Million to one shot, Doc

norm

Vicar hospitalised with potato up his bum

A vicar claims a potato got stuck up his bottom after he fell on to the vegetable while hanging curtains in the nude.

The clergyman, in his 50s, told medical staff at Sheffield's Northern General Hospital that the accident was definitely not due to a sex game.

He had to undergo surgery to extract the spud from his backside, according to The Sun.

A&E nurse Trudi Watson told the paper: "He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in he kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato.

"But it's not for me to question his story."

She went on to reveal other objects removed from people's derriére, including a cucumber, a Russian doll and a carnation.

Read more: http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/382493-vic ... z1ptqeaeFw

DS1119

norm wrote:

Vicar hospitalised with potato up his bum

A vicar claims a potato got stuck up his bottom after he fell on to the vegetable while hanging curtains in the nude.

The clergyman, in his 50s, told medical staff at Sheffield's Northern General Hospital that the accident was definitely not due to a sex game.

He had to undergo surgery to extract the spud from his backside, according to The Sun.

A&E nurse Trudi Watson told the paper: "He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in he kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato.

"But it's not for me to question his story."

She went on to reveal other objects removed from people's derriére, including a cucumber, a Russian doll and a carnation.

Read more: http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/382493-vic ... z1ptqeaeFw

I know the feeling. Happened to me twice last week.

afroannnie

One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck up his ass. True story. He bought it at our local mall, so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrasing for my relatives and all, but next week, he did it again. Different cat, same results, complete with another trip to the emergency room. So, I run into him a week later in the mall and he's buying another cat. And I says to him, "Jesus, Walt! What are you doing? You know you're just gonna get this cat stuck up your ass too. Why don't you knock it off?" And he said to me, "Brodie, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?" My cousin was a weird guy.

The Waiting Trophy Man

I bet cucumbers are common.

afroannnie

I wonder how often they see Fusilli Jerrys :think:

DS1119

I knew a guy who was a firefighter and he responded to a call where a guy had his business stuck in a shampoo bottle...same story it was an accident. How do you accidentally hump a shampoo bottle?

norm

afroannnie wrote:

I wonder how often they see Fusilli Jerrys :think:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eghL7ORV1lg

norm

afroannnie wrote:

One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck up his ass. True story. He bought it at our local mall, so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrasing for my relatives and all, but next week, he did it again. Different cat, same results, complete with another trip to the emergency room. So, I run into him a week later in the mall and he's buying another cat. And I says to him, "Jesus, Walt! What are you doing? You know you're just gonna get this cat stuck up your ass too. Why don't you knock it off?" And he said to me, "Brodie, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?" My cousin was a weird guy.

JOEJOEJOE

DS1119 wrote:

I knew a guy who was a firefighter and he responded to a call where a guy had his business stuck in a shampoo bottle...same story it was an accident. How do you accidentally hump a shampoo bottle?

Conditioner bottles work much better.....my friend told me that!

conman

at this whole thread

81

DS1119 wrote:

I knew a guy who was a firefighter and he responded to a call where a guy had his business stuck in a shampoo bottle...same story it was an accident. How do you accidentally hump a shampoo bottle?

Seems like it would be better to wait for the dick to soften up, then stand in front of the freezer for a bit. Turtle it up

81

afroannnie wrote:

One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck up his ass. True story. He bought it at our local mall, so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrasing for my relatives and all, but next week, he did it again. Different cat, same results, complete with another trip to the emergency room. So, I run into him a week later in the mall and he's buying another cat. And I says to him, "Jesus, Walt! What are you doing? You know you're just gonna get this cat stuck up your ass too. Why don't you knock it off?" And he said to me, "Brodie, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?" My cousin was a weird guy.

Wow...

DS1119

81 wrote:

DS1119 wrote:

I knew a guy who was a firefighter and he responded to a call where a guy had his business stuck in a shampoo bottle...same story it was an accident. How do you accidentally hump a shampoo bottle?

Seems like it would be better to wait for the dick to soften up, then stand in front of the freezer for a bit. Turtle it up

They had to cut the bottle off at the hospital.

DS1119

Same firefighter guy told me a story of a teenager who had his business stuck in one of the jets of his families pool.

81

DS1119 wrote:

81 wrote:

DS1119 wrote:

I knew a guy who was a firefighter and he responded to a call where a guy had his business stuck in a shampoo bottle...same story it was an accident. How do you accidentally hump a shampoo bottle?

