Marriage..

-Ardy-

just my opinion, but you seem awfully worried about what others may think to this... they really don't matter in this, do they? this should be between you and your girl. the kind of ring, the kind of ceremony, the timing..all that really shouldn't be a concern of your friends/family. of course it's nice to have everyone on board but if one or two aren't, will that really sway your decision? if you don't have a good feeling about this, that's your conscience telling you to stop and really think it through first. if the first concern is always going to be what your friends or family think, you'll never make another decision on your own the rest of your life. i think it's honorable that your are worried about your girl's healthcare to consider *that* reason enough to move your plans up. the choice to be married is based on unconditional love between the two people involved, the maturity of both to recognize this person is who you want to make a life with and the commitment by both to work at it knowing there will be times when it's not all rainbows and unicorns. at the end of the day, you lay down with her, not your parents or friends.

good luck....it's always easy to get married. the hard part is making it work.

satansbedbugs

pandora wrote:

a time that is "socially right"...? This a new concept for me :?

only when your heart says go...Go! and don't look back
Enjoy the ride!

I like the way you think , and I agree wholeheartedly

PJaddicted

9 months of dating....29 years of a happy marriage...hoping for another 29 years! Do what your heart says....who cares what others think!

bionicamy

Your heart knows what to do. You will drive yourself mad trying to reason things out.
Love isn't alway reasonable.....
Marriage is a scary step no matter when you take it. Marriage does take work during certain periods to keep things going.

As for benefits .... You should be able to add her any time. It would be considered a change of status.
Marriage birth of a child or even if you were covered on your spouses benefits and they lost their job you can change to yours then.
These are some reasons you don't have to wait for open enrollment to change things.

i_lov_it

Gob wrote:

Here's the thing putting pressure on me.. She has no health insurance., Because of pre-existing conditions, she can't afford it, she is stuck relying on medicaid or whatever crap you get that conservatives don't like people to get, and its hard for her to get renewed.. I have really good health insurance through work that covers spouses.

Not to be Judgemental or anything!...BUT what sort of Country do you Live in that having 'Health Insurance' or Not *Determines* whether you should Marry someone?... :?

Hugh Freaking Dillon

if you aren't ready, you aren't ready. you can do your best to help her in other ways. don't rush into marriage if you aren't ready to.

I know it's not as simple as that.

why do you care what your friends think of her? the only time I cared about that was when I didn't like the girl I was dating. friends come and go (trust me!), but marriage is for good. you aren't marrying your friends.

wolfbear

If you aren't sure, you aren't sure. Period. If you have no doubts do it!

Mamasan23

Here's the thing - don't let anything society deems appropriate tell you how to live your life. There is no specific 'time limit' for waiting until you propose. So don't wait until it's officially been a year, that just doesn't matter. Also, I get that you want your close friends to know her, but they also shouldn't be a deciding factor in who you marry. Only you know what you want and if you know in your heart you want to marry her, then just do it!

All that being said, if you doubt it or don't know FOR SURE that this is the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with, then don't propose. It's admirable of you to want to marry her so she can get on your health insurance, but if down the road you have problems and get divorced, she'll be w/o the insurance again and you'll both have to deal with everything that comes with divorce.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is not to let any outlying factors determine your decision. Only you know what's right for you!

Good luck!

tinkerbell

SPEEDY MCCREADY wrote:

You love her...
You want to spend the rest of your life with her....
She is EVERYTHING to you.....

Yeah..
If legally marrying her is going to benifit her NOW...
When she needs it....NOW

Then marry her....NOW!!!!

You can wait a year or 2 and have a BIG shindig Wedding.....Right???

This from a guy who dated Kathy for 14 years before getting married.....hehehehehehehehe

I agree with Speedy. Who cares what your friends have done. If you love her and know that she is the one then DO IT!!! Life is short - just ask Black Diamond.... and like Speedy I waited 15 years to marry Mr Tink - I wish I had done it sooner.

Lizardjam

Your post doesn't make you sound completely sure.

If you are, then go for it. Because you love her and want to spend your life with her. Not for insurance purposes. That is not the reason to get married.

I'm not sure why you feel this need for approval from your friends? They're not marrying her. You like her. You love her. Why wouldn't they? If they're your friends, they'll accept her. They'll wonder why you haven't introduced them and so have a dinner or get together before the wedding if you decide to marry her.

You should marry her because you want to. Not because you have your friends approval or she needs insurance. Unless you want problems down the road...but, hey, if you are 100% go for it. Don't mention the insurance in your proposal. If you're proposing to her for the right reasons, that will be just an added benefit you can discuss after she says yes. If it's the reason you're proposing, I wouldn't be surprised if she said no.