thanks, i know she always wants to change the subject when i try to reason with her...but, i think that book might help?? amazon.com here i come
It may help her and maybe you. You are in a tough spot because you are trying to help her deal with someone with these issues - that is what I am up against when I try to help my sons - I was able to leave, they did not, they live with her part time. A book like that can at least give you some insight into why he behaves certain ways. It is certainly a mental illness and you can't reason with someone like that in a 'normal' way.
thanks Rick. here is another email from the moron, now he's calling her fat:
Fuck, you got it too! It's not about fault but reaction to action. Life is a two way street with lights. If you see all in black or white, you can't see green,red,yellow then WE crash. The weight and eating is filling the "loathe" and weight is decaying her body (knee, crohns flare) from the binge eating. You can see I'm not spitefull and SCREAMING for recognition to the physical being and actions that develop from ignorance of the problem at hand (BPD). Alyssa has it too and as you research Millons thesis, you will see! It's worth change because you do have the rest of your life to make the best of it! Thanks for caring, sincerely!!
a sample of the craziness that is my borther-in-law. can anyone interpret this?:
This is the best birthday present I can give you. Please protect yourself from gettting "sucked in"!!
I have been trying to create a "hospice" enviornment with no fighting. A good parent/spouse would embrace this behavior as a tide of change.
Julia is resisting and I see a "black & white" world crumbling everyday as I sort the pieces to this puzzle. My 13 years of marriage, these traits I've observed. You will see them in reflection as you enable thier behavior which hurts yourself. She is not walking on eggshells with me, but with in herself inside her heart from selfish acts that plague her. It is hard to please the unpleasant, especially if the thirst can't be quenched no matter how big the cup!!(always steals your drink, I always "go large" LOL!)
Please move on in your life with caution of these traits that may be imbedded in you. Believe it or not, getting hit at AYSO was the best thing to happen to me!! I was able to show my evolution as a human by handling things properly and reflecting on the behavior of others tearing the family apart. I have to repair the time in which the children viewed my depression and mistakes revolving around it. I try to leave and a monumental fuck up brings me back into the family. A co-worker lost his best friend + the guys son from suicide due to this behavior. Alyssa is on the edge, although I have been coping better after the identification. I need to work on controlling the environment to identify traits to repair.
Now good luck and I will continue to work with the queen witch!!!
a sample of the craziness that is my borther-in-law. can anyone interpret this?:
This is the best birthday present I can give you. Please protect yourself from gettting "sucked in"!!
I have been trying to create a "hospice" enviornment with no fighting. A good parent/spouse would embrace this behavior as a tide of change.
Julia is resisting and I see a "black & white" world crumbling everyday as I sort the pieces to this puzzle. My 13 years of marriage, these traits I've observed. You will see them in reflection as you enable thier behavior which hurts yourself. She is not walking on eggshells with me, but with in herself inside her heart from selfish acts that plague her. It is hard to please the unpleasant, especially if the thirst can't be quenched no matter how big the cup!!(always steals your drink, I always "go large" LOL!)
Please move on in your life with caution of these traits that may be imbedded in you. Believe it or not, getting hit at AYSO was the best thing to happen to me!! I was able to show my evolution as a human by handling things properly and reflecting on the behavior of others tearing the family apart. I have to repair the time in which the children viewed my depression and mistakes revolving around it. I try to leave and a monumental fuck up brings me back into the family. A co-worker lost his best friend + the guys son from suicide due to this behavior. Alyssa is on the edge, although I have been coping better after the identification. I need to work on controlling the environment to identify traits to repair.
Now good luck and I will continue to work with the queen witch!!!
and 81, no, i havent told him to stop sending crazy emails. should i?
if i was getting them, i'd tell him to stop sending the crazy talk. actually, i might make a rule to send it directly to the trash bin, or at least label the email address as spam so i don't have to see it.
and 81, no, i havent told him to stop sending crazy emails. should i?
if i was getting them, i'd tell him to stop sending the crazy talk. actually, i might make a rule to send it directly to the trash bin, or at least label the email address as spam so i don't have to see it.
now, he thinks I have BPD:
Yeah, you show some signs. I am trying to stop it from passing on. I feel like a fool from bad reactions to someone who is clueless to the actions. I should have known better. Its hard coping w/stress of BPD + working, emptyness isolation to prevent another bomb to drop. I have been being human instead of hero. I have to be their hero!
thanks Rick. here is another email from the moron, now he's calling her fat:
Fuck, you got it too! It's not about fault but reaction to action. Life is a two way street with lights. If you see all in black or white, you can't see green,red,yellow then WE crash. The weight and eating is filling the "loathe" and weight is decaying her body (knee, crohns flare) from the binge eating. You can see I'm not spitefull and SCREAMING for recognition to the physical being and actions that develop from ignorance of the problem at hand (BPD). Alyssa has it too and as you research Millons thesis, you will see! It's worth change because you do have the rest of your life to make the best of it! Thanks for caring, sincerely!!
yep. sounds so similar. after listening to all the crap like that, here's me: "ok, so I'll ask again, what time should I pick him up? that's all I want to know"
and 81, no, i havent told him to stop sending crazy emails. should i?
