Are we a less polite/considerate society than we used to be?

13

Comments

  • _
    _ Posts: 6,657
    hedonist wrote:
    Oh, and sorry, underscore! The conversation sort of shifted in that direction.

    There's certainly a middleground between consideration for others and looking after oneself. They're not mutually-exclusive at all.

    It's not selfishness (well, I suppose it is in a sense), but it's also survivalism. If I'm not in a position to help myself, make sure I'm on the firm footing I need, how can I help others?

    That's okay; I'm just glad you're polite enough to notice that my name is "underscore" and not "hyphen"! :lol:

    I was thinking more of self-centeredness than selfishness. And I agree about the "put your own oxygen mask on first" idea. But I guess what I was thinking of are things that are less important than that. Like if someone is asked to turn down his/her music, I think we're more likely to say, "I'm well within my rights to play this music so you shouldn't ask me to turn it down!" than to say, "I know I don't have to turn it down, but I'll do it anyway to be considerate of my neighbors" - ya know?
  • _
    _ Posts: 6,657
    BinauralJam wrote:
    The Internet is the tool to blame, but for the first time in human history perhaps we have total access to news around the world and what do they report: Fear, Violence and Death 24/7. Society has never been more paranoid and neither has the "Powers to Be" (Government, Military and Police). If Fear had Stock it would make FaceBook and Walmart look like start up companies.

    Yes, I do think that fear is part of the reason we're less neighborly than in times past.
  • whygohome
    whygohome Posts: 2,305
    BinauralJam wrote:
    The Internet is the tool to blame, but for the first time in human history perhaps we have total access to news around the world and what do they report: Fear, Violence and Death 24/7. Society has never been more paranoid and neither has the "Powers to Be" (Government, Military and Police). If Fear had Stock it would make FaceBook and Walmart look like start up companies.

    And let's not forget that any moron with an internet connection can have a blog; then, these blogs become mistaken for actual news sources; then, these blogs are linked on the AMT by the type of people who are gullible enough to believe the nonsense that the blogs disseminate.
    :mrgreen:
  • BinauralJam
    BinauralJam Posts: 14,158
    whygohome wrote:
    BinauralJam wrote:
    The Internet is the tool to blame, but for the first time in human history perhaps we have total access to news around the world and what do they report: Fear, Violence and Death 24/7. Society has never been more paranoid and neither has the "Powers to Be" (Government, Military and Police). If Fear had Stock it would make FaceBook and Walmart look like start up companies.

    And let's not forget that any moron with an internet connection can have a blog; then, these blogs become mistaken for actual news sources; then, these blogs are linked on the AMT by the type of people who are gullible enough to believe the nonsense that the blogs disseminate.
    :mrgreen:

    :oops: i'm guilty of this myself.
  • whygohome
    whygohome Posts: 2,305
    BinauralJam wrote:
    whygohome wrote:
    BinauralJam wrote:
    The Internet is the tool to blame, but for the first time in human history perhaps we have total access to news around the world and what do they report: Fear, Violence and Death 24/7. Society has never been more paranoid and neither has the "Powers to Be" (Government, Military and Police). If Fear had Stock it would make FaceBook and Walmart look like start up companies.

    And let's not forget that any moron with an internet connection can have a blog; then, these blogs become mistaken for actual news sources; then, these blogs are linked on the AMT by the type of people who are gullible enough to believe the nonsense that the blogs disseminate.
    :mrgreen:

    :oops: i'm guilty of this myself.

    But, I did not have you in mind when I typed this.
  • BinauralJam
    BinauralJam Posts: 14,158
    whygohome wrote:
    :oops: i'm guilty of this myself.

    But, I did not have you in mind when I typed this.[/quote]

    :D it's cool, i have tried to learn from it, that's all I can do.
  • hedonist
    hedonist Posts: 24,524
    _ wrote:
    But I guess what I was thinking of are things that are less important than that. Like if someone is asked to turn down his/her music, I think we're more likely to say, "I'm well within my rights to play this music so you shouldn't ask me to turn it down!" than to say, "I know I don't have to turn it down, but I'll do it anyway to be considerate of my neighbors" - ya know?
    Oh yes, and I'd agree...the simplest of niceties that used to be the norm are shrinking. It could be because we're more insulated in ways, but perhaps it's also based on reciprocation, or the lack thereof. I think someone who is shown kindness or consideration is more likely to "pay it forward", although I wish it were done for the sake of the act itself and not driven by whether or not it's been extended to you.

