Spectres and skeletons
Nightime chills of memory
Sit more easily
Than what you did to her
What you do to them
All I've endured
Unlocked the first time
By the chill
The cold knife in the back as she told me her story
My innocence scratched and serrated in those moments
And it never returned
Her fire burned so brightly
Yet she had two jumpers on I remember
As she told me
And yet she shivered
As you walked me through it
I have a memory
Like I was descending stairs
It still haunts me
One word and I had a cruel alarm bell ringing
Another word and I was descending the steps
No light here
Steps to the cellar, to the basement
I really didn't want to go down
But I was with you
I loved you
I heard you
What else was I to do?
Another word another detail
Descending dark steps
My life to that point was ripped up and scattered
Like the blue skies
To black
Tainted, tattooed
Everything
And when you had finished it never got easier
It never gets easier
You only get tougher
I remember from that day I made a vow
I didn't cut my hair for four years
Until you left me
Until they dragged me away
People around me watched me change
Yet they never knew the secret
You changed me
He changed me
They changed me
But what they don't know
But what they might just find out
Is that whilst I was descending that stairwell
I reached for two things
Some protection
And a gun
Cancel my subscription to the Ressurection
Send my credentials to the house of detention
the eyes of truth are upon us
must I ascend
into that white light?
the Knowledge there ....
..............
of me ...
Have I passed that test?
Am I welcome ?
Will they see
all that I've tried to be
or only
what i have become?
peace,
jo
http://www.Etsy.com/Shop/SimpleEarthCreations
"How I choose to feel is how I am." ~ EV/MMc
"Some people hear their own inner voices with great clearness and they live by what they hear. Such people become crazy, or they become legends." ~ One Stab ~
the eyes of truth are upon us
must I ascend
into that white light?
the Knowledge there ....
..............
of me ...
Have I passed that test?
Am I welcome ?
Will they see
all that I've tried to be
or only
what i have become?
the eyes of truth are upon us
must I ascend
into that white light?
the Knowledge there ....
..............
of me ...
Have I passed that test?
Am I welcome ?
Will they see
all that I've tried to be
or only
what i have become?
you've 'become' .... very good !
Thank you Pandi. I can only hope to be a small percentage of what you and the other folks here are. but I have fun trying
peace,
jo
http://www.Etsy.com/Shop/SimpleEarthCreations
"How I choose to feel is how I am." ~ EV/MMc
"Some people hear their own inner voices with great clearness and they live by what they hear. Such people become crazy, or they become legends." ~ One Stab ~
the eyes of truth are upon us
must I ascend
into that white light?
the Knowledge there ....
..............
of me ...
Have I passed that test?
Am I welcome ?
Will they see
all that I've tried to be
or only
what i have become?
you've 'become' .... very good !
Thank you Pandi. I can only hope to be a small percentage of what you and the other folks here are. but I have fun trying
Your heart is huge and you speak it so well...Thank you for being here!
the eyes of truth are upon us
must I ascend
into that white light?
the Knowledge there ....
..............
of me ...
Have I passed that test?
Am I welcome ?
Will they see
all that I've tried to be
or only
what i have become?
Like!
Cancel my subscription to the Ressurection
Send my credentials to the house of detention
at school, in civics, again, dying of bordum... some popular chicks said im a lesbian cuz i hugged my bff and that im an emo cutter cuz i wear black cant wait to go home
“I told you from the start just how this would end. When I get what I want, I never want it again.” — Courtney Love
“If he doesn’t treat you like a princess, then he doesn’t deserve to be your prince.” — Unknown
“And we’ll move on and go our separate ways. Just know, I’ll miss you everyday, but things just aren’t the same.” — Unknown
at school, in civics, again, dying of bordum... some popular chicks said im a lesbian cuz i hugged my bff and that im an emo cutter cuz i wear black cant wait to go home
Love surrounds you
walk with it.
Be confident in it,
feel it,
radiate it.
Find peace in it.
Defend yourself,
arm yourself with Love.
Wield it.
Share it.
Never be ashamed of it.
Love and love will follow you.
You will be forever strong.
at school, in civics, again, dying of bordum... some popular chicks said im a lesbian cuz i hugged my bff and that im an emo cutter cuz i wear black cant wait to go home
Love surrounds you
walk with it.
