So....my Mom's gonna die soon.....

Leyna Minai

Very sorry to hear this Sawyer, I wish the best for you and your family.

dcfaithful

So terribly sorry to hear this Sawyer. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Stay strong, you will get through it.

the wolf

Sawyer, first Id liike to say how sorry I am.

My mom died at age 58. It wasn't sudden, it was drawn out for years.
I agree with others, make the best of the time you have. Do what you have to do to have no regrets.

I also agree with mickey, deal with it while fresh, delaying will only make it worse. I shut down to an extent, and to this day have issues because of it, and she died in 98. I made the same mistake in 06 when dad died.

Get it out, deal with it however you need to, excluding chemicals to numb yourself.

Hang in there, and if you ever need to chat, you know where to find me.

Steve

eeriepadave

not sure what to say that hasn't been said, but my thoughts are with you through these hard times :(

Beck..

Sorry to hear that Sawyer,all the best to you and your family.

Brisk.

:( so sorry to hear this 'Sawyer'.

I always used this line to help me with death - "I know I was born and I'll know that I'll die but the in between is mine"

perfectlefts14

So sorry to hear this Sawyer. All you can do is stay strong and enjoy what time you have left with her. I wish the best for you and your family during these tough times.

PKTrekGirl

My mom died a few weeks ago (Feb 26), and it was horrible.

I didn't post it on here because, frankly, I didn't think I'd get any responses in a thread, since I don't have many friends here...and that would have made me feel even worse and more depressed. But yeah...it was horrible.

In my case, I was far away and that might have made it easier though. I live in Alaska and my brother (who still lives in South Florida, where I am originally from) ended up having to do all the work. Fortunately, one of my cousins whose mom died only last year in the same city, happened to be on vacation in Florida at the time my mother passed away...and was able to help my brother out. I couldn't even go to the funeral - I've had a tough couple of years of unemployment and am only now starting to really dig out. So a plane ticket to Florida (around the time of spring break, no less!) on short notice was WAY outside my price range. :( I'm not sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing....because I guess it's allowed me to remain in denial. I still have not deleted my mother's phone number from my cell phone. :(

I think each of us handles and copes with these things differently. And even differently between parents, depending upon our relationship with them. My father died many years ago...and I am finding my response this time to be very different.

My advice is to just let yourself feel what you feel. I think the best way to get through it is to just allow yourself to process the thing in the way you have to. And don't expect your siblings to deal with it the same way as you. Everyone is different...and some grieve more publicly...others more in private. Some grieve up front...and some take months (or even years) to process the event. When my father died, I went into denial for 6 months and couldn't even look at his casket at the funeral...I didn't cry because I simply pretended it wasn't happening. But 6 months later? I was a complete wreck.

I know that this is tough...and there is nothing I or anyone else can say to make it better or prevent it from happening. All I can say is that I get what you are going through...and am sending good karma your way.

Peace.

Halifax2TheMax

My advice is to just let yourself feel what you feel. I think the best way to get through it is to just allow yourself to process the thing in the way you have to. And don't expect your siblings to deal with it the same way as you. Everyone is different...and some grieve more publicly...others more in private. Some grieve up front...and some take months (or even years) to process the event. When my father died, I went into denial for 6 months and couldn't even look at his casket at the funeral...I didn't cry because I simply pretended it wasn't happening. But 6 months later? I was a complete wreck.

I know that this is tough...and there is nothing I or anyone else can say to make it better or prevent it from happening. All I can say is that I get what you are going through...and am sending good karma your way.

Peace.

Sawyer,

I don't know how to quote just portions of someone's previous post so I stole this from PKTrekGirl because to me, it sounds like sound advice. Feel what you feel and know that at some point you'll be stronger for having gone through what you did. Not very comforting I know. I'm sorry this is happening and I'll keep you in my thoughts. Hang in there.

Peace.

Stardog3..

Really sorry to hear this. Stay strong. Positive vibes heading your way.

iamica

I'm so sorry, Sawyer. The only advice that I can give you is to spend as much time as possible with her, right now. I lost my grandma and a few friends over the past few years, some very suddenly. The number one thing that I regret with all of them is that I didn't get a chance to say a proper goodbye. If you have something to say to her, say it now. Tell her you love her. Don't leave anything unsaid. And cherish the time that you have left.

