I think it telling that no one would want this child to know he was being discussed.
Why... because its wrong.
Wow, that is extremely judgmental of you. My point earlier was that the OP already posted his question.. its beyond that point of criticizing his decision to ask a question here. Why do you judge him so? Maybe he’s exhausted the other options and was still confused as to what to do. Why not try to help him before criticizing him?
And the parents corner... really... that is just wrong too, its not about the adult.
Stand in the child's shoes...
would you want to be discussed?
Yes, I’d have no problem if my parents discussed things about me with other people. Especially people I will NEVER meet or know personally. Its obvious to me that parents like the OP is only asking questions for the good of his child.
When did this ever become about the adult? I’ve never even seen a hint of that anywhere discussed here.
I have given my advice, it is about trust, respect, empowerment, knowledge, compassion and truth.
A parent will want their child to know these and use them as they grow.
Of course. But I know there are several things my parents kept from me for protection. You cant be your kids best friend. knowing how to deal with a kid of that age going to questionable websites and chatrooms is not your run-of-the-mill problem. I personally think they best advice you could find for this kind of thing is through your peers and the people you know to give good advice or have LIVED the situation. Three was some great advice in here, and i'll bet GunderP was glad he asked. I would be.
I think it telling that no one would want this child to know he was being discussed.
Why... because its wrong.
Wow, that is extremely judgmental of you. My point earlier was that the OP already posted his question.. its beyond that point of criticizing his decision to ask a question here. Why do you judge him so? Maybe he’s exhausted the other options and was still confused as to what to do. Why not try to help him before criticizing him?
And the parents corner... really... that is just wrong too, its not about the adult.
Stand in the child's shoes...
would you want to be discussed?
Yes, I’d have no problem if my parents discussed things about me with other people. Especially people I will NEVER meet or know personally. Its obvious to me that parents like the OP is only asking questions for the good of his child. When did this ever become about the adult? I’ve never even seen a hint of that anywhere discussed here.
I have given my advice, it is about trust, respect, empowerment, knowledge, compassion and truth.
A parent will want their child to know these and use them as they grow.
Of course. But I know there are several things my parents kept from me for protection. You cant be your kids best friend. knowing how to deal with a kid of that age going to questionable websites and chatrooms is not your run-of-the-mill problem. I personally think they best advice you could find for this kind of thing is through your peers and the people you know to give good advice or have LIVED the situation. Three was some great advice in here, and i'll bet GunderP was glad he asked. I would be.
It is wrong, I stand by this... it is my opinion... not judgmental it is my opinion.
I was helping him by advising against posting personal sexual information about his stepson.
That is embarrassing info to be discussed without one's permission ... period.
It became about the Op when it became his problem before his child's.
But perhaps you won't understand this because you said you would do the same to your child.
In my opinion...which may be a professional's opinion also,
this from my past experience with the teens I've cared for.
The situation is private and needs to be dealt with knowledgeable, educational information
between child and parent...
We are not talking about grades dropping or skipping school
we are taking private sexual issues.
I stand by compassion in rearing children .. it brings the best success... not sneaking around
behind a child's back. Trust and principle most important.
In my opinion, yes it is betrayal if this young man would find out he would feel betrayed.
If he had his son's permission first he would not.
Open honest when parenting ... family works together. This I learned amidst the trauma.
My heart would not allow me to do this to a child I love...I would feel guilty.
This is a fallacy I am my child's best friend and those who I have cared for
but you must arm yourself with information, be prepared,
second guess what is coming next.
There are great age appropriate books geared for rearing kids of all ages.
Discussing private things about your child online with your peers is just wrong.
Again we are not talking about grades dropping or skipping school we are taking private sexual issues.
Not sure why I was made to repeat myself... you knew where I stood Jonny and it wasn't going to change.
To the depths of my being this is so wrong on so many levels.
I find it scary that the parents here are ok with discussing their kids private sexual issues online.
Perhaps like my kids, their kids will express a big fat NO WAY! before their parents do it to them.
Makes me see a disconnect there to how a child might feel. Again doesn't matter if they find out
it is still wrong. This as clear as the Golden Rule.
I don't think I need to be further challenged I think everyone understands my opinion
which we all are entitled too... even the unpopular one
I am a child advocate ... and will remain so.
Get an age appropriate book and keep your child's secrets to yourself!
It is wrong, I stand by this... it is my opinion... not judgmental it is my opinion.
I was helping him by advising against posting personal sexual information about his stepson.
That is embarrassing info to be discussed without one's permission ... period.
So your advice, you expected him to go back and delete his post? its a bit retroactive and pointless, and only serves to make him feel bad for a choice he made that was obviously out of not knowing what to do in the situation. he was reaching out. maybe he was desperate, we dont know him.
It became about the Op when it became his problem before his child's.
But perhaps you won't understand this because you said you would do the same to your child.
I didnt not say I would do it to my child, I dont know where you got that from - I absolutely never said that and I'm surprised that you would infer that its something I would do to my child! :? I simply saw this as HIS decision to ask, and I thought he got some very in depth helpful responses that could aid his family, and I will not judge him for that. still, its not about the OP, its about his entire family, just my opinion, and when you say he made it about himself, I also see that as kinda accusatory and wrong.
There are great age appropriate books geared for rearing kids of all ages.
Discussing private things about your child online with your peers is just wrong.
