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Single parents - dating advice?

he still standshe still stands Posts: 2,835
edited April 2011 in All Encompassing Trip
Is everyone in this world so shallow that as soon as you reveal you've got a kid... they ALL run away? As soon as I utter "ki...." the women that I've dated - or talked to - sprint away. I can understand some people just aren't ready to have a kid in their life at all, even if I don't expect a thing from them, but I've been dating for about a year now and it is always the same thing; "sorry, but I'm looking for someone without children."

Any dating advice for a single dad? Other single parents who've been in the same boat?

<masturbation is no longer a viable option>
Everything not forbidden is compulsory and eveything not compulsory is forbidden. You are free... free to do what the government says you can do.
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • drunkiemunkiedrunkiemunkie Posts: 69
    Don't give up. Keep getting out there and trying. I dated many girls while being a single parent of a girl. When she turned 2, I was able to really put myself out there with help from the grandparents. It didn't hurt either that i managed a sports bar and 90 % of the staff were girls that I hired. But in the end, I met a single mother waitress of a boy and just talking and telling the truth got me what I needed. We have been together for over 8 years and going on 4th year married. We have 2 more kids now, so it really has become a family. And she loves pearl jam!! Now I am probalbly older than you and you may not be looking to settle at this time. I did get to play the field for a few years and my daughter helped me hit a few of those ladies. Good luck my friend and always put you kid(s) first and everything will work out. PS- stay away from PTA mothers, they are crazy control freaks!!
  • he still standshe still stands Posts: 2,835
    drunkiemunkie wrote:
    Don't give up. Keep getting out there and trying. I dated many girls while being a single parent of a girl. When she turned 2, I was able to really put myself out there with help from the grandparents. It didn't hurt either that i managed a sports bar and 90 % of the staff were girls that I hired. But in the end, I met a single mother waitress of a boy and just talking and telling the truth got me what I needed. We have been together for over 8 years and going on 4th year married. We have 2 more kids now, so it really has become a family. And she loves pearl jam!! Now I am probalbly older than you and you may not be looking to settle at this time. I did get to play the field for a few years and my daughter helped me hit a few of those ladies. Good luck my friend and always put you kid(s) first and everything will work out. PS- stay away from PTA mothers, they are crazy control freaks!!

    thanks dude. Unfortunately I don't have any family around and few friends (I only live here because SHE decided to live here and the law is ARCHAIC as hell). So, that makes it hard to go out with a girl because I have my son a lot and almost every weekend and no one to babysit.

    I've even stooped to the level of online dating. Literally NO ONE wants to date a single father. I am ready to settle down and be serious. It has been 1.5 years since my divorce and I've gotten to "play the field" for long enough.

    OH man, I sound desperate. :oops:
    Everything not forbidden is compulsory and eveything not compulsory is forbidden. You are free... free to do what the government says you can do.
  • 8181 Posts: 58,276
    soccer moms for the win. i would think if you don't mind a single mom, school/sport events would be a good place to look. or the dairy aisle.. just look women with kids and ringless fingers. :lol:

    how old is the kid?

    yeah, i know, i'm no help. :lol:
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • he still standshe still stands Posts: 2,835
    81 wrote:
    soccer moms for the win. i would think if you don't mind a single mom, school/sport events would be a good place to look. or the dairy aisle.. just look women with kids and ringless fingers. :lol:

    how old is the kid?

    yeah, i know, i'm no help. :lol:

    he's almost two.

    I wouldn't mind a soccer mom, but I'd prefer a tattoo'd musician biologist fitness-model who enjoys sex as much as I do, has the same political/social views and loves kids.

    Is that too much to ask? :D
    Everything not forbidden is compulsory and eveything not compulsory is forbidden. You are free... free to do what the government says you can do.
  • drunkiemunkiedrunkiemunkie Posts: 69
    I hear you loud and clear. And I think the other advice is good as well. You need to aim for the single mom imo. Sports, park and recs, beach, grocery store- milk/ produce are all good locations. Get out there with your kid and meet these ladies. You will find one with similar interest.
  • 8181 Posts: 58,276
    how bout the zoo.

    or the mall. local mall is always packed with moms and kids at lunch. don't know how many are single. :lol:

    being only 2, you have a couple of years until t ball starts. :lol:
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • Black DiamondBlack Diamond Posts: 25,107
    Gyms around 10 AM
    GoiMTvP.gif
  • he still standshe still stands Posts: 2,835
    drunkiemunkie wrote:
    I hear you loud and clear. And I think the other advice is good as well. You need to aim for the single mom imo. Sports, park and recs, beach, grocery store- milk/ produce are all good locations. Get out there with your kid and meet these ladies. You will find one with similar interest.

    yup. You're totally right. Now that the weather is getting nicer it'll be easier to do this.

    Is it a faux pas to use my son as "dating ammo"? What if I am shirtless? :D
    Everything not forbidden is compulsory and eveything not compulsory is forbidden. You are free... free to do what the government says you can do.
  • he still standshe still stands Posts: 2,835
    hmm, no zoos in Lancaster PA.

    I go to the gym during my lunch break every day. Nothing to look at there :?

    PA women are just... I don't know... conservative and boring (and dating someone with a kid already is taboo, apparently). At least the ones I've met. If I was "home" in Illinois this wouldn't be a problem!
    Everything not forbidden is compulsory and eveything not compulsory is forbidden. You are free... free to do what the government says you can do.
  • Drowned OutDrowned Out Posts: 6,056
    You don't want my advice...I'm in the same boat, but with two kids. It's been five years since my divorce...I was bored with 'playing the field' within a year or two...but still haven't had much luck finding anyone I'd be willing to date exclusively (at least not any that live in my city)....so I feel your pain!
  • rick1zoo2rick1zoo2 Posts: 12,632
    he still stands wrote:
    PA women are just... I don't know... conservative and boring


    haha, that's funny, I can relate to that.... I am not too far from you, near Reading.. My girlfriend moved here from NYC to be with me. We met on a band's website forum. I have 3 kids.
  • LizardLizard Posts: 12,091
    he still stands wrote:

    Is it a faux pas to use my son as "dating ammo"? What if I am shirtless? :D
    Do what ya need to!!!
    So I'll just lie down and wait for the dream
    Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
  • he still standshe still stands Posts: 2,835
    rick1zoo2 wrote:
    he still stands wrote:
    PA women are just... I don't know... conservative and boring


    haha, that's funny, I can relate to that.... I am not too far from you, near Reading.. My girlfriend moved here from NYC to be with me. We met on a band's website forum. I have 3 kids.

    hmmm I think you may be onto something... any hot single girls in Eastern PA on this forum?

    <chirp> <chirp> <chirp>
    Everything not forbidden is compulsory and eveything not compulsory is forbidden. You are free... free to do what the government says you can do.
  • 8181 Posts: 58,276
    you need to talk to likeanocean and kilgore trout. they seem to be the resident dating guru's. just don't take advice from kilgore that he lists as part of his "A" game. :P
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • Get_RightGet_Right Posts: 12,848
    Where is the best place to meet women with similar interests ? In class.
    Take a class. One that interests you but art, gym, music or cooking work well.
    At a minimum, you have the class to talk about.
    Just a suggestion.
  • dcfaithfuldcfaithful Posts: 13,076
    Black Diamond wrote:
    Gyms around 10 AM

    :lol::lol:
    7/2/06 - Denver, CO
    6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
    8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
    9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
    9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
    9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
  • dcfaithfuldcfaithful Posts: 13,076
    Get_Right wrote:
    Where is the best place to meet women with similar interests ? In class.
    Take a class. One that interests you but art, gym, music or cooking work well.
    At a minimum, you have the class to talk about.
    Just a suggestion.
    Excellent advice.

    I would certainly try this if I was in yoru shoes, and definitely take a class that reflects your personal interest or beliefs.

    Good luck out in the field, and play ball.
    7/2/06 - Denver, CO
    6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
    8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
    9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
    9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
    9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
  • he still standshe still stands Posts: 2,835
    It's amazing how much can happen in one week! :D

    Met a girl Friday night at happy hour. We left and had sushi, then more drinks then my place... :shock: :mrgreen::D

    Went out again last night and I stayed the night at her place. 8-) We talked about taking it slow but we ended up in bed again...

    She is SUPER cool... is basically my doppelganger (not physically, thank god). We get along great, the conversation flows easily, we're into the same things, she's cool with me having a kid (most importantly) and she is 100% drama-free (so far as I can tell).

    The ONLY thing is... I'm not super attracted to her. She is pretty, but not as hot as some of my previous girlfriends. I hate saying that... but it is just my perception.

    I don't know if it is wise... but is it possible for her to "grow" on me? Physically, I mean. Because everything else is perfect....
    Everything not forbidden is compulsory and eveything not compulsory is forbidden. You are free... free to do what the government says you can do.
  • Suzi78Suzi78 Posts: 362
    edited April 2011
    So she's SUPER cool, you have great conversations, she's ok with you having a kid, same interests, she's pretty...but she's not HOT ENOUGH?! Dude, are you serious...? :roll: :roll: :roll:

    Sounds to me that you're either desperate, and that's why you've already had sex with her even though you weren't that attracted to her...or you're just being very shallow ;)

    Regardless, I really do hope you find someone...and give her a chance even though she doesn't have perfect boobs and ass... :roll:

    Ok, think I'm done rolling my eyes for today.

    Good luck to you.
    Post edited by Suzi78 on
    How I choose to feel is how I am
  • small town becksmall town beck Posts: 6,691
    Suzi78 wrote:
    So she's SUPER cool, you have great conversations, she's ok with you having a kid, same interests, she's pretty...but she's not HOT ENOUGH?! Dude, are you serious...? :roll: :roll: :roll:

    Sounds to me that you're either desparate, and that's why you've already had sex with her even though you weren't that attracted to her...or you're just being very shallow ;)

    Regardless, I really do hope you find someone...and give her a chance even though she doesn't have perfect boobs and ass... :roll:

    Ok, think I'm done rolling my eyes for today.

    Good luck to you.

    :thumbup:

    and not just because you have the coolest name either ;)
  • dimitrispearljamdimitrispearljam Posts: 139,549
    Suzi78 wrote:
    So she's SUPER cool, you have great conversations, she's ok with you having a kid, same interests, she's pretty...but she's not HOT ENOUGH?! Dude, are you serious...? :roll: :roll: :roll:

    Sounds to me that you're either desparate, and that's why you've already had sex with her even though you weren't that attracted to her...or you're just being very shallow ;)

    Regardless, I really do hope you find someone...and give her a chance even though she doesn't have perfect boobs and ass... :roll:

    Ok, think I'm done rolling my eyes for today.

    Good luck to you.
    +1
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
  • Gary CarterGary Carter Posts: 14,067
    Suzi78 wrote:
    So she's SUPER cool, you have great conversations, she's ok with you having a kid, same interests, she's pretty...but she's not HOT ENOUGH?! Dude, are you serious...? :roll: :roll: :roll:

    Sounds to me that you're either desparate, and that's why you've already had sex with her even though you weren't that attracted to her...or you're just being very shallow ;)

    Regardless, I really do hope you find someone...and give her a chance even though she doesn't have perfect boobs and ass... :roll:

    Ok, think I'm done rolling my eyes for today.

    Good luck to you.
    do some more eye rolling :P
    Ron: I just don't feel like going out tonight
    Sammi: Wanna just break up?

  • Suzi78Suzi78 Posts: 362
    Ok, only for you Metsie ;)

    :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:
    How I choose to feel is how I am
  • Gary CarterGary Carter Posts: 14,067
    Suzi78 wrote:
    Ok, only for you Metsie ;)

    :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:
    touche

    thanks suzi ;)
    Ron: I just don't feel like going out tonight
    Sammi: Wanna just break up?

  • dimitrispearljamdimitrispearljam Posts: 139,549
    Suzi78 wrote:
    Ok, only for you Metsie ;)

    :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:
    i saw that... :twisted:
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
  • he still standshe still stands Posts: 2,835
    hey, I never claimed to not be shallow. I'm super shallow. If I were water you wouldn't even get your ankles wet.

    But come on (fella's back me up)... she is like a 7 out of 10. One of those girls that you're attracted to but not the hottest girl at the bar and probably not even in the top 3. The first thing that attracted me to her was her personality... not her looks.

    That being said... I'm probably a 6 out of 10 so I should shut up.

    But, I like a certain "type" that she isn't. (athletic) Because I'm athletic...

    I guess what I'm saying is she could stand to lose 15 pounds.





    I just figured out why I'm single....


    I'M AN ASSHOLE!!!

    sheesh... what's wrong with me? :?
    Everything not forbidden is compulsory and eveything not compulsory is forbidden. You are free... free to do what the government says you can do.
  • he still standshe still stands Posts: 2,835
    and this is the first girl I've dated for 1.5 years... :shock:
    Everything not forbidden is compulsory and eveything not compulsory is forbidden. You are free... free to do what the government says you can do.
  • Gary CarterGary Carter Posts: 14,067
    he still stands wrote:
    hey, I never claimed to not be shallow. I'm super shallow. If I were water you wouldn't even get your ankles wet.

    But come on (fella's back me up)... she is like a 7 out of 10. One of those girls that you're attracted to but not the hottest girl at the bar and probably not even in the top 3. The first thing that attracted me to her was her personality... not her looks.

    That being said... I'm probably a 6 out of 10 so I should shut up.

    But, I like a certain "type" that she isn't. (athletic) Because I'm athletic...

    I guess what I'm saying is she could stand to lose 15 pounds.





    I just figured out why I'm single....


    I'M AN ASSHOLE!!!

    sheesh... what's wrong with me? :?

    dude 15 pounds is nothing to get bent outta shape bout. so shes got some "baby fat". probably means shes got big boobs and bit of a ass. not like shes a real fat girl. if your that bent outta shape bout 15 pounds, you got problems.
    Ron: I just don't feel like going out tonight
    Sammi: Wanna just break up?

  • dimitrispearljamdimitrispearljam Posts: 139,549
    he still stands,nice sense of humor btw.. :lol:
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
  • small town becksmall town beck Posts: 6,691
    he still stands wrote:
    hey, I never claimed to not be shallow. I'm super shallow. If I were water you wouldn't even get your ankles wet.

    But come on (fella's back me up)... she is like a 7 out of 10. One of those girls that you're attracted to but not the hottest girl at the bar and probably not even in the top 3. The first thing that attracted me to her was her personality... not her looks.

    That being said... I'm probably a 6 out of 10 so I should shut up.

    But, I like a certain "type" that she isn't. (athletic) Because I'm athletic...

    I guess what I'm saying is she could stand to lose 15 pounds.





    I just figured out why I'm single....


    I'M AN ASSHOLE!!!

    sheesh... what's wrong with me? :?

    That could be it :lol:

    Also I find if someone is awesome, their hotness factor goes up. If someone is a douchebag, their hotness factor goes down. If she were to read this...I am guessing your hotness factor would drop.

    Remember she could be telling her friends about you now too ;)
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