Enkidu

iamica wrote:

I'm so sorry, Sawyer. The only advice that I can give you is to spend as much time as possible with her, right now. I lost my grandma and a few friends over the past few years, some very suddenly. The number one thing that I regret with all of them is that I didn't get a chance to say a proper goodbye. If you have something to say to her, say it now. Tell her you love her. Don't leave anything unsaid. And cherish the time that you have left.

This is exactly what I was going to say. I can't say it better.

My dad died suddenly, I didn't get to say goodbye. My mom died after a short illness - those last two months I felt so close to her and I still treasure that time and all the conversations we had.

Good luck to you and your family.

Ayedavanita

Sawyer wrote:

Claireack wrote:

So sorry to hear this. I have no wise words of wisdom. But I'm sending hugs your way.

thank you....only 57......healthy as can be.......just staggering....and I got SHINGLES from the stress..life is good

Sawyer, I am so very sorry. Shingles are VERY painful on top of the grief you must be feeling. I wish I had some words of strength but I don't know anything that I could say to help. Please know you are in my thoughts and if there is anything you need, I am here, as we all are.

Fifthelement

((((hugs)))) I, too, am sorry to hear this Sawyer. You, your mother and all your family are in my thoughts.

I think JOEJOEJOE's advice is great. Wishing you peace and strength in this difficult time.

P.S. PJTrekGirl - check your PMs

JOEJOEJOE wrote:

Sawyer, this post contains many facts regarding death, so if you are not in the mindset to deal with the difficult reality of your situation, you may not want to continue reading.

I recently went thru this.

My goal was to lessen any regrets I might have had when the time came for my dad to pass-away.

Spend as much time with her as possible. If you aren't good at expressing feelings towards her, silent gestures, such as holding her hand, speak volumes. My dad loved looking at photo albums duriong his final few months.

Don't try to be a martyr....everyone needs to do their part in this situation. If there is any friction btw family members, don't work it out via anger.

Familiarize yourself with the post-death process. It may make things easier to know what to expect when the sad event occurs. I educated myself on the signs of imminent death, and I called the funeral home when we knew the time was short.

The hospice service usually sends out a specialized nurse when they see that the end is near. He/she will be the one to call the hospice doctor regarding the death certificate. The hospice may also send over a social worker to help confort your family.

Make sure you know of your mom's funeral/burial wishes, and if possible, do some pre-planning with the funeral home. Hopefully, this will lessen the load when the time comes.

Finally, be very kind to the hospice staff. They are only human. and their goal is to make you mom as comfortable as possible. They won't have the same emotional attachment to the situation as you and your family.

Also, try to stay positive..this is no time to expend energy on being negative. Not everyone in the world will show you sympathy.

loolooloo

Hugs, hugs, and more hugs to you and your family. Cherish your time together, and take care of yourself as well.

meme

I haven't had to go through this yet, but I know I would be devastated. You got some good advice up there. Do know that we are here for you if you need to vent...

Constant Recoil...

I am very sorry for Sawyer. I'll be thinking of you and your family.

Sugar-Magnolia

There are no words anyone can give to lessen the pain you and your family are going through, and will go through. There will be a day when you can see the world a little brighter, but take your grief in your own time.
My mom passed very suddenly and unexpectedly at 46 a little more than a year ago, and I'm still reeling from the loss. My advice? Take others up on offers to help you with anything; lighten your load and focus on the time you are lucky enough to have together.
Peace from Iowa

PKTrekGirl

^ Oh my goodness! That must have been like a nightmare! 46??? I can't even imagine! That's like, *gulp* about my age!!! GAH!!!!

That must have been so hard for you! And I don't blame you at all for still being in sort of a state of shock. I think that I would be also, in your shoes. Stuff like that is not supposed to happen, you know? :(

Please accept a dose of good karma from me - that must have been a tragic loss for your entire family.... :(

lukin2006

You and your family have my best wishes...stay strong and enjoy your time together.

Cancer is bitch...just this past week my cousins 18 year old son has been diagnosed with leukemia and will need a bone marrow transplant and my Uncles second wife was just diagnosed with cancer...its like wtf.