Again we are not talking about grades dropping or skipping school we are taking private sexual issues.
Not sure why I was made to repeat myself... you knew where I stood Jonny and it wasn't going to change.
To the depths of my being this is so wrong on so many levels.
Not sure why I had to repeat myself either, but not everybody relies on books or has faith in something that was written by some distant psychiatrist. Maybe this problem was too distinct to fix with google or some lousy book. None of this was done maliciously, and I just feel that bashing the OP for this is inappropriate at this point. You can have your opinion, I can have mine, the OP will have his, but maybe this was where the age old saying works -- if you dont have something nice to say, dont say anything at all.
It became about the Op when it became his problem before his child's.
The problem the OP was seeking advice on was on how HE can deal with the situation. It was always HIS issue on how to handle things. And, the main focus of the conversation he would be having with his stepson was about INTERNET SAFETY and maybe deceit on his stepson's part in using the brother's computer and lying about it. Not being his biological child may also be a factor in this. He was hoping someone may have had similar issues with unsafe surfing, etc and would be willing to share his/her experience. You, of all, have said here so many times as you were laying your 'traumas' out for the world to read so that it may 'help' someone reading your stories who may be in a similar situation.
So yeah... in the end it was the OP's problem. He did mention gay sites but this was not the main issue for him - it's how the thread developed. Until mega finger pointing and dissing the OP started.
Just make the point of the dangers of going on such sites, that you have to be an adult to be there and how teens can be lured to do things that can put him in danger...... .
So I ask your thoughts on this situation on how and whatImight say to him upon my return?
It is wrong, I stand by this... it is my opinion... not judgmental it is my opinion.
I was helping him by advising against posting personal sexual information about his stepson.
That is embarrassing info to be discussed without one's permission ... period.
So your advice, you expected him to go back and delete his post? its a bit retroactive and pointless, and only serves to make him feel bad for a choice he made that was obviously out of not knowing what to do in the situation. he was reaching out. maybe he was desperate, we dont know him.
It became about the Op when it became his problem before his child's.
But perhaps you won't understand this because you said you would do the same to your child.
I didnt not say I would do it to my child, I dont know where you got that from - I absolutely never said that and I'm surprised that you would infer that its something I would do to my child! :? I simply saw this as HIS decision to ask, and I thought he got some very in depth helpful responses that could aid his family, and I will not judge him for that. still, its not about the OP, its about his entire family, just my opinion, and when you say he made it about himself, I also see that as kinda accusatory and wrong.
There are great age appropriate books geared for rearing kids of all ages.
Discussing private things about your child online with your peers is just wrong.
Again we are not talking about grades dropping or skipping school we are taking private sexual issues.
Not sure why I was made to repeat myself... you knew where I stood Jonny and it wasn't going to change.
To the depths of my being this is so wrong on so many levels.
Not sure why I had to repeat myself either, but not everybody relies on books or has faith in something that was written by some distant . Maybe this problem was too distinct to fix with google or some lousy book. None of this was done maliciously, and I just feel that bashing the OP for this is inappropriate at this point. You can have your opinion, I can have mine, the OP will have his, but maybe this was where the age old saying works -- if you dont have something nice to say, dont say anything at all.
Posts can be edited for the sake of the child.
So you would not do this to your child? I understand.
The books are written normally by family pediatrians
and those that guide families and child rearing specialists.
My opinion is still a good book in hand, a family plan.
Not bashing... never said he was a bad parent or anything directly related to that.
As I said at least once before, never even thought that ...
I have been where he stands....
I have been lost and afraid and found my way with good books
from professionals who give awesome advice
Good thing to know I guess.
I didn't say anything not nice to the OP only ....
I whollywith my heart and souldo not agree with hisactionswhich you know all about Jonny and voice that too when you come upon it
for me this was injustice ... yes that deep ... gonna say so.
It became about the Op when it became his problem before his child's.
The problem the OP was seeking advice on was on how HE can deal with the situation. It was always HIS issue on how to handle things. And, the main focus of the conversation he would be having with his stepson was about INTERNET SAFETY and maybe deceit on his stepson's part in using the brother's computer and lying about it. Not being his biological child may also be a factor in this. He was hoping someone may have had similar issues with unsafe surfing, etc and would be willing to share his/her experience. You, of all, have said here so many times as you were laying your 'traumas' out for the world to read so that it may 'help' someone reading your stories who may be in a similar situation.
So yeah... in the end it was the OP's problem. He did mention gay sites but this was not the main issue for him - it's how the thread developed. Until mega finger pointing and dissing the OP started.
Just make the point of the dangers of going on such sites, that you have to be an adult to be there and how teens can be lured to do things that can put him in danger...... .
So I ask your thoughts on this situation on how and whatImight say to him upon my return?
In my opinion...which may be a professional's opinion also,
Oh yeah? Good thing there is the word 'may'.
But anyway, I'm sure the conversation between the OP and his stepson has taken place and this thread is no longer relevant. End of.
Always a 'may' cause otherwise it is a given... not many of those
I don't care gay or otherwise
talking private personal stuff about another especially your child is wrong IMO.
the fact that it is still betrayal whether the child finds out or not is
like talking behind a friend's back to another friend
whether that friend ever finds out it is still betrayal.
Yes I can talk about my trauma, that is my story to tell, but not my child's.
Would never break their trust probably why we are best friends ... not peers... but friends.
