picture it.....winnipeg............july 2, 2007.......hot as a fuck.........the white stripes are playing for a sweaty and messy crowd at the MTS Centre.
show over........time to hit the Tavern next door for some beers.......long walk up the stairs to the patio........myself, my two mates Nat and Kevo decide, with 10 others to take the elevator up the 4 floors instead of walking.......halfway up..........*clunk*.......WHAT THE FUCK......the elevator is stuck. 13 people crammed in this itty bitty elevator........late friday night on a long weekend.....35 degrees celcius...keep calm......someone's coming.........half hour later and Kevo thinks it's funny to start jumping up and down.........Nat is crying on the floor.........Kevo nearly gets beaten down.........dumbasses start freaking out that we're going to suffocate......."yeah, they build these things airtight, morons"........fuckwad in a fedora in corner across from me announces he can no longer hold it.............he goes.......in his hat.......60 minutes later.........elevator repair man opens door......WON'T LET US OUT.....he counts every head, and says "can't you read the sign, it says MAX 12 people!"...... gives us shit for having more than 12 people on board (so I guess 12 400 pound people would be fine, but 13 150 pound people are not :? )........elevator operator narrowly escapes strangling......I narrowly escape a homicide conviction........moral of the story........I now ALWAYS go to the pisser before I get in an elevator......and so should you.........
I accidentally pissed on my dashboard stuck in traffic for the Noblesville show last May. I was driving in a traffic jam and it slipped out of the bottle. Shouldn't have worn skinny jeans.
I could totally see Ms. Wes C.Addle and Paul David's stories as the beginnings of a new web series in the style of one of those over dramatized reality shows like "World's Most dangerous Prisons" or "Locked Up Abroad"..."Concert Stories of Horror!"
Lots of blurry slo-motion reenactments while the storyteller is interviewed in front of a completely black backdrop with very little lighting.
Scene 1, Act 2:
Speaker is choked up as she says: "And that's when I realized that I was rolling around in piss"
(Dramatic music comes in over slo-motion b-roll of a wet pant leg rolling around on the ground. We see a t-shirt covered in feces off in the distance)
I posted this somewhere else, but I believe is sorta fits....
In Indy this may, there was a tornado watch which meant about 2 extra hours of tailgating- never a good thing. I drank too much, smoked too much, and perhaps had a bit too much hash brownie.
Finally, when it was time to enter, there was a mad rush and I needed to piss. So, I ditched The Wolf in the line and got separated. I jetted for the port-o-potties and found that there was a huge line. So, I cut in front of a bunch of drunk DMB frat-boys and tried to make nice with them and told them that I was seriously going to piss myself. A sober boy said that was fine. So, I stood there and chatted a bit more, waiting for the next available piss hole.
Enter: one very drunk fuck. He started to get in my face and was pretty much dry-humping me. At one point he was unzipping his pants. Mind you, this was at about 7:30 pm and in front of hundreds of people.
I pushed him off of me and he continued to get in my face. His friends were trying to pull him off of me and keep him back, to no avail. He was pushing me closer to the port-o-potties which were on an incline. I pushed him really fucking hard and said I would rip his dick off if he touched me again. Well, he pushed and I went flying, smashed my forehead into the concrete and just laid there.... laughing hysterically because all this happened. As I was laying on the concrete, I realized that the ground was wet. I was laying infront of the toilets and there was definite streams of piss coming from them. This made me laugh even harder. FML.
I'm sure it was hilarious to all the people waiting in line behind us.
Moral of the story- I will just pop-a-squat, whenever needed from here on out, for the rest of my life.
I'm serious...Ms. Wes C.Addle needs her own web series. "The Adventures of a drunk concert goer"
We could get Budweiser and WM (Waste Management) to sponsor it. I'm just disappointed that I was at both the CBus and the Indy shows last year and didn't stumble upon either of these scenes.
I'm serious...Ms. Wes C.Addle needs her own web series. "The Adventures of a drunk concert goer"
We could get Budweiser and WM (Waste Management) to sponsor it. I'm just disappointed that I was at both the CBus and the Indy shows last year and didn't stumble upon either of these scenes.
fuck the web...she needs her own reality show...this i'd watch! :shock:
I posted this somewhere else, but I believe is sorta fits....
In Indy this may, there was a tornado watch which meant about 2 extra hours of tailgating- never a good thing. I drank too much, smoked too much, and perhaps had a bit too much hash brownie.
Finally, when it was time to enter, there was a mad rush and I needed to piss. So, I ditched The Wolf in the line and got separated. I jetted for the port-o-potties and found that there was a huge line. So, I cut in front of a bunch of drunk DMB frat-boys and tried to make nice with them and told them that I was seriously going to piss myself. A sober boy said that was fine. So, I stood there and chatted a bit more, waiting for the next available piss hole.
Enter: one very drunk fuck. He started to get in my face and was pretty much dry-humping me. At one point he was unzipping his pants. Mind you, this was at about 7:30 pm and in front of hundreds of people.
I pushed him off of me and he continued to get in my face. His friends were trying to pull him off of me and keep him back, to no avail. He was pushing me closer to the port-o-potties which were on an incline. I pushed him really fucking hard and said I would rip his dick off if he touched me again. Well, he pushed and I went flying, smashed my forehead into the concrete and just laid there.... laughing hysterically because all this happened. As I was laying on the concrete, I realized that the ground was wet. I was laying infront of the toilets and there was definite streams of piss coming from them. This made me laugh even harder. FML.
