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Was she "asking for it"?

LiLiNY81LiLiNY81 Posts: 775
edited August 2012 in All Encompassing Trip
Dennis Hopper's son is being sued by a mother of a 15-year-old girl...she's claiming he (a 21-year-old) lured her daughter to his home with the promise of drugs and alcohol. Once she got wasted, he took advantage of her.

When I read the article, it wasn't so much the act of what he did that disturbed me most. It was the fact that a 15-year-old went to an older man's house to do drugs and drink. I understand teens do shit to be rebellious, but there's a line. I smoked and drank at 15 (not a lot, but I did it), but I never could fathom putting myself in that situation. And I did it with my other 15-year-old friends. I'm sure the girl was aware of what would happen...surely, she didn't think they would get wasted and play Monopoly.

The debate I'm having is whether this could fall under the "she asked for it" scenario? Of course, I find it hard to say that anyone asks to be violated. But honestly, what do you expect? My theory is if you don't want unsavory attention and advances, don't put yourself in shady situations.

Thoughts?
"Now YOU listen. When we are on this ship, you are to refer to me as 'Idiot' not 'You Captain'!"
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  • DS1119DS1119 Posts: 33,497
    They both put themselves in a bad situation and both are at fault...but the law is still the law. Just my opinion.
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 29,003
    no she wasnt asking for it. henry hopper is an adult. what the fuck was he doing inviting a 15 year old to his place? bad form henry bad form.
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  • peacefrompaulpeacefrompaul Posts: 25,293
    catefrances wrote:
    no she wasnt asking for it. henry hopper is an adult. what the fuck was he doing inviting a 15 year old to his place? bad form henry bad form.

    It happens all the time.
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 29,003
    peacefrompaul wrote:
    catefrances wrote:
    no she wasnt asking for it. henry hopper is an adult. what the fuck was he doing inviting a 15 year old to his place? bad form henry bad form.

    It happens all the time.

    im sure it does... doesnt make it right tho.. nor does it make it acceptable.
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  • peacefrompaulpeacefrompaul Posts: 25,293
    Was she asking for it? Yes... indeed...

    Is the male still at fault? Yes, yes he is. As DS said, "the law is still the law"
  • mca47mca47 Posts: 13,280
    DS1119 wrote:
    They both put themselves in a bad situation and both are at fault...but the law is still the law. Just my opinion.
    Agreed.
    How hard is it to ask a chick's age? "18 huh? Well, I'm just gonna get drunk. Just give me a half hour or so..."


    :D
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 29,003
    peacefrompaul wrote:
    Was she asking for it? Yes... indeed...

    Is the male still at fault? Yes, yes he is. As DS said, "the law is still the law"


    how was she asking for it??? a hot young actor invites an impressionable girl to his place... and she accepts the invitation. im sure she didnt expect to be raped. thats horseshit.
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  • LloydXmasLloydXmas Posts: 7,539
    I would like to know where they met. Was it an adult establishment (club, bar, etc), did she introduce herself to him? Did she tell him she was older?


    Lured to me sounds like he waited outside of a school or near a bus stop.
  • peacefrompaulpeacefrompaul Posts: 25,293
    catefrances wrote:
    peacefrompaul wrote:
    catefrances wrote:
    no she wasnt asking for it. henry hopper is an adult. what the fuck was he doing inviting a 15 year old to his place? bad form henry bad form.

    It happens all the time.

    im sure it does... doesnt make it right tho.. nor does it make it acceptable.

    Well, that he took advantage of her isn't acceptable to me. Otherwise, it's not really any of my business. I'll just say that I don't allow 15 year olds to my parties... There are creeps out there.

    What does it mean by lured?
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 29,003
    LloydXmas wrote:
    I would like to know where they met. Was it an adult establishment (club, bar, etc), did she introduce herself to him? Did she tell him she was older?


    Lured to me sounds like he waited outside of a school or near a bus stop.

    according to the huffington report they met throgh a mutual friend and continued that friendship via facebook. the girl had gone to hoppers place more than once it would seem.
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  • LloydXmasLloydXmas Posts: 7,539
    I don't know. Seems like this girl was hanging out, partying and doing other stuff that she shouldn't have been doing at 15 (not being lured). I'm not placing blame on her at all, I just think that the mother maybe got embarrassed by her daughter and sees this as a pay day.

