I Have Failed as a Parent and PJ Fan, Help Needed

Black Diamond

I am a proud parent of 3 beautiful children. 8, 5 and 3. I have been a PJ Fan from the beginning and looked forward to the day when my children would say, "Did you get tickets for the show, I can't wait!". I know parents and children will have different tastes in music (my dad was a Sinatra and Opera buff vs. Kiss and Floyd Fan) but I would go to the opera house with my dad and still have an appreciation for it today (my dad would let me play my Kiss 8-tracks in the car, good man). I figured PJ is such a band that all generations would love to listen to them.

Well, here is my life. I have the kind of job which affords me to let my wife raise them but I get to only see them about 1 hour during the week (I actually don't see the 3 year old until the weekends). This affords me little time to play PJ around the kids. My wife, who gets them all week, puts on Radio Disney in the car and at home. When my 8 year old son asked me for the High School Musical soundtrack for his 6th birthday, I was concerned but figured he would grow out of it. Well, my wife just informed me that for his 8th birthday we are taking him and his friends (along with my 5 year old) to the JONAS BROTHERS concert at MSG. I have been dispondent ever since. Since it is his party, I have to go (with IPOD in tow), but I have come to realize that I have failed my son.

How can I rectify this situation. Being 8, he is already his own person and feel like I have lost him. I am considering Guant. Bay and a little waterboarding but this seems rash. Maybe adoption?

I am sure I am not the only one going through this. Some guidance is needed.

PLEASE HELP

(BTW, there is some hope as my 5 year old listens to AC/DC (and the JONAS BROTHERS, damn older brothers!) and seemed to be generally interested as i am receiving the 08 boots)

Wilds

My guess is his musical tastes will change and he will begin to appreciate Pearl Jam in his teens.

You have sown the seeds of good music and he will discover it again.

EBowie

I don't mean to criticize in any way...but, is there a way that you could spend more time with them?

emily18

damn!
don't worry, he'll grow out of it. at least he will once they're a little older and the other boys in his class kick the crap out of him for still listening to the jonas brothers.

SammyK14

you definitely haven't lost him, its not too late. i can't speak on behalf of your perspective, but my dad and i have grown the closest in the past 7-10 years (i'm 20 now), whereas when i was younger he was so busy with work i didn't see much of him. we have connected a lot recently and have been spending more time together

elvistheking44

Try to influence your kids...not force them......the only failure I see in this situation is you complaining about going to a concert with your 8 year old. Man up buddy....love your kids either way.

cuddy1011

do not worry, bands like the jonas brothers are just a phase that the kids will go through. once they mature a little more and realize how pearl jam is the greatest band of our time, they will listen.

i think when i was 8 years old, i was into gay little bands too.

its evolution baby!

cuddy1011

do not worry, bands like the jonas brothers are just a phase that the kids will go through. once they mature a little more and realize how pearl jam is the greatest band of our time, they will listen.

i think when i was 8 years old, i was into gay little bands too.

its evolution baby!

petrocs

coming from a parent of a 2 year old daughter and a 4 year old son I feel the younger you can get to them with music the better. I did it with my nephew who is now 15 and a HUGE PJ, RHCP, Foo Fighters, and Muse fan along with almost everything else I listen to. My son and daughter are starting to follow suit. My 2 year old does like her Hannah Montana which is fine to me...shes 2...she needs girly things but my 4 year old is always asking for certain songs he likes from my iPod. my suggestion...buy him an iPOD with all your music on it and tell him this is his musical education and school him...NOW..you definately dont want him coming home with *shutters* Gwen Stefani or some rap CD!

cuddy1011

accually i dont know if i was even into music when i was 8.

rival.

and i don't mean to criticize either, but if you only get to spend one hour a week with them, trying to get them to love pearl jam in that hour should not be on the top of your list.

i wouldn't pressure them too much with it. let them enjoy what they want to enjoy. there are more important things about parenting than trying to get your kids to love pearl jam.

Corey Lynn

I remember being very young in the car with my mom. Pink Floyd The Wall was on. I remember vividly her saying, "You will appreciate this some day." She was right....

music is one of the most important things in my life..good music...and I thank my parents for filling my house with Pink Floyd, and The Beatles and Led Zeppelin as I grew up. They let me cover every inch of my bedroom wall with posters and I took many trips to the record shop with my mom as a teenager to start a vinyl collection. When I was too young to go to concerts by myself...I went with my mom. My mom lives far away now, but every month or so I open the mail box and find new CD's that her husband and her want me to try out (most recently Savoy Brown, The Velvet Underground and Jimi Hendrix Blues CD).

Music will always be my link to them. We will always have something to talk about...

Your kids will remember.

