and that he wants a divorce, BUT he wants us to live like we do now still.
So what he really wants is
to not feel guilty about having a girlfriend, but wants me to be here to take care of the kids and so he doesn't have to pay child support. And to have someone to clean the house, make dinner, do laundry and all that fun stuff :roll:
What a fucker and an idiot for walking out. You seem like a totally rad chick- if you can laugh at the shit some of these assholes are posting ( ) the day after you get that kind of gut punch then there is no question you are going to come out on top. Keep on rockin tough chica!
Good luck with everything!
Don't fuck sheep. -EV 7/11/11
You can never have enough Neil in the mix. -EV 10/24/10
There's only one commandment: Don't be an asshole. -EV 5/6/10
What a fucker and an idiot for walking out. You seem like a totally rad chick- if you can laugh at the shit some of these assholes are posting ( ) the day after you get that kind of gut punch then there is no question you are going to come out on top. Keep on rockin tough chica!
Good luck with everything!
i was thinking more along the lines of a scumbag but hey fucker and idiot also will work
Yeah he told me this on Friday. I went to facebook later that day I saw he had changed his relationship status on September 10 from "married" to "it's complicated" so I guess I was the last one to know. OHHHH and his "friend" at work LIKED his relationship change :roll: She also just recently filed for divorce.
this sounds like to me he's already got his girlfriend on the side
Ron: I just don't feel like going out tonight
Sammi: Wanna just break up?
Mindi, you are an awesome lady, kind, generous, loving, thoughtful, talented and a great mother and wife too.
Time has a way of working all things out. Until you are sure what to do... no nothing.
Clear your mind from this, picture yourself on the other side of it.... the worse case scenario, this an important step in self preservation.
Gather your wants and needs, know them in your heart as well as you know your own babies and when the time is right you will know what to do.
No one here can say for sure if its right to end a marriage. We can all speculate and say he is awful... lose this guy but he could be having a crisis of his own.
That's where the strength of marriage comes in, if at all possible you go through a crisis together but not at the expense of your own self esteem and needs.
A good partner wants what is best for the other but there are weak moments. Everyone gets confused and makes mistakes.
A life sometimes feels like it is slipping away and that can be scary, especially midlife. It could be a bump in the road.
Look after yourself, take good care and keep strong. Find your peace, this will all work out for you in the end.
Take care, it was for the best.
I just went through a divorce of sorts cept we werent married..common law so pretty much the same thing. Its all done now, biggest thing was we owned a house together but dividing it up was done amicably. We stil talk cause she works for the same employer I do.
>>>>
>
...a lover and a fighter.
"I'm at least half a bum" Rocky Balboa
Take care, it was for the best.
I just went through a divorce of sorts cept we werent married..common law so pretty much the same thing. Its all done now, biggest thing was we owned a house together but dividing it up was done amicably. We stil talk cause she works for the same employer I do.
We own a house together too. I put down the down payment, $60,000, and he says we can live here together, for the next 30 years I guess, until the house is paid off and then I can buy it from him :roll:
Anyway I don't care about the house, he can have it. But I'm worried he's going to try to keep our daughter's ashes. How in the world do we figure out who gets them? :(
To 10c; "Your PJ tshirt should be tight enough to show you're a woman and loose enough to show you're a lady." - bionicamy
Take care, it was for the best.
I just went through a divorce of sorts cept we werent married..common law so pretty much the same thing. Its all done now, biggest thing was we owned a house together but dividing it up was done amicably. We stil talk cause she works for the same employer I do.
We own a house together too. I put down the down payment, $60,000, and he says we can live here together, for the next 30 years I guess, until the house is paid off and then I can buy it from him :roll:
Anyway I don't care about the house, he can have it. But I'm worried he's going to try to keep our daughter's ashes. How in the world do we figure out who gets them? :(
Fuck him you deserve them you take care of the kids give him nothing ...
I'm so sorry to read about this. But, with 8 kids, house and etc together - its a tough decision. I have a close friend doing the "same" thing. They have (3) kids and are getting divorced and HE will still live under the same roof untill he can afford to move out.
I suppose it allows them both to be free and yet my friend and her ex are saving money. And they still can be a "family". Not a good situation at all. I believe you deserve better. I wish you all the best.
Mindi oh Mindi, I'm so sorry to hear this. I'll wish nothing but the best for you and the children. I just read your intial post and there's no way you or anyone else should accept anything as ridiculous as that situation. I've been there took my daughter and my ex had to do what she had to as the other parent our daughter wasn't living with. Did that make any sense?
