I will share with you my worst pick up line of all time.

24

Comments

  • ZiggyStarZiggyStar Posts: 14,328
    This line is awesome......this would so work on me.....

    It's nipples I'm into and yours are beautiful. I'm going to pay them some serious attention.

    :lol::lol::lol: Ahh I love it!! I would laugh at that.....at first....and then think "well hello there!! this guy has balls to say that....and he's funny....and obviously has x-ray vision through my shirt! He's a fucking keeper!" :lol:

    Should be a fucking hallmark card...I tell you! :lol:
    ★ 1995 - Brisbane ★ 1998 - Brisbane ★ 2003 - Brisbane ★ 2006 - Brisbane ★
    ★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
    ★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
  • eyedclaareyedclaar Posts: 6,980
    Enkidu wrote:
    Or:
    "Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

    Okay, that one made me laugh out loud too.


    That is easily the best one I have ever heard. Fucking hysterical.
    Idaho's Premier Outdoor Writer

    Please Support My Writing Habit By Purchasing A Book:

    https://www.createspace.com/3437020

    http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000663025696

    http://earthtremors.blogspot.com/
  • UpSideDownUpSideDown Posts: 1,966
    eyedclaar wrote:
    Enkidu wrote:
    Or:
    "Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

    Okay, that one made me laugh out loud too.


    That is easily the best one I have ever heard. Fucking hysterical.

    Now this is my kind of line.
  • HartydogHartydog Posts: 2,060
    In college one of my friends tried "my face is leaving in 15 minutes....and I want you on it". She was not amused.
    Boston 9-28-04, 5-24-06, 5-25-06, 5-17-10, 8-5-16, 8-7-16, 9-2-18, 9-4-18
    Hartford 5-13-06, 6-27-08, 10-25-13
    Mansfield, MA 6-30-08, 6-28-08, 7-2-03, 7-3-03, 7-11-03, 8-29-00, 8-30-00, 9-15-98, 9-16-98
    Worcester 10-15-13, 10-16-13
  • blenderman69blenderman69 Posts: 2,104
    ZiggyStar wrote:
    This line is awesome......this would so work on me.....

    It's nipples I'm into and yours are beautiful. I'm going to pay them some serious attention.

    :lol::lol::lol: Ahh I love it!! I would laugh at that.....at first....and then think "well hello there!! this guy has balls to say that....and he's funny....and obviously has x-ray vision through my shirt! He's a fucking keeper!" :lol:

    Should be a fucking hallmark card...I tell you! :lol:
    ...i think i love you 8-)
  • chadwickchadwick Posts: 21,157
    pick up lines are dumb.
    i don't understand them.

    i go like this:

    me... hi im chad
    her... hi im woman
    me... mind if i write poetry all over your warm nude flesh?
    her... that is exactly what i need, what i desire the most out of a man.
    me... im all over it
    me... i hope you have fruit and massage oil???


    simple shit
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."

    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • ZiggyStarZiggyStar Posts: 14,328
    ZiggyStar wrote:
    This line is awesome......this would so work on me.....

    It's nipples I'm into and yours are beautiful. I'm going to pay them some serious attention.

    :lol::lol::lol: Ahh I love it!! I would laugh at that.....at first....and then think "well hello there!! this guy has balls to say that....and he's funny....and obviously has x-ray vision through my shirt! He's a fucking keeper!" :lol:

    Should be a fucking hallmark card...I tell you! :lol:
    ...i think i love you 8-)

    So you keep telling me.... :lol:8-)
    ★ 1995 - Brisbane ★ 1998 - Brisbane ★ 2003 - Brisbane ★ 2006 - Brisbane ★
    ★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
    ★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
  • If your left leg is Christmas and your right leg is Thanksgiving, can I come visit you between the holidays?
  • ZiggyStarZiggyStar Posts: 14,328
    chadwick wrote:
    pick up lines are dumb.
    i don't understand them.

    i go like this:

    me... hi im chad
    her... hi im woman
    me... mind if i write poetry all over your warm nude flesh?
    her... that is exactly what i need, what i desire the most out of a man.
    me... im all over it
    me... i hope you have fruit and massage oil???


    simple shit

    Then she slaps you. "Fruit? Massage oil? I said you could write poetry, prick...not give me a fucking massage...with a banana!" :x

    Then it's back to the dumb ass pick up lines for chad. Try mine up above. It'll work!! :lol:
    ★ 1995 - Brisbane ★ 1998 - Brisbane ★ 2003 - Brisbane ★ 2006 - Brisbane ★
    ★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
    ★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
  • If your left leg is Christmas and your right leg is Thanksgiving, can I come visit you between the holidays?
    :lol::lol: Thats a good one!! :lol::lol:
    "Makes much more sense to live in the present tense"

    Mansfield 08 1
    Boston 2010
    Montreal 2011
    EV Prov 11
    Worcester 1 13
    Worcester 2 13
    Hartford 13
    Boston 16 - 1
    Boston 16 - 2
    Boston 18 - 1
    Boston 18 -2 
    MSG 24 - 1
    Boston 24 -1
    Boston 24 -2 
  • Gary CarterGary Carter Posts: 14,067
    If your left leg is Christmas and your right leg is Thanksgiving, can I come visit you between the holidays?
    i used this line once and got punched in the stomach

    :lol::lol:
    Ron: I just don't feel like going out tonight
    Sammi: Wanna just break up?

