Are we a less polite/considerate society than we used to be?

Jeanwah

hedonist wrote:

Agreed...plus, I think we're always selling something - even ourselves. It's a necessity, no? Part of the process. Doesn't mean one has to be an asshole about it either.

I don't really believe that we're always selling something, ourselves even. What happened to be just being? Maybe it's because I'm an introvert and tend to be somewhat quiet with people, but I've never felt I've needed to "sell" anything other than when I worked at McDonald's as a teenager, and I did that unwillingly. I do believe in being kind and treating people with respect.

_

Go Beavers wrote:

I think it really varies where you are, what region, town/city/rural, etc. I find that if you put politeness and consideration out there, you see more of it around you.

I tend to agree with this. Having been raised in the South, I'm a big believer in southern hospitality (or whatever you want to call it). (Of course that seems a little antithetical to my earlier comment about politics.) My friends & I were raised to call everyone ma'am & sir and Mr. & Mrs., to give up our seats on the bus to our elders, to do yard work for elderly neighbors, etc. I always remember the stark contrast when I moved out west. But maybe times have changed in the South too.

hedonist

brianlux wrote:

On the flip side, I think it's important to be polite to people who work in low paying sales jobs or any low paying job- cleaning service workers, gas station cashiers, etc. Or any thankless job. Too many people work for too little money and are treated like dirt.

I think it's important to be polite to people, period. No one should be treated like dirt, regardless of how much they do or don't earn.

_

whygohome wrote:

In general, maybe.
It comes down to brainwashing by fast food cable news networks and "reality" TV; in other words, it comes down to our minds being poisoned and an inability to seek out knowledge and think for ourselves.

What comes down to those things - whether people are polite or whether society is perceived as polite?

_

blackredyellow wrote:

I think you need to separate anonymous and in person.

In the online (or even phone) world, there is basically no politeness. People routinely say things that they would not say to another person face to face, and that is pathetic.

But even in face to face conversations, people have gotten worse, and anyone who works with the public can tell you that.

I meet some of the nicest people, and will go out of my way to help them out, but I also meet some of the most demanding, rude people. And that second segment seems to grow every year. Not only do people seem stupider, but they are more demanding than I remember.

I was thinking about in person.

And I used to work with the general public too. Never again. Way too many people were disrespectful &/or stupid. (ETA: I have plenty of stories of people's stupidity, so please don't judge that comment.)

hedonist

_ wrote:

whygohome wrote:

In general, maybe.
It comes down to brainwashing by fast food cable news networks and "reality" TV; in other words, it comes down to our minds being poisoned and an inability to seek out knowledge and think for ourselves.

What comes down to those things - whether people are polite or whether society is perceived as polite?

Hope I didn't misunderstand your question...but wouldn't it come down to one's own experience, gut, instinct?

I can usually tell when someone is being sincere, vs. sarcastic or snarky. I typically can't and don't rely on outside influences for that.

cowboypjfan

hedonist wrote:

I think we're always selling something - even ourselves. It's a necessity, no? Part of the process. Doesn't mean one has to be an asshole about it either.

Agreed. If people didn't sell themselves or highlight their strengths on occasion, they wouldn't have a job. Quite simple. If businesses didn't have a sales process, how would they even procure products to bring to market?

There are bad salespeople out there, for sure, but I like them because then I have the opportunity to take their customers and prove that not all salespeople are assholes.

_

brianlux wrote:

As far as being polite/considerate-I'd easily say people are not as polite and considerate today as in the past. My father was born in 1921 and is still alive and he'll tell you this is true. I think a lot of it has do do with more people competing for fewer resources, dealing with higher stress, living in a less healthy environment and watching too much TV.

The solution? Maybe start be having people read more Kurt Vonnegut. He talked about that in a number of his books. He used words like "considerate" and "polite".

I agree that stress can make individuals less polite than they normally are when they're not stressed. But I don't think the things I bolded above are good reasons for our society as a whole to have become less polite than in times past.

I'm thinking of my great-grandmother, for instance, who was born in 1897 & raised a family during the Depression. They were just as poor as everyone else. But from what she told me, she & her neighbors worked together to share the scarce resources rather than competing for them. She was known for feeding anyone who came to her door. (She found out later that the hobos had marked her house so they'd all know where to go for food.) And that's my point. Back then people looked out for each other. But now they tend to look out primarily for themselves.

_

hedonist wrote:

_ wrote:

whygohome wrote:

In general, maybe.
It comes down to brainwashing by fast food cable news networks and "reality" TV; in other words, it comes down to our minds being poisoned and an inability to seek out knowledge and think for ourselves.

What comes down to those things - whether people are polite or whether society is perceived as polite?

Hope I didn't misunderstand your question...but wouldn't it come down to one's own experience, gut, instinct?

I can usually tell when someone is being sincere, vs. sarcastic or snarky. I typically can't and don't rely on outside influences for that.

I just meant that I didn't understand whygohome's use of the word "it".

_

How did this turn into a thread about sales? :?

Jeanwah

cowboypjfan wrote:

hedonist wrote:

I think we're always selling something - even ourselves. It's a necessity, no? Part of the process. Doesn't mean one has to be an asshole about it either.

Agreed. If people didn't sell themselves or highlight their strengths on occasion, they wouldn't have a job. Quite simple. If businesses didn't have a sales process, how would they even procure products to bring to market?