Anyway, hang in ther stand firm and fight for your children. BTW something to pick up your spirits, were you able to catch RUSH on this Time Machine Tour? I saw 2 in Bristow VA and Saturday in West Palm Beach FL Totally AWESOME.
Please take and get a good lawyer.
Peace
*We CAN bomb the World to pieces, but we CAN'T bomb it into PEACE*...Michael Franti
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
then call his mommy and tell her what a jerk she's got for a son
OMG I just a flashback......only it was MY father who called my ex's mother to tell her what manipulative, depraved piece of shit person her son was!
Anyways.....I can't really offer anything more than what others have already posted. Except maybe to keep a really good group of friends around you and do what you need to ensure that you and your children are happy.
and that he wants a divorce, BUT he wants us to live like we do now still.
So what he really wants is
to not feel guilty about having a girlfriend, but wants me to be here to take care of the kids and so he doesn't have to pay child support. And to have someone to clean the house, make dinner, do laundry and all that fun stuff :roll:
I'm thinking, I'm not going to accept his generous offer and I will figure out how me and the kidlings can move on!
what a bastard! go find a new place with the kids, girl, cause it sounds like his lazy ass isn't in any hurry to move. *snap*
Seems like things have been difficult for a lot of folks around the boards lately.
This doesn't sound like a workable situation, though. And the Facebook status thing... it's degrading. Twelve years and eight children, and that's how you share the news?
Wishing you peace while you work your way through this.
So sorry to hear this. HE seems like he has turned into a real dickhead.
If I was you, I would be soaking his clothes in water, filling his shoes with water, and putting them in the freezer.
Good luck to you and your kids
Sydney 11/02/2003
Sydney 14/02/2003
Sydney 07/11/2006
Sydney 18/11/2006
Sydney 22/11/2009
EV Sydney 18/03/2011
EV Sydney 19/03/2011
EV Sydney 20/03/2011
Melbourne 24/01/2014
Sydney 26/01/2014
EV Sydney 13/02/2014
Just wanting to let you know that the chaos screaming inside your head will eventually die away. My hope for you is that the peace you deserve comes sooner than later.
Don't be afraid to feel but also don't be afraid to let go and move forward.
This divorce will hurt and wound you. Remember that your wound will heal but chances are it will leave a scar. Know that there will come a day when you can look at that scar and feel pride. It will remind you how you have conducted yourself as an example for your children and risen above your adversities.
and that he wants a divorce, BUT he wants us to live like we do now still.
So what he really wants is
to not feel guilty about having a girlfriend, but wants me to be here to take care of the kids and so he doesn't have to pay child support. And to have someone to clean the house, make dinner, do laundry and all that fun stuff :roll:
I'm thinking, I'm not going to accept his generous offer and I will figure out how me and the kidlings can move on!
what a bastard! go find a new place with the kids, girl, cause it sounds like his lazy ass isn't in any hurry to move. *snap*
I would have thought with 6 kids living at home Mindi should stay where she is and the guy is going to find somewhere new.
Good luck Mindi! It may take a bit of time but the sun will shine through.
If I was you, I would be soaking his clothes in water, filling his shoes with water, and putting them in the freezer.
something you have experienced? Although I must admit...that is freakin awesome!
me? I am only 24, too young for that shit. I used to know a guy in the Navy, and he used to do this shit when they were sailing away from home just to kill time.
Sydney 11/02/2003
Sydney 14/02/2003
Sydney 07/11/2006
Sydney 18/11/2006
Sydney 22/11/2009
EV Sydney 18/03/2011
EV Sydney 19/03/2011
EV Sydney 20/03/2011
Melbourne 24/01/2014
Sydney 26/01/2014
EV Sydney 13/02/2014
and that he wants a divorce, BUT he wants us to live like we do now still.
So what he really wants is
to not feel guilty about having a girlfriend, but wants me to be here to take care of the kids and so he doesn't have to pay child support. And to have someone to clean the house, make dinner, do laundry and all that fun stuff :roll:
I'm thinking, I'm not going to accept his generous offer and I will figure out how me and the kidlings can move on!
I'm truly sorry to hear that Mindi. Perhaps it is a blessing in diguise. A family member of mine was just recently shocked to find out her husband had been seeing a divorce attorney behind her back. I know she was devistated, especially cuz she had no idea. My best to you and your children
Yeah he told me this on Friday. I went to facebook later that day I saw he had changed his relationship status on September 10 from "married" to "it's complicated" so I guess I was the last one to know. OHHHH and his "friend" at work LIKED his relationship change :roll: She also just recently filed for divorce.
