Well one time I had to have a heart to heart with my bf of the time as his brother lived with us (lazy bastard too) and his girlfriend (was a good friend of mine too)was there ALL the time. Same thing she never contributed and then he gave her a set of keys to the house!!! That was the final straw for me, because I believe that should have been something discussed between the three of us. As it was his brother wasn't on the lease and I was fuming.
Anyway we had a chat with the brother and he was really cut up about it, but acknowledged that he should have dicussed with us, so took the keys back off her and he started giving us extra money for her staying there. Then she got really narky and rude because she thought we were picking on her and expecting too much of the brother, so she would come into our house and completely ignore us, not even a hello!! :evil: Needless to say I was ropeable, so we decided that sexercise needed to step up a notch (small house, thin walls etc) and apparently that wasn't appreciated. He complained to us that she complained that she couldn't sleep because of us, so in turn we basically told him that as she actually wasn't a contributing resident of the house perhaps she she consider staying at her own home more often or quite possibly that they had reached the stage in thier relationship that they perhaps should get thier own place. Needless to say, by the end of the week they had moved into thier own place, we were never invited over and they broke up 6 weeks later and she left him with the lease to pay on his own. When he had finalised his lease he asked to move back into our place, but we had also realised that we were quite happy on our own and rejected that idea politely.
Look he didn't want to talk to us for a while, but finally came around and realised that he had let gettin pussy whipped come between him and a good deal. We all got along fine after that (except her she pissed off and baggedme out to everyone at work, but that failed for her too) and I think we all learnt some pretty big lessons about share accomodation.
Ok so my situation was a tad differnt, but don't bottle it up as it will only get worse and you could end up damaging a great friendship. Just air it out and see what you can come up with....oh and vent away.
Well one time I had to have a heart to heart with my bf of the time as his brother lived with us (lazy bastard too) and his girlfriend (was a good friend of mine too)was there ALL the time. Same thing she never contributed and then he gave her a set of keys to the house!!! That was the final straw for me, because I believe that should have been something discussed between the three of us. As it was his brother wasn't on the lease and I was fuming.
Anyway we had a chat with the brother and he was really cut up about it, but acknowledged that he should have dicussed with us, so took the keys back off her and he started giving us extra money for her staying there. Then she got really narky and rude because she thought we were picking on her and expecting too much of the brother, so she would come into our house and completely ignore us, not even a hello!! :evil: Needless to say I was ropeable, so we decided that sexercise needed to step up a notch (small house, thin walls etc) and apparently that wasn't appreciated. He complained to us that she complained that she couldn't sleep because of us, so in turn we basically told him that as she actually wasn't a contributing resident of the house perhaps she she consider staying at her own home more often or quite possibly that they had reached the stage in thier relationship that they perhaps should get thier own place. Needless to say, by the end of the week they had moved into thier own place, we were never invited over and they broke up 6 weeks later and she left him with the lease to pay on his own. When he had finalised his lease he asked to move back into our place, but we had also realised that we were quite happy on our own and rejected that idea politely.
Look he didn't want to talk to us for a while, but finally came around and realised that he had let gettin pussy whipped come between him and a good deal. We all got along fine after that (except her she pissed off and baggedme out to everyone at work, but that failed for her too) and I think we all learnt some pretty big lessons about share accomodation.
Ok so my situation was a tad differnt, but don't bottle it up as it will only get worse and you could end up damaging a great friendship. Just air it out and see what you can come up with....oh and vent away.
Yeah, that does suck..
This girl at least asked if I was ok with her being around all the time, which I appreciated that she cared and of course I said it was no problem.. my dilemma is telling my friend a reason I'm getting my own place. He knows I want to buy eventually, so thats a reason, but if I choose not to buy, I want to have a reason I'd be renting on my own.
If he's a good friend and he's very happy, I think maybe it might be better not to hurt his feelings by saying too much.
