Do I take wife to Wrigley PJ show?

Get_Right

No wives.
PJ concerts are my oasis amid an otherwise completely satisfying and stressful life.

JOEJOEJOE

PJinIL wrote:

I feel horrible in some respect, but the concerts that I've been to by myself have been better experiences than when I go with someone, wife included. She does like PJ and we've been to a handful of shows together, but how do I tell her I'd rather sell my 2nd ticket and let it all hang out than wonder why she isn't getting exactly why it's so cool they played XYZ song or whatever. I know, honesty is best, but how best to frame it so it doesn't sound like I don't want to share this special thing with her. Can't I just share the pics and memories? :?

no matter how well you think you can frame it, DON"T DO IT!

Leezestarr313

Be honest with her and have something ready to make it even, like somebody else said - let her do something she likes as much as you like PJ shows on your own.



No spouses? :nono: I'm going with my hubs and we will have a fucking blast

81

Leezestarr313 wrote:

Be honest with her and have something ready to make it even, like somebody else said - let her do something she likes as much as you like PJ shows on your own.



No spouses? :nono: I'm going with my hubs and we will have a fucking blast

i knew one of you married pj couples would show up......i should have *'ed it

Hoosiers

I'm the guy who just lost his wife, but I know what you're feeling. She liked PJ but not like me. I always enjoyed the shows where I went with my guy friends better than the few we went to.

However, some of my fondest memories of my wife are the times we went to concerts together. PJ in Nashville 03, PJ in Cleveland 06, Springsteen in Louisville last November. Not just the concert, but spending the day in the city and in a hotel at night getting wasted with friends/family. And we planned an even longer stay in Chicago with friends and family.

Take her, man. It may not seem to mean as much to her...but spending time with your wife at something you'll never forget and building memories you'll never forget until you die is invaluable.

It's cliche, but I would do anything to have her with me again this time.

josevolution

Get_Right wrote:

No wives.
PJ concerts are my oasis amid an otherwise completely satisfying and stressful life.

Yes plus this way i can allways turn someone else on to the seats

ldent42

If you are travelling to Chicago for the show find a spa or salon or something specific she is into somewhere near your hotel or something and suggest she take a 'me' day on show day while you go to the show and sell the extra ticket. that way you can still spend the weekend in chicago together. I would also suggest comparing rabid show-deprived PJ fans to tweakers, who are more than likely going to be berzerk for this particular performance, ASK if she really wants to deal with that? Especially since you are going to be acting the same way. This might be especially helpful if you have GA tickets. Express concern for her safety.

If you are NOT travelling then you are probably shit out of luck cuz no matter how you phrase it it's still you getting a day out to do fun shit without her.

toridanioth

Every marriage is different.
I decided to sit with my sister because she has better seats!
my husband will be with her boyfriend up in the stands.

Empty Glass

Here's how it went down at my place...

Me: PJ is playing Wrigley. If I win this lottery, I'm going to spend a few days in Chicago in July

Wife: ok, but that may get expensive

Me: it may, but I'll control my self

Wife: Flights for 4 us WILL be expensive

Me: 4 of us? I'm going. You guys are staying home

Suziemay

If you've already invited her and she was all over it, then I think it's an asshole move to disinvite her.

If you haven't and are now trying to decide, well, I will defer to the married people on the board to opine on the spouse-specific issues Me personally, my 10c ticket will never go to anyone other than a hardcore fan. Okay, never say never but maybe if I had tickets to multiple shows for one tour, I might offer one up to a family member that I like spending time with who genuinely understands how much the band and the whole experience means to me. Which is like one person in my family. Some of my closest friends don't even ask me if they can come with me, they know better.

shetellsherself

I still say talk to her straight. It's good to have separate interests in a relationship as well as those you both enjoy. It's healthy to have something just for you. Maybe she doesn't really want to go. Just make sure you are sure that she understands that it is not her you are trying to ditch. I have my own Wrigley/marital relationship issue that I won't bore you with but I can tell you from very recent experience, sitting down and having a heart to heart about these matters can result in revelations that you did not expect and can only lead to growth and hopefully to you having a great time at Wrigley. If she really wants to go that's another story though.

Mamasan23

Nope. I had a conversation about this with someone at PJ20 (I won't say who in case his wife checks this board ), but we both agreed that PJ shows are much better with spouses/sig others at home.* It's not just the music, but it's the entire package, the people, the atmosphere, etc. All of that is 'our' thing. And we get to enjoy it together and take a break from reality for a bit. You've already met a bunch of us at the RNDM show so you have friends that will be at Wrigley. Bringing your wife would mean you making sure that she's having a good time instead of enjoying yourself. Yeah it sounds selfish but sometimes you have to be!