Gimli 1993
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
We've been married for 12 years. We have had 8 kids, one passed away in 2008. We have been through so much together. You think he would have done it all a little nicer.
Gimli 1993
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
this is in no way my attempt at humour or disrespect but I have to ask: have you explored the possibility of mental or emotional trauma on his side of things? maybe an anxiety or nervous break or something? his behaviour just sounds pretty eratic and out of the blue if it truly was a shock like you say. I have a mental illness, which in no way makes me an expert, I'm just wondering if that's possible.
any chance of counselling?
Gimli 1993
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
this is in no way my attempt at humour or disrespect but I have to ask: have you explored the possibility of mental or emotional trauma on his side of things? maybe an anxiety or nervous break or something? his behaviour just sounds pretty eratic and out of the blue if it truly was a shock like you say. I have a mental illness, which in no way makes me an expert, I'm just wondering if that's possible.
any chance of counselling?
He won't go to counseling. I've been seeing a therapist since April,he will not go to see her, or anyone.
I really just think he doesn't want to feel guilty when he has a girlfriend. He's out with her tonight.
To 10c; "Your PJ tshirt should be tight enough to show you're a woman and loose enough to show you're a lady." - bionicamy
That's sad. I can't even imagine how you feel. and I'm sure it will be difficult for the kids. I would make him move his ass out. There is no need for you to uproot the children because of his nonsense. You are right, he wants to stay so he son't have to pay child and spousal support. Don't let that happen... as a mother I hope you find all the love and support you need. Be strong for your children and be strong for yourself. Call a lawyer. I've never met you, but know that I'm pulling for you, and I hope things work out for you. I really do.
"I knew all the rules, but the rules did not know me. Guaranteed."
We've been married for 12 years. We have had 8 kids, one passed away in 2008. We have been through so much together. You think he would have done it all a little nicer.
No - they NEVER do it a little nicer - I know how you feel, and I know what you are going through - but it WILL be ok. I had been with my ex husband for 15 years, married for 12 and a half, 4 kids - and he hooked up with his secretary, spent a looooooong time denying it - 12 months later and they are living together, and I am happier than I have been in a VERY VERY long time. The kids are ok, and yes - it was worth all the hurt and painfulness to have my 4 beautiful children. You will move on, get a good lawyer if that's what you want to do- or just move on if you don't. But don't ever give in to him and give him what he wants. Meet someone who makes you smile, and makes you feel that it's amazing to be alive, and you will realise that he was NEVER worth it. Good luck.
Just wanting to let you know that the chaos screaming inside your head will eventually die away. My hope for you is that the peace you deserve comes sooner than later.
Don't be afraid to feel but also don't be afraid to let go and move forward.
This divorce will hurt and wound you. Remember that your wound will heal but chances are it will leave a scar. Know that there will come a day when you can look at that scar and feel pride. It will remind you how you have conducted yourself as an example for your children and risen above your adversities.
Blessings of peace to you and your children.
This is a very good, very true statement. It hurts a lot to be strong, but it feels so much better than the alternative.
Comments
Sammi: Wanna just break up?
what guy doesn't want that?!?
Good luck with everything!
Don't fuck sheep. -EV 7/11/11
You can never have enough Neil in the mix. -EV 10/24/10
There's only one commandment: Don't be an asshole. -EV 5/6/10
this sounds like to me he's already got his girlfriend on the side
Sammi: Wanna just break up?
Time has a way of working all things out. Until you are sure what to do... no nothing.
Clear your mind from this, picture yourself on the other side of it.... the worse case scenario, this an important step in self preservation.
Gather your wants and needs, know them in your heart as well as you know your own babies and when the time is right you will know what to do.
No one here can say for sure if its right to end a marriage. We can all speculate and say he is awful... lose this guy but he could be having a crisis of his own.
That's where the strength of marriage comes in, if at all possible you go through a crisis together but not at the expense of your own self esteem and needs.
A good partner wants what is best for the other but there are weak moments. Everyone gets confused and makes mistakes.
A life sometimes feels like it is slipping away and that can be scary, especially midlife. It could be a bump in the road.
Look after yourself, take good care and keep strong. Find your peace, this will all work out for you in the end.
http://www.amazon.com/This-Not-Story-You-Think/dp/0399156658
No time to be void, or save up on life, you've got to spend it all
I just went through a divorce of sorts cept we werent married..common law so pretty much the same thing. Its all done now, biggest thing was we owned a house together but dividing it up was done amicably. We stil talk cause she works for the same employer I do.
