I didn't worry about impressing him because I already knew he was WAY faster/better than me...the conversation when we were running/walking went really well and then he asked me to meet him for dinner afterwards...
wow that's pretty good. I've met very few people who would be comfortable in either or those positions- being the slower runner or the faster runner. I would be embarrassed to run with a guy who's faster than I am and it seems so few runners would be willing to run at a pace that's not a challenge for them just to talk to someone. I'd be afraid a good runner wouldn't like me anymore if he didn't think I was fit enough! I sometimes do casual rides with a cycling group, but I don't feel like I could meet guys doing something athletic-- I feel like they're always judging me on my fitness level (whether it's lower than there's or not). I guess it comes from years of online dating and reading over and over again requests for women who are not "fit" not to write to them. And I'm fit, I just go in phases of being in awesome shape and being in decent shape and I usually feel like the latter wouldn't be good enough for a guy! That's really impressive that you didn't feel intimidated- I would have been really nervous about screwing up and looking like a slacker!
nah, that's not it. I'm just shy and don't know what to say. Plus, I've kind of gotten to the point that like, why do I always have to make a move? Like there's a guy at my gym who is always smiling at me, and my friends are like, "you should go talk to him" and but it's like he's the one who likes me, I'm not particularly interested at this point, so why should I have to go through all the trouble.[/quote]
Try and weigh the cost/benefit of approaching someone:
Downside - they aren't interested, so your pride/feelings may get hurt, but you will recover.
Upside - you may find eternal, or perhaps, temporary love and happiness.
if you're interested in someone, you go for it....no excuses. you don't 'worry' about ruining your run, or being too slow or too fast....b/c you both are in it to get to know each other, not a work-out. that can come later.
if you're not interested, you move on...no excuses. if someone is flirty or not, if you're not into them...you just go about your business.
it's quite simple that.
i may be long out of the game, but i know a lot of single, or recently coupled folks....and i'd say it's a pretty 60/40 split nowadays on who met in real life and who met online. all viable options.
and love and happiness is an awesome thing, but if you are still looking for *something* perhaps you want to ADD to that love and happiness....some romantic love and happiness. if not, i guess just want to get laid? all good options there too. i think it helps to know what you want, then you know how to look for it, seek it...or let it find you too. being open to it is a big plus.
No need for me to smoke...my mind already works in absurd ways!
i just ate...tho cherries await. yummmm.
and i knew i liked ya!
keeping on topic, you met the soon-to-be mrs. joex3 online or organically?
i met the mr. dream the old-fashioned way at a party, tho knew him for years before.
i think it helps to know what you want, then you know how to look for it, seek it...or let it find you too.
I don't really believe that you can want a certain kind of relationship. Well no, I guess you could "want" one, but I think the relationships you have is dictated by the people you meet. For example, if you meet someone you have sexual chemistry with, but don't want to hang out with all the time, then you simply have a hook up thing with them. If you meet someone you have sexual chemistry with, plus you like hanging out, plus you feel all swoony about them, you could have a committed type deal. If you meet someone and have all of those plus you think you can be roommates together, you move in together, and so forth. If you meet someone you just like hanging out with, then you just have a friend thing. If you meet someone you can't stand in anyway, you don't see them again. With any guy I meet online, I usually assume that any of those things could happen, or they could all happen over time, so I assume that would translate to meeting people in "real life." Also they all are pretty good outcomes so who am I reject any of them? You might never meet someone you want to devote your entire life to and vice versa, so why not enjoy whatever comes along?
i met the mr. dream the old-fashioned way at a party, tho knew him for years before.
Would you believe that I have never gone to any sort of party or social event where there were datable men? I went to a wedding once and was seated at the "singles" table next to some guy I totally hit it off with. Asked the bride about him later, and he had a girlfriend who just couldn't come to the wedding. Then it all made sense- guys who have girlfriends are always easy to talk to!
i think it helps to know what you want, then you know how to look for it, seek it...or let it find you too.
I don't really believe that you can want a certain kind of relationship. Well no, I guess you could "want" one, but I think the relationships you have is dictated by the people you meet. For example, if you meet someone you have sexual chemistry with, but don't want to hang out with all the time, then you simply have a hook up thing with them. If you meet someone you have sexual chemistry with, plus you like hanging out, plus you feel all swoony about them, you could have a committed type deal. If you meet someone and have all of those plus you think you can be roommates together, you move in together, and so forth. If you meet someone you just like hanging out with, then you just have a friend thing. If you meet someone you can't stand in anyway, you don't see them again. With any guy I meet online, I usually assume that any of those things could happen, or they could all happen over time, so I assume that would translate to meeting people in "real life." Also they all are pretty good outcomes so who am I reject any of them? You might never meet someone you want to devote your entire life to and vice versa, so why not enjoy whatever comes along?
i met the mr. dream the old-fashioned way at a party, tho knew him for years before.
Would you believe that I have never gone to any sort of party or social event where there were datable men? I went to a wedding once and was seated at the "singles" table next to some guy I totally hit it off with. Asked the bride about him later, and he had a girlfriend who just couldn't come to the wedding. Then it all made sense- guys who have girlfriends are always easy to talk to!
and...i think you know what you want, and when you find it, you know it...and then you have it.
i also tend not to overthink relationships. i meet someone, i like them, or not....a relationship develops, or not.....and if i know what i want...i continue with that person, or someone new....until i find what i want. and then i marry him. and i did. b/c finding a mate, and yes - being married, was something i wanted. i can overthink a LOT of things, and i still do...even within relationships. however, i tend not to overthink relationships that don't even exist yet.
and yes, i actually can 100% believe that is your real-life personal experience.
No need for me to smoke...my mind already works in absurd ways!
i just ate...tho cherries await. yummmm.
and i knew i liked ya!
keeping on topic, you met the soon-to-be mrs. joex3 online or organically?
i met the mr. dream the old-fashioned way at a party, tho knew him for years before.
We met organically........we were at the same world cup gathering in 2006 (but as she loves to remind me, I was very unfriendly..it was too early in the morning to be jovial!). I then said hello to her at a few of the 06 PJ shows (she has a 5-digit member number very close to mine!), and a few months later, I saw her at a Pogues show, and turned on the charm! The Pogues have a duet song (Fairytale of NY), and one of the lines is "You're an old slut on junk"...I sang that to her, and the rest is history!
On out first date, she mentioned that she worked at juvenile hall when she was a medical intern. Being the wiseguy that I am, I asked her what year she worked there, and replied that I was out by then. We had a great first date, but she did email me the next day to make sure that I was only kidding about being in Juvie!
No need for me to smoke...my mind already works in absurd ways!
i just ate...tho cherries await. yummmm.
and i knew i liked ya!
keeping on topic, you met the soon-to-be mrs. joex3 online or organically?
i met the mr. dream the old-fashioned way at a party, tho knew him for years before.
We met organically........we were at the same world cup gathering in 2006 (but as she loves to remind me, I was very unfriendly..it was too early in the morning to be jovial!). I then said hello to her at a few of the 06 PJ shows (she has a 5-digit member number very close to mine!), and a few months later, I saw her at a Pogues show, and turned on the charm! The Pogues have a duet song (Fairytale of NY), and one of the lines is "You're an old slut on junk"...I sang that to her, and the rest is history!
On out first date, she mentioned that she worked at juvenile hall when she was a medical intern. Being the wiseguy that I am, I asked her what year she worked there, and replied that I was out by then. We had a great first date, but she did email me the next day to make sure that I was only kidding about being in Juvie!
that's an AWESOME story!
i love "how we met" stories.
i "met" my husband years before we ever dated. we had mutual friends, but were always dating others. ends up he had a crush on me for years. :oops: then, finally.....one time when we both were single, we were at a backyard party of a mutual friend, and then....it happened. *real* conversation between us, really for the first time...and bam! sparks! chemistry! laughs! got some! the rest as they say...is history....
my oldest sister met her first husband organically thru friends...second husband thru newspaper personals....current BF thru online dating. my middle sister dated and dated and dated....all organic meets....and one day, at 38, met a guy casually at a bar while all were watching a game. they got married a year later. you can meet the love of your life ANYwhere.....it's amazing.......
[He only lets the ladies toss their panties on stage.[/quote]
Funny, that's how I got a back stage pass...[/quote]
When I was in school, I reviewed concerts for a paper called the Village View (later bought-out by the Reader which was bought out by the LA Weekly, I think!)
The very first show I reviewed was Barry Manilow. My review was a bit cheeky and mean, so the paper received some angry letters to the editor. Did they really expect a 20 year old punk kid to write a serious review of Barry??
We met organically........we were at the same world cup gathering in 2006 (but as she loves to remind me, I was very unfriendly..it was too early in the morning to be jovial!). I then said hello to her at a few of the 06 PJ shows (she has a 5-digit member number very close to mine!), and a few months later, I saw her at a Pogues show, and turned on the charm! The Pogues have a duet song (Fairytale of NY), and one of the lines is "You're an old slut on junk"...I sang that to her, and the rest is history!
Wow that is crazy that you kept seeing the same person at all those different events. Does anyone else think that's incredible? What are the chances you see someone at world cup party, then at multiple PJ shows, then a pogues show?
We met organically........we were at the same world cup gathering in 2006 (but as she loves to remind me, I was very unfriendly..it was too early in the morning to be jovial!). I then said hello to her at a few of the 06 PJ shows (she has a 5-digit member number very close to mine!), and a few months later, I saw her at a Pogues show, and turned on the charm! The Pogues have a duet song (Fairytale of NY), and one of the lines is "You're an old slut on junk"...I sang that to her, and the rest is history!
Wow that is crazy that you kept seeing the same person at all those different events. Does anyone else think that's incredible? What are the chances you see someone at world cup party, then at multiple PJ shows, then a pogues show?
Well, the world cup party was organized by someone on the local music scene, so it made sense that both of us were there.
Being part of a "scene" allows you to slowly but surely get to know where someone lives, when they get home at night, etc.
Comments
wow that's pretty good. I've met very few people who would be comfortable in either or those positions- being the slower runner or the faster runner. I would be embarrassed to run with a guy who's faster than I am and it seems so few runners would be willing to run at a pace that's not a challenge for them just to talk to someone. I'd be afraid a good runner wouldn't like me anymore if he didn't think I was fit enough! I sometimes do casual rides with a cycling group, but I don't feel like I could meet guys doing something athletic-- I feel like they're always judging me on my fitness level (whether it's lower than there's or not). I guess it comes from years of online dating and reading over and over again requests for women who are not "fit" not to write to them. And I'm fit, I just go in phases of being in awesome shape and being in decent shape and I usually feel like the latter wouldn't be good enough for a guy! That's really impressive that you didn't feel intimidated- I would have been really nervous about screwing up and looking like a slacker!
Try and weigh the cost/benefit of approaching someone:
Downside - they aren't interested, so your pride/feelings may get hurt, but you will recover.
Upside - you may find eternal, or perhaps, temporary love and happiness.
Wish you were here...
♥~RIP Dad
I guess when you already have those things there's less motivation.
Hopefully, when someone has those things, they don't need motivation to refrain!
if you're not interested, you move on...no excuses. if someone is flirty or not, if you're not into them...you just go about your business.
it's quite simple that.
i may be long out of the game, but i know a lot of single, or recently coupled folks....and i'd say it's a pretty 60/40 split nowadays on who met in real life and who met online. all viable options.
and love and happiness is an awesome thing, but if you are still looking for *something* perhaps you want to ADD to that love and happiness....some romantic love and happiness. if not, i guess just want to get laid? all good options there too. i think it helps to know what you want, then you know how to look for it, seek it...or let it find you too. being open to it is a big plus.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
You don't add BBQ sauce to a bad steak to make it taste better!
Hopefully when your meat is good, someone will come along and add their bbq sauce to make your meat even better!
Same goes for a good sundae.....hot fudge tastes much better on good quality ice cream!
Be the USDA Prime beef, and be the good ice cream.....once that is accomplished, the great sauces will just flow your way!
someone is hungry, eh?
please pass along what you're smokin' today joex3.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
Very hungry!
