How to Talk to Little Girls

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  • whispering hands
    whispering hands Under your skin Posts: 13,527
    Having been a Nanny for five years once upon a time.. I have found THIS with kids:
    1. at first meeting allow the child draw you into the conversation of their choice, it will always be something different for each child, and NEVER feign interest, but listen intently.. you may be suprised at what you learn.
    2. NEVER talk "down" to children, they pick up on this right away, and consider it a very severe form of rejection. The more often you do this the more the child begins to resent you, and see you as an enemy.
    3. Discuss outward appearance, as needed, but never more, especially in younger children. As in, most young children need to be reminded to be presentable, because at this young age, they really, honestly, don't care! However when a child goes to great lengths to dress nicely, it is more than acceptable to make verbal note of it.
    4. there is nothing of greater influence on a child than leading by example.. As in, if a little girl sees that her mother gets up umpteen hours early just to make herself "presentable" to the public, the girl will pick up on that and think this is what she is supposed to do. Same with little boys and their male role models. Superficiality is something that is taught, it is NOT of our nature..
    5. be mindful of your conversations around children, they are BRILLIANT in comparison to the common thoughts concerning their intelligence; they are also sponges and will repeat and mimick all that you say and do..As I said earlier they learn from watching us. They also learn their values in life from what they see us doing..again like I was saying before if looks are what drives you, that will drive your children as well.
    6. always be open minded. Every child is different and needs encouragement in different areas apart from other children or their siblings, as well as along with them. the main point is every child should be raised according to the needs he/she presents..if the child doesn't care for themselves properly, breach the subject of present-ability, if the child is TOO focused on their appearance, breach the subject of confidence.
    As parents, the child should be well-rounded, intelligent, and well mannered in the end.
    As guests, I again say find out where the child is at individually and allow them to share those things with you. If you have something cool to add, do so, other than that, accept the fact that a child is just THAT a child, moldable, and influencial, and as the adult it is your responsibility to be mindful of that influence.
  • Jeanwah
    Jeanwah Posts: 6,363
    I realized today that when I talk to kids (which is often since I have a daughter, and have been to the playground a few times this week) they are really interested in the wraps I use to cover up my skin graft on my arm, and the cane I have to use from a broken femur. I love this, even though the topic of commenting on appearance is reversed from this thread subject (kids commenting on adults' appearance). I LOVE their curiosity and innocent interest in what's going on with my appearance, since it's different. No adult ever asks me the questions I get from intuitive kids.

    Just wanted to post that. :)
  • Digital Twilight
    Digital Twilight Posts: 5,642
    Jeanwah wrote:
    I realized today that when I talk to kids (which is often since I have a daughter, and have been to the playground a few times this week) they are really interested in the wraps I use to cover up my skin graft on my arm, and the cane I have to use from a broken femur. I love this, even though the topic of commenting on appearance is reversed from this thread subject (kids commenting on adults' appearance). I LOVE their curiosity and innocent interest in what's going on with my appearance, since it's different. No adult ever asks me the questions I get from intuitive kids.

    Just wanted to post that. :)

    Children don't have the filters that adults do. As grown ups we are more sensitive to the personal issues that can emerge from something like that so we don't want to ask so as not to upset your feelings etc. It's a bit of a shame that as we get older we build these walls that prevents a lot of honest, open debate sometimes.

    Kids are just curious little buggers and will say anything that comes into their heads.
  • pandora
    pandora Posts: 21,855
    Maybe a bit off subject but related

    I clearly remember 23 years ago in a check out line at the grocery store,
    my daughter then two having a hissy fit over something she wanted.
    I probably looked tired and overwhelmed and the old lady in front of me,
    about my age now :lol: said...

    'sign of a determined woman'

    her words really put it in perspective for me and were encouraging.

    So...

    Young or old, child or adult, when we come in contact just say something nice and encouraging,
    everyone enjoys a compliment, everyone needs love.


    Even after a lifetime the smallest gestures
    still touch the heart and are remembered and they do change lives.

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