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Question for the men.

stargirl69stargirl69 Posts: 6,387
edited August 2012 in All Encompassing Trip
Last week I witnessed an unprovoked vicious attack on a middle aged man at a bus stop at 7am by a young teenage girl,heavily under the influence of drugs and or alcohol.
We were both at the bus stop when the girl joined us,after a few minutes she approached the man and tried to engage him in conversation,he ignored her as he was reading a newspaper and plugged into his ipod,she aggressively came onto the guy by attempting to straddle herself onto his knee.
As he stood up and attempted to walk away from her she attacked him,leaving him with facial scratches,a bang on his head and his clothes displaced.He did not retaliate,just kept trying to get away from her while myself and others got her off him.
He was insistent he did not want the police called,but I was so freaked out by this I called the police when I got to work,they said unless the man who was attacked came forward nothing could be done.

I have asked a few men since then what they would have done in that situation and they have all said they would not report it,because

1.They would be embarrassed at admitting they had been attacked by a teenage girl.
2.They would be worried that people would assume that she was acting in self defense.

I was shocked at both these reasons as I feel how can it be ok for anyone to be minding their own business waiting on their working day to start,be attacked and accept that they feel powerless to do anything because they are a male.

Anyone? Opinions?
“There should be a place where only the things you want to happen, happen”
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • DissidentmanDissidentman Posts: 15,378
    I would agree with #2.

    I've been around long enough to know people just need to say certain words - they don't need proof...and off you go to court. Who wants that hassle?
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,408
    I think you're discounting the fact that he DID do something. He chose to walk away instead of responding with violence. He could have hit her or kicked her but he chose to be passive while under attack. That was a choice and an action because it was a choice.
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  • BinauralJamBinauralJam Posts: 14,158
    chris-brown.jpg
  • 8181 Posts: 58,276
    that's a good question....

    might have also not wanted to deal with the hassle of cops/court.....
    81 is now off the air

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  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    Dissidentman wrote:
    I would agree with #2.

    I've been around long enough to know people just need to say certain words - they don't need proof...and off you go to court. Who wants that hassle?
    justam wrote:
    I think you're discounting the fact that he DID do something. He chose to walk away instead of responding with violence. He could have hit her or kicked her but he chose to be passive while under attack. That was a choice and an action because it was a choice.

    this
  • neilybabes86neilybabes86 Posts: 16,057
    if a girl acts like a man..she gets hit like a man

    i would have no problem knocking her face in if she attacked me
    i post on the board of a band that doesn't exsist anymore .......i need my head examined.......
  • 8181 Posts: 58,276
    neilybabes86 wrote:
    if a girl acts like a man..she gets hit like a man

    i would have no problem knocking her face in if she attacked me

    i agree with this too....going back to the start, i would have chucked her off me and not felt bad.
    81 is now off the air

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  • faceinthecloudsfaceintheclouds Posts: 1,739
    Sorry to burst anyone's bubble. But that c u next Tuesday, would not have gotten off that easy with me. Not saying I'd knock her out, but there's no reason to let anyone assault you like that. Male of female. That's bs.
    Just, not enough.
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  • FrankieGFrankieG Posts: 9,100
    If this happened to me, I would not report it as long as I wasn't hurt and none of my belongings were broken.

    I wouldn't report an arguement.
    I wouldn't report a screaming match.
    I feel like this is just slightly more escalated than that and at the threshold of being reported...
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  • dimitrispearljamdimitrispearljam Posts: 139,549
    norm wrote:
    Dissidentman wrote:
    I would agree with #2.

    I've been around long enough to know people just need to say certain words - they don't need proof...and off you go to court. Who wants that hassle?
    justam wrote:
    I think you're discounting the fact that he DID do something. He chose to walk away instead of responding with violence. He could have hit her or kicked her but he chose to be passive while under attack. That was a choice and an action because it was a choice.

    this
    this..the only reason to make me kick her back will be if she touch-hurt some person i care about
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
  • Empty GlassEmpty Glass Posts: 12,329
    neilybabes86 wrote:
    if a girl acts like a man..she gets hit like a man

    i would have no problem knocking her face in if she attacked me

    It'd be the last possible straw, but I agree with this.
    I've met Rob

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  • PJFAN13PJFAN13 Posts: 1,422
    facial scratches?
    bang on the head?
    Damn, good for him - as an adult male - to recognize this young gal was under the influence of drugs, booze or just stupidity - to NOT slug her and just walk away, props to pops...
    That being said, good on you OP for removing this nutjob and handling biz...facial scratches and a bang on the head heals, court costs last a long time...
    Now if she would have broken my iPod - that's a whole other story!!!
    What is the friggin world coming to???
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  • chadwickchadwick Posts: 21,157
    i am from the no snitching school of hard knocks. i'd have walked and done as this guy done. i may have thrown/pushed her off of me.

