He fed my 13 year old niece weed and booze

ZiggyStar

davidtrios wrote:

My lucky sister ended up marrying an undiagnosed bi-polar/manic depressive who won't seek help. He's also a cocaine abuser that physically emotionally and verbally destorys her and her 3 daughters. I sometimes see bruises on their faces or hear them lashing out for no reason, but everything came to a boiling point last Sunday.

For the longest time (3+ years), he was enemployed. Stayed up all night working on his buddies' bikes, cars, etc- getting high on weed and coke. All the while collecting unemployment...until that ran out.

In the spring, she threatened to leave him if he didnt land a steady job....and he did. Now that he made a few bucks, he asked her permission to buy another motorcycle. She put her foot down and said no. Then, he snapped.

I don't know the details but I do know he ended up going to the hosp. to get stitches on his cracked skull.Out of craziness/anger/irresponsibile frustration, he slammed his stupid head on their kitchen glass table- in front of the 3 girls.

See, for the longest time while not working, he was supposed to work from home- buy beat up bikes, fix them and sell them for a profit. Since I haven't talked to the SOB in 3 years, I guess he wasn't really doing that. He was just collecting them, maybe occasionally selling them for weed and or coke.

Anyway, the night he went off on himself, Julia was so scared for her and the kids, she spent the night in my house. She asured me that he was moving out by last Friday, but he never did. I guess they talked things out.

So, if my sister doesn't love them enough to keep her children safe in their own home, I did something about it. This has been pattern of horrible behavior by him for years and I filed a report this morning. He's not a good provider, he's not a good husband, he's a horrible father...and he's crazy. My sis is obviously not protecting her girls. so i will.
..

No offence....but your sister needs to grow the fuck up and think of her kids....and herself. Another
'victim' story. Wtf is wrong with chicks? Stand up for yourself!! Stop dealing with cockheads and accepting shit lifestyles!! :x At least he has an 'excuse' (bipolar or whatever). These horrible situations are happening in front of your sister's kids....by CHOICE?! She could have left him! No one stopped her! She's an idiot!

I'm sure people will disagree with me....but I think some mothers are to blame as well in situations like this. Guy acting like a complete fuckhead multiple times = leave. Don't threaten to kick him out over and over, fight it out in front of the kids, wait for dramatic events to eventuate etc.....just fucking leave.

I'd never put up with this shit for myself....bring my (future) kids into it and it's war. Hell, if you fucked with my dogs I'd seriously hurt you (and want to kill you). And I'm not kidding. Don't know how people put up with this abuse for themselves and their kids.

Some women are so weak..........makes me sick..........I absolutely DO NOT understand!

pandora

Co dependency and the children are caught helpless in the middle ...

tough call

hope you did the right thing

davidtrios

So when DCFS takes your sisters children, and throws them in a foster home, and your sister is screaming bloody murder, wishing YOU had maybe minded your own business, or maybe tried another solution before getting DCFS invloved, be sure to give us an update. When your nieces refer to you years from now as "Uncle David, the uncle we havent talked to in 20 years because he had DCFS tear apart our family".......When your brother in law comes home in the next few days, and wants to rip your head off....

Please be sure to give us updates....

Im not saying what you did was right or wrong...
Im just saying I might have gone about this in a different way....

Because I think YOUR LIFE is about to get real ugly....
I may be wrong...

I'd rather see them go a better home than be in that situation. I may look like the bad guy, but the toughest decisions are sometimes the right ones. If DCFS gives her an ultimatum, maybe this will be a wake up call to finally leave that scum.

And If that rat bastard comes at me, so be it.

Pamela0222

I'm not sure what to even say to this.... You had all the right intentions in the world cause you love your family, I just hope it all works out for you guys in the end.

Sending your family positive vibes!

davidtrios

No offence....but your sister needs to grow the fuck up and think of her kids....and herself. Another
'victim' story. Wtf is wrong with chicks? Stand up for yourself!! Stop dealing with cockheads and accepting shit lifestyles!! At least he has an 'excuse' (bipolar or whatever). These horrible situations are happening in front of your sister's kids....by CHOICE?! She could have left him! No one stopped her! She's an idiot!

I'm sure people will disagree with me....but I think some mothers are to blame as well in situations like this. Guy acting like a complete fuckhead multiple times = leave. Don't threaten to kick him out over and over, fight it out in front of the kids, wait for dramatic events to eventuate etc.....just fucking leave.

I'd never put up with this shit for myself....bring my (future) kids into it and it's war. Hell, if you fucked with my dogs I'd seriously hurt you (and want to kill you). And I'm not kidding. Don't know how people put up with this abuse for themselves and their kids.

Some women are so weak..........makes me sick..........I absolutely DO NOT understand!

She IS weak. It's been going on for too long. The asshole brings nothing but destruction to that family and she never does a damn thing about it. I really hope this helps.

mikalina

I'm wishing your sister all the best in the world... She needs to get the hell out of that roller coaster bullshit for her sake as well as her children. Your sister is in a mental abusive relationship. If her husband is a coke addict, she needs to get out quick.

Its sad but true - women will stick around hoping that things will change and get better but they never do. Women can be "weak"- its time she puts an end to it.....

Mamasan23

It's easy to judge another person when you haven't been in their shoes. That's all I'll say about that.

bionicamy

I know you are acting out of love for your sister and her children. I wish you all the best... Love and safety too.

Here is an interesting article on Marital Violence


http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles ... l-violence

Ms. Haiku

It sounds like a very difficult, frustrating, and sad situation. I hope the best for you and your family.

davidtrios

"you are not my brother anymore, you are not their uncle"
"dont care, i stand by this decision. enough is enough"

DS1119

davidtrios wrote:

"you are not my brother anymore, you are not their uncle"
"dont care, i stand by this decision. enough is enough"

Wow. Was that her message to you?

davidtrios

DS1119 wrote:

davidtrios wrote:

"you are not my brother anymore, you are not their uncle"
"dont care, i stand by this decision. enough is enough"

Wow. Was that her message to you?

the first message was from her...i replied

she keeps asks asking me to fix this.

DS1119

davidtrios wrote:

DS1119 wrote:

davidtrios wrote:

"you are not my brother anymore, you are not their uncle"
"dont care, i stand by this decision. enough is enough"

Wow. Was that her message to you?

the first message was from her...i replied

she keeps asks asking me to fix this.

I don't have a sister or other family member in this situation to even offer any advice. I guess all I can say is you got the authorities involved and now let the professionals sort it out. I'm sure you're not in an easy or comfortable position but you feel you did the right thing and the right way will sort it self out. Best of luck for you and your sister.

hedonist

SPEEDY MCCREADY wrote:

So when DCFS takes your sisters children, and throws them in a foster home, and your sister is screaming bloody murder, wishing YOU had maybe minded your own business, or maybe tried another solution before getting DCFS invloved, be sure to give us an update. When your nieces refer to you years from now as "Uncle David, the uncle we havent talked to in 20 years because he had DCFS tear apart our family".......When your brother in law comes home in the next few days, and wants to rip your head off....

Or maybe down the road, his neices will refer to him as the uncle who tried to - and hopefully did - bring some peace into their lives. How many people in similar situations don't have someone - ONE person - willing to take action on their behalf?

Doesn't seem to me like this was done without forethought.

Doing the right thing isn't always easy and oftentimes has repercussions. Doesn't make it the wrong thing, though.

Carey

Mamasan23 wrote:

It's easy to judge another person when you haven't been in their shoes. That's all I'll say about that.

This....and I will add, you have to look out for the children. "You" being anyone who witnesses something that could seriously harm them.

mfc2006

davidtrios wrote:

"you are not my brother anymore, you are not their uncle"
"dont care, i stand by this decision. enough is enough"

Stay strong, man. Wishing you all nothing but the best.

comebackgirl

What a difficult situation to face. Good luck to you, your sister and her kids. I hope her husband gets the help he needs as well. I think you did the right thing. You have to make it your business if there's a chance those kids are being abused, and chances are that what you don't know is much worse than what you do know. Unfortunately DCFS doesn't always make situations like these any better for the kids or the victimized partner, but I don't really think you had a choice. Hopefully this will be a starting point for more support. I don't think it's about your sister being weak. Survivors are some of the strongest people I know, but while being victimized there's often a systematic pattern of abuse that leads them to believe they are responsible for the abuser's every mood, emotion and behavior. They think they can and should control it, but they can't. The brainwashing that happens in abusive relationships is pretty powerful. The most dangerous time for a victim is when s/he leaves an abusive relationship. That's the time when they and the kids are most likely to be killed, so sometimes they stay in order to protect the kids. They know how to negotiate things within the relationship, but once they leave, all bets are off. I don't know enough about your sister's situation to know if any of this is relevant, but I'm sure there' are many layers to it. I hope everyone stays safe.

iamica

You did the right thing. I wish that someone in my extended family had done that when I was growing up and my dad was abusing us. Maybe it would have been a wake up call for him.
I'm sorry this is happening to your family. That guy needs to be a man and pull himself together, for the sake of his wife and kids.

pandora

davidtrios wrote:

"you are not my brother anymore, you are not their uncle"
"dont care, i stand by this decision. enough is enough"

Who didn't see this coming? this is classic ...
Her and her daughters lives just got that much tougher with the authorities involved.
She could be deemed unfit as well and perhaps rightfully so, not knowing for sure
if the girls are being abused. This is family dysfunction and codependency
with illegal drugs involved, she could be found unfit due to endangerment.

Will another family member step up to take the girls? Will you?

Time will tell if you made the right call,
there is right then there is right.

It is she who must make the right call, maybe your wake up call will help this,
I hope so very much.
It is better to be alone then unhappy but that is not the nature of many.

chadwick

:evil: i know some people (not including myself of course) who could have a talk with dumbass :evil:

first off it has been going on long enough. secondly, why isn't the dude wearing a cast already?
fuck being nice. he's a nasty mean bastard who is an abusive piece of trash who shouldn't have all his teeth. his lifestyle sucks. everything about him sucks. your sister is brainwashed like it always is in these situations.

she and the kids should leave and hide from him. he should get help and he should be healing busted nose and ribs

just becareful.