HollisBrown

Give me a break. Why does everyone think they failed their kids when at the age of 8 they don't listen to PJ. Get real man. Your kids have their own personalities. Get over it. There are more important things in life. How's their health? Do they call you daddy (and not someone else cause you work so much)? Do you tell them you love them and do they tell you they love you? Priorities. Though I wanted my kids to like the music I listened to, you win some, you lose some. Took my boys to Randall's Island back in 96. Each one has gone to subsequent shows with me. Yet, if not for me they wouldn't go out of their way for PJ. My daughter could care less about PJ. Oh well. They have their own music. Your kids will have theirs, too. Yet, down the road you'll be going to a PJ show with them in tow. Enjoy them for who they are, not for who or what you want them to be.

Anon

Start Over. You get one Mulligan (or three)

Danimal

Dude....I liked Ratt, Poison, Cinderella at one point. People change...people change.

TKD

Corey Lynn wrote:

I remember being very young in the car with my mom. Pink Floyd The Wall was on. I remember vividly her saying, "You will appreciate this some day." She was right....

music is one of the most important things in my life..good music...and I thank my parents for filling my house with Pink Floyd, and The Beatles and Led Zeppelin as I grew up. They let me cover every inch of my bedroom wall with posters and I took many trips to the record shop with my mom as a teenager to start a vinyl collection. When I was too young to go to concerts by myself...I went with my mom. My mom lives far away now, but every month or so I open the mail box and find new CD's that her husband and her want me to try out (most recently Savoy Brown, The Velvet Underground and Jimi Hendrix Blues CD).

Music will always be my link to them. We will always have something to talk about...

Your kids will remember.

your mom has great tastes
what did you think of savoy brown?

Steve Dunne

Danimal wrote:

Dude....I liked Ratt, Poison, Cinderella at one point. People change...people change.

and you can admit that you still do...it's ok...go ahead!

Steve Dunne

Black Diamond wrote:

I am a proud parent of 3 beautiful children. 8, 5 and 3. I have been a PJ Fan from the beginning and looked forward to the day when my children would say, "Did you get tickets for the show, I can't wait!". I know parents and children will have different tastes in music (my dad was a Sinatra and Opera buff vs. Kiss and Floyd Fan) but I would go to the opera house with my dad and still have an appreciation for it today (my dad would let me play my Kiss 8-tracks in the car, good man). I figured PJ is such a band that all generations would love to listen to them.

Well, here is my life. I have the kind of job which affords me to let my wife raise them but I get to only see them about 1 hour during the week (I actually don't see the 3 year old until the weekends). This affords me little time to play PJ around the kids. My wife, who gets them all week, puts on Radio Disney in the car and at home. When my 8 year old son asked me for the High School Musical soundtrack for his 6th birthday, I was concerned but figured he would grow out of it. Well, my wife just informed me that for his 8th birthday we are taking him and his friends (along with my 5 year old) to the JONAS BROTHERS concert at MSG. I have been dispondent ever since. Since it is his party, I have to go (with IPOD in tow), but I have come to realize that I have failed my son.

How can I rectify this situation. Being 8, he is already his own person and feel like I have lost him. I am considering Guant. Bay and a little waterboarding but this seems rash. Maybe adoption?

I am sure I am not the only one going through this. Some guidance is needed.

PLEASE HELP

(BTW, there is some hope as my 5 year old listens to AC/DC (and the JONAS BROTHERS, damn older brothers!) and seemed to be generally interested as i am receiving the 08 boots)

spending more time with your own kids is another story, but if you want to convert them into PJ fans, maybe try doing it one song at a time. sing to them. lie on their bed at night and sing 'small town' with the lights off. they might like it (and fall asleep too!)

ariel

I think creating an Ipod of tunes you would like to share with your son is a great idea, that he can choose to listen to if you are not around, and he feels like it. He may hate them or love them, but he'll know what music you like at least. You can't mandate musical taste, but providing options and exposure is always a good thing. Enjoy your Jonas concert :laughandspoints:

ballgame

you have to let kids figure it out on their own. I like Bob Seger because thats all my mom listened to. But when I was growning up I liked metal and not what my parents liked. To a certain extent kids are trying to figure out who they are and thats why music tastes vary

BUT

Dont force it, you'll end up turning them away. You can only offer it, once you start pushing they wont listen to it. And they will change so dont let it bother you if they dont like it right NOW.

Music means different things to different people. 10 people can listen to the same song and have 10(or 11) different opinions of what the song means.

This thread sort of bothers me because you’re not letting them grow and figure it out on their own and if you’re bothered enough it might be time to step back

I want my kids to have their own music, not mine. If they ask to borrow a PJ or Hip CD then great. But that’s it.

Danimal

Steve Dunne wrote:

and you can admit that you still do...it's ok...go ahead!

I can't! I just can't!

(There needs to be a music intervention)

Igivesuchgoodparadym

Silly thread.

Gonzo1977

Don't worry.

I was into really shitty music up until I was 12-13 years old. Bullshit rap and pop music that was on the radio at the time ie: Mili Vanilli and Paula Abdul (gasp).

Turns out that my father had an amazing record collection (Queen, Sprinsteen, Zep, Floyd, The Who, Beatles, Stones, The Doors,Mowtown)

Unfortunately I never paid any attention to it because I thought it was "Old people music"

This all changed when my Father and My Uncle took me to go see The Who at the Pontiac Silverdome (88-89 tour). My life changed in front like 100,000 plus fans. It was the most amazing spectical I'd ever seen in my life.

After that night, I completly changed direction. I started paying attention to my Fathers records spinning the records endlessly.

The Who became the most important band in my life. They just ruled the world in my eyes. Along with The Beatles it was all I listened to.

I was an outcast amoung my friends who were still listening to the shitty pop and rap crap that was on the radio. I couldn't understand why my Fathers generation had all this amazing music that I related to so much and why my generation had all of this shit music that seemed so garbage in comparison.

Then....

It was September and I just started High School. So I'm riding home on the bus some older dude that was sitting next to me noticed that I was listening to Who's Next on my walkman. He passed me 2 tapes and said that I'd probably enjoy them.

Those 2 tapes were....

Nevermind and Ten

He told me that he'd seen one of these bands (Pearl Jam) live and that they did a great cover of Baba O'Reily which was my song in the world at the time.

I listened to both those albums over and over and over

from there I went on to discover Punk Rock, Obscure Classic Rock, Metal ect ect.

Long story short...I'm now a huge music fan...Pearl Jam and The Who are still the centre of my universe....but I own over 3,000 albums!!

Your son will change...just give him a nudge in the right direction every once and a while and he will discover real music.

Later

riffrandall

Give me a break, dude. Seriously. I think it is asinine when parents assume that by being the "cool dad" they will automatically raise some miniature version of Eddie Vedder from the get-go.
I have an 11 year old girl & she couldn't care LESS about PJ. Her idea of hell, I'm sure, would be to have to sit through an entire concert.

I have the kind of job that allows me to travel with many musicians and expose my daughter to just about every type of music any good PJ fan could want to expose their kids to. You know what my daughter does 3/4 of the time we're out on tour? Plays chess with the bus driver and researches alternative fuel sources. If she wants to be around me, she'll come find me- and then fall asleep on the soundboard.

Kids decide what they like. Better to have them exposed to everything & go through a good Jonas Brothers phase and get over that than to only be exposed to one thing & become a mindless idiot.

Get over it.

Danimal

riffrandall wrote:

Give me a break, dude. Seriously. I think it is asinine when parents assume that by being the "cool dad" they will automatically raise some miniature version of Eddie Vedder from the get-go.
I have an 11 year old girl & she couldn't care LESS about PJ. Her idea of hell, I'm sure, would be to have to sit through an entire concert.

I have the kind of job that allows me to travel with many musicians and expose my daughter to just about every type of music any good PJ fan could want to expose their kids to. You know what my daughter does 3/4 of the time we're out on tour? Plays chess with the bus driver and researches alternative fuel sources. If she wants to be around me, she'll come find me- and then fall asleep on the soundboard.

Kids decide what they like. Better to have them exposed to everything & go through a good Jonas Brothers phase and get over that than to only be exposed to one thing & become a mindless idiot.

Get over it.

He's angry.

LavaLamp_GuitarTramp

Being 8 & liking stupid gay shit like Jonas Brothers isn't too bad...

But if he's 12 & still likes them, frankly the other kids need to kick his ass.

nadja_vedder

As a lot of people said, don't worry about it, he will definitively grow out of it. When I was younger I used to listen to the pop bands (boy-bands) and all that, until I listen to the Ten Album tape my friend had, after that everything changed!!!

flags

HollisBrown wrote:

Enjoy them for who they are, not for who or what you want them to be.

Well said...

Lowkees

"Well, here is my life. I have the kind of job which affords me to let my wife raise them but I get to only see them about 1 hour during the week (I actually don't see the 3 year old until the weekends). "

I'm sorry to say but you have failed as a parent and it has nothing to do with your children's music taste.

Sounds to me like your job SUCKS if it takes you away from your children. you should be ASHAMED of yourself.

Danimal

Lowkees wrote:

"Well, here is my life. I have the kind of job which affords me to let my wife raise them but I get to only see them about 1 hour during the week (I actually don't see the 3 year old until the weekends). "

I'm sorry to say but you have failed as a parent and it has nothing to do with your children's music taste.

Sounds to me like your job SUCKS if it takes you away from your children. you should be ASHAMED of yourself.

Oh knock it off.

Lowkees

Hey Danimal,

Only spending 1 hour during the week with your kids is not being a parent... It's that simple.