Pot and Teens

Release Mii

Found out my 16 year old sister tried pot for the 1st time recently. I'm older then her and am expecting my 1st child shortly, but not sure how to handle this. I told her to keep her priorities in order and that we would talk more later, but its later now and I don't know what to say. Anybody have siblings/children in a similar situation have any advice on how to respond?

jbarbian

I did LOTS of drugs in my teens (to nothing now). Was really afraid to deal with this topic when I had kids, but had to face it. I've always had an extremely honest and open relationship with my children about everything ( drinking, drugs,sex) which really helped. They are now young adults in college with really good head on their shoulders.

Son, now 21, loved pot. When I first found out about his first time smoking, I was non judgemental, "did you like it, how did it make you feel", I did not so any emotion when he said he loved it. We talked about brain development and the effects of drugs on a still developing brain, how that could effect personal long term goals. Moved on to my feelings (which are really on the fence about it all), not to ever be in the house because I make the rules under this roof. Closed with what the laws state, and the fact that if he got caught he would have to pay for his consequences. BUT the key is to not be preachy. Listen to why they liked it or did it.

He is now a junior at ASU in Criminal Justice, Dean's list, just got hired full-time by ASU parking enforcement (tuition now paid in full ). He knows he needs to be clean 5 years to get hired as a cop, and used those personal goals to drive his actions through college.

They do grow up

Now his dad had different feelings as he was a dealer. Spent time locked up for selling (turned rat to get out early, which disgusts me even more).

STAYSEA

How old were you when you tried pot? I think you did the right thing by being honest and open. It seems like she is responsible.

I lived with my "God" sister, and she mainly looked after me. When I was that age she caught me smoking pot. She also had a talk with me. She said , "Hey girl, you can't smoke that. You can't hang out with your friends until after you do your chores. As long as you keep your straight A's, and don't be stupid about it... I don't have a problem with you doing that. You know that I'm always here for you, but I'll kick your ass if start doing anything else."

I have a younger brother. He had his first POT when he was 28, and he didn't like it.

16 years old, it that special age, when you suddenly know everything, right?

Think of all the other stuff out there, like bath salts and that spice crap. She is going to experiment. As the older sibling, it would be a good thing if she could always feels like she can talk to you. Like you had said, she keeps her priorities in order.

I hope this helps.
Good Luck

chadwick

smoking pot is nothing & should be legal. alcohol should be illegal not marijuana. do you smoke/have you ever?

as you said, it is a good idea for folks to keep their priorities in order... fact.

hedonist

I think what you said about priorities is perfect - it's an all-encompassing mindset that applies to anything and everything, weed included.

Just continue to be there for her and be honest with her.

I'm not sure what your experience with it is, if any...but you have many good sources of information here, for sure - both on the positive and negative.

(and, I don't mean to belittle your worries, but as Staysea mentioned, holy hell at the plethora of really dangerous shit out there. Smoking weed - at 16 yet - IS par for the course)

STAYSEA

chadwick wrote:

smoking pot is nothing & should be legal. alcohol should be illegal not marijuana. do you smoke/have you ever?

as you said, it is a good idea for folks to keep their priorities in order... fact.

I over heard an alcoholic say, "If drinking and driving is illegal? Why do bars have parking spaces?"

Release Mii

I just want to make sure she knows what's important in life. I dont want her goals to get sidetracked and i need to make the message clear. Thanks for all of the good advice!

chadwick

why not get high together? hang out & play some board games, cook a meal, listen to some jams, go for a walk in the park? you can't use marijuana with your little sister,,,, because????

PJ_Soul

:think: I am more surprised to hear of 16 year olds who DON'T smoke pot, frankly. But this is a tough one. I think that no matter what you say, it will probably have minimal impact on your sister's actions. But suggest that you just tell her that sometimes people can smoke it and still be okay, but others who smoke it turn into burned out losers. Just like some who drink are fine, but others turn into alcoholics. So she should just be really careful about how much she's doing if she insists on doing it, and she should make sure that it stays on a recreational basis, and doesn't become a day thing, because that's when people start burning out and turn into do-nothings. I see no reason for you to be terribly understanding about it, even if you secretly are. You acting like you disapprove will probably have the least potential to do harm I guess. No need to encourage drug use no matter what drug it is - best to discourage in all cases, no matter what your feelings are (this coming from someone who has smoked pot since she was 13).