Be confident in it,
feel it,
radiate it.
Find peace in it.
Defend yourself,
arm yourself with Love.
Wield it.
Share it.
Never be ashamed of it.
Love and love will follow you.
You will be forever strong.
Great words. I think I will come back to this one.
(Hope your day improves 1997)
Cancel my subscription to the Ressurection
Send my credentials to the house of detention
at school, in civics, again, dying of bordum... some popular chicks said im a lesbian cuz i hugged my bff and that im an emo cutter cuz i wear black cant wait to go home
Love surrounds you
walk with it.
Be confident in it,
feel it,
radiate it.
Find peace in it.
Defend yourself,
arm yourself with Love.
Wield it.
Share it.
Never be ashamed of it.
Love and love will follow you.
You will be forever strong.
to live by
peace,
jo
http://www.Etsy.com/Shop/SimpleEarthCreations
"How I choose to feel is how I am." ~ EV/MMc
"Some people hear their own inner voices with great clearness and they live by what they hear. Such people become crazy, or they become legends." ~ One Stab ~
at school, in civics, again, dying of bordum... some popular chicks said im a lesbian cuz i hugged my bff and that im an emo cutter cuz i wear black cant wait to go home
Love surrounds you
walk with it.
Be confident in it,
feel it,
radiate it.
Find peace in it.
Defend yourself,
arm yourself with Love.
Wield it.
Share it.
Never be ashamed of it.
Love and love will follow you.
You will be forever strong.
Great words. I think I will come back to this one.
(Hope your day improves 1997)
not a bad day acctualy, i dont go one with out ridicule, but i just ignore it. they dont no me, and what happens in my life, if they dont like how i dress or look than thats there problem and they can suck it up. and the only reason they said im a lesbian is because they dont have real friends that will give you a hug just because. im proud of who i am and watever they say to me doesnt faze me, and wen they say somthing about my friends or make fun of my beilefs than i but them in there place.
“I told you from the start just how this would end. When I get what I want, I never want it again.” — Courtney Love
“If he doesn’t treat you like a princess, then he doesn’t deserve to be your prince.” — Unknown
“And we’ll move on and go our separate ways. Just know, I’ll miss you everyday, but things just aren’t the same.” — Unknown
not a bad day acctualy, i dont go one with out ridicule, but i just ignore it. they dont no me, and what happens in my life, if they dont like how i dress or look than thats there problem and they can suck it up. and the only reason they said im a lesbian is because they dont have real friends that will give you a hug just because. im proud of who i am and watever they say to me doesnt faze me, and wen they say somthing about my friends or make fun of my beilefs than i but them in there place.
You are who you are. You are one of us! These popular kids who are mean..... they soon fade away. The most important thing in my experience is to believe in and practice kindness and sincerity, and the more you do that - the more things go your way. You are a good person - thoughtful and sensitive. These bullies are usually just empty inside. Keep on doing your thing!
Cancel my subscription to the Ressurection
Send my credentials to the house of detention
'I don't know.... do you think can you handle it?'
Thank you for handling it each time, so fine!
oh and thanks for the pizza too!
Stickmen? ... who knew you were such an artist!
'Until death do us part' and you meant it... thank you!
Fun... I didn't know fun till I married you! Thank you for the laughs,
the spins on the dance floor, the drives by the lake and the shrimp cocktails!
My Peanut ... if I didn't know before, I knew that moment,
You my husband, are a keeper!
Thank you breathing coach,
I could not have done it natural without you... you kept me strong
and then counted the toes and fingers and bathed that little buster!
The cassette tape of baby giggles... it is a precious memory
and he is a precious son, thank you for staying strong for me through his illness.
Thank you for understanding and welcoming baby girl into our lives.
We made a beautiful woman.
Hey thanks for all the sweat, all the fix up, deck building... awesome I might add,
remodeling, pool diggin, tree planting. You are the MAN!
Working 3 jobs just for us.. thank you! What a wonderful example for our children you are!
Thanks for going with me to visit Dad in the nursing home ... that was tough
and for being there when he passed... understanding the anger and shame
and for never ever judging me.
