went to strip club while I was PJ20

pandora

Men and women so very different, it is a challenge...
understanding is the only thing that bridges this and that doesn't come from questioning.
This is one of those 'time will tell' moments and loving him up in the meantime.
Sometimes marriage can be very scary but well worth the occasional worry that comes along.
The long haul very rewarding.

cincybearcat

amethgr8 wrote:

asking why he felt the need to lie to me was the most "talking to" we had.

I so wanted him with me to PJ20. I'm still making dinner tonight, keeping calm and carrying on. I can be mature, I know how people think. you're married and your best friends I don't see a reason to lie about something pretty trivial.

He said the same thing, "well it's really not that big of deal" and if it isn't now and wasn't at the time then just say what you're going to do or might do. did he think I was going to stay home from PJ20..

He probably didn;t want to tell you because he knew you would post on the PJ forum about it.

Seriously, you wonder why he didnt tell you?

As for strip clubs, if its a very limited thing...once in a long while just to go out and be an idiot for a while with your friends instead of being a repsonsible husband/dad, really not a big deal in my opinion. In fact, it's a safer environment for him to go to than a regular bar most of the time.

amethgr8

yea, I wonder cause we're supposed to be transparent in our marriage

he could have at least told me when I got back, a week later or when I found out thru my sister-in law (and asked him) that he asked his brother to go. he denied it.

I post very little here, and even less about my personal life. I think the strip club conversation is one that most couples had had or gone thru and that I might get some objective opinions on the matter.

for those who did, thanks to you.

amy

CJMST3K

Amy, I haven't read all the pages of this thread, but essentially I would consider this akin to "playing with yourself" when the Mrs is away, or watching the playboy channel. Its certainly hurting no one, and it's not exactly something that you A) ever discuss or ever have thrown in your face. ...how would you react if he found out that you went to go see Magic Mike alone?

I wouldn't read much into it.

-You were gone.
-He got a few beers and got to see some pretty women dancing.
-He went home.

Reading more into it is unnecessary, unless they have a brothel on the premises.

Hope this helps!

amethgr8

who is magic mike? he wouldn't find out cause I would tell him either beforehand or afterwards, I'm not ashamed of the consequences of my actions.

I'm not reading that much into it. I posted the OP just after I found out and wanted to vent. it's more about lieing than going to see some dancers.

sorry, but being in the same room as a naked person is not the same as watching them on TV. :roll: btw, we have SkinaMax which geared heavily towards the male audience not the female audience.

"rubbin one out" is something we all have as individuals, sacred or not, it's pretty natural.

it helps, it all helps to hear different views on the topic. thanks for the comments!

amy

CJMST3K

amethgr8 wrote:

sorry, but being in the same room as a naked person is not the same as watching them on TV. :roll: btw, we have SkinaMax which geared heavily towards the male audience not the female audience.

For a man who's likely been to a strip club before, it's just an extension of watching a naked woman on tv. So, I totally get that you might not see it that way, but I think that's all that it is.

Glad to try to shed some light!

josevolution

Just be happy he didn't go to a Chinese massage parlor those come with happy endings

amethgr8

so most men here would say they're comfortable with their girls going to an all male revue knowing those fellas have bigger than average units? being in the same room with them and a bunch of girls is the same as renting a porno?

just saying, just asking.

(just so everyone knows, it happened over a year ago, as far as I know it hasn't happened since and I'm over it, except for the general debate that may continue to occur here on the forum.)

LloydXmas

Of course not. There's always a double standard

SatansFuton

amethgr8 wrote:

so most men here would say they're comfortable with their girls going to an all male revue knowing those fellas have bigger than average units? being in the same room with them and a bunch of girls is the same as renting a porno?

just saying, just asking.

Porno and strip clubs are the same thing. Just because you're in the same room as the person, they're just as unattainable.

amethgr8

LloydXmas wrote:

Of course not. There's always a double standard

amethgr8

can't say that I have extensive research on either male or female nudie clubs...when I was single on the way back from the racing time trials in Indy we stopped at one and one of the guys went in the back room with the girl for a "private" dance. I attended an all male revue that came to town when I was single and one of the dancer men got pretty close to me, moving and rubbing and such. just sayin

I'm not going to judge someone based on one decision they made. I believe, regardless of if he got a "private" dance, that he didn't break any vows he made to me so what does it matter, one decision, a few hours of time.