Are we a less polite/considerate society than we used to be?
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A thread on the AET just got me thinking about this. It seems to me that people are much less considerate of & polite to others than in times past. Our reactions to situations more often come from a self-centered perspective than one of concern for others. (I think this goes along with the individual vs. social perspectives that characterize much of politics.)
Do you think this is true? Do you think we're less likely to help our neighbors & give up our seats on busses - or whatever else - than we used to be as a society?
Do you think this is true? Do you think we're less likely to help our neighbors & give up our seats on busses - or whatever else - than we used to be as a society?
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(sorry. couldn't resist. yes, I think that people seeing "reality" TV shows and thinking that it's actual reality and not the scripted mess that it is has turned us into a society of assholes. case in point... me. Although I don't watch reality shows. So... maybe something in the water.)
its a more "me" society.
A friend of mine who has been in sales for years said that the first thing he once told a load of new recruits was that 90% of the population are morons. I think he's right.
People who work in sales have no consciences, since their goal is to get people to buy their crap. I have zero respect for anyone choosing to work in sales. As long as sales people treat their customers as though they're morons, the bar is set quite low for human respect. And people wonder why people are rude...
The media wants drama (to get attention), and drama means not being nice or polite. The Internet encourages dramatic behavior, and as long as people pay attention to the media machine (and the behaviors they want) they'll continue to be brainwashed into conforming to that. Being a consumer keeps people focused in materialism, nothing else (the salesman's role). Being nice and respectful of others is quickly being lost unless you detach from the media centered society. Which is totally doable. Don't be sheeple.
That's true. And the more you practice, the more that comes back in return. Karma can be a bitch but also a blessing.
I sell sophisticated technology products that enhance the safety and security of many people(including yourself). Don't be so quick to judge someone else's career choice/path.
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
Sorry to sound blunt, but just the idea of your job being to push a product to the public to buy is just completely against my values. And I majored in media marketing in college. I'm not trying to put you personally down, it's the industry I have a problem with. They not only worship the almighty dollar, they push the concept of money worship and materialism on everyone else for a living. (not to mention that it is you who said that a sales friend of yours views people as morons...)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDW_Hj2K0wo
It comes down to brainwashing by fast food cable news networks and "reality" TV; in other words, it comes down to our minds being poisoned and an inability to seek out knowledge and think for ourselves.
I love our salespeople at our vendors. They make business worth doing.
They actually care about us and appreciate us as we do our customers.
Round and round we go and it is all good.
I don't think people are less polite/considerate.
Some people are inconsiderate often based in cynicism, yes ...
very negative in general.
But if you have a smile on your face, you yourself are polite and courteous,
this is what you get back. Give and receive.
Sorry, that wasn't me.
I am in commercial sales and don't even sell to the public. My product is strictly sold to enhance business processes and culture and ensure the safety and security for the company and it's customers throughout the us.
btw, to answer the op's question/topic, yes, we are less polite/considerate than we used to be. The example here would be the guy viewing people as morons and those that stereotype salespeople.
You're right!
no worries.
In the online (or even phone) world, there is basically no politeness. People routinely say things that they would not say to another person face to face, and that is pathetic.
But even in face to face conversations, people have gotten worse, and anyone who works with the public can tell you that.
I meet some of the nicest people, and will go out of my way to help them out, but I also meet some of the most demanding, rude people. And that second segment seems to grow every year. Not only do people seem stupider, but they are more demanding than I remember.
was like a picture
of a sunny day
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
― Abraham Lincoln
Yes, we picture the sleazy used car salesmen type, or the cheesy sales guy promising the world to everyone, but there are a lot of good sales people out there.
was like a picture
of a sunny day
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
― Abraham Lincoln
All that said, I am in sales. I sell used books. I feel a lot better about doing that than I did when I sold new books. New books are over-priced and many publishers are more about moving units than producing a good product. Text books companies are the worst- they're all about money. I worked in a college bookstore for five years and hated it that students were shelling out big money every semester for books that a few minor revisions as an excuse to produce edition x, y or z of a text book. Most of the printing and binding is now outsourced to poor countries where people are paid slave wages to produce things. Selling used books is closer to recycling and though I don't make as much money as I could selling new products, I'm much happier as are my customers.
On the flip side, I think it's important to be polite to people who work in low paying sales jobs or any low paying job- cleaning service workers, gas station cashiers, etc. Or any thankless job. Too many people work for too little money and are treated like dirt.
As far as being polite/considerate-I'd easily say people are not as polite and considerate today as in the past. My father was born in 1921 and is still alive and he'll tell you this is true. I think a lot of it has do do with more people competing for fewer resources, dealing with higher stress, living in a less healthy environment and watching too much TV.
The solution? Maybe start be having people read more Kurt Vonnegut. He talked about that in a number of his books. He used words like "considerate" and "polite".
-Eddie Vedder, "Smile"
I did, however, get out of retail sales in my early 20s when I felt the burnout coming on; took too much out of me at some point.
(people are draining sometimes!)
As to the original question, I would say yes, without a doubt.
Manners, thoughtfulness, basic politeness - fading. All it takes for me to see it is to drive around town, or try to navigate my way down an aisle at the market without having to go around someone in another world (their own) while on their phone - AN URGENT CALL - drama alert!
"Please" and "thank you" seem to have now become the exception and not the rule.
That said, I haven't lost sight of or hope in those who are still courteous, those who do the right thing because their conscience dictates it and not just because someone is watching.
Yeah, the glass is still half-full...I think.
Yes, Brian, I meant what I said about sales as an industry and I hope you don't take it personally. And you have a good point about selling used books vs. new books and text books (which students get small change back when they turn them in, in good condition, after they pay big bucks for them at the start of the semester). And the way I look at books in general is that they are for enrichment, and not some throw-away product; something we have a huge market for and is generally what I loathe.
I tend to agree with this. Having been raised in the South, I'm a big believer in southern hospitality (or whatever you want to call it). (Of course that seems a little antithetical to my earlier comment about politics.) My friends & I were raised to call everyone ma'am & sir and Mr. & Mrs., to give up our seats on the bus to our elders, to do yard work for elderly neighbors, etc. I always remember the stark contrast when I moved out west. But maybe times have changed in the South too.
What comes down to those things - whether people are polite or whether society is perceived as polite?
I was thinking about in person.
And I used to work with the general public too. Never again. Way too many people were disrespectful &/or stupid. (ETA: I have plenty of stories of people's stupidity, so please don't judge that comment.)
I can usually tell when someone is being sincere, vs. sarcastic or snarky. I typically can't and don't rely on outside influences for that.
Agreed. If people didn't sell themselves or highlight their strengths on occasion, they wouldn't have a job. Quite simple. If businesses didn't have a sales process, how would they even procure products to bring to market?
There are bad salespeople out there, for sure, but I like them because then I have the opportunity to take their customers and prove that not all salespeople are assholes.
I agree that stress can make individuals less polite than they normally are when they're not stressed. But I don't think the things I bolded above are good reasons for our society as a whole to have become less polite than in times past.
I'm thinking of my great-grandmother, for instance, who was born in 1897 & raised a family during the Depression. They were just as poor as everyone else. But from what she told me, she & her neighbors worked together to share the scarce resources rather than competing for them. She was known for feeding anyone who came to her door. (She found out later that the hobos had marked her house so they'd all know where to go for food.) And that's my point. Back then people looked out for each other. But now they tend to look out primarily for themselves.
I just meant that I didn't understand whygohome's use of the word "it".