Do you see in the message how he is blaming everyone but himself. He adds the guilt trip for your sister in there too. It's total selfishness. He wants to make her blame herself for everything "he" does so he can continue without ever taking responsibility. I know it's going to take more time but has your sister realized since being away from him how much better she feels. Tell her to imagine what her life will be like a year from now when she's not with him anymore. It's going to be so much better.
and 81, no, i havent told him to stop sending crazy emails. should i?
if i was getting them, i'd tell him to stop sending the crazy talk. actually, i might make a rule to send it directly to the trash bin, or at least label the email address as spam so i don't have to see it.
Have them automatically be moved to a folder saved, named: restrainingorderevidence.
and 81, no, i havent told him to stop sending crazy emails. should i?
if i was getting them, i'd tell him to stop sending the crazy talk. actually, i might make a rule to send it directly to the trash bin, or at least label the email address as spam so i don't have to see it.
Have them automatically be moved to a folder saved, named: restrainingorderevidence.[/quote]
BPD, I assume he is referring to Bi-Polar Disorder...is he saying your sis suffers from that?
He seems to have developed into an armchair psychologist with all the answers.
i have no idea, i think he thinks he's a PhD because he's read somethings on the internet.
BPD is Borderline Personality Disorder from the link posted, the subject of the book series I think.
I'm not sure what I was expecting but he is much more well written /creative
than I was expecting. A real head type of dude.
This past weekend, I witnessed my brother in-law feed my 13 year old niece a one-hitter of weed and a rum smoothie. His rationalization is that is helps her stop cutting and have suicidal thoughts. I said BS, counseling will do that and why is she cutting in the first place, bc of you!
This is child endangerment and aafter asking advice of a few trusted friends, I WILL file a police report on him. Also, my sister is equally to blame bc she allows this to happen. Alyssa may be screwed but there is still hope for my 2 younger nieces.
I also found out this past march that DCFS was called a second time. Here is what happened according to a mutual friend:
"I guess what happened was that Alyssa went to a function there at SJB (her school) and was saying something about how she smokes (both weed and cigs!!!) and drinks and I guess that her friend told her mom who in turn called DCFS. I guess they were chilling at home and they showed up at their door. Ju and Bry already had Alyssa set up to seek help so that "let them off the hook."
Comments
thanks Rick. here is another email from the moron, now he's calling her fat:
Fuck, you got it too! It's not about fault but reaction to action. Life is a two way street with lights. If you see all in black or white, you can't see green,red,yellow then WE crash. The weight and eating is filling the "loathe" and weight is decaying her body (knee, crohns flare) from the binge eating. You can see I'm not spitefull and SCREAMING for recognition to the physical being and actions that develop from ignorance of the problem at hand (BPD). Alyssa has it too and as you research Millons thesis, you will see! It's worth change because you do have the rest of your life to make the best of it! Thanks for caring, sincerely!!
He seems to have developed into an armchair psychologist with all the answers.
i have no idea, i think he thinks he's a PhD because he's read somethings on the internet.
want to be enlightened"
he did write that
and 81, no, i havent told him to stop sending crazy emails. should i?
if i was getting them, i'd tell him to stop sending the crazy talk. actually, i might make a rule to send it directly to the trash bin, or at least label the email address as spam so i don't have to see it.
now, he thinks I have BPD:
Yeah, you show some signs. I am trying to stop it from passing on. I feel like a fool from bad reactions to someone who is clueless to the actions. I should have known better. Its hard coping w/stress of BPD + working, emptyness isolation to prevent another bomb to drop. I have been being human instead of hero. I have to be their hero!
dude needs to be commited
yep. sounds so similar. after listening to all the crap like that, here's me: "ok, so I'll ask again, what time should I pick him up? that's all I want to know"
want to be enlightened"
want to be enlightened"
better yet, this guy and my ex, put them in a room together and the four (or more) of them can have a nice time together
done.
BPD is Borderline Personality Disorder from the link posted, the subject of the book series I think.
I'm not sure what I was expecting but he is much more well written /creative
than I was expecting. A real head type of dude.
This is child endangerment and aafter asking advice of a few trusted friends, I WILL file a police report on him. Also, my sister is equally to blame bc she allows this to happen. Alyssa may be screwed but there is still hope for my 2 younger nieces.
I also found out this past march that DCFS was called a second time. Here is what happened according to a mutual friend:
"I guess what happened was that Alyssa went to a function there at SJB (her school) and was saying something about how she smokes (both weed and cigs!!!) and drinks and I guess that her friend told her mom who in turn called DCFS. I guess they were chilling at home and they showed up at their door. Ju and Bry already had Alyssa set up to seek help so that "let them off the hook."
To the OP...jesus fucking christ, I hope that kid gets the help she needs, and quickly. All of them.