They know I have their back and keep them in my confidence.
I don't care gay or otherwise
talking private personal stuff about another especially your child is wrong IMO.
Then YOU don't talk about YOUR child.
Simple enough. End of story.
I wasn't taking about my child! I was taking about the gay issue Redcock came up with
for the OP's child... geez Jean
you best start reading more thoroughly !
Duh Pandora, that's what I'm talking about. Read the bolded again. That's how you parent your kid, so let that be it, instead of you throwing your opinions around like they should apply to everyone else and their kid. I know g asked for advice, but you opinion is ONLY YOUR OPINION. Talking private personal stuff about another especially your child may not be for you, but that doesn't mean everyone else should do the same just because you say so. And besides, we're all pretty anonymous on here, with made up names and all. It's a pretty safe place to talk about touchy situations and asking for advice about a dilemma with a loved one.
I wasn't taking about my child! I was taking about the gay issue Redcock came up with
for the OP's child... geez Jean
you best start reading more thoroughly !
Duh Pandora, that's what I'm talking about. Read the bolded again. That's how you parent your kid, so let that be it, instead of you throwing your opinions around like they should apply to everyone else and their kid. I know g asked for advice, but you opinion is ONLY YOUR OPINION. Talking private personal stuff about another especially your child may not be for you, but that doesn't mean everyone else should do the same just because you say so. And besides, we're all pretty anonymous on here, with made up names and all. It's a pretty safe place to talk about touchy situations and asking for advice about a dilemma with a loved one.
Oh I get it .... sassiness
sorry for my mistake there missed that.... not accustomed to sassy all that much.
Will NOT make my points again for you Jean, but you could read through this time before judgement
and even name calling like in the other thread.
And no, of course others do not have to be like me nor raise their children as I do.
THAT goes without saying.
But I can give my advice and opinion like everyone else.
Sometimes I actually get it right
Oh and I don't have to be like you no matter how many pms you send
'kettle black'... again... huh... really enough with that.
What has got your panties in such a bundle :?:
So many threads... just on my back .. get off please ... Its bringing me down :(
and I would rather be a happy positive person
that is, unless I see something I perceive as injustice, as in the case of this young man.
Duh Pandora, that's what I'm talking about. Read the bolded again. That's how you parent your kid, so let that be it, instead of you throwing your opinions around like they should apply to everyone else and their kid. I know g asked for advice, but you opinion is ONLY YOUR OPINION. Talking private personal stuff about another especially your child may not be for you, but that doesn't mean everyone else should do the same just because you say so. And besides, we're all pretty anonymous on here, with made up names and all. It's a pretty safe place to talk about touchy situations and asking for advice about a dilemma with a loved one.
Oh I get it .... sassiness
sorry for my mistake there missed that.... not accustomed to sassy all that much.
Will NOT make my points again for you Jean, but you could read through this time before judgement
and even name calling like in the other thread.
And no, of course others do not have to be like me nor raise their children as I do.
THAT goes without saying.
But I can give my advice and opinion like everyone else.
Sometimes I actually get it right
Oh and I don't have to be like you no matter how many pms you send
'kettle black'... again... huh... really enough with that.
What has got your panties in such a bundle :?:
So many threads... just on my back .. get off please ... Its bringing me down :(
and I would rather be a happy positive person
that is, unless I see something I perceive as injustice, as in the case of this young man.
Then you are bound to see my outspoken side.
That is me.
I don't need you to make your points again, since you do it over and over and over...
And you call me judging.... Holy Shit.... Read your own posts for a change.
Name calling? Really now, you're sinking to an all new low. Whatev. :roll:
Happy, positive persona, you like to label yourself. Funny how we've seen the other side quite a bit lately.
Am I poking you too much? Too bad. It's fun. :twisted: That arrogant attitude you have screams of being superior to the rest of us. You need to brought down a few notches off your pedestal now and then.
Duh Pandora, that's what I'm talking about. Read the bolded again. That's how you parent your kid, so let that be it, instead of you throwing your opinions around like they should apply to everyone else and their kid. I know g asked for advice, but you opinion is ONLY YOUR OPINION. Talking private personal stuff about another especially your child may not be for you, but that doesn't mean everyone else should do the same just because you say so. And besides, we're all pretty anonymous on here, with made up names and all. It's a pretty safe place to talk about touchy situations and asking for advice about a dilemma with a loved one.
Oh I get it .... sassiness
sorry for my mistake there missed that.... not accustomed to sassy all that much.
Will NOT make my points again for you Jean, but you could read through this time before judgement
and even name calling like in the other thread.
And no, of course others do not have to be like me nor raise their children as I do.
THAT goes without saying.
But I can give my advice and opinion like everyone else.
Sometimes I actually get it right
Oh and I don't have to be like you no matter how many pms you send
'kettle black'... again... huh... really enough with that.
What has got your panties in such a bundle :?:
So many threads... just on my back .. get off please ... Its bringing me down :(
and I would rather be a happy positive person
that is, unless I see something I perceive as injustice, as in the case of this young man.
Then you are bound to see my outspoken side.
That is me.
I don't need you to make your points again, since you do it over and over and over...
And you call me judging.... Holy Shit.... Read your own posts for a change.
Name calling? Really now, you're sinking to an all new low. Whatev. :roll:
Happy, positive persona, you like to label yourself. Funny how we've seen the other side quite a bit lately.