PJ_Soul

chadwick wrote:

why not get high together? hang out & play some board games, cook a meal, listen to some jams, go for a walk in the park? you can't use marijuana with your little sister,,,, because????

That's a terrible idea.

Bentleyspop

Unfortunately on this site you are likely to get a lof of responses like "who cares" and" just smoke up" and things like that. Just like the people who brag about how high and drunk they get in the parking lot before shows.
So here's my response...

A friend of mine asked me this morning for some advice on how to talk to her 19 yr old college freshman son about his marijuana use.

Just to be clear I don't smoke pot but did as a teenager.
We live in Colorado where under 1 ounce is legal for people over 21.
I am all for the legalization of marijuana purely for the tax income to fix the school sytem in Colorado.

Her big concern was for him it is still illegal and he doesn't have a job so he is essentially using her money to buy his pot.

Oh yeah....his dad is a cop!!

I told her to come up with her talking points in order of importance to her.
To meet him on neutral ground when he has been awake for awhile.
To explain to him that she knows about his use and that she is willing to cut him off financially.
That he need to be careful to not let it become a "problem" from both a health and financial perspective.
That he needs to be responsible for his actions.
That if he wants to continue smoking pot he needs to get a job because she will not pay for it.

For your sister be clear with her how you feel about it. be clear about the ramifications of drug use.
Don't attack her and be honest.

Good luck

Thirty Bills Unpaid

I'm not going to judge anyone smoking pot, but some items have not been presented yet that should at least give someone pause for thought before accepting pot usage among teens.

Mental illness, paranoia, psychosis, and schizophrenia have all been linked to marijuana use. Not everyone exhibits these diagnoses, but some do. Pot use quadruples teens chances for developing schizophrenia. A fairly high price for a recreational high.

Pot is not harmless. The dope kids get today is way more potent than the dope we smoked as teens.

http://www.cbc.ca/player/Shows/Shows/Th ... 398511775/

What is the answer? Not sure. Educating the kid about the 'downside of high' would be a good idea.

chadwick

Thirty Bills Unpaid wrote:

I'm not going to judge anyone smoking pot, but some items have not been presented yet that should at least give someone pause for thought before accepting pot usage among teens.

Mental illness, paranoia, psychosis, and schizophrenia have all been linked to marijuana use. Not everyone exhibits these diagnoses, but some do. Pot use quadruples teens chances for developing schizophrenia. A fairly high price for a recreational high.

Pot is not harmless. The dope kids get today is way more potent than the dope we smoked as teens.

http://www.cbc.ca/player/Shows/Shows/Th ... 398511775/

What is the answer? Not sure. Educating the kid about the 'downside of high' would be a good idea.

isn't there already mental illness in a dorement stage lurking under the surface and mrijuana may bring it out? i do not buy it that marijuana causes schizophrenia... not buying it at all. that is big brother scaring people straight like in the 1950s

chadwick

PJ_Soul wrote:

chadwick wrote:

why not get high together? hang out & play some board games, cook a meal, listen to some jams, go for a walk in the park? you can't use marijuana with your little sister,,,, because????

That's a terrible idea.

taking one's younger sibling under their wing is a terrible idea? showing one's sibling the ropes as they already show interest in a activity such as marijuana useage is a terrible idea in your book?
where did you grow up? do you have siblings?

Thirty Bills Unpaid

chadwick wrote:

isn't there already mental illness in a dorement stage lurking under the surface and mrijuana may bring it out? i do not buy it that marijuana causes schizophrenia... not buying it at all. that is big brother scaring people straight like in the 1950s

Maybe... but this doesn't refute the point. The kid with the underlying dormant mental illness is at risk when smoking marijuana. And it is inconclusive exactly how much extended use destroys typical brain regulatory channels.

I'm not deliberately trying to be the 'square' on the pot thread. I used to argue that pot did nothing and for many... it doesn't. The sad truth is though that regular or heavy usage does have an effect and for some... a major effect. Whether that be lung disease, memory loss, apathy, or something I mentioned before such as a mental illness... it must be acknowledged that pot does affect people.

chadwick

alcohol is so much worse than a simple flowering plant. what does whiskey do to a young person with a mental illness lying in dorment?

