facebook and ex's

brother123

I just had the weirdest yet confused yet pleasantly kind conversation with an ex girlfriend

has this happened to anyone else? Im sure it has share your story

Cradles Broken Glass

I denied my ex's friend request. I don't want to go there again, it didn't end well and he was a jerk that treated me very badly. I'm married now and see no reason why I need a friendship with him. That's just my thoughts on the subject.

Loulou

Oh My GOD!!! You just wrote my thoughts exactly!!! I refused mine too and got the hell of there!!!

Cradles Broken Glass wrote:

I denied my ex's friend request. I don't want to go there again, it didn't end well and he was a jerk that treated me very badly. I'm married now and see no reason why I need a friendship with him. That's just my thoughts on the subject.

SVRDhand13

Mine wished me a happy birthday the last 2 years even though we had a very bad breakup about 6 years ago :? .

(we became "friends" on Facebook when we were dating and neither one of us deleted the other)

Cradles Broken Glass

Loulou wrote:

Oh My GOD!!! You just wrote my thoughts exactly!!! I refused mine too and got the hell of there!!!

Cradles Broken Glass wrote:

I denied my ex's friend request. I don't want to go there again, it didn't end well and he was a jerk that treated me very badly. I'm married now and see no reason why I need a friendship with him. That's just my thoughts on the subject.

Agreed, now something funny about his is that he is a huge PJ fan and I made sure word got back to him that I met and hugged Eddie Vedder. All I had to do was tell a mutual friend that I knew would get word back to him and voila. I know that is juvenile, but still, it felt good.

Loulou

Cradles Broken Glass wrote:

Loulou wrote:

Oh My GOD!!! You just wrote my thoughts exactly!!! I refused mine too and got the hell of there!!!

Cradles Broken Glass wrote:

I denied my ex's friend request. I don't want to go there again, it didn't end well and he was a jerk that treated me very badly. I'm married now and see no reason why I need a friendship with him. That's just my thoughts on the subject.

Agreed, now something funny about his is that he is a huge PJ fan and I made sure word got back to him that I met and hugged Eddie Vedder. All I had to do was tell a mutual friend that I knew would get word back to him and voila. I know that is juvenile, but still, it felt good.

Love it!

The Juggler

question....my ex from a loooooooooooong time ago and i have a mutual fb friend. this was the first girl i loved. breakup was kinda bad but a long time ago--took forever go get over. but she is now divorced with a kid. i am now married.

when we realized we had a mutual friend and commented on the same post a couple years ago, it sparked one of those "hey how are you?" message exchanges...but we never became facebook friends. and haven't talked since.

every once in a while (like just a couple times a year maybe) i glance at her page out of curiosity. that's how i noticed she got divorced last year. tonight i randomly check it and find out her mom passed. i really liked her family, especially her mom. seems like a sudden thing. she was only 60-ish. how in the hell do i message her my condolences without seeming like a weirdo? she literally died just a week ago. i feel compelled to say i'm sorry to hear the news and all but i feel strange since we're not even facebook friends.

any advice?

Who Princess

The Juggler wrote:

question....my ex from a loooooooooooong time ago and i have a mutual fb friend. this was the first girl i loved. breakup was kinda bad but a long time ago--took forever go get over. but she is now divorced with a kid. i am now married.

when we realized we had a mutual friend and commented on the same post a couple years ago, it sparked one of those "hey how are you?" message exchanges...but we never became facebook friends. and haven't talked since.

every once in a while (like just a couple times a year maybe) i glance at her page out of curiosity. that's how i noticed she got divorced last year. tonight i randomly check it and find out her mom passed. i really liked her family, especially her mom. seems like a sudden thing. she was only 60-ish. how in the hell do i message her my condolences without seeming like a weirdo? she literally died just a week ago. i feel compelled to say i'm sorry to hear the news and all but i feel strange since we're not even facebook friends.

any advice?

My guess is that she and the rest of her family will appreciate the condolences and not even think about how you learned of her mom's death.

The Juggler

Who Princess wrote:

The Juggler wrote:

question....my ex from a loooooooooooong time ago and i have a mutual fb friend. this was the first girl i loved. breakup was kinda bad but a long time ago--took forever go get over. but she is now divorced with a kid. i am now married.

when we realized we had a mutual friend and commented on the same post a couple years ago, it sparked one of those "hey how are you?" message exchanges...but we never became facebook friends. and haven't talked since.

every once in a while (like just a couple times a year maybe) i glance at her page out of curiosity. that's how i noticed she got divorced last year. tonight i randomly check it and find out her mom passed. i really liked her family, especially her mom. seems like a sudden thing. she was only 60-ish. how in the hell do i message her my condolences without seeming like a weirdo? she literally died just a week ago. i feel compelled to say i'm sorry to hear the news and all but i feel strange since we're not even facebook friends.

any advice?

