wife and I went to 6 shows together........and our divorce will be final in 13 days.

I'm driving out to the London show with a friend of mine. I'm guessing I'll have a much better time

Congrats? :?

Enjoy the show!

elvistheking44

So, say your wife wanted to include you in a pedicure. You go because you want to be interested in what she is interested in. You have a good time. BUT, perhaps you don't provide her the same experience as a girlfriend would, doing the girly spa thing. (maybe you do, but this is purely hypothetical). Would you be hurt that she wanted to take her friend or someone who really gets into pedicures? Or would you see that some activities are better suited to individual spouses maximizing an experience every now and again?

I love my wife. We have a great marriage and wonderful kids. I took her to a couple of Eddie shows, but went to a couple by myself too. There's no one else I'd rather go to an Eddie show with than her, but she listens to Uke/Into the Wild, and gets into it. The full-on Pearl Jam show is a different animal. Agreed? I would have fun with her, I can let my freak flag fly around her. But when {pick your fav. hidden gem here} starts, I want to turn to the person next to me and have that "YEAH!" moment and have it understood, not spend the intro of the song explaining that this song is rarely played, or whatever.

Let's go back to the nail salon now....she gets a new color, with really awesome sparkles. YAY! Excitedly proclaiming, "honey, isn't this the coolest nail polish EVER?!" And you try to be enthusiastic and share that moment. But you know that she knows that her girlfriend would probably be better suited to get all gitty. And that fun moment is just a little less fun with you than with her girlfriend. Right? Now imagine a 2.5 hours of being excited about every nail color.

I'm surprised at the number of people weighing in. I thought maybe 3 or 4 would chime in. I don't believe it is any indicator of an unhealthy relationship if spouses/sig others want to have their own thing sometimes. And the point of the thread wasn't to debate the health of my marriage or figure out if I should lie to her. It was to see if anyone else had thoughts on how to bring about the discussion or if anyone had similar experiences. Maybe that didn't get conveyed too well in the OP, but it has been interesting to read the posts....

Hail hail the lucky ones, I refer to those in love, yeah.

See y'all in Chicago, guest tbd.[/quote]

OK. You make some good points. Perhaps my concert going experience is not the same as yours or the others in this thread. I love live shows, PJ and anyone else. But I love live shows for two reasons. One being the fact its live music of course and two being the fact its a night out with my wife. I don't need to stay planted in my seat the whole night and watch the boys play every note without blinking. Half the fun for me is walking around, getting a beer or two, doing a little people watching and what not. If PJ is rockin out and we are both into it laughing, dancing and singing together that rocks. If they play Sweet Lew or Strangest Tribe and I look at my wife and she's looks at me like WTF I'll suggest we get a beer and wander a bit. I can still hear the song as I walk around and it helps my wife that I'm not just at a show, Im at a show to spend time with her and listen to some tunes. Perhaps I'm not as hardcore as others about my concert going experience.

Free

ofthegirl99 wrote:

If my wife mentioned to me that she had more fun when I was not around and I was bringing her down by being included in something she loved I'd certainly think something else was wrong with our marriage. Thats some shit boyfriend/girlfriend talk when one of them is still keeping the door open in case something better comes along. If you can't let your freak flag fly with your spouse than perhaps your spouse doesn't know you on all levels.

ofthegirl99 wrote:

Boys/Girls nights out are certainly necessary. To be concerned you wont have fun because your wife/husband is along with you is a problem.

Exactly what I'm thinking. I have a friend who was great fun to hang out with unless his wife was with us. He acted all different and on guard. Can you guess what happened to their marriage? Now he is with a great person that he doesn't act all stifled with and we all know it's a better fit.

Free

My point is that IF your wife wants to go, why would you say no? If you can fly your freak flag around her (and you should be able to) it shouldn't be an issue. If you can't, then there's something else probably going on. If she has no interest in seeing PJ, then yes, it was meant to be that this is your interest and something you can enjoy on your own.