I'm sure it was hilarious to all the people waiting in line behind us.
Moral of the story- I will just pop-a-squat, whenever needed from here on out, for the rest of my life.
I'm serious...Ms. Wes C.Addle needs her own web series. "The Adventures of a drunk concert goer"
We could get Budweiser and WM (Waste Management) to sponsor it. I'm just disappointed that I was at both the CBus and the Indy shows last year and didn't stumble upon either of these scenes.
fuck the web...she needs her own reality show...this i'd watch! :shock:
I say that all the time! I need one of those cameras that hang above my head and and see my point-of-view. People might find that odd though...
I have a feeling it would be similar to events on Jersey Shore, except entertaining. I could be like Snooki, but not a complete fuckwad!
This post has taken an unexpected turn. The OP who was NOT ok with a pissed on/shat on toilet IS ok with a left behind shat upon t-shirt and was so ok with it that she carried it around all night and gave it to a friend as a gift! This thing has more unexpected twists and turns than an M. Night Shayamalan film. I now want to know the story behind how a t-shirt...A T-SHIRT was shat upon and left in a stall in CBus. And for the record...as a born and raised Ohioan, it is not common practice for us to shit upon our clothing. That's typically left to those from the state directly north of us.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
My first PJ show in '96 we rented a Mini-van and had some beverages on the road...
Needless to say the 1 liter pepsi bottle cam in handy on the road trip
In Ontario our main highway going from Windsor to Toronto the government in its infinite wisdom decided to redo all the service centre's and closed most of them, and I drive a stretch of that highway to work so after they closed I'd usually see these 2 litre bottles at the road, maybe 2-3 times a week and never seen it before. I was telling my brother in law this who is truck driver, and he told me that it was truckers doing pissing in bottles and tossing them because it was to inconvenient to get right off the highway , imagine the highway workers.
I have certain rules I live by ... My First Rule ... I don't believe anything the government tells me ... George Carlin
"Life Is What Happens To You When Your Busy Making Other Plans" John Lennon
My worst bathroom experience was in Paris. We were at the stade de france at a concert and you know europeans are not nearly as uptight as people from the good ole USA are. The line for the women's room was way long and moving way slow so I decided just to go into the men's room. There was liquid about 3 inches deep in the bathroom and it was totally disgusting. I rolled up my pant legs before I went in so there would be no danger of them touching the ground. But the times I did go to the women's room it was not much better. I think people were just going where ever they could. They urine was flowing freely.
Comments
"and knowing is half the battle."
-GI Joe
Lots of blurry slo-motion reenactments while the storyteller is interviewed in front of a completely black backdrop with very little lighting.
Scene 1, Act 2:
Speaker is choked up as she says: "And that's when I realized that I was rolling around in piss"
(Dramatic music comes in over slo-motion b-roll of a wet pant leg rolling around on the ground. We see a t-shirt covered in feces off in the distance)
In Indy this may, there was a tornado watch which meant about 2 extra hours of tailgating- never a good thing. I drank too much, smoked too much, and perhaps had a bit too much hash brownie.
Finally, when it was time to enter, there was a mad rush and I needed to piss. So, I ditched The Wolf in the line and got separated. I jetted for the port-o-potties and found that there was a huge line. So, I cut in front of a bunch of drunk DMB frat-boys and tried to make nice with them and told them that I was seriously going to piss myself. A sober boy said that was fine. So, I stood there and chatted a bit more, waiting for the next available piss hole.
Enter: one very drunk fuck. He started to get in my face and was pretty much dry-humping me. At one point he was unzipping his pants. Mind you, this was at about 7:30 pm and in front of hundreds of people.
I pushed him off of me and he continued to get in my face. His friends were trying to pull him off of me and keep him back, to no avail. He was pushing me closer to the port-o-potties which were on an incline. I pushed him really fucking hard and said I would rip his dick off if he touched me again. Well, he pushed and I went flying, smashed my forehead into the concrete and just laid there.... laughing hysterically because all this happened. As I was laying on the concrete, I realized that the ground was wet. I was laying infront of the toilets and there was definite streams of piss coming from them. This made me laugh even harder. FML.
I'm sure it was hilarious to all the people waiting in line behind us.
Moral of the story- I will just pop-a-squat, whenever needed from here on out, for the rest of my life.
We could get Budweiser and WM (Waste Management) to sponsor it. I'm just disappointed that I was at both the CBus and the Indy shows last year and didn't stumble upon either of these scenes.
fuck the web...she needs her own reality show...this i'd watch! :shock:
Wow.
I have a feeling it would be similar to events on Jersey Shore, except entertaining. I could be like Snooki, but not a complete fuckwad!
Not exactly setting the bar very high are you
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
In Ontario our main highway going from Windsor to Toronto the government in its infinite wisdom decided to redo all the service centre's and closed most of them, and I drive a stretch of that highway to work so after they closed I'd usually see these 2 litre bottles at the road, maybe 2-3 times a week and never seen it before. I was telling my brother in law this who is truck driver, and he told me that it was truckers doing pissing in bottles and tossing them because it was to inconvenient to get right off the highway
"Life Is What Happens To You When Your Busy Making Other Plans" John Lennon
POP A SQUAT. new favourite saying.
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014