  • blenderman69blenderman69 Posts: 2,104
    ZiggyStar wrote:
    ZiggyStar wrote:
    This line is awesome......this would so work on me.....

    It's nipples I'm into and yours are beautiful. I'm going to pay them some serious attention.

    :lol::lol::lol: Ahh I love it!! I would laugh at that.....at first....and then think "well hello there!! this guy has balls to say that....and he's funny....and obviously has x-ray vision through my shirt! He's a fucking keeper!" :lol:

    Should be a fucking hallmark card...I tell you! :lol:
    ...i think i love you 8-)

    So you keep telling me.... :lol:8-)
    cause it's true :D ..but you never say it back :( :mrgreen:
  • chadwickchadwick Posts: 21,157
    ZiggyStar wrote:
    chadwick wrote:
    pick up lines are dumb.
    i don't understand them.

    i go like this:

    me... hi im chad
    her... hi im woman
    me... mind if i write poetry all over your warm nude flesh?
    her... that is exactly what i need, what i desire the most out of a man.
    me... im all over it
    me... i hope you have fruit and massage oil???


    simple shit

    Then she slaps you. "Fruit? Massage oil? I said you could write poetry, prick...not give me a fucking massage...with a banana!" :x

    Then it's back to the dumb ass pick up lines for chad. Try mine up above. It'll work!! :lol:
    you are out of order
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."

    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • pjfan31pjfan31 Posts: 7,332
    Hey ziggy, how ya doin?

    It's nipples I'm into and yours are beautiful. I'm going to pay them some serious attention.



    Did it work?????
    Sydney 11/02/2003
    Sydney 14/02/2003
    Sydney 07/11/2006
    Sydney 18/11/2006
    Sydney 22/11/2009
    EV Sydney 18/03/2011
    EV Sydney 19/03/2011
    EV Sydney 20/03/2011
    Melbourne 24/01/2014
    Sydney 26/01/2014
    EV Sydney 13/02/2014
  • ZiggyStarZiggyStar Posts: 14,328
    ZiggyStar wrote:
    ...i think i love you 8-)

    So you keep telling me.... :lol:8-)
    cause it's true :D ..but you never say it back :( :mrgreen:

    Because I'm a bitch! :mrgreen:;)
    ★ 1995 - Brisbane ★ 1998 - Brisbane ★ 2003 - Brisbane ★ 2006 - Brisbane ★
    ★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
    ★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
  • ZiggyStarZiggyStar Posts: 14,328
    pjfan31 wrote:
    Hey ziggy, how ya doin?

    It's nipples I'm into and yours are beautiful. I'm going to pay them some serious attention.



    Did it work?????

    Nah, I'm not into lesbians! 8-)
    ★ 1995 - Brisbane ★ 1998 - Brisbane ★ 2003 - Brisbane ★ 2006 - Brisbane ★
    ★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
    ★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
  • pjfan31pjfan31 Posts: 7,332
    ZiggyStar wrote:
    pjfan31 wrote:
    Hey ziggy, how ya doin?

    It's nipples I'm into and yours are beautiful. I'm going to pay them some serious attention.



    Did it work?????

    Nah, I'm not into lesbians! 8-)


    worth a try but.....
    Sydney 11/02/2003
    Sydney 14/02/2003
    Sydney 07/11/2006
    Sydney 18/11/2006
    Sydney 22/11/2009
    EV Sydney 18/03/2011
    EV Sydney 19/03/2011
    EV Sydney 20/03/2011
    Melbourne 24/01/2014
    Sydney 26/01/2014
    EV Sydney 13/02/2014
  • RKCNDYRKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    not mine, but it happened to me today:

    picture it...I'm at the post office and ready to get into my truck...

    weirdo: "Hey, what year is this?" (I had already opened my door and he is basically cornering me )
    me: "uuuhhh.... :? " (I'm thinking, ok, he's a short dude...I can kick him in the nuts if I have to)
    weirdo: "your truck...what year?" (he's like inches from my face-respect the bubble dude!)
    me: "oh, :eh: uh, a '94"
    weirdo: "that is totally rad! I'm buying a 93 tomorrow! I'm so excited!"
    me: "wow, that's...cool" :|
    weirdo: "yeah, you have a great day!"