Am I poking you too much? Too bad. It's fun. :twisted: That arrogant attitude you have screams of being superior to the rest of us. You need to brought down a few notches off your pedestal now and then.
Please Jean read your posts directed at me in a number of threads, before the uninformed name calling on your part, I have done nothing to you.
As I said this is me...
You were and now are, treating me with terrific superiority and you had the gall to then take it to my personal space by pm.
I may not have liked your superior attitude towards me in your posts but I did not attack you. I would rather not derail this thread Jean and just say again please be respectful
I do not need or want your advice nor have I ever requested it.
it is the time of great personal misunderstandings.
It's not yours faults
Mercury Retrograde
At 03:50 UT (Universal Time) Wednesday, August 3rd, 2011, Mercury the wise communicator—and universal trickster—turns retrograde at 1°12' Virgo in the sign of the Virgin, sending communications, travel, appointments, mail and the www into a general snarlup!
As a rule, the planets are more emphatic during their retrograde phases, marking periods of seemingly inevitable or fated events that relate to their spheres of influence. By fated events I mean those that circumstances thrust upon us, rather than matters we have consciously decided to implement or resolve. In particular, unresolved issues from the past tend to rear their heads and demand to be dealt with.
Retro phases present us with a series of events over which we seem to have little or no conscious control, relating especially to the sign in which the retrogradation occurs—although this need not mean that our responses are outside our control! By way of example, Mercury retrograde in Virgo (analysis; critical ability) awakens quite different sets of circumstances from those generated when Mercury retrogrades into Leo (dramatic; generous; egocentric).
Many astrologers consider that the "Mercury Shadow" begins between two and three weeks before the actual retro station; so the shadow phase begins this time on July 15, when Mercury passes the point of direct station for the first time in this cycle (see the date for the beginning of each shadow period in the table). Weird things often start to happen then, but the really noticeable peculiarities begin when Mercury slows significantly, a few days before the retro station (August 3, 2011)
In general, Mercury rules thinking and perception, processing and disseminating information and all means of communication, commerce, education and transportation. By extension, Mercury rules people who work in these areas, especially those who work with their minds or their wits: writers and orators, consultants, commentators and critics, gossips and spin doctors, salespeople, teachers, travellers, tricksters and thieves. Mercury also has an occult side, so healing, astrology and the transmission of spiritual knowledge are also in his area.
Mercury retrograde gives rise to personal misunderstandings; flawed, disrupted, or delayed communications, negotiations and trade; glitches and breakdowns with phones, computers, cars, buses, and trains. And all of these problems usually arise because some crucial piece of information, or component, has gone astray or awry.
It is not exactly wise to make important decisions while Mercury is retrograde, since it is likely that such decisions will be clouded by misinformation, poor communication and careless thinking. Mercury is all about mental clarity and the power of the mind, so when Mercury is retrograde these intellectual characteristics tend to be less acute than usual, as the critical faculties are dimmed. Make sure you pay attention to the small print!
The key issue here is one of focus. Mercury's retro phase tends to bring unforeseen changes and blockages, but the aggravation and frustration that many of us experience during these periods is often due to our own inability to roll with the punches.
Mercury sets out to restructure our thinking processes and for many of us this is painful and frustrating. Unresolved issues from the past tend to push themselves forward. Moreover, these experiences reveal flaws in our internal organisation as well as our external planning, which can make us feel foolish and inadequate. Keep your eyes peeled; Mercury's retro period gives us the chance to find out just what has been missed!
Mercury retrograde, like any cosmic aspect, affects people differently, depending on where it hits their personal charts. Some people actually prosper under a retro Mercury, especially if Mercury is retrograde but otherwise well-aspected in their birth charts. Some people even excel in the way they play roulette under a retrograde Mercury! It is also a time when matters begun under a previous retro period will come to fruition, or completion as the case may be. Firm decisions that have been previously made when Mercury is travelling normally through the zodiac may be implemented or finalised while Mercury is retrograde without too much worry, for experience shows that this can be done without undue problems arising.
When Mercury is retrograde, everyone's thinking is more introspective; we tend to think about issues and concerns that relate to the sign involved. With Mercury retrograde this time in critical, discriminating, intellectual Virgo, people with this sign prominent in their charts will be especially prone to such introspection. Virgo is both the night-sign domicile and the exaltation of Mercury, so Mercury here is especially potent and significant. It is a Mutable Sign, so the other Mutable Signs, Gemini, Sagittarius and Pisces are also likely to experience considerable conflict between heart and head, along with a good dose of typical disruption.
Mercury turns retro at 1°12' Virgo on August 3, amidst a veritable welter of potent aspects on the day, the most notable being the tight opposition to deceptive Neptune in sensitive Pisces, which is itself in conjunction with Chiron, the wounded healer. Both Neptune and Chiron are retrograde. This aspect advises us not to attempt anything that requires logic and clear thinking, as the relevant information and ideas may be illusory, intentionally deceptive, or even quite dangerous. Trying to make the right decision or to get at the truth is barely possible. This is not the time for travel on water, photography, business transactions (especially those that involve water, drug, or oil-related products or property), or spiritual studies and activities. It's important to resist any tendency to self-pity and despair, even if personal loss or disappointment come up. It would be wise to avoid incurring debt or lending money to others during this phase, which is a time for careful deliberation and cautious behaviour.
it is the time of great personal misunderstandings.