After all, she's not doing anything so terrible except leaving dishes in the sink and hanging around at her boyfriend's house. You just don't like her and don't like having to be around her so much.
It might damage your friendship if you say things that could possibly break them up.
If he's a good friend and he's very happy, I think maybe it might be better not to hurt his feelings by saying too much.
After all, she's not doing anything so terrible except leaving dishes in the sink and hanging around at her boyfriend's house. You just don't like her and don't like having to be around her so much.
It might damage your friendship if you say things that could possibly break them up.
I'm fine with them staying together. I've made the decision not to interfere a while ago.
Well, the other option is pull out the aspect of her being his girlfriend and just talk to him about how you feel about having extra people in the house all the time.
Maybe focus on the idea that you need more alone time than you're getting because there's a third person hanging out all the time? That idea wouldn't be offensive if it was just a friend of his (rather than his romantic interest) so maybe he could understand it without getting hurt?
Well, the other option is pull out the aspect of her being his girlfriend and just talk to him about how you feel about having extra people in the house all the time.
Maybe focus on the idea that you need more alone time than you're getting because there's a third person hanging out all the time? That idea wouldn't be offensive if it was just a friend of his (rather than his romantic interest) so maybe he could understand it without getting hurt?
Use the third wheel excuse. As I touched on before.....couples need thier space and you feel you are encroaching on that.
I don't know if I've spoke of the situation before, but she's only 21, a decade younger than us. Actually over 11 years younger than my roommate. That would be fine and legal and all, except she acts like she's 13 years old. I feel like I'm babysitting.
She's off school for the summer. Has no job. No car. No hobbies. Somehow has 800-something facebook friends, but no real life friends. She had a birthday party and invited a handful of them, and nobody besides her boyfriend and I showed up.. All she does is play Sims or watches movies ALL day. And when she's not doing that, she's either sleeping 12 hrs straight, or she won't shut the fuck up. She's very clingy and insecure..
She's here rent free. She never cleans. Never does the dishes. She cook meals for herself all day, but fills the sink with dishes and I usually have to do them dishes before I can eat.
I'm convinced the only reason my friend is with her is because he's so reserved and passive and she puts out 6 times a day. I know this and the whole neighborhood probably knows this since she screams and moans, often waking me up in the middle of the night.
His whole family can't stand her. His friends won't hang out with him anymore. Everyone thinks she is a joke. The only reason I don't step in is because he seems truly happy..
...
You're a guy, right?
Just go into that 'Guy Trance' that all guys have... you know, when your girlfriend or wife is nagging you about some shit or you're in a fight or something... that trance all of guys are innately born with.
That's probably what your roommate does... check him out the next time she's yammering abount useless nonsense. I bet his eyes glaze over with that far away look... probably thinking about her giving him head or something... you know, going to a happy place.
Just do that and you'll be fine.
Allen Fieldhouse, home of the 2008 NCAA men's Basketball Champions! Go Jayhawks!
Hail, Hail!!!
I definitely remember a thread about this roommate situation a few months ago. You were concerned then about how you were going to stand it when summer got here. And now . . . . :crazy:
Do you have an ipod? That might help with tuning out the constant yammering.
One thing that I wouldn't be able to put up with is someone who makes use of the kitchen and doesn't clean up after themselves. I'm far from a neat freak but if you're going to fix meals for yourself, you have to do your own dishes. For the sake of peace I probably wouldn't tell your friend that his girl is effin obnoxious. But good roommate etiquette says people HAVE to clean up their own messes. Maybe if you can get some cooperation in a few areas the situation will be a little more tolerable.
I'm also wondering if the relationship will survive the summer. Maybe he could tune her out when he only saw her on the weekends. But everyday, that's another story.
As you said, you might be buying your grandma's house.
You can save $1000 per month.
The best option is to stay put.
Maybe work some overtime to stay out of the house and put $1500 away per month?
Get out whenever possible! If you dont like her, then leave. I know its your apartment and not hers but you can definitely find much better things to do outside..
Definitely talk to your roomate/ best friend about her and the way you feel.
If he truly is your best friend then he will understand and get her to help out with the dishes etc.
also, play some really loud Pearl jam music... makes you feel better and it will probably annoy her!
Good luck man!
2003: 7/14 NJ ... 2006: 6/1 NJ, 6/3 NJ ... 2007: 8/5 IL ... 2008: 6/24 NY, 6/25 NY, 8/7 EV NJ ... 2009: 10/27 PA, 10/28 PA, 10/30 PA, 10/31 PA 2010: 5/20 NY, 5/21 NY ... 2011: 6/21 EV NY, 9/3 WI, 9/4 WI ... 2012: 9/2 PA, 9/22 GA ... 2013: 10/18 NY, 10/19 NY, 10/21 PA, 10/22 PA, 10/27 MD 2015: 9/23 NY, 9/26 NY ... 2016: 4/28 PA, 4/29 PA, 5/1 NY, 5/2 NY, 6/11 TN, 8/7 MA, 11/4 TOTD PA, 11/5 TOTD PA ... 2018: 8/10 WA 2022: 9/14 NJ ... 2024: 5/28 WA, 9/7 PA, 9/9 PA ---- http://imgur.com/a/nk0s7
politeness???
i haven't been polite since i was 2 years old.
my suggestion is...
stick up for yourself.
perhaps be nice the first couple of times. (which is tough i know)
after being nice a few times and they're still fucked in the head, there is only a full invitation for war.
simple shit...
take her by the hand and show her the dirty dishes.
wash 'em, you dirtied the fuckers... you wash 'em.
why aren't you vacuuming the floors?
do ya'll smoke weed?
you can't talk to your dude?
dude, what's up with the dirty dishes?
you have the right to tell someone they talk to much.
you have the right to tell them they get on your nerves.
politeness???
i haven't been polite since i was 2 years old.
my suggestion is...
stick up for yourself.
perhaps be nice the first couple of times. (which is tough i know)
after being nice a few times and they're still fucked in the head, there is only a full invitation for war.
simple shit...
take her by the hand and show her the dirty dishes.
wash 'em, you dirtied the fuckers... you wash 'em.
why aren't you vacuuming the floors?
do ya'll smoke weed?
you can't talk to your dude?
dude, what's up with the dirty dishes?
you have the right to tell someone they talk to much.
you have the right to tell them they get on your nerves.
people need to own their shit.
lol, I'm nearing that point.
I already went off on them about the garbage. They will not change the garbage. They will smash and pile garbage into the can until it is a mountain above the lid and ready to crumble. I don't know how many times I went to throw away something and couldn't until I hand picked the mound into another bag before I could remove the old bad and replace it with a new on.. That was the first time went off, and I might go off again soon.
politeness???
i haven't been polite since i was 2 years old.
my suggestion is...
stick up for yourself.
perhaps be nice the first couple of times. (which is tough i know)
after being nice a few times and they're still fucked in the head, there is only a full invitation for war.
simple shit...
take her by the hand and show her the dirty dishes.
wash 'em, you dirtied the fuckers... you wash 'em.
why aren't you vacuuming the floors?
do ya'll smoke weed?
you can't talk to your dude?
dude, what's up with the dirty dishes?
you have the right to tell someone they talk to much.
you have the right to tell them they get on your nerves.
people need to own their shit.
lol, I'm nearing that point.
I already went off on them about the garbage. They will not change the garbage. They will smash and pile garbage into the can until it is a mountain above the lid and ready to crumble. I don't know how many times I went to throw away something and couldn't until I hand picked the mound into another bag before I could remove the old bad and replace it with a new on.. That was the first time went off, and I might go off again soon.
I live with slobs!!!
i am not a clean freak.
i do believe in sharing household chores.
communication is your friend.
use it with greatness.
also... axes, swords, spears, and hammers make for impressive communication tools.
i have never owned a cell phone or fax machine.
ugh that sucks. I'd spend a hellova lot less time in that household if I were you. Find shit to do that doesn't involve being there. Maybe you could mention how you can hear the hump sessions and perhaps that will embarrass her enough to have some tact. Hate rude and inconsiderate roommates!
Just develop some interests that keep you out of the house a lot. Talk to the guy about things that can be addressed. Tell him maybe don't fuck her so hard that she sings an opera in the bedroom, set up some limits for hogging up the computer, if they don't change the trash just haul the can into their bedroom once it's too full.
Tell him you're going to deduct $50 from the rent every time she annoys you, and then at the end of the month give him a bill for $4550.
"Money is no object," I said, "but I am on a budget."
Comments
ah come on. hes an aussie... were pretty laid back about everything... 'cept sport... were deadly serious about that shit.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
OMG so true about the sport! :roll:
"I need your strength for me to be strong...I need your love to feel loved"
well see heres the thing.... i dont like sharing. been there done that... and for me now menage with 2 girls is menage with 1 girl too many.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
And weirdo lighting! Don't forget the weirdo lighting!
"I need your strength for me to be strong...I need your love to feel loved"
I'm dead sexy
The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill
A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
Any takers?
"I need your strength for me to be strong...I need your love to feel loved"
How you doin'?
"I need your strength for me to be strong...I need your love to feel loved"
Anyway we had a chat with the brother and he was really cut up about it, but acknowledged that he should have dicussed with us, so took the keys back off her and he started giving us extra money for her staying there. Then she got really narky and rude because she thought we were picking on her and expecting too much of the brother, so she would come into our house and completely ignore us, not even a hello!! :evil: Needless to say I was ropeable, so we decided that sexercise needed to step up a notch (small house, thin walls etc) and apparently that wasn't appreciated. He complained to us that she complained that she couldn't sleep because of us, so in turn we basically told him that as she actually wasn't a contributing resident of the house perhaps she she consider staying at her own home more often or quite possibly that they had reached the stage in thier relationship that they perhaps should get thier own place. Needless to say, by the end of the week they had moved into thier own place, we were never invited over and they broke up 6 weeks later and she left him with the lease to pay on his own. When he had finalised his lease he asked to move back into our place, but we had also realised that we were quite happy on our own and rejected that idea politely.
Look he didn't want to talk to us for a while, but finally came around and realised that he had let gettin pussy whipped come between him and a good deal. We all got along fine after that (except her she pissed off and baggedme out to everyone at work, but that failed for her too) and I think we all learnt some pretty big lessons about share accomodation.
Ok so my situation was a tad differnt, but don't bottle it up as it will only get worse and you could end up damaging a great friendship. Just air it out and see what you can come up with....oh and vent away.
This girl at least asked if I was ok with her being around all the time, which I appreciated that she cared and of course I said it was no problem.. my dilemma is telling my friend a reason I'm getting my own place. He knows I want to buy eventually, so thats a reason, but if I choose not to buy, I want to have a reason I'd be renting on my own.
After all, she's not doing anything so terrible except leaving dishes in the sink and hanging around at her boyfriend's house. You just don't like her and don't like having to be around her so much.
It might damage your friendship if you say things that could possibly break them up.
Maybe focus on the idea that you need more alone time than you're getting because there's a third person hanging out all the time? That idea wouldn't be offensive if it was just a friend of his (rather than his romantic interest) so maybe he could understand it without getting hurt?
Use the third wheel excuse. As I touched on before.....couples need thier space and you feel you are encroaching on that.
You're a guy, right?
Just go into that 'Guy Trance' that all guys have... you know, when your girlfriend or wife is nagging you about some shit or you're in a fight or something... that trance all of guys are innately born with.
That's probably what your roommate does... check him out the next time she's yammering abount useless nonsense. I bet his eyes glaze over with that far away look... probably thinking about her giving him head or something... you know, going to a happy place.
Just do that and you'll be fine.
Hail, Hail!!!
Do you have an ipod? That might help with tuning out the constant yammering.
One thing that I wouldn't be able to put up with is someone who makes use of the kitchen and doesn't clean up after themselves. I'm far from a neat freak but if you're going to fix meals for yourself, you have to do your own dishes. For the sake of peace I probably wouldn't tell your friend that his girl is effin obnoxious. But good roommate etiquette says people HAVE to clean up their own messes. Maybe if you can get some cooperation in a few areas the situation will be a little more tolerable.
I'm also wondering if the relationship will survive the summer. Maybe he could tune her out when he only saw her on the weekends. But everyday, that's another story.
Why do you need to be polite??
Why do you even need to bring up his girlfriend???
Just tell the guy you are moving out....
Give him the date you are moving....
And thats that....
Right???
Why do you give a fuck what he thinks, or how he feels?????
Just move out and go on with your life.....right????
Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
Where does he fall on the "hot/crazy" scale?
"Forgive every being,
the bad feelings
it's just me"
You can save $1000 per month.
The best option is to stay put.
Maybe work some overtime to stay out of the house and put $1500 away per month?
Get out whenever possible! If you dont like her, then leave. I know its your apartment and not hers but you can definitely find much better things to do outside..
Definitely talk to your roomate/ best friend about her and the way you feel.
If he truly is your best friend then he will understand and get her to help out with the dishes etc.
also, play some really loud Pearl jam music... makes you feel better and it will probably annoy her!
Good luck man!
2010: 5/20 NY, 5/21 NY ... 2011: 6/21 EV NY, 9/3 WI, 9/4 WI ... 2012: 9/2 PA, 9/22 GA ... 2013: 10/18 NY, 10/19 NY, 10/21 PA, 10/22 PA, 10/27 MD
2015: 9/23 NY, 9/26 NY ... 2016: 4/28 PA, 4/29 PA, 5/1 NY, 5/2 NY, 6/11 TN, 8/7 MA, 11/4 TOTD PA, 11/5 TOTD PA ... 2018: 8/10 WA
2022: 9/14 NJ ... 2024: 5/28 WA, 9/7 PA, 9/9 PA ---- http://imgur.com/a/nk0s7
This is what will end up happening. I feel bad though because financially, the situation is greatly benefitting us both.
Get him on this thread and we'll straighten him out...
i haven't been polite since i was 2 years old.
my suggestion is...
stick up for yourself.
perhaps be nice the first couple of times. (which is tough i know)
after being nice a few times and they're still fucked in the head, there is only a full invitation for war.
simple shit...
take her by the hand and show her the dirty dishes.
wash 'em, you dirtied the fuckers... you wash 'em.
why aren't you vacuuming the floors?
do ya'll smoke weed?
you can't talk to your dude?
dude, what's up with the dirty dishes?
you have the right to tell someone they talk to much.
you have the right to tell them they get on your nerves.
people need to own their shit.
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
lol, I'm nearing that point.
I already went off on them about the garbage. They will not change the garbage. They will smash and pile garbage into the can until it is a mountain above the lid and ready to crumble. I don't know how many times I went to throw away something and couldn't until I hand picked the mound into another bag before I could remove the old bad and replace it with a new on.. That was the first time went off, and I might go off again soon.
I live with slobs!!!
i am not a clean freak.
i do believe in sharing household chores.
communication is your friend.
use it with greatness.
also... axes, swords, spears, and hammers make for impressive communication tools.
i have never owned a cell phone or fax machine.
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
Tell him you're going to deduct $50 from the rent every time she annoys you, and then at the end of the month give him a bill for $4550.
How cute is the top of her head?
Hail, Hail!!!