Free

PJinIL wrote:

So, say your wife wanted to include you in a pedicure. You go because you want to be interested in what she is interested in. You have a good time. BUT, perhaps you don't provide her the same experience as a girlfriend would, doing the girly spa thing. (maybe you do, but this is purely hypothetical). Would you be hurt that she wanted to take her friend or someone who really gets into pedicures? Or would you see that some activities are better suited to individual spouses maximizing an experience every now and again?

I love my wife. We have a great marriage and wonderful kids. I took her to a couple of Eddie shows, but went to a couple by myself too. There's no one else I'd rather go to an Eddie show with than her, but she listens to Uke/Into the Wild, and gets into it. The full-on Pearl Jam show is a different animal. Agreed? I would have fun with her, I can let my freak flag fly around her. But when {pick your fav. hidden gem here} starts, I want to turn to the person next to me and have that "YEAH!" moment and have it understood, not spend the intro of the song explaining that this song is rarely played, or whatever.

Let's go back to the nail salon now....she gets a new color, with really awesome sparkles. YAY! Excitedly proclaiming, "honey, isn't this the coolest nail polish EVER?!" And you try to be enthusiastic and share that moment. But you know that she knows that her girlfriend would probably be better suited to get all gitty. And that fun moment is just a little less fun with you than with her girlfriend. Right? Now imagine a 2.5 hours of being excited about every nail color.

I'm surprised at the number of people weighing in. I thought maybe 3 or 4 would chime in. I don't believe it is any indicator of an unhealthy relationship if spouses/sig others want to have their own thing sometimes. And the point of the thread wasn't to debate the health of my marriage or figure out if I should lie to her. It was to see if anyone else had thoughts on how to bring about the discussion or if anyone had similar experiences. Maybe that didn't get conveyed too well in the OP, but it has been interesting to read the posts....

Hail hail the lucky ones, I refer to those in love, yeah.

See y'all in Chicago, guest tbd.

To the bolded part, I've been to enough shows to know that so many fans know the obsure songs that you can turn to a total stranger and bond with them in an instant. You know that too, I bet. So if your wife doesn't know the song, turn to another fellow fan to connect. We're all there. You can explain it to her when you get a chance, but don't feel as if it's a total downer if she's only a casual fan.

Suziemay

I find it very interesting that there are strong opinions for/against bringing your spouse and then people opining on the health of the relationship/marriage.

I think I've lived enough years to realize that every relationship is different and ranges the full spectrum of wanting to spend every waking moment together to needing space. I fall very much in the latter but also know people who want to share everything with their significant other or people that they love. Can't really say what's "better" but I know what's better for me. It's not a reflection of the other person that some things I prefer to do alone and other things with other people, and those other people may not always be my SO.

Free

People may be misunderstanding me. If it is a one-sided interest, then perhaps keep it that way. If spouses have no interest in going to a show, then dragging them there isn't a great idea. I've seen plenty of wives in the front few rows, no less, looking absolutely bored to death. :shock:

But if a spouse does have an interest, does want to go, then it just seems a bit heartless to say no. That's all.

PJ_Soul

This is really strange - I don't understand why you wouldn't feel like you can just completely be yourself, PJ nerding out and all, in front of your wife. That suggests that is something more wrong than just her not understanding why you're freaking out because PJ is playing "Black, Red, Yellow". Because if you were actually your true self with her, it wouldn't matter to either of you. I'm not saying people should do everything with their spouses - not at all. It's the fact that you think you can't really enjoy something precisely because she is there. That's a problem.

That said, don't tell her you'd rather go alone than with her. That will just hurt her. It's not like she doesn't like concerts. She does. If you seriously don't want to enjoy something awesome with your wife, then think of some other excuse as to why she can't come with you. In this case, honesty is not the best thing assuming you actually want her to keep believing you really love her. Don't you have a friend who is a big fan or something?? It would seem a lot less hurtful if you simply wanted to go with someone else who really digs the band more than she does, or even just as someone with whom you can get some "guy time".

