So....my Mom's gonna die soon.....

STAYSEA

Op
Every one must die.
I have been with many.
You need to be there always. Listen to every word she can painfully bear to say.
Dying is bliss.
You will miss her, but she won't be suffering anymore. Think of Peace.
You won't forget her, She will always think of you.

Death is very normal.
Cancer is painful, don't expect too much. It's hard to breathe.

It was a good life, right? Remember the happy times!

Peaces.

STAYSEA

Fifthelement wrote:

((((hugs)))) I, too, am sorry to hear this Sawyer. You, your mother and all your family are in my thoughts.

I think JOEJOEJOE's advice is great. Wishing you peace and strength in this difficult time.

P.S. PJTrekGirl - check your PMs

JOEJOEJOE wrote:

Sawyer, this post contains many facts regarding death, so if you are not in the mindset to deal with the difficult reality of your situation, you may not want to continue reading.

I recently went thru this.

My goal was to lessen any regrets I might have had when the time came for my dad to pass-away.

Spend as much time with her as possible. If you aren't good at expressing feelings towards her, silent gestures, such as holding her hand, speak volumes. My dad loved looking at photo albums duriong his final few months.

Don't try to be a martyr....everyone needs to do their part in this situation. If there is any friction btw family members, don't work it out via anger.

Familiarize yourself with the post-death process. It may make things easier to know what to expect when the sad event occurs. I educated myself on the signs of imminent death, and I called the funeral home when we knew the time was short.

The hospice service usually sends out a specialized nurse when they see that the end is near. He/she will be the one to call the hospice doctor regarding the death certificate. The hospice may also send over a social worker to help confort your family.

Make sure you know of your mom's funeral/burial wishes, and if possible, do some pre-planning with the funeral home. Hopefully, this will lessen the load when the time comes.

Finally, be very kind to the hospice staff. They are only human. and their goal is to make you mom as comfortable as possible. They won't have the same emotional attachment to the situation as you and your family.

Also, try to stay positive..this is no time to expend energy on being negative. Not everyone in the world will show you sympathy.

Almost text book?

Sprunkn7

Try to spend as much time as possible with her, try to be kind to her and your family and yourself. Cancer is so hard to handle in so many ways. We are always here for you to talk and vent with, that is apparent.

Hugs and best wishes for you..

JOEJOEJOE

STAYSEA wrote:

Fifthelement wrote:

((((hugs)))) I, too, am sorry to hear this Sawyer. You, your mother and all your family are in my thoughts.

I think JOEJOEJOE's advice is great. Wishing you peace and strength in this difficult time.

P.S. PJTrekGirl - check your PMs

JOEJOEJOE wrote:

Sawyer, this post contains many facts regarding death, so if you are not in the mindset to deal with the difficult reality of your situation, you may not want to continue reading.

I recently went thru this.

My goal was to lessen any regrets I might have had when the time came for my dad to pass-away.

Spend as much time with her as possible. If you aren't good at expressing feelings towards her, silent gestures, such as holding her hand, speak volumes. My dad loved looking at photo albums duriong his final few months.

Don't try to be a martyr....everyone needs to do their part in this situation. If there is any friction btw family members, don't work it out via anger.

Familiarize yourself with the post-death process. It may make things easier to know what to expect when the sad event occurs. I educated myself on the signs of imminent death, and I called the funeral home when we knew the time was short.

The hospice service usually sends out a specialized nurse when they see that the end is near. He/she will be the one to call the hospice doctor regarding the death certificate. The hospice may also send over a social worker to help confort your family.

Make sure you know of your mom's funeral/burial wishes, and if possible, do some pre-planning with the funeral home. Hopefully, this will lessen the load when the time comes.

Finally, be very kind to the hospice staff. They are only human. and their goal is to make you mom as comfortable as possible. They won't have the same emotional attachment to the situation as you and your family.

Also, try to stay positive..this is no time to expend energy on being negative. Not everyone in the world will show you sympathy.

Almost text book?

Yep....even though it was an emotional situation, I used some logic to get me through.

Sawyer

JOEJOEJOE....almost exactly what were doing to a 'T'......thank you every one for your thoughts

neilybabes86

my heart breaks..so sorry ....may you stay strong during these tough times


an older neighbor of mine just found out the same situation...terrible :(

JOEJOEJOE

Sawyer wrote:

JOEJOEJOE....almost exactly what were doing to a 'T'......thank you every one for your thoughts

cool.

and never underestimate good or bad karma.

yellowwho

Sawyer, I can't imagine what your going through but just wanted to let you know that you and your family are in my thoughts.

stipe19

Peace and love to you and your family

CAVSTARR313

alright, I will post..

My dad died in August of 2009 of liver cancer..
He was my rock. The best man I have ever known.
He loved unconditionally, He didn't speak much..
But, when he spoke we all listened..

he had melanoma in his left eye
they removed his left eye in 2005 and warned that the cancer could move to other spots in his body.
especially spots that involved lots of blood.. the liver, the brain, etc.
they told us that after 5 or so years, he may just be in the clear..
after negative quarterly blood tests every year, in June of 2009 he started having pains in his side..
They diagnosed liver cancer, the biggest cancer spot on his liver being just over 4 inches long..
he passed two months later, being the worst two months I have ever seen..

I would gladly give my life to find a cure for cancer.. so nobody ever has to see what I have seen.. and so nobody has to die how this good man had died.. It was truly horrible..

god bless you and your family..

Loulou

As someone who is very close to their Mum, this makes me so sad. So sorry you have to go through this.

Sugar-Magnolia

My thoughts have been with you today Sawyer.

Peace

Loulou

Caveeze, sorry to hear about your Dad too, big hugs to anyone on this thread that have also lost loved ones.

MissJam81

Look after yourself and take one day at the time..... my thoughts are with you and your family

ZiggyStar

Loulou wrote:

As someone who is very close to their Mum, this makes me so sad. So sorry you have to go through this.

I agree....so so sad for me to even think about the possibility of losing either of my parents....I'm very close to them both.

Poor Sawyer. :(

Black Diamond

I lost my dad when he was 47 (2 years away from my own age, which is crazy)...

30 years later, there is still a hole, but I have such warmth of the love I got, even today, that I feel lucky to have gotten 16 years with him...

My oldest has his name and his looks... Always makes me smile...

I am so sorry you are going through this... And I hope you mother suffers as little as possible...

Feel free to reach out if it would help.

Adam

Leezestarr313

Sorry to hear that, Sawyer. My thoughts are with you. Stay strong during these hard times, and also take care of yourself.

Heisenberg

sorry to hear this Sawyer.

afroannnie

Sorry to hear that you're going through this Sawyer. When I was in college, my stepdad had a massive heart attack..he wasn't even 40 yet...we were lucky that when he had it he was with a client (he's a CPA) and not on the road..we came very close to losing him. Since then he has had continued issues with his heart and last summer he had to have open heart surgery..he made it through ok, but he's only 55...and he's already had 2 open heart surgeries and countless stint procedures. The only good thing that has come out of this, is that my family doesn't take each other for granted...we hug and say "i love you" often.
I can't imagine how painful this is for you, but use this time to love and care for her as much as you can.

Hugs to everyone that has lost a parent..I can't imagine losing one, especially so young.

Asterisk on the Street

I am so sorry to read this, Sawyer. :( My heart goes out to you, your mom and your family. JOEJOEJOE and many others have given very good advice here. Hugs to you.