Inspired thought ... thanks for the move to a better place!
Thank you for putting up with me...for caring if I lived or died
and trying to make everything right
even when it wasn't you at all ...I am sorry and I love you
Thank you for crying with us when Maggie Mae had to leave this world,
this the bond, the good that came from that terrible loss.
Thank you soooo much for working day and night for your family... having the vision,
building a successful business, bringing us to the lake
and always wanting more for us. You did well!
Thank you for being a good son and brother,
for remaining strong during the shock and pain and showing the kids how we say goodbye.
I miss him too everyday.
Thank you for being my Mom's hero.... you made her last days much happier,
she smiles down on you, she loves you so.
We light the candle together, thank you for your shoulder and strong arms.
Thank you for being my PJ buddy... always willing to go no question.... whatever I want.
No money worries, just always happy to go and happy to be with me.
OMG the terrible teens... How did we make it through? Oh I know...
Thanks for showing them how much you love them!
Fast forward to 2009 what can I say? Thank you for doing it all.
Working, cooking, shopping, laundry, cleaning, therapy, doctor visits,
sharing tears, feeling the pain and fear with me, keeping the hope and faith.
10 thank you's is just not enough. I could not have made it through without your love!
You showed me what true love is... It is sacrifice.
Thank you also for understanding my limitations as we finish our life together.
This comfort and security you have given me, your lovely words, thank you for just being here!
# 32! Thank you for singing our song... Smile was awesome at karaoke Saturday night!
So this is our life.... I know you have shed some tears reading this, as I....
this what I love most about you... your amazing heart.
I knew we always envisioned Hawaii for our 30th but it matters not
wherever we are, together, is the right place to be!
Each day an anniversary... each day a celebration
32 thank you's and a zillion I love you's,
James Bryan....
It's so nice to have you here!
http://www.Etsy.com/Shop/SimpleEarthCreations
"How I choose to feel is how I am." ~ EV/MMc
"Some people hear their own inner voices with great clearness and they live by what they hear. Such people become crazy, or they become legends." ~ One Stab ~
wooooooooo I AM GOIN TO THE PJ CONCERT IN WISCONSIN THIS LABOR DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY FIRST PJ EXPERIANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHOS GOING????? I WANNA MEET U ALL FACE 2 FACE
“I told you from the start just how this would end. When I get what I want, I never want it again.” — Courtney Love
“If he doesn’t treat you like a princess, then he doesn’t deserve to be your prince.” — Unknown
“And we’ll move on and go our separate ways. Just know, I’ll miss you everyday, but things just aren’t the same.” — Unknown
not a bad day acctualy, i dont go one with out ridicule, but i just ignore it. they dont no me, and what happens in my life, if they dont like how i dress or look than thats there problem and they can suck it up. and the only reason they said im a lesbian is because they dont have real friends that will give you a hug just because. im proud of who i am and watever they say to me doesnt faze me, and wen they say somthing about my friends or make fun of my beilefs than i but them in there place.
You are who you are. You are one of us! These popular kids who are mean..... they soon fade away. The most important thing in my experience is to believe in and practice kindness and sincerity, and the more you do that - the more things go your way. You are a good person - thoughtful and sensitive. These bullies are usually just empty inside. Keep on doing your thing!
and i will *pinky swear* pinky swears are hard core to!!!! o and all the guitarists out there will be proud of how hard core i really am... i cut my finger wile bending a string so i put super glue over it so i culd keep playing XD
“I told you from the start just how this would end. When I get what I want, I never want it again.” — Courtney Love
“If he doesn’t treat you like a princess, then he doesn’t deserve to be your prince.” — Unknown
“And we’ll move on and go our separate ways. Just know, I’ll miss you everyday, but things just aren’t the same.” — Unknown
Slowly with care, I return to watch, comfortable for the moment ... I sigh.
I'm here to admire the years of my handiwork,
years that have brought me to this day.
I remember the earth in my hands, the smell, cool and rich and brown,
this now the smell of bygone days.
By memory... the giant yellow wheelbarrow filled to the brim,
with all the colors of the rainbow and the sweet promise of new life.
Life that returns to me each year, life that brings me such joy,
life I can depend on, life that makes my life.