My guess is that she and the rest of her family will appreciate the condolences and not even think about how you learned of her mom's death.

you might be right.....i am going to a college reunion thing soon (we dated in college) so i could make it seem like was going to message her something about that and then say how i saw this on her page.... :?

CAVSTARR313

Facebook drama.. stop drinking the koolaid!!

Who Princess

The Juggler wrote:

Who Princess wrote:

The Juggler wrote:

every once in a while (like just a couple times a year maybe) i glance at her page out of curiosity. that's how i noticed she got divorced last year. tonight i randomly check it and find out her mom passed. i really liked her family, especially her mom. seems like a sudden thing. she was only 60-ish. how in the hell do i message her my condolences without seeming like a weirdo? she literally died just a week ago. i feel compelled to say i'm sorry to hear the news and all but i feel strange since we're not even facebook friends.

any advice?

My guess is that she and the rest of her family will appreciate the condolences and not even think about how you learned of her mom's death.

you might be right.....i am going to a college reunion thing soon (we dated in college) so i could make it seem like was going to message her something about that and then say how i saw this on her page.... :?

You could have heard about it from a mutual friend, there's all kinds of ways you could have found out about it.

After my dad's death, the notes and cards from people really meant a lot to me. I never stopped to wonder how anyone found out he had died, I just appreciated the sentiment expressed.

STAYSEA

Oh Hell! Here I go...
This past October I get a call from my mom! she tells me to use her facebook thingy. I sign in and find out my husband is divorced? Oh yeah , it happened! So I am divorced.
My "friends" tell me to join facebook if I want to meet friends. (Hell no, I pay to talk to random pj fans!) Yesterday , My ex- mother in law tells me how much she hates my ex's new girlfriend.
I call my friend in Florida.. have you met her.. "yeah.. she's nice" . My gosh ! they met on match dot com months ago!
At least he was a man enough to divorce me before dating her. I was with him for 15 years!!!! I was a kid! He's a brat. I'm no way going to take him back.. after tramp stamp.. tattoo girl is finished,, yuck.
My first Pearl Jam concert, he wanted to Leave before the encore (yellow ledbetter) (never giving that boot away), I should have known then, but
I was 14?
Ex's should stay on The Facebook!
I agree!!!!!

aspoonfulweighsaton

I'm friends with my ex-wife on FB mainly so she can see how happy my life is now. She cheated on me and ruined what we had barely a year into it and thank God we didn't have any kids or anything. Anyway, she's been through another husband since me and seems destined to that kind of life.

Meanwhile, I re-married about five years later, had a son three years after that, and now have a little girl to round out our family. We're cool with one another, but I love knowing she knows she screwed things up and how great things have turned out for me.

STAYSEA

I have been to three shows!! no kids or husband. makes me sick :twisted:

The Juggler

Who Princess wrote:

The Juggler wrote:

Who Princess wrote:

My guess is that she and the rest of her family will appreciate the condolences and not even think about how you learned of her mom's death.

you might be right.....i am going to a college reunion thing soon (we dated in college) so i could make it seem like was going to message her something about that and then say how i saw this on her page.... :?

You could have heard about it from a mutual friend, there's all kinds of ways you could have found out about it.

After my dad's death, the notes and cards from people really meant a lot to me. I never stopped to wonder how anyone found out he had died, I just appreciated the sentiment expressed.

thanks for the advice wp. much appreciated.

DURP

I'm over 30 therefore i am too old for a Facebook page.

Ex's are ex's for a reason move along.

LikeAnOcean

DURP wrote:

I'm over 30 therefore i am too old for a Facebook page.

Ex's are ex's for a reason move along.

Well I'm 33 and say.. delete 'em before you add the next one.

STAYSEA

Oh please! I have to remind my ex that his father passed away this week!
And call my ex-mother in law
In the famous words of Justin Timberlake..
"Cry me a river..."
"What goes around comes around... comes around then back around.."

I'm the one crying that my ex father in law died six years ago. My ex wouldn't even open an email.. if it wasn't business.. :roll:

kenny olav

I got a few ex's on facebook... because I'm still friends with them.