    Hopper Jr should be aware of his surroundings.
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 29,003
    LloydXmas wrote:
    I don't know. Seems like this girl was hanging out, partying and doing other stuff that she shouldn't have been doing at 15 (not being lured). I'm not placing blame on her at all, I just think that the mother maybe got embarrassed by her daughter and sees this as a pay day.

    Hopper Jr should be aware of his surroundings.


    we may well be speaking of statutory rape in this case. i wouldnt imagine if she felt hopper was co ercing her into acts of sexual ludeness shed go back for more... tho maybe she would.. who knows? seems mum found out and the girls survival instincts kicked in. what doesnt change is the fact that hes an adult and shes not.
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  • DS1119DS1119 Posts: 33,497
    This reminds me of a a story that hits home for me.

    Buddy of mine goes to college freshamn year...he's 19...comes home for winter break...has sex with his girlfriend of 2 years on New Years Eve...she was 17...they get caught by Dad and the girl claims she was ridiculously drunk and didn't know what was going on to save her embarrassment...he gets charged with statuatory rape...Rutger's University finds out about the charges and he's asked to leave the football team...during meetings with the attorney's A YEAR LATER she fesses up and explains she knew what was going on and begged for the charges to be dropped. If memory serves me correctly the charges couldn't be fully dropped becasue of the age difference but were pled dwon to something insignificant.

    This story smells like my buddies a lot.
  • Who PrincessWho Princess Posts: 7,305
    When I was 15, I had absolutely no realistic sense of what was a dangerous situation. I thought older guys were really cool and their interest in me was a sign of my own maturity. :fp:

    I was very stupid. I'm extremely fortunate that I never came to any harm.

    So I don't buy the idea that this girl knew the risk she was taking. It disgusts me that anyone would suggest that she knowingly put herself in situation where a man--who certainly knew what he was doing!--could take advantage of her.
    "The stars are all connected to the brain."
  • DS1119DS1119 Posts: 33,497
    Who Princess wrote:
    When I was 15, I had absolutely no realistic sense of what was a dangerous situation. I thought older guys were really cool and their interest in me was a sign of my own maturity. :fp:

    I was very stupid. I'm extremely fortunate that I never came to any harm.

    So I don't buy the idea that this girl knew the risk she was taking. It disgusts me that anyone would suggest that she knowingly put herself in situation where a man--who certainly knew what he was doing!--could take advantage of her.


    Any girl at 15 that doesn't recognize a dangerous "sexual" situation with someone older and there's alcohol and drugs involved as well better not be in that fucking line at 16 waiting to get her driver's license then becasue she is obviously very high on the dumb scale. :lol: :fp:
  • mca47mca47 Posts: 13,280
    DS1119 wrote:
    This reminds me of a a story that hits home for me.

    Buddy of mine goes to college freshamn year...he's 19...comes home for winter break...has sex with his girlfriend of 2 years on New Years Eve...she was 17...they get caught by Dad and the girl claims she was ridiculously drunk and didn't know what was going on to save her embarrassment...he gets charged with statuatory rape...Rutger's University finds out about the charges and he's asked to leave the football team...during meetings with the attorney's A YEAR LATER she fesses up and explains she knew what was going on and begged for the charges to be dropped. If memory serves me correctly the charges couldn't be fully dropped becasue of the age difference but were pled dwon to something insignificant.

    This story smells like my buddies a lot.
    I knew a similar situation my fresh year of college. A buddy (18) got busted for banging his ex (17) during spring break. She was "late", told her mom about it and she filed charges. She was JUST late and nothing more, but he got like 2 years probation and had to register as a sex offender or some shit. Yikes!!!

    A year later (19)I was at a Dave concert at Alpine. Met this amazing girl, made out a bit and later found out she was 17. I was beyond shocked! I pretty much ran for it and thank god I asked! Yeah... Not a proud moment, but she was 2'years younger, nothing happened and she looked like she was 20. Coulda been trouble!! :shock:
  • Who PrincessWho Princess Posts: 7,305
    DS1119 wrote:
    Any girl at 15 that doesn't recognize a dangerous "sexual" situation with someone older and there's alcohol and drugs involved as well better not be in that fucking line at 16 waiting to get her driver's license then becasue she is obviously very high on the dumb scale. :lol: :fp:
    Why not? I took driver's ed when I was 15 too! :lol:
    "The stars are all connected to the brain."
  • Who PrincessWho Princess Posts: 7,305
    mca47 wrote:
    DS1119 wrote:
    This reminds me of a a story that hits home for me.