*Of course exempt from this are the lucky ones like Cav & Leeze and cbg & zoso

bat2797

I like going to shows alone too. It just makes em better in my experience. I've taken my wife to one show on the nite I proposed to her. Of course it was special and everything but I felt subdued and couldn't reAlly enjoy the show the way I usually do. A show like wrigley I would go alone. Just my opinion and I also don't think I'd ever tell her the real reason. :fp: it just me. Fortunately I have a very understanding pearl jam widow at home. And don't get me wrong, we enjoy other shows together but pj is mine :P

iisee

F Me In The Brain wrote:

bringing my wife -- I need to have someone to make sure I get back to the hotel after the post concert partying.

This...plus my wife braved a week and 2 PJ shows in Amsterdam last summer..She's fierce!

green_girl

PJinIL wrote:

I feel horrible in some respect, but the concerts that I've been to by myself have been better experiences than when I go with someone, wife included. She does like PJ and we've been to a handful of shows together, but how do I tell her I'd rather sell my 2nd ticket and let it all hang out than wonder why she isn't getting exactly why it's so cool they played XYZ song or whatever. I know, honesty is best, but how best to frame it so it doesn't sound like I don't want to share this special thing with her. Can't I just share the pics and memories? :?

You probably shouldn't take advice from any of us regarding something as important as your marriage, including me. But here's my point of view:
It seems like your concern about your wife not going crazy over Immortality or whatever is your issue, not hers. Don't worry about whether she's having the ultimate time and enjoy yourself to the fullest.

Unless she's one of those people who likes to leave during the 2nd encore to beat the traffic. Eff that. :nono:

Also, I agree with others that she may prefer a spa day to PJ. Feel her out or just ask her directly.

bazzer

verceman wrote:

Think long and hard before even bringing this up to your wife.

If you really want to test these waters, I would ask her, enthusiastically - "Are you stoked for Pearl Jam at Wrigley??!!" If she gives a lukewarm response, a couple days later then bring up the idea - "hey we can get a lot of money for the extra ticket if you don't want to go - we can use the money to go out to dinner another time. But if she is looking forward to the show I wouldn't even bring this up to her at all.

It is going to hurt her feelings and then she'll tell you to just go by yourself if you don't want her there. And you'll get the cold shoulder for months. Then you will have the worst of all situations. You will go to Wrigley, by yourself, exactly like you suggested, but not enjoy it because your wife is at home, stewing with a cold shoulder.

That's awesome your wife is into PJ. Bring her to the show and share a great event together. If she loves you maybe she won't mind if you "let it all hang out".

You can get "a lot of money" for the extra ticket? Really? What was face value?

LloydXmas

No. Take your girlfriend

slobberdog68

I'm in the same boat but with my husband
I took him to MIA and since there were a lot of hits, he had fun but when they tour in the fall :shock:
I'm debating on whether I should just meet up with some of the fans instead. I feel kinda bad but....here's what he said when Satans Bed came on my iPod the other day, " these are the PJ songs that I hate! You can't even understand a F'ing word he's saying" one of my Fav songs btw
Anyhow, I'm not going to feel bad, it's the one thing that is mine and mine alone and at MIA all I kept doing all night was making him push closer to the front (sorry) so I could be with all the real fans.
I gotta say though, I'm a little worried about going alone since the majority of the PJ fans are guys! I've never gone to a concert alone and I'm a little worried about the drunk A-holes

ldent42

slobberdog68 wrote:

I'm in the same boat but with my husband
I took him to MIA and since there were a lot of hits, he had fun but when they tour in the fall :shock:
I'm debating on whether I should just meet up with some of the fans instead. I feel kinda bad but....here's what he said when Satans Bed came on my iPod the other day, " these are the PJ songs that I hate! You can't even understand a F'ing word he's saying" one of my Fav songs btw
Anyhow, I'm not going to feel bad, it's the one thing that is mine and mine alone and at MIA all I kept doing all night was making him push closer to the front (sorry) so I could be with all the real fans.
I gotta say though, I'm a little worried about going alone since the majority of the PJ fans are guys! I've never gone to a concert alone and I'm a little worried about the drunk A-holes

There's some chicks on here that go to shows. Im one of them. I've never gone alone, only with another chick. I'm sure you can find ppl to meet up with for particular shows, especially if you are selling a single ticket. We should start a female travel group for PJ shows

jumbojet

Dont even think of mentioning to the wife what kind of massage, dinner etc...she can get for the ticket money. She will get them contently but will still give you the cold shower, for not taking her to the show.

Sounds like your wife is a casual fan. From now on, focus on casual fan mindset. Try to understand them. Keep asking during the show, when will they play Jeremy and Alive? Make a habit of texting people or facebooking when you hear a Lost Dogs song.

If you are worrying about losing your cool in front of the wife, make her drunk before the show so that she doesnt remember anytg.