>
...a lover and a fighter.
"I'm at least half a bum" Rocky Balboa
http://www.videosift.com/video/Obamas-Message-To-American-Indians
Edmonton, AB. September 5th, 2005
Vancouver, BC. April 3rd, 2008
Calgary,AB. August 8th, 2009
Anyway I don't care about the house, he can have it. But I'm worried he's going to try to keep our daughter's ashes. How in the world do we figure out who gets them? :(
Fuck him you deserve them you take care of the kids give him nothing ...
I suppose it allows them both to be free and yet my friend and her ex are saving money. And they still can be a "family". Not a good situation at all. I believe you deserve better. I wish you all the best.
Anyway, hang in ther stand firm and fight for your children. BTW something to pick up your spirits, were you able to catch RUSH on this Time Machine Tour? I saw 2 in Bristow VA and Saturday in West Palm Beach FL Totally AWESOME.
Please take and get a good lawyer.
Peace
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
OMG I just a flashback......only it was MY father who called my ex's mother to tell her what manipulative, depraved piece of shit person her son was!
Anyways.....I can't really offer anything more than what others have already posted. Except maybe to keep a really good group of friends around you and do what you need to ensure that you and your children are happy.
www.cluthelee.com
www.cluthe.com
what a bastard! go find a new place with the kids, girl, cause it sounds like his lazy ass isn't in any hurry to move. *snap*
Seems like things have been difficult for a lot of folks around the boards lately.
This doesn't sound like a workable situation, though. And the Facebook status thing... it's degrading. Twelve years and eight children, and that's how you share the news?
Wishing you peace while you work your way through this.
If I was you, I would be soaking his clothes in water, filling his shoes with water, and putting them in the freezer.
Good luck to you and your kids
Sydney 14/02/2003
Sydney 07/11/2006
Sydney 18/11/2006
Sydney 22/11/2009
EV Sydney 18/03/2011
EV Sydney 19/03/2011
EV Sydney 20/03/2011
Melbourne 24/01/2014
Sydney 26/01/2014
EV Sydney 13/02/2014
Don't be afraid to feel but also don't be afraid to let go and move forward.
This divorce will hurt and wound you. Remember that your wound will heal but chances are it will leave a scar. Know that there will come a day when you can look at that scar and feel pride. It will remind you how you have conducted yourself as an example for your children and risen above your adversities.
Blessings of peace to you and your children.
Good luck Mindi! It may take a bit of time but the sun will shine through.
something you have experienced? Although I must admit...that is freakin awesome!
me? I am only 24, too young for that shit. I used to know a guy in the Navy, and he used to do this shit when they were sailing away from home just to kill time.
Sydney 14/02/2003
Sydney 07/11/2006
Sydney 18/11/2006
Sydney 22/11/2009
EV Sydney 18/03/2011
EV Sydney 19/03/2011
EV Sydney 20/03/2011
Melbourne 24/01/2014
Sydney 26/01/2014
EV Sydney 13/02/2014
Don't do it.
Sounds like he's 15 years old.
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
any chance of counselling?
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
I really just think he doesn't want to feel guilty when he has a girlfriend. He's out with her tonight.
1996 Merriweather, MD; 1998 Camden, NJ; 2000 Camden, NJ; 2003 Camden, NJ; 2005 Philly, PA; 2006 Camden, NJ(nights 1 & 2); 2006 Arnhem, NED; 2008 Camden, NJ(nights 1 & 2), Washington DC, MSG(night 2) 2009 Philly Spectrum Shows(nights 1,2,3,4) 2010 Hartford,CT and MSG(night 2)
ED Solo - 2008 Washington DC, 2009 Philly, PA(nights 1&2)*Met Eddie
No - they NEVER do it a little nicer - I know how you feel, and I know what you are going through - but it WILL be ok. I had been with my ex husband for 15 years, married for 12 and a half, 4 kids - and he hooked up with his secretary, spent a looooooong time denying it - 12 months later and they are living together, and I am happier than I have been in a VERY VERY long time. The kids are ok, and yes - it was worth all the hurt and painfulness to have my 4 beautiful children. You will move on, get a good lawyer if that's what you want to do- or just move on if you don't. But don't ever give in to him and give him what he wants. Meet someone who makes you smile, and makes you feel that it's amazing to be alive, and you will realise that he was NEVER worth it. Good luck.
This is a very good, very true statement. It hurts a lot to be strong, but it feels so much better than the alternative.