    Buddy of mine goes to college freshamn year...he's 19...comes home for winter break...has sex with his girlfriend of 2 years on New Years Eve...she was 17...they get caught by Dad and the girl claims she was ridiculously drunk and didn't know what was going on to save her embarrassment...he gets charged with statuatory rape...Rutger's University finds out about the charges and he's asked to leave the football team...during meetings with the attorney's A YEAR LATER she fesses up and explains she knew what was going on and begged for the charges to be dropped. If memory serves me correctly the charges couldn't be fully dropped becasue of the age difference but were pled dwon to something insignificant.

    This story smells like my buddies a lot.
    I knew a similar situation my fresh year of college. A buddy (18) got busted for banging his ex (17) during spring break. She was "late", told her mom about it and she filed charges. She was JUST late and nothing more, but he got like 2 years probation and had to register as a sex offender or some shit. Yikes!!!

    A year later (19)I was at a Dave concert at Alpine. Met this amazing girl, made out a bit and later found out she was 17. I was beyond shocked! I pretty much ran for it and thank god I asked! Yeah... Not a proud moment, but she was 2'years younger, nothing happened and she looked like she was 20. Coulda been trouble!! :shock:
    OK, we've heard about how girls should have known better. Do these guys not know that there's something called the age of consent? It's like they're asking for it!

    j/k, but do you see what I'm saying? Teenagers are not particularly smart or experienced about a lot of things, be they female or male.
    "The stars are all connected to the brain."
  • peacefrompaulpeacefrompaul Posts: 25,293
    mca47 wrote:
    DS1119 wrote:
    This reminds me of a a story that hits home for me.

    Buddy of mine goes to college freshamn year...he's 19...comes home for winter break...has sex with his girlfriend of 2 years on New Years Eve...she was 17...they get caught by Dad and the girl claims she was ridiculously drunk and didn't know what was going on to save her embarrassment...he gets charged with statuatory rape...Rutger's University finds out about the charges and he's asked to leave the football team...during meetings with the attorney's A YEAR LATER she fesses up and explains she knew what was going on and begged for the charges to be dropped. If memory serves me correctly the charges couldn't be fully dropped becasue of the age difference but were pled dwon to something insignificant.

    This story smells like my buddies a lot.
    I knew a similar situation my fresh year of college. A buddy (18) got busted for banging his ex (17) during spring break. She was "late", told her mom about it and she filed charges. She was JUST late and nothing more, but he got like 2 years probation and had to register as a sex offender or some shit. Yikes!!!

    A year later (19)I was at a Dave concert at Alpine. Met this amazing girl, made out a bit and later found out she was 17. I was beyond shocked! I pretty much ran for it and thank god I asked! Yeah... Not a proud moment, but she was 2'years younger, nothing happened and she looked like she was 20. Coulda been trouble!! :shock:

    If you were 18 you would have been fine. Hellooooo Wisconsin.
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 29,003
    mca47 wrote:
    ...
    A year later (19)I was at a Dave concert at Alpine. Met this amazing girl, made out a bit and later found out she was 17. I was beyond shocked! I pretty much ran for it and thank god I asked! Yeah... Not a proud moment, but she was 2'years younger, nothing happened and she looked like she was 20. Coulda been trouble!! :shock:

    i find this most interesting. when i was 17 my boyfriend was 19. it would never have occurred to me during the entire 2 year relationship that anything we did was wrong, let alone against the law. hmmm... but then again our age of consent is 16.
    hear my name
    take a good look
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  • mca47mca47 Posts: 13,280
    Forgot to include in my story...

    My buddy and her were both their firsts when they were together. They broke up when he went to college and she became the class skank... A real "dumpster" if you know what I mean! :lol:
    Anyways, she surpassed the double digit mark in those 6 months they were apart. She was also a really sheltered child with a very religious family.
    Only when her mom found out about her relations with her ex did things happen.
    After the court battle, 6 months later she was pregnant from a boy her own age. She aborted it and lost all ties with her family.

    ...seems fair.
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 29,003
    mca47 wrote:
    Forgot to include in my story...

    My buddy and her were both their firsts when they were together. They broke up when he went to college and she became the class skank... A real "dumpster" if you know what I mean! :lol:
    Anyways, she surpassed the double digit mark in those 6 months they were apart. She was also a really sheltered child with a very religious family.
    Only when her mom found out about her relations with her ex did things happen.
    After the court battle, 6 months later she was pregnant from a boy her own age. She aborted it and lost all ties with her family.