Thirty Bills Unpaid

chadwick wrote:

alcohol is so much worse than a simple flowering plant. what does whiskey do to a young person with a mental illness lying in dorment?

It's a little more than a 'simple flowering plant'.

Whiskey and alcohol can become problematic too and kids need to be educated about alcohol as well.

Hey... I'm not saying we lock up our children and ground them when we discover them smoking dope. I'm saying as a minimum, let's do our jobs as adults: educate them about the things they likely haven't heard from their friends or by doing their own research and let them make the decisions they feel they must once they understand the product they are interested in.

hedonist

chadwick wrote:

PJ_Soul wrote:

chadwick wrote:

why not get high together? hang out & play some board games, cook a meal, listen to some jams, go for a walk in the park? you can't use marijuana with your little sister,,,, because????

That's a terrible idea.

taking one's younger sibling under their wing is a terrible idea? showing one's sibling the ropes as they already show interest in a activity such as marijuana useage is a terrible idea in your book?
where did you grow up? do you have siblings?

I love my big sister for that - we became so close when our parents split, and she opened that door to/for me...in many other ways as well.

It's not always a bad thing, right? Exercise responsibility, be smart in your decisions.

Experimentation is part of life too - lessons. Have to fuck up now and then, and then learn from it.

whgarrett

Pot is an extremely potent drug, and there seems to be no end to the users craving for stronger bud. I don't think people under the age of 21 should smoke. It shouldn't be demonized, but it shouldn't be accepted either. In WA state I have been hearing of some recent freakouts due to smoking weed. These are veterans too. There are some powerful shit floating around. Also, everyones seems to be making hash oil lately. BHO.

PJ_Soul

chadwick wrote:

Thirty Bills Unpaid wrote:

I'm not going to judge anyone smoking pot, but some items have not been presented yet that should at least give someone pause for thought before accepting pot usage among teens.

Mental illness, paranoia, psychosis, and schizophrenia have all been linked to marijuana use. Not everyone exhibits these diagnoses, but some do. Pot use quadruples teens chances for developing schizophrenia. A fairly high price for a recreational high.

Pot is not harmless. The dope kids get today is way more potent than the dope we smoked as teens.

http://www.cbc.ca/player/Shows/Shows/Th ... 398511775/

What is the answer? Not sure. Educating the kid about the 'downside of high' would be a good idea.

isn't there already mental illness in a dorement stage lurking under the surface and mrijuana may bring it out? i do not buy it that marijuana causes schizophrenia... not buying it at all. that is big brother scaring people straight like in the 1950s

Yeah, I don't buy that either. It could certainly trigger it for those in which it's latent. But there is Monday to say that it wouldn't have happened anyway, even if they'd never smoked pot. I don't believe for a second that pot actually causes schizophrenia.

I have definitely seen it reduce people's quality of life though, and I've seen it lower people's potential severely (hey, maybe it lowered mine... I'm doing fine, but for all I know, if I'd never smoked dope I would be a rich doctor or something! Who knows! And that statement right there is a good reason to dissuade young people from touching the stuff). I think that how individuals handle pot use is determined by their natural disposition, actually. Some dispositions are just better suited to responsible use than others. Those others tend to burn out hard.

Thirty Bills Unpaid

PJ_Soul wrote:

Yeah, I don't buy that either. It could certainly trigger it for those in which it's latent. But there is Monday to say that it wouldn't have happened anyway, even if they'd never smoked pot. I don't believe for a second that pot actually causes schizophrenia.

I have definitely seen it reduce people's quality of life though, and I've seen it lower people's potential severely (hey, maybe it lowered mine... I'm doing fine, but for all I know, if I'd never smoked dope I would be a rich doctor or something! Who knows! And that statement right there is a good reason to dissuade young people from touching the stuff). I think that how individuals handle pot use is determined by their natural disposition, actually. Some dispositions are just better suited to responsible use than others. Those others tend to burn out hard.

You don't believe in drug induced paranoia?