Single parents - dating advice?

he still stands

Suzi78 wrote:

Just give her a chance, and if you find yourself really liking her company and personality I'm sure you'll soon realize how ridiculous your thinking is/was. Seriously, I don't mean to be hard on you, but I used to think like that when I was much younger too. But then you kind of grow up...although it takes much longer for some people

Thanks. I think I'll do that. I just have this horrible feeling that I'm going to let her down and that is the last thing I want to do because she is such a great person. My thinking was that if I could let her down now, it would be better than later... and I would only do that if the consensus was that if I'm not attracted to her now then I should go ahead and end the "relationship."

small town beck

I agree you can't control how you feel and some things are deal breakers.

I did point out though perhaps once you get to know her, her hotness factor may actually go up.

he still stands

Yeah, right on. One day at a time. Who knows what'll happen?

I mean come on... she asked me something like (paraphrasing) "what do you like most about yourself" and I said "my excellent hair.... <pause>.... that and my golden D*CK!"....

and she about fell off her barstool laughing. THAT is my kinda girl!!!

Suzi78

he still stands wrote:

Suzi78 wrote:

Just give her a chance, and if you find yourself really liking her company and personality I'm sure you'll soon realize how ridiculous your thinking is/was. Seriously, I don't mean to be hard on you, but I used to think like that when I was much younger too. But then you kind of grow up...although it takes much longer for some people

Thanks. I think I'll do that. I just have this horrible feeling that I'm going to let her down and that is the last thing I want to do because she is such a great person. My thinking was that if I could let her down now, it would be better than later... and I would only do that if the consensus was that if I'm not attracted to her now then I should go ahead and end the "relationship."

If I were you, I would probably go out with her a few more times, without any sex (which shouldn't be too hard since you're not THAT attracted to her physically, right?) because that will just make it more complicated if you're going to end it, and see if your feelings about her change.

81

this thread needs pics :P or at least a facebook link.

i mean, really, how are we suppose to offer good advice without seeing what we are working with.

norm

Suzi78 wrote:

If I were you, I would probably go out with her a few more times, without any sex (which shouldn't be too hard since you're not THAT attracted to her physically, right?) because that will just make it more complicated if you're going to end it, and see if your feelings about her change.

well he's already banged her twice...i guess she's attractive enough :?

81

he still stands wrote:

You guys are kinda being assholes too, ya know.

it's what we do, it's who we are.

dimitrispearljam

81 wrote:

he still stands wrote:

You guys are kinda being assholes too, ya know.

it's what we do, it's who we are.

Drowned Out

he still stands wrote:

But come on (fella's back me up)...

No f'n way man
I can't count the number of times I've decided against relationship threads that would've exposed my flaws to the pit...I'm not about to do so on your behalf! you made your bed...;)

Seriously....give her a chance (like Suzi said; prefereably w/o sex muddying your judgment - good luck with that)....It sounds like she's worth it, and you know it. Don't LOOK for excuses not to like her....If the doubts persist, end it quick, don't string her along.

Suzi78

norm wrote:

Suzi78 wrote:

If I were you, I would probably go out with her a few more times, without any sex (which shouldn't be too hard since you're not THAT attracted to her physically, right?) because that will just make it more complicated if you're going to end it, and see if your feelings about her change.

well he's already banged her twice...i guess she's attractive enough :?

Maybe he put a pillow on her face.

Or wait! Was it that the tummy wasn't flat enough?

Hmmm...it's confusing.

81

Suzi78 wrote:

Maybe he put a pillow on her face.

Or wait! Was it that the tummy wasn't flat enough?

Hmmm...it's confusing.

woof woof woof :P problem solved

Suzi78

81 wrote:

this thread needs pics :P or at least a facebook link.

i mean, really, how are we suppose to offer good advice without seeing what we are working with.

Totally agree! We need pics of both of you so we can rate you, your hotness and your compatibility.

rick1zoo2

I would have to say it sounds like she looks good enough that he dated her and stuff. Sounds like a case of "grass is greener" and it normally isn't once you get there.

I think what is more important is how well you get along together, how she makes you feel. And really that will take more time, and whats the rush?

JonnyPistachio

he still stands wrote:

Yeah, right on. One day at a time. Who knows what'll happen?

I mean come on... she asked me something like (paraphrasing) "what do you like most about yourself" and I said "my excellent hair.... <pause>.... that and my golden D*CK!"....

and she about fell off her barstool laughing. THAT is my kinda girl!!!

that's pretty funny man.
But I say giver her a chance too. I always cringe when I look around at restaurants and see a couple sitting there with nothing to talk about. So if you're personalitites are a good match, she might become 'hotter' over time.. or you could just talk about what other body parts are coated in precious metals.

RKCNDY

JonnyPistachio wrote:

I always cringe when I look around at restaurants and see a couple sitting there with nothing to talk about.

when you've been with someone for 11 years, you can run out of stuff to say. If we don't have much to say when we're out to dinner, when we get in the car we'll start talking, 'That screaming kid was SO annoying!' "I can't believe that girl wore 'one nightstand' pajamas to Applebe's..." Next time I look around and see some guy looking at us and cringing, I'll be sure to wave to you!

may I just point out that recently I read something that said, "there is a higher percentage of women that will date 'down', then the percentage of men that will date 'down'" basically, men are much more superficial when it comes to looks then women are, and women are more likely to date an average looking guy with a great personality...next time you go out, look at couples, you'll see what I mean.

I'd give her a chance, you never know...and besides, looks fade, personality doesn't. You gonna keep trading in your women for a 'newer model'? Perfect example is my borther in law, his granddaughter is older than his youngest daughter...and he's only 38.

81

RKCNDY wrote:

JonnyPistachio wrote:

I always cringe when I look around at restaurants and see a couple sitting there with nothing to talk about.

when you've been with someone for 11 years, you can run out of stuff to say. If we don't have much to say when we're out to dinner, when we get in the car we'll start talking, 'That screaming kid was SO annoying!' "I can't believe that girl wore 'one nightstand' pajamas to Applebe's..." Next time I look around and see some guy looking at us and cringing, I'll be sure to wave to you!

agreed....well, except for applebee's.

norm

RKCNDY wrote:

Perfect example is my brother in law, his granddaughter is older than his youngest daughter...and he's only 38.

yikes!

JonnyPistachio

RKCNDY wrote:

JonnyPistachio wrote:

I always cringe when I look around at restaurants and see a couple sitting there with nothing to talk about.

when you've been with someone for 11 years, you can run out of stuff to say. If we don't have much to say when we're out to dinner, when we get in the car we'll start talking, 'That screaming kid was SO annoying!' "I can't believe that girl wore 'one nightstand' pajamas to Applebe's..." Next time I look around and see some guy looking at us and cringing, I'll be sure to wave to you!

haha, I should have been more specific. the couple I am describing is like this: I saw couple the other day who didnt speak to each other once, and the lady looked so damn bored. She'd check her phone every few minutes and never even looked in the general direction of her man. I see this all the time down here in South Florida because, as far as looks go, there are tons of women who 'date down' (mostly for money).
It sounds like and I assume you and your man would at least make eye contact every now and then and actually want to be there together (even though its applebees )

I've never been with anyone 11 years, so I cant guess what its like, but I have been in relationships where conversation just doenst flow, and I could never be in one like that long term.

RKCNDY

JonnyPistachio wrote:

haha, I should have been more specific. the couple I am describing is like this: I saw couple the other day who didnt speak to each other once, and the lady looked so damn bored. She'd check her phone every few minutes and never even looked in the general direction of her man. I see this all the time down here in South Florida because, as far as looks go, there are tons of women who 'date down' (mostly for money).
It sounds like and I assume you and your man would at least make eye contact every now and then and actually want to be there together (even though its applebees )

I've never been with anyone 11 years, so I cant guess what its like, but I have been in relationships where conversation just doenst flow, and I could never be in one like that long term.

you're describing our first date! and I apologize for our lack of decent dining facilities. In my town, we get to choose from Applebees, Olive Garden, Red Robin and Boston's...all amongst a smattering of no-name wannabe steak houses, Italian and Asian restaurants, that I would not recommend anybody eat at. Sadly, Applebees is one of the 'better' places to eat at. :roll:

81

RKCNDY wrote:

JonnyPistachio wrote:

haha, I should have been more specific. the couple I am describing is like this: I saw couple the other day who didnt speak to each other once, and the lady looked so damn bored. She'd check her phone every few minutes and never even looked in the general direction of her man. I see this all the time down here in South Florida because, as far as looks go, there are tons of women who 'date down' (mostly for money).
It sounds like and I assume you and your man would at least make eye contact every now and then and actually want to be there together (even though its applebees )

I've never been with anyone 11 years, so I cant guess what its like, but I have been in relationships where conversation just doenst flow, and I could never be in one like that long term.

you're describing our first date! and I apologize for our lack of decent dining facilities. In my town, we get to choose from Applebees, Olive Garden, Red Robin and Boston's...all amongst a smattering of no-name wannabe steak houses, Italian and Asian restaurants, that I would not recommend anybody eat at. Sadly, Applebees is one of the 'better' places to eat at. :roll:

you have a good butcher right?