    (it's kinda sad that I'm pleasantly surprised when someone takes a second to hold the door open for me)
  • chadwick
    chadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    i am polite & considerate of others because it is who i am, it is how i was raised up to be. and i kept those same values and added more of my own as i grew older. seems to me that i am doing quite well in the manners department because i am told so by others, sometimes by complete strangers. iowa iowa iowa iowa iowa iowa iowa & iowa. that is my final answer. :mrgreen:

    and i would say that in this day & age many lack basic manners and sure are less polite & considerate of others.

    who gives their bus seat to the older lady or older gentleman?
    who helps the senior citizen load their groceries into their car's trunk?
    boy scouts do... and some dude named chadwick :mrgreen:

    i guess brownie points are piling up
    mostly it feels good to help someone out

















    :evil: besides all that stuff.......... ladies enjoy a helpful gentleman :twisted:

    i been known to help a young attractive gal out of her jam :mrgreen: sure is a sticky situation those jams
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • _
    _ Posts: 6,657
    whygohome wrote:
    BinauralJam wrote:
    The Internet is the tool to blame, but for the first time in human history perhaps we have total access to news around the world and what do they report: Fear, Violence and Death 24/7. Society has never been more paranoid and neither has the "Powers to Be" (Government, Military and Police). If Fear had Stock it would make FaceBook and Walmart look like start up companies.

    And let's not forget that any moron with an internet connection can have a blog; then, these blogs become mistaken for actual news sources; then, these blogs are linked on the AMT by the type of people who are gullible enough to believe the nonsense that the blogs disseminate.
    :mrgreen:

    This is totally my pet peeve!
  • pandora
    pandora Posts: 21,855
    Anyone been at a party with people who consider themselves kind and considerate...
    and let you know it, of course.
    Then rag on about other people either at the party or worse yet the poor souls
    who didn't show up that time around. :fp:

    Funny stuff...

    My theory if you are a meanie you get treated as so ...
    just the opposite if you reach out to others kindly they do so also.
    This with people coming to your door, the salesperson you might meet in your travels,
    the young cash register checker, your employee, your long lost friend, your bestest buddy.
    It's all the same. Everyone wants respect.
    A smile seems to warm all hearts and it would rare for it not to be returned.

    Someone mentioned parenting I think, that has very much to do with being polite.
    It is not a lost art here in the South at all. Niceties a normality here.
  • whygohome
    whygohome Posts: 2,305
    pandora wrote:
    Anyone been at a party with people who consider themselves kind and considerate...
    and let you know it, of course.
    Then rag on about other people either at the party or worse yet the poor souls
    who didn't show up that time around. :fp:

    Funny stuff...

    My theory if you are a meanie you get treated as so ...
    just the opposite if you reach out to others kindly they do so also.
    This with people coming to your door, the salesperson you might meet in your travels,
    the young cash register checker, your employee, your long lost friend, your bestest buddy.
    It's all the same. Everyone wants respect.
    A smile seems to warm all hearts and it would rare for it not to be returned.

    Someone mentioned parenting I think, that has very much to do with being polite.
    It is not a lost art here in the South at all. Niceties a normality here.

    I used to live in the South, let's not overgeneralize......... :mrgreen:
  • chadwick
    chadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    pandora wrote:
    Anyone been at a party with people who consider themselves kind and considerate...
    and let you know it, of course.
    Then rag on about other people either at the party or worse yet the poor souls
    who didn't show up that time around. :fp:

    Funny stuff...

    My theory if you are a meanie you get treated as so ...
    just the opposite if you reach out to others kindly they do so also.
    This with people coming to your door, the salesperson you might meet in your travels,
    the young cash register checker, your employee, your long lost friend, your bestest buddy.
    It's all the same. Everyone wants respect.
    A smile seems to warm all hearts and it would rare for it not to be returned.

    Someone mentioned parenting I think, that has very much to do with being polite.
    It is not a lost art here in the South at all. Niceties a normality here.
    love me the manners and whatnot of the south. when i was a truck driver the southern folks i delt with were fantastic and very hard working. the truck stop diners???? forget about it...those gals are as delicious as the meals they be servin up...beings im a northern yankee i know zero bout grits... this is perfect for playin the dumbie w/ the waitresses... they be sittin on my lap feeding me grits... aint no wonder they be goin home w/ huge pockets fulla tip money
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • pandora
    pandora Posts: 21,855
    whygohome wrote:
    pandora wrote:
    Anyone been at a party with people who consider themselves kind and considerate...
    and let you know it, of course.
    Then rag on about other people either at the party or worse yet the poor souls
    who didn't show up that time around. :fp:

    Funny stuff...

    My theory if you are a meanie you get treated as so ...
    just the opposite if you reach out to others kindly they do so also.
    This with people coming to your door, the salesperson you might meet in your travels,
    the young cash register checker, your employee, your long lost friend, your bestest buddy.
    It's all the same. Everyone wants respect.
    A smile seems to warm all hearts and it would rare for it not to be returned.

    Someone mentioned parenting I think, that has very much to do with being polite.
    It is not a lost art here in the South at all. Niceties a normality here.

    I used to live in the South, let's not overgeneralize......... :mrgreen:
    When we moved here it was yes sir yes ma'am ...
    being from WI my kids hadn't learned that.
    They picked it up quick though and now all grown up it is a habit.
    Yes in general very polite in the South...
    but WI is very friendly :D
  • Godfather.
    Godfather. Posts: 12,504
    _ wrote:
    A thread on the AET just got me thinking about this. It seems to me that people are much less considerate of & polite to others than in times past. Our reactions to situations more often come from a self-centered perspective than one of concern for others. (I think this goes along with the individual vs. social perspectives that characterize much of politics.)