Life in the Garden....
"An hour in the garden puts life's problems in perspective"
the motto I have lived by... carved on a stone at my feet.
Today I rejoice in the colors, the colors of all my hard work.
The tiger lillies bright orange, the roses hot pink and more, rose red to coral light.
Big balls of blue, the hydrangea and then the yucca, tall and white.
A single Easter lily planted seasons ago, the fragrance I smell where I sit.
The day lillies and rubrums are also in full bud, awaiting their glory days to come.
I recall their scents from memory, each one unique as their color combo of petals.
Next to me, strategically planted, my gardenia.
It's buds ready to burst with the promise of their heavy wax smell,
a truly, truly, heavenly smell.
Next weekend, I think, we will enjoy it with cocktail by evening pool light,
acknowledging the most wonderful tropical delight!
Beyond are the ponds with the lilly pads and iris, ponds that I dug out myself.
Now they are home to my pool sharing, evening swim frogs,
that bring smiles, laughter and delight.
Speaking of whom...
at this moment a frog croaks and brings me back to today.
Smiling, my eyes drift to my friends that live here, hmmm ...
Do they seem to have adjusted their pace just a little?
In pace with the mistress they know
Are my birds flying somewhat slower, the chippies, cheeks stuffed full,
could they be staying a little longer, the dragonflies perhaps darting less?
My dearest anoles, do they come nearer and listen more closely
to the words I instictively share?
The world indeed is turning a little slower, perhaps having lost some life giving force.
Together we will sit and enjoy the time spent for time is all that we have....
Comments
Nightime chills of memory
Sit more easily
Than what you did to her
What you do to them
All I've endured
Unlocked the first time
By the chill
The cold knife in the back as she told me her story
My innocence scratched and serrated in those moments
And it never returned
Her fire burned so brightly
Yet she had two jumpers on I remember
As she told me
And yet she shivered
As you walked me through it
I have a memory
Like I was descending stairs
It still haunts me
One word and I had a cruel alarm bell ringing
Another word and I was descending the steps
No light here
Steps to the cellar, to the basement
I really didn't want to go down
But I was with you
I loved you
I heard you
What else was I to do?
Another word another detail
Descending dark steps
My life to that point was ripped up and scattered
Like the blue skies
To black
Tainted, tattooed
Everything
And when you had finished it never got easier
It never gets easier
You only get tougher
I remember from that day I made a vow
I didn't cut my hair for four years
Until you left me
Until they dragged me away
People around me watched me change
Yet they never knew the secret
You changed me
He changed me
They changed me
But what they don't know
But what they might just find out
Is that whilst I was descending that stairwell
I reached for two things
Some protection
And a gun
Send my credentials to the house of detention
im scared to find out but im also curious he says he has a present for me next saturday...
“If he doesn’t treat you like a princess, then he doesn’t deserve to be your prince.” — Unknown
“And we’ll move on and go our separate ways. Just know, I’ll miss you everyday, but things just aren’t the same.” — Unknown
Heroes
Succumb to the warm breath
in a sterile white room,
my moment marks eternity.
Added knowledge of 3 days to pass,
this accepted as it is written.
Innocent eyes gone but almost grown,
remain locked in mine,
remain locked in time.
"I always wanted to die a hero."
These words spoken aloud
now echo in the divine,
Love replacing Fear.
the eyes of truth are upon us
must I ascend
into that white light?
the Knowledge there ....
..............
of me ...
Have I passed that test?
Am I welcome ?
Will they see
all that I've tried to be
or only
what i have become?
jo
http://www.Etsy.com/Shop/SimpleEarthCreations
"How I choose to feel is how I am." ~ EV/MMc
"Some people hear their own inner voices with great clearness and they live by what they hear. Such people become crazy, or they become legends." ~ One Stab ~
Thank you Pandi. I can only hope to be a small percentage of what you and the other folks here are. but I have fun trying
jo
http://www.Etsy.com/Shop/SimpleEarthCreations
"How I choose to feel is how I am." ~ EV/MMc
"Some people hear their own inner voices with great clearness and they live by what they hear. Such people become crazy, or they become legends." ~ One Stab ~
Like!