    the two reasons some men gave you are kinda silly to me. especially reason #1. "a girl beat me up & im embarrassed, boohoo." frickin bullshit, get a fucking backbone!

    a girl/woman can be tougher than ya think especially those girls from Scotland. look who they be living with & shit
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    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

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    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • StillHereStillHere Posts: 7,795
    :clap::clap::clap:

    Most of you...Kudos!
    peace,
    jo

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  • Stardog3..Stardog3.. Posts: 1,527
    edited August 2012
    :D
    Post edited by Stardog3.. on
  • DS1119DS1119 Posts: 33,497
    I would have walked away like the guy did but I would have also called 911 on her ass and waited for the cops. Every action a person chooses to take in society has ramifications. If you choose to be out in public, fuckedup, and attacking people, you need to answer for that. What happened when the guy walked away and now the girl walks down the street and starts beating the shit out an 85 year old woman? An 11 year old boy? Maybe starts damaging someone's car?

    In my opinion if you're guilty of acting like an asshole (and I've been there :lol: ) you deserve the asshole treatment.
  • DS1119DS1119 Posts: 33,497
    Stardog3.. wrote:
    This makes me think about the double standard of physical abuse, because I think there is one. Women have no right to lay a hand on a man. Think of how many times women slap men or whatever. It's bullshit. And I'm a woman.


    Zip it or I'll smack ya.
  • stargirl69stargirl69 Posts: 6,387
    Some interesting views and opinions guys,and humour :roll: :D thanks.

    If she had gone for me,I would have definitely defended myself,I deal with unpredictable potentially aggressive behaviour daily at work and use skills to manage it,but when I'm me out in the world,I will defend myself in every way I can.

    I had to intervene and report it,I just had to,my entire moral compass was telling me I had to report it,I later got a call from the police asking for further information as a girl fitting my description had been arrested for breach of the peace soon after we got on our bus,but there had been no attack mentioned.I have asked the police to check CCTV cameras in the area as the whole event went on for about 10 minutes from when she arrived,during the attack to when we got on the bus.

    What makes me so frustrated is that I feel the belief in not reporting any attack causes society to become more and more fucked up,apathetic and complacent so the cycle begins of attack > no consequence > attack > no consequence > attack ... and so on until such a extreme attack takes place that cannot be ignored.
    “There should be a place where only the things you want to happen, happen”
  • marcosmarcos Posts: 2,112
    I think unfortunately it comes down to whether she was hot or not, as do most things in society. You simply don't see good looking people in jail.
  • JOEJOEJOEJOEJOEJOE Posts: 10,483
    I'd walk away, because who knows what sort of story the girl could have fabricated for the police.

    And who knows, perhaps the victim was on parole/probation/bail, and needed to keep out of trouble!
  • JonnyPistachioJonnyPistachio Posts: 10,217
    I think the #2 situation might arise sometimes. I was arguing with my ex-g/f once and I decided to just leave the house before it got out of hand, and she punched me in the face. I never laid a hand on her. I told her I wanted her out of my house for good or i'd call the cops. Then she said, "You really think they won't believe you abused me first?" Psycho. I never touched her once, but also, many cops will rush to judgement to side with the woman, and after her psycho comment, I decided not to call the cops of course.

    I also remember reading in some sociology class that men are actually physically abused more than women, they just don't report it. (dont know if thats really true though)

    In this situation of the OP, I probably would've just tried to get away from her too. Im kinda large, so I'd usually rather not hurt a person, because again, I look guilty by size alone. I might have tried to stop her with minimal force as long as there were witnesses to back me up. The story sounds weird though...gotta wonder if they knew each other somehow.
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  • AzWickerAzWicker Posts: 1,162
    edited July 2012
    Small single digit manipulation.

    I would have made her sit down and behave the second she put her hands on me and I would used minimual force. Then I would have called my wife to come give her a spanking. If I saw her engaging with violence onto someone else, I would have stepped in to prevent/ attempt to difusse.