Kinda amusing watching other peoples' relationship drama go down on facebook sometimes. It's like being given a free pass to be a voyeur. Ah, the modern age.

SweetChildofMine

Good stalker fodder.

Mamasan23

I don't think it would be bad for you to send her your condolences...just make sure that it doesn't inadvertently lead to some kind of stronger relationship. Not saying that you would, but exes are a tricky thing and it's easy to fall back into old habits. I would send her your condolences and just leave it at that, you know?

Wobbie

Facebook blows.

The Juggler

imalive wrote:

Facebook blows.

beat it old man

Wobbie

The Juggler wrote:

imalive wrote:

Facebook blows.

beat it old man

that vistaprint offer of 250 business cards for $10 is a good deal.

iluvcats

I saw one of my ex's on FB and I see that he put the same lies in his profile about having a degree that he told me. After we broke up, I saw his brother and I asked him why he did what he did for a living if he had a degree in ______. He laughed and said he doesn't have a degree.

he.who.forgets

Cradles Broken Glass wrote:

I denied my ex's friend request. I don't want to go there again, it didn't end well and he was a jerk that treated me very badly. I'm married now and see no reason why I need a friendship with him. That's just my thoughts on the subject.

Funny, this is pretty much my situation in reverse
I dated a girl whom I liked a lot in HS, but I ended up screwing it up. It wasnt a trainwreck of a breakup but after HS we didnt speak nor see eachother very much. Every now and then we'll bump into each other (I'm happily married for 5 years now) and we're both very cordial as is my wife. But she's denied my friend request. Not sure if A. she hates me and thinks I'm a turd, B. Is taking the same stance as you, or C. Avoiding pissing off my wife. We all have about 50-60 mutual friends. Doesnt bother me, but like I said I always thought she was a great person and 12+ years later I think it's perfectly normal to stay in touch...or am I being creepy?

RKCNDY

he.who.forgets wrote:

Cradles Broken Glass wrote:

I denied my ex's friend request. I don't want to go there again, it didn't end well and he was a jerk that treated me very badly. I'm married now and see no reason why I need a friendship with him. That's just my thoughts on the subject.

Funny, this is pretty much my situation in reverse
I dated a girl whom I liked a lot in HS, but I ended up screwing it up. It wasnt a trainwreck of a breakup but after HS we didnt speak nor see eachother very much. Every now and then we'll bump into each other (I'm happily married for 5 years now) and we're both very cordial as is my wife. But she's denied my friend request. Not sure if A. she hates me and thinks I'm a turd, B. Is taking the same stance as you, or C. Avoiding pissing off my wife. We all have about 50-60 mutual friends. Doesnt bother me, but like I said I always thought she was a great person and 12+ years later I think it's perfectly normal to stay in touch...or am I being creepy?

she prob 'doesn't want to go there'.

I'd like to see what some old friend's are up to...but, they are the kind of people that wouldn't sign up for it. (back in the day they were against pagers/cell phones) Plus there are people I don't want to have anything to do with. Though it might be fun to get a friend request from them and then tell them to F-off...

Who Princess

imalive wrote:

Facebook blows.

I agree, although we use it at work as another way of marketing. When you're a nonprofit, you have to be creative!

I've been with the same man for so long (all my life ) that this whole discussion of how to handle your exes on FB is out of the realm of my existence.

JonnyPistachio

facebook and ex g/fs dont work. Especially if you're married. just move on...just my opinion

Mamasan23

JonnyPistachio wrote:

facebook and ex g/fs dont work. Especially if you're married. just move on...just my opinion

I tend to agree with this. My hubby told me not too long ago that his ex-gf (first love) facebooked him and asked him to 'catch up' over a cup of coffee. :evil: :evil: :evil: Of course he said no...I just couldn't believe she had the nerve to ask. She better hope to never meet me in a dark alley at some point...

PJPixie

My ex husband (been divorced since 2002) passed away 11 months ago, an ex boyfriend of mine (from after the divorce) sent me an email saying "I was stalking your facebook and saw that your ex husband passed away......I'm so sorry.........." etc. My Ex-Boyfriend and I are not facebook friends but we have stayed in contact via email (he's in another state) every now and then. I always felt like if I tried to friend him on Facebook he would deny my request as I am from an earlier part of his life, which is very different now.....and I think he probably felt/feels the same way about friending me on Facebook.............anyway, I found it "endearing" (is that the right word?) when he emailed me and said he was "stalking my facebook"............lol. I have issues........., I know.