Send my credentials to the house of detention
“If he doesn’t treat you like a princess, then he doesn’t deserve to be your prince.” — Unknown
“And we’ll move on and go our separate ways. Just know, I’ll miss you everyday, but things just aren’t the same.” — Unknown
walk with it.
Be confident in it,
feel it,
radiate it.
Find peace in it.
Defend yourself,
arm yourself with Love.
Wield it.
Share it.
Never be ashamed of it.
Love and love will follow you.
You will be forever strong.
Great words. I think I will come back to this one.
(Hope your day improves 1997)
Send my credentials to the house of detention
to live by
jo
http://www.Etsy.com/Shop/SimpleEarthCreations
"How I choose to feel is how I am." ~ EV/MMc
"Some people hear their own inner voices with great clearness and they live by what they hear. Such people become crazy, or they become legends." ~ One Stab ~
“If he doesn’t treat you like a princess, then he doesn’t deserve to be your prince.” — Unknown
“And we’ll move on and go our separate ways. Just know, I’ll miss you everyday, but things just aren’t the same.” — Unknown
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FR3jSAKwENA
I feel that with my hubby
he is my refuge
the world is all wrong but love is all right
thank you!
You are who you are. You are one of us! These popular kids who are mean..... they soon fade away. The most important thing in my experience is to believe in and practice kindness and sincerity, and the more you do that - the more things go your way. You are a good person - thoughtful and sensitive. These bullies are usually just empty inside. Keep on doing your thing!
Send my credentials to the house of detention
where's the wolf been
He hasn't posted since April 3.
'I don't know.... do you think can you handle it?'
Thank you for handling it each time, so fine!
oh and thanks for the pizza too!
Stickmen? ... who knew you were such an artist!
'Until death do us part' and you meant it... thank you!
Fun... I didn't know fun till I married you! Thank you for the laughs,
the spins on the dance floor, the drives by the lake and the shrimp cocktails!
My Peanut ... if I didn't know before, I knew that moment,
You my husband, are a keeper!
Thank you breathing coach,
I could not have done it natural without you... you kept me strong
and then counted the toes and fingers and bathed that little buster!
The cassette tape of baby giggles... it is a precious memory
and he is a precious son, thank you for staying strong for me through his illness.
Thank you for understanding and welcoming baby girl into our lives.
We made a beautiful woman.
Hey thanks for all the sweat, all the fix up, deck building... awesome I might add,
remodeling, pool diggin, tree planting. You are the MAN!
Working 3 jobs just for us.. thank you! What a wonderful example for our children you are!
Thanks for going with me to visit Dad in the nursing home ... that was tough
and for being there when he passed... understanding the anger and shame
and for never ever judging me.
Inspired thought ... thanks for the move to a better place!
Thank you for putting up with me...for caring if I lived or died
and trying to make everything right
even when it wasn't you at all ...I am sorry and I love you
Thank you for crying with us when Maggie Mae had to leave this world,
this the bond, the good that came from that terrible loss.
Thank you soooo much for working day and night for your family... having the vision,
building a successful business, bringing us to the lake
and always wanting more for us. You did well!
Thank you for being a good son and brother,
for remaining strong during the shock and pain and showing the kids how we say goodbye.
I miss him too everyday.
Thank you for being my Mom's hero.... you made her last days much happier,
she smiles down on you, she loves you so.
We light the candle together, thank you for your shoulder and strong arms.
Thank you for being my PJ buddy... always willing to go no question.... whatever I want.
No money worries, just always happy to go and happy to be with me.
OMG the terrible teens... How did we make it through? Oh I know...
Thanks for showing them how much you love them!
Fast forward to 2009 what can I say? Thank you for doing it all.
Working, cooking, shopping, laundry, cleaning, therapy, doctor visits,
sharing tears, feeling the pain and fear with me, keeping the hope and faith.
10 thank you's is just not enough. I could not have made it through without your love!
You showed me what true love is... It is sacrifice.
Thank you also for understanding my limitations as we finish our life together.
This comfort and security you have given me, your lovely words, thank you for just being here!
# 32! Thank you for singing our song... Smile was awesome at karaoke Saturday night!
So this is our life.... I know you have shed some tears reading this, as I....
this what I love most about you... your amazing heart.