No need for me to smoke...my mind already works in absurd ways!
i just ate...tho cherries await. yummmm.
and i knew i liked ya!
keeping on topic, you met the soon-to-be mrs. joex3 online or organically?
i met the mr. dream the old-fashioned way at a party, tho knew him for years before.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
I don't really believe that you can want a certain kind of relationship. Well no, I guess you could "want" one, but I think the relationships you have is dictated by the people you meet. For example, if you meet someone you have sexual chemistry with, but don't want to hang out with all the time, then you simply have a hook up thing with them. If you meet someone you have sexual chemistry with, plus you like hanging out, plus you feel all swoony about them, you could have a committed type deal. If you meet someone and have all of those plus you think you can be roommates together, you move in together, and so forth. If you meet someone you just like hanging out with, then you just have a friend thing. If you meet someone you can't stand in anyway, you don't see them again. With any guy I meet online, I usually assume that any of those things could happen, or they could all happen over time, so I assume that would translate to meeting people in "real life." Also they all are pretty good outcomes so who am I reject any of them? You might never meet someone you want to devote your entire life to and vice versa, so why not enjoy whatever comes along?
Would you believe that I have never gone to any sort of party or social event where there were datable men? I went to a wedding once and was seated at the "singles" table next to some guy I totally hit it off with. Asked the bride about him later, and he had a girlfriend who just couldn't come to the wedding. Then it all made sense- guys who have girlfriends are always easy to talk to!
and...i think you know what you want, and when you find it, you know it...and then you have it.
i also tend not to overthink relationships. i meet someone, i like them, or not....a relationship develops, or not.....and if i know what i want...i continue with that person, or someone new....until i find what i want. and then i marry him. and i did. b/c finding a mate, and yes - being married, was something i wanted. i can overthink a LOT of things, and i still do...even within relationships. however, i tend not to overthink relationships that don't even exist yet.
and yes, i actually can 100% believe that is your real-life personal experience.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
We met organically........we were at the same world cup gathering in 2006 (but as she loves to remind me, I was very unfriendly..it was too early in the morning to be jovial!). I then said hello to her at a few of the 06 PJ shows (she has a 5-digit member number very close to mine!), and a few months later, I saw her at a Pogues show, and turned on the charm! The Pogues have a duet song (Fairytale of NY), and one of the lines is "You're an old slut on junk"...I sang that to her, and the rest is history!
On out first date, she mentioned that she worked at juvenile hall when she was a medical intern. Being the wiseguy that I am, I asked her what year she worked there, and replied that I was out by then. We had a great first date, but she did email me the next day to make sure that I was only kidding about being in Juvie!
and you told her the truth, right? cuz a relationship built on lies will never last
My memory is a bit hazy, but I probably told her that the only crime I will commit will be stealing her heart!
that's an AWESOME story!
i love "how we met" stories.
i "met" my husband years before we ever dated. we had mutual friends, but were always dating others. ends up he had a crush on me for years. :oops: then, finally.....one time when we both were single, we were at a backyard party of a mutual friend, and then....it happened. *real* conversation between us, really for the first time...and bam! sparks! chemistry! laughs! got some!
my oldest sister met her first husband organically thru friends...second husband thru newspaper personals....current BF thru online dating. my middle sister dated and dated and dated....all organic meets....and one day, at 38, met a guy casually at a bar while all were watching a game. they got married a year later. you can meet the love of your life ANYwhere.....it's amazing.......
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
for that set up, you're welcome
seriously!
tho honestly, i didn't get much past the 5digit 10c memberships in one household/couple...now that's just wrong!
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
Well, at least we both enter the marriage with low numbers, so neither of us need to be suspicious of the other "Marrying for a low number"
The Mrs. has a really low Fanilow #...
I am banned from all Manilow shows...long, but, true story!
He only lets the ladies toss their panties on stage.
hence the banning
ahhh...noted.
He only lets the ladies toss their panties on stage.[/quote]
hence the banning[/quote]
I tried tossing something else onstage, but being that I was in the 4th row, it only made it to the 2nd row.
Live and learn, I reckon!
Funny, that's how I got a back stage pass...[/quote]
When I was in school, I reviewed concerts for a paper called the Village View (later bought-out by the Reader which was bought out by the LA Weekly, I think!)
The very first show I reviewed was Barry Manilow. My review was a bit cheeky and mean, so the paper received some angry letters to the editor. Did they really expect a 20 year old punk kid to write a serious review of Barry??
Wow that is crazy that you kept seeing the same person at all those different events. Does anyone else think that's incredible? What are the chances you see someone at world cup party, then at multiple PJ shows, then a pogues show?
Well, the world cup party was organized by someone on the local music scene, so it made sense that both of us were there.
Being part of a "scene" allows you to slowly but surely get to know where someone lives, when they get home at night, etc.
Takes work!