Seems like it would be better to wait for the dick to soften up, then stand in front of the freezer for a bit. Turtle it up

They had to cut the bottle off at the hospital.

I'm gonna try 100 things before calling 911. And for that matter, i'm not calling 911...i'd drive my ass over there

norm

81 wrote:

I'm gonna try 100 things before calling 911. And for that matter, i'm not calling 911...i'd drive my ass over there

yeah but think of the pain...i mean, that's gotta hurt after a while and, unless you're sif other is cool with this, you're probably alone and will need to drive yourself :-x

EdsonNascimento

norm wrote:

81 wrote:

I'm gonna try 100 things before calling 911. And for that matter, i'm not calling 911...i'd drive my ass over there

yeah but think of the pain...i mean, that's gotta hurt after a while and, unless you're sif other is cool with this, you're probably alone and will need to drive yourself :-x

Have to go with E on this one. Let it soften. Find a blade (for the bottle). Something No reason to be calling anyone on that one.

Though I guess if you're that hard up(pun intended) you've already lost all self respect.


Who the hell does this stuff? :shock:

81

norm wrote:

81 wrote:

I'm gonna try 100 things before calling 911. And for that matter, i'm not calling 911...i'd drive my ass over there

yeah but think of the pain...i mean, that's gotta hurt after a while and, unless you're sif other is cool with this, you're probably alone and will need to drive yourself :-x

I dunno...don't seem like it would add any pain.

New alpine game...how drunk does one need to be to fuck a shampoo bottle

DS1119

81 wrote:

I'm gonna try 100 things before calling 911. And for that matter, i'm not calling 911...i'd drive my ass over there

Now I can't get the visual of a smoking baby walking into the emergency room with his junk stuck in a shampoo bottle.

Claireack

A potato?????

Would it just come out anyway if you let nature take its course?

rick1zoo2

davidtrios

Catholic?

RYEzupSF

In the immortal words of Ice Cube: Big *potatoes* up yo ass is bad for yo health...

PatrickBateman

afroannnie wrote:

One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck up his ass. True story. He bought it at our local mall, so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrasing for my relatives and all, but next week, he did it again. Different cat, same results, complete with another trip to the emergency room. So, I run into him a week later in the mall and he's buying another cat. And I says to him, "Jesus, Walt! What are you doing? You know you're just gonna get this cat stuck up your ass too. Why don't you knock it off?" And he said to me, "Brodie, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?" My cousin was a weird guy.

came to post this

mysticweed

well
i guess this proves priests should be allowed to marry
to eliminate (pun intended) the need for hanging curtains in the nude
not to mention vegetable abuse
that poor poor spud

Claireack

Seriously - would it not pop outt next time he went to the toilet?? Or was it a good sized baking potato?

norm

Claireack wrote:

Seriously - would it not pop outt next time he went to the toilet?? Or was it a good sized baking potato?

the best part of this story is everyone trying to make sense of it

Claireack

norm wrote:

Claireack wrote:

Seriously - would it not pop outt next time he went to the toilet?? Or was it a good sized baking potato?

the best part of this story is everyone trying to make sense of it

I've been trying to figure it out a lot. I've even pm'd 81 to ask if it's possible to expel a potato. Where's unlost?? She's medical, I only do feet, she might know.

mysticweed

Claireack wrote:

norm wrote:

Claireack wrote:

Seriously - would it not pop outt next time he went to the toilet?? Or was it a good sized baking potato?

the best part of this story is everyone trying to make sense of it

I've been trying to figure it out a lot. I've even pm'd 81 to ask if it's possible to expel a potato. Where's unlost?? She's medical, I only do feet, she might know.

so you could remove a foot from someone's ass
if necessary

Claireack

slickweed wrote:

Claireack wrote:

norm wrote:

I've been trying to figure it out a lot. I've even pm'd 81 to ask if it's possible to expel a potato. Where's unlost?? She's medical, I only do feet, she might know.

so you could remove a foot from someone's ass
if necessary

I'm actually better at shoving them up peoples bums.

rick1zoo2

Claireack wrote:

Seriously - would it not pop outt next time he went to the toilet?? Or was it a good sized baking potato?

I was thinking he should shove a stick of butter up there to lub it out. and then I thought, well, as long as you are adding butter, why not some bacon bits and maybe cheese, you know, make it a loaded baked potato?