    ...and then skips away...yeah, the guy skipped
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • 8181 Posts: 58,276
    RKCNDY wrote:
    ...and then skips away...yeah, the guy skipped


    you head me until this. i call bull shit. :lol:
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • Gary CarterGary Carter Posts: 14,067
    RKCNDY wrote:
    not mine, but it happened to me today:

    picture it...I'm at the post office and ready to get into my truck...

    weirdo: "Hey, what year is this?" (I had already opened my door and he is basically cornering me )
    me: "uuuhhh.... :? " (I'm thinking, ok, he's a short dude...I can kick him in the nuts if I have to)
    weirdo: "your truck...what year?" (he's like inches from my face-respect the bubble dude!)
    me: "oh, :eh: uh, a '94"
    weirdo: "that is totally rad! I'm buying a 93 tomorrow! I'm so excited!"
    me: "wow, that's...cool" :|
    weirdo: "yeah, you have a great day!"

    ...and then skips away...yeah, the guy skipped
    was he singing ymca??
    Ron: I just don't feel like going out tonight
    Sammi: Wanna just break up?

  • DS1119DS1119 Posts: 33,497
    A guy in a bar handing this to a potential hookup:

    Hey, you wanna screw?

    695284-man-s-hand-holding-screw-on-the-beige-background.jpg
  • JOEJOEJOEJOEJOEJOE Posts: 10,510
    RKCNDY wrote:
    not mine, but it happened to me today:

    picture it...I'm at the post office and ready to get into my truck...

    weirdo: "Hey, what year is this?" (I had already opened my door and he is basically cornering me )
    me: "uuuhhh.... :? " (I'm thinking, ok, he's a short dude...I can kick him in the nuts if I have to)
    weirdo: "your truck...what year?" (he's like inches from my face-respect the bubble dude!)
    me: "oh, :eh: uh, a '94"
    weirdo: "that is totally rad! I'm buying a 93 tomorrow! I'm so excited!"
    me: "wow, that's...cool" :|
    weirdo: "yeah, you have a great day!"

    ...and then skips away...yeah, the guy skipped

    He must have been awestruck by you!
  • RKCNDYRKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    81 wrote:
    RKCNDY wrote:
    ...and then skips away...yeah, the guy skipped


    you head me until this. i call bull shit. :lol:

    who the hell asks about a 17 year old truck? I get it if I was driving a Roadrunner, a Chevelle, a 60s Camaro/Mustang...oh, wait...I live in hicktown... :cry: (maybe I should instal a gun rack in the back window and plaster the sides with American flag graphics...get an Elk mural painted on the tailgate....)
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • 8181 Posts: 58,276
    how old was said weirdo? maybe his first ride?
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • PissBottleManPissBottleMan Posts: 4,154
    "Do you believe in love at first sight?...or should I walk by again?"

    PBM
    "We paced ourselves and we didn't rush through it and we tried to be as creative as our collective minds would let us be over some course of time instead of just trying to rush through a record"

    Wishlist Foundation: http://wishlistfoundation.org
  • RKCNDYRKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    81 wrote:
    how old was said weirdo? maybe his first ride?

    said weirdo must have been around 40...looked like he just came from walmart...
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • LizardLizard Posts: 12,091
    Enkidu wrote:
    "Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

    still the best
    So I'll just lie down and wait for the dream
    Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
  • stargirl69stargirl69 Posts: 6,387
    I met a guy at a party once and he asked me if I wanted to go to a party :? I replied we were at a party ... he said no this is a special party ... I asked what kind of special party ... he winked and smiled his toothless wonder grin and replied ...

    "A party for two baby,me and you!"

    I replied thanks but you just made me boak up :sick: in my mouth a little
    “There should be a place where only the things you want to happen, happen”
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 38,534
    RKCNDY wrote:
    81 wrote:
    RKCNDY wrote:
    ...and then skips away...yeah, the guy skipped


    you head me until this. i call bull shit. :lol:

    who the hell asks about a 17 year old truck? I get it if I was driving a Roadrunner, a Chevelle, a 60s Camaro/Mustang...oh, wait...I live in hicktown... :cry: (maybe I should instal a gun rack in the back window and plaster the sides with American flag graphics...get an Elk mural painted on the tailgate....)
    elk mural PAINTED on the tailgate? no no no. Strap an actual elk across the hood and you'll have to beat them off with a stick!!
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 38,534
    heres one that seems to have worked.


    Would you like to go to a movie?

    7 months later and counting......... ;)
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Sign In or Register to comment.