Marriage..
LikeAnOcean
Posts: 7,718
So I've been dating this girl 11 months now. I see myself spending the rest of my life with her and I'm 200% sure she feels the same way.
Here's my dilema.. It feels too soon to make a commitment. My parents have meet her once. She hasn't meet a lot of my friends because of health issues and her working evenings in retail.. most of my friends have waited 2 to 4 years before making the big proposal..
Here's the thing putting pressure on me.. She has no health insurance., Because of pre-existing conditions, she can't afford it, she is stuck relying on medicaid or whatever crap you get that conservatives don't like people to get, and its hard for her to get renewed.. I have really good health insurance through work that covers spouses.
I love this girl. I tell her it every day. I'm almost, but not quite ready to tell her and everyone I know that I plan on spending the rest of my life with her.. I still feel I need a little more time before it's set.. but in a few months, I will be redoing my health insurance plan, and she will be in desperate need for coverage, and it will be another year after before I could possibly add her if we pass when she desperately needs it now.
At this point, what would you do? Tell her you will "legally" marry her to help her out? Or wait another year or so before everything feels socially right to pop the question?
I don't want to rush into anything because she needs medical help, now, but I can't help but want to help and care for her.
Here's my dilema.. It feels too soon to make a commitment. My parents have meet her once. She hasn't meet a lot of my friends because of health issues and her working evenings in retail.. most of my friends have waited 2 to 4 years before making the big proposal..
Here's the thing putting pressure on me.. She has no health insurance., Because of pre-existing conditions, she can't afford it, she is stuck relying on medicaid or whatever crap you get that conservatives don't like people to get, and its hard for her to get renewed.. I have really good health insurance through work that covers spouses.
I love this girl. I tell her it every day. I'm almost, but not quite ready to tell her and everyone I know that I plan on spending the rest of my life with her.. I still feel I need a little more time before it's set.. but in a few months, I will be redoing my health insurance plan, and she will be in desperate need for coverage, and it will be another year after before I could possibly add her if we pass when she desperately needs it now.
At this point, what would you do? Tell her you will "legally" marry her to help her out? Or wait another year or so before everything feels socially right to pop the question?
I don't want to rush into anything because she needs medical help, now, but I can't help but want to help and care for her.
Post edited by Unknown User on
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edit: maybe suggest moving in together if you haven't already to see how it would be that way.
You want to spend the rest of your life with her....
She is EVERYTHING to you.....
Yeah..
If legally marrying her is going to benifit her NOW...
When she needs it....NOW
Then marry her....NOW!!!!
You can wait a year or 2 and have a BIG shindig Wedding.....Right???
This from a guy who dated Kathy for 14 years before getting married.....hehehehehehehehe
Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
I KNEW MONTHS AGO....
That you were gonna marry this girl...
Actually......... I KNEW after your 1st few dates....
FACT!!!!
hehehehehehehe
Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
I think my health insurance gets changed in February.. Proposing to her in January would only be like 15 months of dating.. should I be worrying about what people who've been friends for 20+ years think?
I want to make the big moment a big moment without cheapening it for the sake of getting her on health insurance. :?
And it doesn't matter if some friends haven't met her, they will.
I don't think she will care too much about a fancy wedding as long as she is with you and you can provide for her, etc.
But yeah, if I propose to her, how do i separate the legality issues from the formality issues?.. I kind of want to do the traditional, ask the dad for permission, make the big move, but outside of us, it doesn't feel like the right time.. can I propose twice? :?
Get a marriage license...
Get married...
And not tell a soul....Right??
A year later you go to her father...
Ask permission...
And he tells you to go fuck yourself!!!!!! hehehehehehehehehehe
Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
I don't know how to ask her for insurance purposes, when it wouldn't be official.. Do I tell her how I feel, but why it doesn't feel right yet, and that we can legally move forward, but socially, it needs a little more time?
"Yo, I'm marrying her, what?!"
DO NOT take advice from anyone on this silly board.....hehehe
Do what YOU think is best......
And CONGRATS!!!
Hope ya have lots of babies...
Who end up being Cubs fans!!!!!!!
Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
I spend, and where do I get it from?.. or do I just propese for legal reasons and do the ring later?
I'm so confused.. :shock:
all of this^^
those poor, doomed children :P :thumbup:
Alpine Valley Resort is etched in my brain!!!
i get why you feel like that but it's your life...if this is what you want (and hopefully her
do a civil service sometime early next year and then plan the big wedding...or have a big party like reception because that's all the guests really care about...you can have family & really close friends at the civil ceremony
if your that sure dont worry what other people think. they will dig it and respect you for your choice or fuck em. ive been married for 18 years after living with her for five.you cant sweat what other people think.
Alpine Valley Resort is etched in my brain!!!
I sort of got a couple friends in trouble when I knocked up my gf (who I married) because their gf's wanted a kid too.
I realize that nowadays people seem to want everything about getting married to be "perfect." Like planning the proposal, talking to her dad, nice ceremony, etc. It's hard for an old woman like me to understand that. I'm not belittling that you want it all to be just right, just saying that that stuff never mattered to me. I think you might want to find out how she feels about it.
Introduce her to your friends, let your family spend more time around her. Just let everyone know that this is the person you care about and want to spend your life with.
How quickly can a couple be married? Could a bring this conversation up a few weeks before I redo my health insurance through work?
In regards to getting married, give it at least a month and see how you feel. Slowly integrate her into your friend/family life and see how it all feels. If it goes well, I say go for it.
Of course, you could just say f%^k it and get married now. I married my wife after knowing her for 9 months and we will be celebrating 4 years of marriage this December.