It's not yours faults
Mercury Retrograde
At 03:50 UT (Universal Time) Wednesday, August 3rd, 2011, Mercury the wise communicator—and universal trickster—turns retrograde at 1°12' Virgo in the sign of the Virgin, sending communications, travel, appointments, mail and the www into a general snarlup!
As a rule, the planets are more emphatic during their retrograde phases, marking periods of seemingly inevitable or fated events that relate to their spheres of influence. By fated events I mean those that circumstances thrust upon us, rather than matters we have consciously decided to implement or resolve. In particular, unresolved issues from the past tend to rear their heads and demand to be dealt with.
Retro phases present us with a series of events over which we seem to have little or no conscious control, relating especially to the sign in which the retrogradation occurs—although this need not mean that our responses are outside our control! By way of example, Mercury retrograde in Virgo (analysis; critical ability) awakens quite different sets of circumstances from those generated when Mercury retrogrades into Leo (dramatic; generous; egocentric).
Many astrologers consider that the "Mercury Shadow" begins between two and three weeks before the actual retro station; so the shadow phase begins this time on July 15, when Mercury passes the point of direct station for the first time in this cycle (see the date for the beginning of each shadow period in the table). Weird things often start to happen then, but the really noticeable peculiarities begin when Mercury slows significantly, a few days before the retro station (August 3, 2011)
In general, Mercury rules thinking and perception, processing and disseminating information and all means of communication, commerce, education and transportation. By extension, Mercury rules people who work in these areas, especially those who work with their minds or their wits: writers and orators, consultants, commentators and critics, gossips and spin doctors, salespeople, teachers, travellers, tricksters and thieves. Mercury also has an occult side, so healing, astrology and the transmission of spiritual knowledge are also in his area.
Mercury retrograde gives rise to personal misunderstandings; flawed, disrupted, or delayed communications, negotiations and trade; glitches and breakdowns with phones, computers, cars, buses, and trains. And all of these problems usually arise because some crucial piece of information, or component, has gone astray or awry.
It is not exactly wise to make important decisions while Mercury is retrograde, since it is likely that such decisions will be clouded by misinformation, poor communication and careless thinking. Mercury is all about mental clarity and the power of the mind, so when Mercury is retrograde these intellectual characteristics tend to be less acute than usual, as the critical faculties are dimmed. Make sure you pay attention to the small print!
The key issue here is one of focus. Mercury's retro phase tends to bring unforeseen changes and blockages, but the aggravation and frustration that many of us experience during these periods is often due to our own inability to roll with the punches.
Mercury sets out to restructure our thinking processes and for many of us this is painful and frustrating. Unresolved issues from the past tend to push themselves forward. Moreover, these experiences reveal flaws in our internal organisation as well as our external planning, which can make us feel foolish and inadequate. Keep your eyes peeled; Mercury's retro period gives us the chance to find out just what has been missed!
Mercury retrograde, like any cosmic aspect, affects people differently, depending on where it hits their personal charts. Some people actually prosper under a retro Mercury, especially if Mercury is retrograde but otherwise well-aspected in their birth charts. Some people even excel in the way they play roulette under a retrograde Mercury! It is also a time when matters begun under a previous retro period will come to fruition, or completion as the case may be. Firm decisions that have been previously made when Mercury is travelling normally through the zodiac may be implemented or finalised while Mercury is retrograde without too much worry, for experience shows that this can be done without undue problems arising.
When Mercury is retrograde, everyone's thinking is more introspective; we tend to think about issues and concerns that relate to the sign involved. With Mercury retrograde this time in critical, discriminating, intellectual Virgo, people with this sign prominent in their charts will be especially prone to such introspection. Virgo is both the night-sign domicile and the exaltation of Mercury, so Mercury here is especially potent and significant. It is a Mutable Sign, so the other Mutable Signs, Gemini, Sagittarius and Pisces are also likely to experience considerable conflict between heart and head, along with a good dose of typical disruption.
Mercury turns retro at 1°12' Virgo on August 3, amidst a veritable welter of potent aspects on the day, the most notable being the tight opposition to deceptive Neptune in sensitive Pisces, which is itself in conjunction with Chiron, the wounded healer. Both Neptune and Chiron are retrograde. This aspect advises us not to attempt anything that requires logic and clear thinking, as the relevant information and ideas may be illusory, intentionally deceptive, or even quite dangerous. Trying to make the right decision or to get at the truth is barely possible. This is not the time for travel on water, photography, business transactions (especially those that involve water, drug, or oil-related products or property), or spiritual studies and activities. It's important to resist any tendency to self-pity and despair, even if personal loss or disappointment come up. It would be wise to avoid incurring debt or lending money to others during this phase, which is a time for careful deliberation and cautious behaviour.
Awesome! thanks friend!
I will sit back and read now,
figured it was the stars ... ain't it always
there is an answer to the question somewhere there in the stars
Please Jean read your posts directed at me in a number of threads, before the uninformed name calling on your part, I have done nothing to you.
As I said this is me...
You were and now are, treating me with terrific superiority and you had the gall to then take it to my personal space by pm.
I may not have liked your superior attitude towards me in your posts but I did not attack you. I would rather not derail this thread Jean and just say again please be respectful
I do not need or want your advice nor have I ever requested it.
Please leave me alone.