There are bad salespeople out there, for sure, but I like them because then I have the opportunity to take their customers and prove that not all salespeople are assholes.

See, it's that selling mentality that plagues society doesn't it? (Sorry _) And I'm not talking about business. Selling ourselves would mean putting ourselves front and center and trying to prove to the world our exceptional and superior abilities and strengths, whereas _'s point is that caring for others, rather than just focusing on ourselves, would be a nicer, more polite world. So selling does fit into this topic, but I apologize for getting carried away with it.

whygohome

_ wrote:

whygohome wrote:

In general, maybe.
It comes down to brainwashing by fast food cable news networks and "reality" TV; in other words, it comes down to our minds being poisoned and an inability to seek out knowledge and think for ourselves.

I just meant that I didn't understand whygohome's use of the word "it".

It depends on what your definition of "it" is.

In my post, "it" simply refers to our culture, the ever encroaching disease perpetuated by mass media illusions of humanity; it refers to an under/uneducated, misinformed public that has no regard for civics but instead resorts to an egomaniacal display of ignorance and self-imposed ideological imprisonment.

lukin2006

Yes we are getting less considerate. As for sales people...they don't bother me...most are just trying to make a living, most sales people I've dealt with are not pushy. As for anyone who would like to see consumerism come to an end or slow...do you have a plan in place to support these folks who will lose their jobs? and besides why is it such a big deal that those who are working are spending their money supporting the economy? Never understood why people care so much what other people do with their $$$...and then don't realize how crippling a blow to the economy if people just stopped spending.

whygohome

lukin2006 wrote:

Yes we are getting less considerate. As for sales people...they don't bother me...most are just trying to make a living, most sales people I've dealt with are not pushy. As for anyone who would like to see consumerism come to an end or slow...do you have a plan in place to support these folks who will lose their jobs? and besides why is it such a big deal that those who are working are spending their money supporting the economy? Never understood why people care so much what other people do with their $$$...and then don't realize how crippling a blow to the economy if people just stopped spending.

Unfortunately, consumerism and materialism are important aspects of a capitalist system.

lukin2006

_ wrote:

How did this turn into a thread about sales? :?

I think because some people think people are in sales are not very considerate...which for the most part is false.

lukin2006

whygohome wrote:

lukin2006 wrote:

Yes we are getting less considerate. As for sales people...they don't bother me...most are just trying to make a living, most sales people I've dealt with are not pushy. As for anyone who would like to see consumerism come to an end or slow...do you have a plan in place to support these folks who will lose their jobs? and besides why is it such a big deal that those who are working are spending their money supporting the economy? Never understood why people care so much what other people do with their $$$...and then don't realize how crippling a blow to the economy if people just stopped spending.

Unfortunately, consumerism and materialism are important aspects of a capitalist system.

I would say the vast majority of the world depends on money exchanging hands...personally I don't have a problem with it.

hedonist

Jeanwah wrote:

hedonist wrote:

Agreed...plus, I think we're always selling something - even ourselves. It's a necessity, no? Part of the process. Doesn't mean one has to be an asshole about it either.

I don't really believe that we're always selling something, ourselves even. What happened to be just being? Maybe it's because I'm an introvert and tend to be somewhat quiet with people, but I've never felt I've needed to "sell" anything other than when I worked at McDonald's as a teenager, and I did that unwillingly. I do believe in being kind and treating people with respect.

I hear you, on the last part especially. And I'm pretty introverted myself.

What I meant was selling in the sense of daily living - hell, I had to sell myself at every interview I've been on. Working my ass off every day is a form of selling myself...trying to get an idea across - or in the cases of others, a product. I don't think one needs to be slick or deceitful to promote themselves or an idea but I can see where some would equate the term "salesman" with that side of it.

(note - difference between selling and selling out!)

hedonist

Oh, and sorry, underscore! The conversation sort of shifted in that direction.

There's certainly a middleground between consideration for others and looking after oneself. They're not mutually-exclusive at all.

It's not selfishness (well, I suppose it is in a sense), but it's also survivalism. If I'm not in a position to help myself, make sure I'm on the firm footing I need, how can I help others?

_

whygohome wrote:

_ wrote:

whygohome wrote:

In general, maybe.
It comes down to brainwashing by fast food cable news networks and "reality" TV; in other words, it comes down to our minds being poisoned and an inability to seek out knowledge and think for ourselves.

I just meant that I didn't understand whygohome's use of the word "it".

It depends on what your definition of "it" is.

In my post, "it" simply refers to our culture, the ever encroaching disease perpetuated by mass media illusions of humanity; it refers to an under/uneducated, misinformed public that has no regard for civics but instead resorts to an egomaniacal display of ignorance and self-imposed ideological imprisonment.

Huh. Okay, I guess I misunderstood even more than I realized. I thouht you were saying either (1) politeness or (2) our perception of politeness "comes down to brainwashing by fast food cable news networks and "reality" TV; in other words, it comes down to our minds being poisoned and an inability to seek out knowledge and think for ourselves".

BinauralJam

The Internet is the tool to blame, but for the first time in human history perhaps we have total access to news around the world and what do they report: Fear, Violence and Death 24/7. Society has never been more paranoid and neither has the "Powers to Be" (Government, Military and Police). If Fear had Stock it would make FaceBook and Walmart look like start up companies.