I knew we always envisioned Hawaii for our 30th but it matters not
wherever we are, together, is the right place to be!
Each day an anniversary... each day a celebration
32 thank you's and a zillion I love you's,
James Bryan....
It's so nice to have you here!
is how that made me feel
thanks so much for sharing that Pandi
That is beautiful
YOU are beautiful
*hugs*
jo
http://www.Etsy.com/Shop/SimpleEarthCreations
"How I choose to feel is how I am." ~ EV/MMc
"Some people hear their own inner voices with great clearness and they live by what they hear. Such people become crazy, or they become legends." ~ One Stab ~
want to be enlightened"
Thankyou for sharing such beautiful words and feelings. We wish you much happiness together.
Lots of love
t
Send my credentials to the house of detention
“If he doesn’t treat you like a princess, then he doesn’t deserve to be your prince.” — Unknown
“And we’ll move on and go our separate ways. Just know, I’ll miss you everyday, but things just aren’t the same.” — Unknown
“If he doesn’t treat you like a princess, then he doesn’t deserve to be your prince.” — Unknown
“And we’ll move on and go our separate ways. Just know, I’ll miss you everyday, but things just aren’t the same.” — Unknown
OUR TRUTH
To gruesome a picture.
File it under fleeting.
Only a flash of emotion remains.
His tiny body on a stretcher.
Kept covered from the shame.
Glimpses of red sneak out from beneath.
The doctor's faces tell the story.
The nurse's tell the fear.
As the room clears, now we are alone.
Take two and I see.
But my mind turns away.
He leaps, runs to hide but not far.
Enter arrogance on cue.
With fine clothes and a smirk.
The monster, of course, lawyered up.
His voice a lasting shiver.
Can not shake it like a picture.
It echos straight through my heart.
"You can prove nothing, Pandora.
Knowledge is not proof."
Icy words form steam from his mouth.
In the dark, my hushed whisper.
'This faith is your ruin.
My knowledge will someday be Our Truth.
Wow, powerful. Chilling enigmatic, revealing and determined. Very powerful words. I believe you
Send my credentials to the house of detention
Slowly with care, I return to watch, comfortable for the moment ... I sigh.
I'm here to admire the years of my handiwork,
years that have brought me to this day.
I remember the earth in my hands, the smell, cool and rich and brown,
this now the smell of bygone days.
By memory... the giant yellow wheelbarrow filled to the brim,
with all the colors of the rainbow and the sweet promise of new life.
Life that returns to me each year, life that brings me such joy,
life I can depend on, life that makes my life.
Life in the Garden....
"An hour in the garden puts life's problems in perspective"
the motto I have lived by... carved on a stone at my feet.
Today I rejoice in the colors, the colors of all my hard work.
The tiger lillies bright orange, the roses hot pink and more, rose red to coral light.
Big balls of blue, the hydrangea and then the yucca, tall and white.
A single Easter lily planted seasons ago, the fragrance I smell where I sit.
The day lillies and rubrums are also in full bud, awaiting their glory days to come.
I recall their scents from memory, each one unique as their color combo of petals.
Next to me, strategically planted, my gardenia.
It's buds ready to burst with the promise of their heavy wax smell,
a truly, truly, heavenly smell.
Next weekend, I think, we will enjoy it with cocktail by evening pool light,
acknowledging the most wonderful tropical delight!
Beyond are the ponds with the lilly pads and iris, ponds that I dug out myself.
Now they are home to my pool sharing, evening swim frogs,
that bring smiles, laughter and delight.
Speaking of whom...
at this moment a frog croaks and brings me back to today.
Smiling, my eyes drift to my friends that live here, hmmm ...
Do they seem to have adjusted their pace just a little?
In pace with the mistress they know
Are my birds flying somewhat slower, the chippies, cheeks stuffed full,
could they be staying a little longer, the dragonflies perhaps darting less?
My dearest anoles, do they come nearer and listen more closely
to the words I instictively share?
The world indeed is turning a little slower, perhaps having lost some life giving force.
Together we will sit and enjoy the time spent for time is all that we have....
And we thank God for the time that we have.