Wah, wah, wah, Pandora. Where's the smilie with a tear drop when you need one?
Please Jean read your posts directed at me in a number of threads, before the uninformed name calling on your part, I have done nothing to you.
As I said this is me...
You were and now are, treating me with terrific superiority and you had the gall to then take it to my personal space by pm.
I may not have liked your superior attitude towards me in your posts but I did not attack you. I would rather not derail this thread Jean and just say again please be respectful
I do not need or want your advice nor have I ever requested it.
Please leave me alone.
Wah, wah, wah, Pandora. Where's the smilie with a tear drop when you need one?
are you worshiping me or something Jean...
this why all this unwanted attention
you lady do not now how to stop just like the harassing pms. :shh:
now before we look like fools
HA! You are hilarious. That arrogance again. You and your harassing pms. Don't even try to make these folks believe that you're all sweet and innocent and perfect like you try ultimately to be. At least I admit MY faults! I'll say it again. I'm often contradicting, judging, and full of faults, but I will NEVER proclaim to be better than another person or something I'm NOT. I am no better than anyone else.
Now your turn!
And speaking of stopping... you insist on having the last word. Very obvious.
HA! You are hilarious. That arrogance again. You and your harassing pms. Don't even try to make these folks believe that you're all sweet and innocent and perfect like you try ultimately to be. At least I admit MY faults! I'll say it again. I'm often contradicting, judging, and full of faults, but I will NEVER proclaim to be better than another person or something I'm NOT. I am no better than anyone else.
Now your turn!
And speaking of stopping... you insist on having the last word. Very obvious.
HA! You are hilarious. That arrogance again. You and your harassing pms. Don't even try to make these folks believe that you're all sweet and innocent and perfect like you try ultimately to be. At least I admit MY faults! I'll say it again. I'm often contradicting, judging, and full of faults, but I will NEVER proclaim to be better than another person or something I'm NOT. I am no better than anyone else.
Now your turn!
And speaking of stopping... you insist on having the last word. Very obvious.
made you look!!
I'll be waiting for your list of faults... because you should know that the only thing that's perfect in life, is perfectly dead.
HA! You are hilarious. That arrogance again. You and your harassing pms. Don't even try to make these folks believe that you're all sweet and innocent and perfect like you try ultimately to be. At least I admit MY faults! I'll say it again. I'm often contradicting, judging, and full of faults, but I will NEVER proclaim to be better than another person or something I'm NOT. I am no better than anyone else.
Now your turn!
And speaking of stopping... you insist on having the last word. Very obvious.
made you look!!
I'll be waiting for your list of faults... because you should know that the only thing that's perfect in life, is perfectly dead.
Comments
Yes, I’d have no problem if my parents discussed things about me with other people. Especially people I will NEVER meet or know personally. Its obvious to me that parents like the OP is only asking questions for the good of his child.
When did this ever become about the adult? I’ve never even seen a hint of that anywhere discussed here.
So, the OP has no compassion because he seeks out another outlet to attempt to help his family? Again, rather judgemental.
Betrayal?? That’s a little extreme.. he never set out to harm the kid. He’s trying to help.
Not everybody deals with things the same as you.
Of course. But I know there are several things my parents kept from me for protection. You cant be your kids best friend. knowing how to deal with a kid of that age going to questionable websites and chatrooms is not your run-of-the-mill problem. I personally think they best advice you could find for this kind of thing is through your peers and the people you know to give good advice or have LIVED the situation. Three was some great advice in here, and i'll bet GunderP was glad he asked. I would be.
It is wrong, I stand by this... it is my opinion... not judgmental it is my opinion.
I was helping him by advising against posting personal sexual information about his stepson.
That is embarrassing info to be discussed without one's permission ... period.
It became about the Op when it became his problem before his child's.
But perhaps you won't understand this because you said you would do the same to your child.
In my opinion...which may be a professional's opinion also,
this from my past experience with the teens I've cared for.
The situation is private and needs to be dealt with knowledgeable, educational information
between child and parent...
We are not talking about grades dropping or skipping school
we are taking private sexual issues.
I stand by compassion in rearing children .. it brings the best success... not sneaking around
behind a child's back. Trust and principle most important.
In my opinion, yes it is betrayal if this young man would find out he would feel betrayed.
If he had his son's permission first he would not.
Open honest when parenting ... family works together. This I learned amidst the trauma.
My heart would not allow me to do this to a child I love...I would feel guilty.
This is a fallacy I am my child's best friend and those who I have cared for
but you must arm yourself with information, be prepared,
second guess what is coming next.
There are great age appropriate books geared for rearing kids of all ages.
Discussing private things about your child online with your peers is just wrong.
Again we are not talking about grades dropping or skipping school we are taking private sexual issues.
Not sure why I was made to repeat myself... you knew where I stood Jonny and it wasn't going to change.
To the depths of my being this is so wrong on so many levels.
I find it scary that the parents here are ok with discussing their kids private sexual issues online.
Perhaps like my kids, their kids will express a big fat NO WAY! before their parents do it to them.
Makes me see a disconnect there to how a child might feel. Again doesn't matter if they find out
it is still wrong. This as clear as the Golden Rule.
I don't think I need to be further challenged I think everyone understands my opinion
which we all are entitled too... even the unpopular one
I am a child advocate ... and will remain so.
Get an age appropriate book and keep your child's secrets to yourself!