    ...seems fair.


    which part is fair????
    hear my name
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    hold my hand
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  • mca47mca47 Posts: 13,280
    catefrances wrote:
    mca47 wrote:
    Forgot to include in my story...

    My buddy and her were both their firsts when they were together. They broke up when he went to college and she became the class skank... A real "dumpster" if you know what I mean! :lol:
    Anyways, she surpassed the double digit mark in those 6 months they were apart. She was also a really sheltered child with a very religious family.
    Only when her mom found out about her relations with her ex did things happen.
    After the court battle, 6 months later she was pregnant from a boy her own age. She aborted it and lost all ties with her family.

    ...seems fair.


    which part is fair????
    I was joking. He got the shit just for being 9 months older and it'll follow him the rest of his life. Live and learn....
  • DS1119DS1119 Posts: 33,497
    mca47 wrote:
    Forgot to include in my story...

    My buddy and her were both their firsts when they were together. They broke up when he went to college and she became the class skank... A real "dumpster" if you know what I mean! :lol:
    Anyways, she surpassed the double digit mark in those 6 months they were apart. She was also a really sheltered child with a very religious family.
    Only when her mom found out about her relations with her ex did things happen.
    After the court battle, 6 months later she was pregnant from a boy her own age. She aborted it and lost all ties with her family.

    ...seems fair.


    Sounds like she has self esteem problems...nice. :D :corn:
  • mca47mca47 Posts: 13,280
    DS1119 wrote:
    mca47 wrote:
    Forgot to include in my story...

    My buddy and her were both their firsts when they were together. They broke up when he went to college and she became the class skank... A real "dumpster" if you know what I mean! :lol:
    Anyways, she surpassed the double digit mark in those 6 months they were apart. She was also a really sheltered child with a very religious family.
    Only when her mom found out about her relations with her ex did things happen.
    After the court battle, 6 months later she was pregnant from a boy her own age. She aborted it and lost all ties with her family.

    ...seems fair.


    Sounds like she has self esteem problems...nice. :D :corn:
    I love hot chicks with self esteem problems!!!! At least those 18 and older!! :lol:
  • DS1119DS1119 Posts: 33,497
    mca47 wrote:
    I love hot chicks with self esteem problems!!!! At least those 18 and older!! :lol:


    :mrgreen: :thumbup:
  • Mamasan23Mamasan23 Posts: 16,388
    I thought this thread was going to be about Courtney Love :fp:
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  • LiLiNY81LiLiNY81 Posts: 775
    LloydXmas wrote:
    I don't know. Seems like this girl was hanging out, partying and doing other stuff that she shouldn't have been doing at 15 (not being lured). I'm not placing blame on her at all, I just think that the mother maybe got embarrassed by her daughter and sees this as a pay day.

    Hopper Jr should be aware of his surroundings.
    100% agree. What the mother fails to realize is that making this public and dragging her own daughter through the mud for the sake of some settlement money is what's going to do the most damage.
    "Now YOU listen. When we are on this ship, you are to refer to me as 'Idiot' not 'You Captain'!"
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  • LiLiNY81LiLiNY81 Posts: 775
    DS1119 wrote:
    Sounds like she has self esteem problems...nice. :D :corn:
    Or daddy issues :lol:

    But in all seriousness, I was an impressionable 15 year old girl once too...but I knew where to draw the line. You can't tell me this girl is "mature" enough to drink and do drugs, but not mature enough to know that an older guy just wants to bang her? I'm sure this wasn't her first time at the rodeo, if you know what I'm sayin'.
    "Now YOU listen. When we are on this ship, you are to refer to me as 'Idiot' not 'You Captain'!"
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  • DS1119DS1119 Posts: 33,497
    LiLiNY81 wrote:
    DS1119 wrote:
    Sounds like she has self esteem problems...nice. :D :corn:
    Or daddy issues :lol:

    But in all seriousness, I was an impressionable 15 year old girl once too...but I knew where to draw the line. You can't tell me this girl is "mature" enough to drink and do drugs, but not mature enough to know that an older guy just wants to bang her? I'm sure this wasn't her first time at the rodeo, if you know what I'm sayin'.


    Probably not. :lol: :corn:
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