And really, if you find your wife that much of a drag, maybe you have some shit to ponder.

PillowPants

PJinIL wrote:

But when {pick your fav. hidden gem here} starts, I want to turn to the person next to me and have that "YEAH!" moment and have it understood, not spend the intro of the song explaining that this song is rarely played, or whatever.

WOW

the nerd herd has reached a new low


i love this place

PillowPants

PJ_Soul wrote:

This is really strange - I don't understand why you wouldn't feel like you can just completely be yourself, PJ nerding out and all, in front of your wife. That suggests that is something more wrong than just her not understanding why you're freaking out because PJ is playing "Black, Red, Yellow". Because if you were actually your true self with her, it wouldn't matter to either of you. I'm not saying people should do everything with their spouses - not at all. It's the fact that you think you can't really enjoy something precisely because she is there. That's a problem..

i believe he said he can let his freak flag show... he just doesn't want to explain the significance DURING black red and yellow


it's like going to a ball game with someone and having them ask you the rules as it goes down to the last 10 seconds of triple overtime

Cheo Ramirez

I made a clever decision bringing my wife to Alpine 2011.

She was so tired, wet, drunk and happy (she heard her favorite song, Smile) that the day after the gigs she told me that i got a free pass for going by myself for any PJ Show in the future

Evel K

Enough with the small talk. Where would this potential extra seat be located? It seems like a few possible extras are in this thread. Head over to Lost Dogs and hook somebody up. No Wrigley ticket is weighing on our brains. I'm a white male with a girlfriend looking for two tickets. If I can only get one she'll understand. PM anytime anywhere in the building.

PJ_Soul

PillowPants wrote:

PJ_Soul wrote:

This is really strange - I don't understand why you wouldn't feel like you can just completely be yourself, PJ nerding out and all, in front of your wife. That suggests that is something more wrong than just her not understanding why you're freaking out because PJ is playing "Black, Red, Yellow". Because if you were actually your true self with her, it wouldn't matter to either of you. I'm not saying people should do everything with their spouses - not at all. It's the fact that you think you can't really enjoy something precisely because she is there. That's a problem..

i believe he said he can let his freak flag show... he just doesn't want to explain the significance DURING black red and yellow


it's like going to a ball game with someone and having them ask you the rules as it goes down to the last 10 seconds of triple overtime

Oh, well, my bad. In that case, OP, just tell your wife that she can come, but that she has to just shut up and enjoy the show. (Does she really expect a play by play of a concert?? I have never heard of this before. I've been to many a show with someone who has never heard the band before (and your wife knows PJ), but they certainly did not expect me to explain the meaning of the lyrics or the song origins and shit during a song that I was clearly happy to hear. That would be absolutely bizarre.... do you think maybe your assumption of what she'll be wanting from you is unfounded and kind of paranoid??).

slobberdog68

Empty Glass wrote:

Here's how it went down at my place...

Me: PJ is playing Wrigley. If I win this lottery, I'm going to spend a few days in Chicago in July

Wife: ok, but that may get expensive

Me: it may, but I'll control my self

Wife: Flights for 4 us WILL be expensive

Me: 4 of us? I'm going. You guys are staying home

yosi

When I told my wife PJ was probably going to play the East Coast in the fall her only response was "I don't have to go with you, right?"

Lucky for me my brother is my concert buddy and he couldn't be more stoked!

Like others have said though, if this is something she's looking forward to, I wouldn't say anything. Hopefully your wife is cool enough that you can just go crazy at the concert.

jumbojet

ofthegirl99 wrote:

One being the fact its live music of course and two being the fact its a night out with my wife.

Is it really me or is it something ordinary to be a male and have a forum name 'ofthe girl' ?

Dont mean to offend. For info purposes only...