So your advice, you expected him to go back and delete his post? its a bit retroactive and pointless, and only serves to make him feel bad for a choice he made that was obviously out of not knowing what to do in the situation. he was reaching out. maybe he was desperate, we dont know him.
I didnt not say I would do it to my child, I dont know where you got that from - I absolutely never said that and I'm surprised that you would infer that its something I would do to my child! :? I simply saw this as HIS decision to ask, and I thought he got some very in depth helpful responses that could aid his family, and I will not judge him for that. still, its not about the OP, its about his entire family, just my opinion, and when you say he made it about himself, I also see that as kinda accusatory and wrong.
Not sure why I had to repeat myself either, but not everybody relies on books or has faith in something that was written by some distant psychiatrist. Maybe this problem was too distinct to fix with google or some lousy book. None of this was done maliciously, and I just feel that bashing the OP for this is inappropriate at this point. You can have your opinion, I can have mine, the OP will have his, but maybe this was where the age old saying works -- if you dont have something nice to say, dont say anything at all.
The problem the OP was seeking advice on was on how HE can deal with the situation. It was always HIS issue on how to handle things. And, the main focus of the conversation he would be having with his stepson was about INTERNET SAFETY and maybe deceit on his stepson's part in using the brother's computer and lying about it. Not being his biological child may also be a factor in this. He was hoping someone may have had similar issues with unsafe surfing, etc and would be willing to share his/her experience. You, of all, have said here so many times as you were laying your 'traumas' out for the world to read so that it may 'help' someone reading your stories who may be in a similar situation.
So yeah... in the end it was the OP's problem. He did mention gay sites but this was not the main issue for him - it's how the thread developed. Until mega finger pointing and dissing the OP started.
Oh yeah? Good thing there is the word 'may'.
But anyway, I'm sure the conversation between the OP and his stepson has taken place and this thread is no longer relevant. End of.
So you would not do this to your child? I understand.
The books are written normally by family pediatrians
and those that guide families and child rearing specialists.
My opinion is still a good book in hand, a family plan.
Not bashing... never said he was a bad parent or anything directly related to that.
As I said at least once before, never even thought that ...
I have been where he stands....
I have been lost and afraid and found my way with good books
from professionals who give awesome advice
Good thing to know I guess.
I didn't say anything not nice to the OP only ....
I wholly with my heart and soul do not agree with his actions which you know all about Jonny and voice that too when you come upon it
for me this was injustice ... yes that deep ... gonna say so.
I don't care gay or otherwise
talking private personal stuff about another especially your child is wrong IMO.
the fact that it is still betrayal whether the child finds out or not is
like talking behind a friend's back to another friend
whether that friend ever finds out it is still betrayal.
Yes I can talk about my trauma, that is my story to tell, but not my child's.
Would never break their trust probably why we are best friends ... not peers... but friends.
They know I have their back and keep them in my confidence.
Then YOU don't talk about YOUR child.
Simple enough. End of story.
for the OP's child... geez Jean
you best start reading more thoroughly !
Duh Pandora, that's what I'm talking about. Read the bolded again. That's how you parent your kid, so let that be it, instead of you throwing your opinions around like they should apply to everyone else and their kid. I know g asked for advice, but you opinion is ONLY YOUR OPINION. Talking private personal stuff about another especially your child may not be for you, but that doesn't mean everyone else should do the same just because you say so. And besides, we're all pretty anonymous on here, with made up names and all. It's a pretty safe place to talk about touchy situations and asking for advice about a dilemma with a loved one.
sorry for my mistake there missed that.... not accustomed to sassy all that much.
Will NOT make my points again for you Jean, but you could read through this time before judgement
and even name calling like in the other thread.
And no, of course others do not have to be like me nor raise their children as I do.
THAT goes without saying.
But I can give my advice and opinion like everyone else.
Sometimes I actually get it right
Oh and I don't have to be like you no matter how many pms you send
'kettle black'... again... huh... really enough with that.
What has got your panties in such a bundle :?:
So many threads... just on my back .. get off please ... Its bringing me down :(
and I would rather be a happy positive person
that is, unless I see something I perceive as injustice, as in the case of this young man.
Then you are bound to see my outspoken side.
That is me.
speaking of reading more thoroughly, the name is Redrock, not Redcock!
thats just funny
runs to fix ... somewhat
I don't need you to make your points again, since you do it over and over and over...
And you call me judging.... Holy Shit.... Read your own posts for a change.
Name calling? Really now, you're sinking to an all new low. Whatev. :roll:
Happy, positive persona, you like to label yourself. Funny how we've seen the other side quite a bit lately.
Am I poking you too much? Too bad. It's fun. :twisted: That arrogant attitude you have screams of being superior to the rest of us. You need to brought down a few notches off your pedestal now and then.
Seems as if your thread was hijacked by two women hitting each other over their heads with their purses!
As I said this is me...
You were and now are, treating me with terrific superiority and you had the gall to then take it to my personal space by pm.
I may not have liked your superior attitude towards me in your posts but I did not attack you.
I would rather not derail this thread Jean and just say again please be respectful
I do not need or want your advice nor have I ever requested it.
Please leave me alone.
Too late.
This thread as such is finished.
No reply to this post is required.....
might work better this way when you are being harassed.
Not sure why you keep getting involved though :?
So yes please let this go.... whomever!
mercury is in retrograde
it is the time of great personal misunderstandings.