    Do you think this is true? Do you think we're less likely to help our neighbors & give up our seats on busses - or whatever else - than we used to be as a society?

    if I had to judge by comments made by some train members :lol: I would say yes it's true....but judging by people that I 've met and things I see from day to day I'd say we will be just fine. ;)

    Godfather.
  • whygohome
    whygohome Posts: 2,305
    pandora wrote:
    whygohome wrote:
    pandora wrote:
    Anyone been at a party with people who consider themselves kind and considerate...
    and let you know it, of course.
    Then rag on about other people either at the party or worse yet the poor souls
    who didn't show up that time around. :fp:

    Funny stuff...

    My theory if you are a meanie you get treated as so ...
    just the opposite if you reach out to others kindly they do so also.
    This with people coming to your door, the salesperson you might meet in your travels,
    the young cash register checker, your employee, your long lost friend, your bestest buddy.
    It's all the same. Everyone wants respect.
    A smile seems to warm all hearts and it would rare for it not to be returned.

    Someone mentioned parenting I think, that has very much to do with being polite.
    It is not a lost art here in the South at all. Niceties a normality here.

    I used to live in the South, let's not overgeneralize......... :mrgreen:
    When we moved here it was yes sir yes ma'am ...
    being from WI my kids hadn't learned that.
    They picked it up quick though and now all grown up it is a habit.
    Yes in general very polite in the South...
    but WI is very friendly :D

    I moved there from Long Island. they hated me because of my accent; I was told numerous times that more Union soldiers died in the Civil War than Confederate soldiers; I was told the "South will rise again."

    In the end, some of my best friends are from the South; but, the idea of politeness is only skin deep

    Fun stuff.
  • _
    _ Posts: 6,657
    whygohome wrote:

    In the end, some of my best friends are from the South; but, the idea of politeness is only skin deep

    Well now let's not overgeneralize.
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    Jeanwah wrote:
    Sorry to sound blunt, but just the idea of your job being to push a product to the public to buy is just completely against my values. And I majored in media marketing in college. I'm not trying to put you personally down, it's the industry I have a problem with. They not only worship the almighty dollar, they push the concept of money worship and materialism on everyone else for a living. (not to mention that it is you who said that a sales friend of yours views people as morons...)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDW_Hj2K0wo

    hmmm i would rather gouge out my eyeballs than work in retail. this has long been my feeling on the subject. even walking into a mall makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. however... my feelings fall short when my perfect job would be to work in a bookstore 'pushing the product' on the public. i would have zero problem recommending books to people... same goes for music tbh.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    _ wrote:
    BinauralJam wrote:
    The Internet is the tool to blame, but for the first time in human history perhaps we have total access to news around the world and what do they report: Fear, Violence and Death 24/7. Society has never been more paranoid and neither has the "Powers to Be" (Government, Military and Police). If Fear had Stock it would make FaceBook and Walmart look like start up companies.

    Yes, I do think that fear is part of the reason we're less neighborly than in times past.

    and that right there is an interesting thought isnt it? were less neighbourly due to fear yet it is that fear that causes being less neighbourly. if we could get past that fear we wouldnt be less neighbourly its the unknown that bites us in the arse and our ability or lack thereof to get past it. personally i tend not to approach people simply cause i dont like people.. nothing whatsoever to do with fear. in fact my fear level in regards to strangers is nonexistant. its not cause youre a stranger that i choose not to approach you, its cause youre a person.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • Jeanwah
    Jeanwah Posts: 6,363
    My dad was telling me some time ago that, in his day and long before, everyone had front porches and they were meant for not only family to gather but to encourage neighbors to interact and create the sense of community. Now everyone has fences around their property, creating borders and no one sits on their front porches to commune with the neighbors. I'm sure that our way of closing ourselves off inhibits with being polite and considerate of others...
  • pandora
    pandora Posts: 21,855
    whygohome wrote:
    pandora wrote:
    whygohome wrote:
    I used to live in the South, let's not overgeneralize......... :mrgreen:
    When we moved here it was yes sir yes ma'am ...
    being from WI my kids hadn't learned that.
    They picked it up quick though and now all grown up it is a habit.
    Yes in general very polite in the South...
    but WI is very friendly :D

    I moved there from Long Island. they hated me because of my accent; I was told numerous times that more Union soldiers died in the Civil War than Confederate soldiers; I was told the "South will rise again."

    In the end, some of my best friends are from the South; but, the idea of politeness is only skin deep

    Fun stuff.
    Oh I love love love Long Island... we had 5 days there just trucking around
    and stalking Nelson DeMille ;) just kidding, well sort of, he's grand.
    I love the accent and met the nicest people at the local pubs.
    I will say politeness can come from the heart wanting to be considerate but also
    it is just common courtesy too. I have a strong WI accent so I am often
    mistaken for Canadian.... some even guessed that on Long Island ... close but no cigar. :D

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