    You never know when John Quinones is gonna step out with a camera.
    Post edited by AzWicker on
    Ed: 2011-07-09 2012-11-04
    PJ: 2011-09-03 2011-09-04
  • he.who.forgetshe.who.forgets Posts: 4,593
    I guess it all depends on the situation...if this girl was noticably young and under the influence I would have probably just tried to avoid her as well. That's not to say I wouldnt have protected myself...I definitely wouldnt have struck her, but I see nothing wrong with pushing or shoving just to creat distance between us. Now if this chick would have been a middle aged woman, I may have used a little more force but precaution as well. Years of drug use can create pretty thick skin and these ladies can be tough and nasty as I've witnessed first hand. My good friends mother (RIP) was a junkie and I've seen her go completely apeshit before, definitely not someone I would have messed with. Anyway, I also agree with DS that this girl in question should definitely have had to face up to some punishment of some kind but not sure if I would have wanted to go through the hassle of police and especially court. Kids will be kids, I guess...
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  • chadwickchadwick Posts: 21,157
    JOEJOEJOE wrote:
    I'd walk away, because who knows what sort of story the girl could have fabricated for the police.

    And who knows, perhaps the victim was on parole/probation/bail, and needed to keep out of trouble!
    love it! gettin folks jammed up frickin sucks even when they wanna fight. avoiding the law is the best solution here 10 times over.

    the guy did the right thing and should be awarded the key to the city, a ribbon, a badge, and a few million bucks thrown his way ;)
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • stargirl69stargirl69 Posts: 6,387
    JonnyPistachio wrote:
    I think the #2 situation might arise sometimes. I was arguing with my ex-g/f once and I decided to just leave the house before it got out of hand, and she punched me in the face. I never laid a hand on her. I told her I wanted her out of my house for good or i'd call the cops. Then she said, "You really think they won't believe you abused me first?" Psycho. I never touched her once, but also, many cops will rush to judgement to side with the woman, and after her psycho comment, I decided not to call the cops of course.

    I also remember reading in some sociology class that men are actually physically abused more than women, they just don't report it. (dont know if thats really true though)

    In this situation of the OP, I probably would've just tried to get away from her too. Im kinda large, so I'd usually rather not hurt a person, because again, I look guilty by size alone. I might have tried to stop her with minimal force as long as there were witnesses to back me up. The story sounds weird though...gotta wonder if they knew each other somehow.

    Nope I never for one minute got the impression that they knew each other,she was utterly wasted out of it,she looked like she had been gang banging all night :?
    She was pissed that the guy wasn't picking up on her advances towards him,prior to sliding up his knee she was in his face asking him if he liked her,when he tried to walk away she just went mental,screaming at him,asking why he didn't like her :? why he was being 'cruel and ignorant' to her,as he continued to back away that was when she became physically violent as well as continuing to be verbally violent.

    Yes the stats for men being assaulted by woman are very high,not quite as high for women in Scotland anyway but still very high and rarely spoken about.
    “There should be a place where only the things you want to happen, happen”
  • chadwickchadwick Posts: 21,157
    statgirl69, i also forgot to give you credit for steppin up and helping out. good on you for helping the dude out. you helped both from hurting one another anymore than what could have went down. nicely done
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • DS1119DS1119 Posts: 33,497
    stargirl69 wrote:
    she looked like she had been gang banging all night


    Really? Pics? :corn:
  • stargirl69stargirl69 Posts: 6,387
    DS1119 wrote:
    stargirl69 wrote:
    she looked like she had been gang banging all night


    Really? Pics? :corn:

    Oh believe me DS she was not any kind of a sight to get excited about.It was really alarming to see such a young girl dressed the way she was and behaving the way she was at that time in the morning :?
    “There should be a place where only the things you want to happen, happen”
  • DS1119DS1119 Posts: 33,497
    stargirl69 wrote:
    DS1119 wrote:
    stargirl69 wrote:
    she looked like she had been gang banging all night


    Really? Pics? :corn:

    Oh believe me DS she was not any kind of a sight to get excited about.It was really alarming to see such a young girl dressed the way she was and behaving the way she was at that time in the morning :?


    I specialize in cutting weak ones out of the herd. :lol:
  • dimitrispearljamdimitrispearljam Posts: 139,549
    i still believe the guy did the right thing..what if after he push her back,ot kick her,she put put a knife,a gun?
    what if?,what if??alot of them out there...
    walk away as soon as possible is the best way,you dont get-win anything if u attack back to someone has nothing to loose..
    the guy want at night to go sleep with his wife and kiss goodnight his children..he made the right call..
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
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