It's not yours faults
Mercury Retrograde
At 03:50 UT (Universal Time) Wednesday, August 3rd, 2011, Mercury the wise communicator—and universal trickster—turns retrograde at 1°12' Virgo in the sign of the Virgin, sending communications, travel, appointments, mail and the www into a general snarlup!
As a rule, the planets are more emphatic during their retrograde phases, marking periods of seemingly inevitable or fated events that relate to their spheres of influence. By fated events I mean those that circumstances thrust upon us, rather than matters we have consciously decided to implement or resolve. In particular, unresolved issues from the past tend to rear their heads and demand to be dealt with.
Retro phases present us with a series of events over which we seem to have little or no conscious control, relating especially to the sign in which the retrogradation occurs—although this need not mean that our responses are outside our control! By way of example, Mercury retrograde in Virgo (analysis; critical ability) awakens quite different sets of circumstances from those generated when Mercury retrogrades into Leo (dramatic; generous; egocentric).
Many astrologers consider that the "Mercury Shadow" begins between two and three weeks before the actual retro station; so the shadow phase begins this time on July 15, when Mercury passes the point of direct station for the first time in this cycle (see the date for the beginning of each shadow period in the table). Weird things often start to happen then, but the really noticeable peculiarities begin when Mercury slows significantly, a few days before the retro station (August 3, 2011)
In general, Mercury rules thinking and perception, processing and disseminating information and all means of communication, commerce, education and transportation. By extension, Mercury rules people who work in these areas, especially those who work with their minds or their wits: writers and orators, consultants, commentators and critics, gossips and spin doctors, salespeople, teachers, travellers, tricksters and thieves. Mercury also has an occult side, so healing, astrology and the transmission of spiritual knowledge are also in his area.
Mercury retrograde gives rise to personal misunderstandings; flawed, disrupted, or delayed communications, negotiations and trade; glitches and breakdowns with phones, computers, cars, buses, and trains. And all of these problems usually arise because some crucial piece of information, or component, has gone astray or awry.
It is not exactly wise to make important decisions while Mercury is retrograde, since it is likely that such decisions will be clouded by misinformation, poor communication and careless thinking. Mercury is all about mental clarity and the power of the mind, so when Mercury is retrograde these intellectual characteristics tend to be less acute than usual, as the critical faculties are dimmed. Make sure you pay attention to the small print!
The key issue here is one of focus. Mercury's retro phase tends to bring unforeseen changes and blockages, but the aggravation and frustration that many of us experience during these periods is often due to our own inability to roll with the punches.
Mercury sets out to restructure our thinking processes and for many of us this is painful and frustrating. Unresolved issues from the past tend to push themselves forward. Moreover, these experiences reveal flaws in our internal organisation as well as our external planning, which can make us feel foolish and inadequate. Keep your eyes peeled; Mercury's retro period gives us the chance to find out just what has been missed!
Mercury retrograde, like any cosmic aspect, affects people differently, depending on where it hits their personal charts. Some people actually prosper under a retro Mercury, especially if Mercury is retrograde but otherwise well-aspected in their birth charts. Some people even excel in the way they play roulette under a retrograde Mercury! It is also a time when matters begun under a previous retro period will come to fruition, or completion as the case may be. Firm decisions that have been previously made when Mercury is travelling normally through the zodiac may be implemented or finalised while Mercury is retrograde without too much worry, for experience shows that this can be done without undue problems arising.
When Mercury is retrograde, everyone's thinking is more introspective; we tend to think about issues and concerns that relate to the sign involved. With Mercury retrograde this time in critical, discriminating, intellectual Virgo, people with this sign prominent in their charts will be especially prone to such introspection. Virgo is both the night-sign domicile and the exaltation of Mercury, so Mercury here is especially potent and significant. It is a Mutable Sign, so the other Mutable Signs, Gemini, Sagittarius and Pisces are also likely to experience considerable conflict between heart and head, along with a good dose of typical disruption.
Mercury turns retro at 1°12' Virgo on August 3, amidst a veritable welter of potent aspects on the day, the most notable being the tight opposition to deceptive Neptune in sensitive Pisces, which is itself in conjunction with Chiron, the wounded healer. Both Neptune and Chiron are retrograde. This aspect advises us not to attempt anything that requires logic and clear thinking, as the relevant information and ideas may be illusory, intentionally deceptive, or even quite dangerous. Trying to make the right decision or to get at the truth is barely possible. This is not the time for travel on water, photography, business transactions (especially those that involve water, drug, or oil-related products or property), or spiritual studies and activities. It's important to resist any tendency to self-pity and despair, even if personal loss or disappointment come up. It would be wise to avoid incurring debt or lending money to others during this phase, which is a time for careful deliberation and cautious behaviour.
I will sit back and read now,
figured it was the stars ... ain't it always
there is an answer to the question somewhere there in the stars
could use a thread like that
Thank you ....(see AET)
Wah, wah, wah, Pandora. Where's the smilie with a tear drop when you need one?
The minute you jump off that pedestal...
this why all this unwanted attention
you lady do not now how to stop just like the harassing pms. :shh:
now before we look like fools
HA!
Now your turn!
And speaking of stopping... you insist on having the last word. Very obvious.
I'll be waiting for your list of faults... because you should know that the only thing that's perfect in life, is perfectly dead.
:wtf: