Offline dating? Don't give up!
Lauri
Posts: 748
Noticing that the online dating thread is still active, and that most people posting in there aren't thrilled with online dating, I figured I'd ask:
Anyone have any luck lately with meeting people offline?
Where did you meet? What's your demographic (age, etc)? How did make a "move"?
Give all the online daters and people stuck at the office all day and hanging out with all married people on the weekends some ideas.
Anyone have any luck lately with meeting people offline?
Where did you meet? What's your demographic (age, etc)? How did make a "move"?
Give all the online daters and people stuck at the office all day and hanging out with all married people on the weekends some ideas.
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Dogs and babies..........thats all my friends have.......dogs and babies.
It's long, but worth it if you need some inspiration with online dating.
"The story I’m about to tell you is easily the only good thing Myspace has ever done for me personally. Yes, I had a Myspace account, I’m not proud of it…but I am proud of what it led to.
June 2006. I had recently graduated high school and much like every weekend at that time in my life I went to a raging party. The next morning, I got up and logged in and had a message from a very intriguing woman. Jennifer Holzner from Mountain Brook, Alabama, who had a profile picture of her sporting jet black hair, a black tank-top and once again black lace arm gloves standing in front of a purple wall decorated with items that indicated she was playing dress up at some costume store. This already mysterious beauty left me a little memento saying that she randomly found me because I looked cute in my picture…an asshole, but cute. “A cute asshole…grrreat” I thought.
Subsequently we had a similar taste in music which certainly helped spark her interest. She was 23, and I was 18 at the time. We started talking the rest of the day through messages back and forth about music, the party I went to, crazy experiences that we had in common, and overall interests, and by the end of the day I asked her if she had any easier form of communication, e.g. AIM, Yahoo Messenger, etc.
She gave me her AIM username and we began to talk quite frequently, sometimes through all hours of the night. We talked, and talked, and grew this connection and fondness for one another. I remember after a while it got to the point where we were that we missed one another once we got to talk to each other again after it had been a while. Eventually, things started to get really flirtatious and you could just sense that there was more of a "hey, we get along because we like the same things" relationship. We actually began developing feelings, but neither of us actually confided that in each other...I didn't want to scare her away, and I think at the time she didn't want to get involved in something that would be so unlikely to become reality. One night she got pretty sloshed at a party and called me because I had given her my number previously just in case she ever decided she'd like to actually "talk" to me. It was a great conversation, very relaxed and totally comfortable. It was flirty, exciting, and really made me feel that she had a common interest in me as I did her. I moved in with my sister in the fall of 2006, and Jen moved away to go to a 6-month schooling to better herself and get a better job. Needless to say, we lost contact for quite a bit and I thought that I had let something great slip away. After about 3 months of not hearing from one another, we began emailing each other again, because it was obvious that it wasn't as easy to instant message. I remember that we'd write each other VERY long emails that were sweet, funny, caring, and at sometimes venting to someone who we both knew cared. Instant messaging each other at this point wasn't as frequent, but we caught up one night and were able to do it. She was telling me about how her and her friend were thinking about going to an Incubus concert in Atlanta, Georgia. I told her that that was really cool and I had seen Incubus before and would love to see them again. She then said, "Well, if you're comfortable with it and you could get the money together and a ticket I'm sure you could join us."
In retrospect, and after talking to her about a few years later I learned that she just acted on impulse and later became very scared about the offer she extended. But I told her I was into the idea, and I was serious about it. I was working shit jobs at the time because I was 18 and inexperienced professionally, but I managed to get together $300 for the ticket to Alabama, and a ticket to the Incubus concert at the Tabernacle in Atlanta. She told me she would call me the night before I had to leave, and it began to get late and I still hadn't heard from her. I took a couple shots of whiskey to relax myself in preparation for what would be kind of a nervous phone call. She finally called me, and it was kind of awkward...I think we could both tell that we were both nervous...but I told her my flight number, the times and she said she would be there.
I arrived in Alabama, and went to get my luggage. Found it, and stood there waiting until I saw this absolutely beautiful, and short girl with long, dark red, almost maroon hair walking up to me. We hugged, and I looked into her eyes and I was literally almost floored. They were so beautiful. Big, green, and had a very deep look to them...I immediately couldn't help but admit to myself that I had been love-struck. She had come with her friend and brother to probably help break the ice, which I fully understood. We got in the car and dropped her brother off and then Jennifer, her friend, and I drove to Georgia that night. This was the first time I ever had been to the South, so now...it's a very sentimental place to me.
The night of the concert: We checked into a room at a Holiday Inn in Atlanta, went to the liquor store and stocked up on booze and started drinking in the room. We then called a cab to take us to the show. I drank way too much Crown Royal and before we even got to the concert I already knew I was going to be too drunk to remember this the next day. Her friend had drunk even more than me, so we were in for some trouble. We got to the show and I began to feel a little sick and so did her friend, who actually began to black out. So there we are, all drunk and Jennifer is left to take care of her best friend and some ass-hat who she has just met. I got drunk and totally confessed my love to her. She took us back to the hotel room and took care of both of us and she allowed me to sleep in the same bed with her. We didn’t do what many of you would like to hear, but we did share each other’s comfort and the next morning we began to share our feelings for each other. Later, when we left the hotel she began to get confused and told me that she didn’t know what was going on. I got discouraged, but I wasn’t going to let it ruin this great trip I was having meeting a wonderful person who I still wanted as a friend if she didn’t want anything more.
The rest of my stay was something I'll never forget. We had a great week together, spending intimate time really getting to know one other and doing fun things together in the city. Jennifer opened my eyes to the greasy glory that is Waffle House. We began to really get close and soon she couldn’t deny what she felt and she told me this. By the end of my stay we could comfortably say “I love you” and mean it. As we were saying goodbye at the airport, I told her I wanted to sometime soon live with her.
In May 2007, when I was 18 and pretty much had nothing to lose I made the decision to move out to Georgia to be with her. When I moved out there things weren’t as easy as I thought they would be, and we soon realized that we had a lot to learn about one another and we were about to dive right in to that and spend each day together. I had to work two shit jobs because of my inexperience, and we struggled to pay our bills in our first apartment together, but I think I speak for both of us when I say that even though we may have had some of the toughest times, we also had some of the most memorable and most important times that contributed to the strong relationship we still have today. We eventually couldn’t afford our apartment anymore and had to move into the basement of her friend’s parent’s house. But by the time November came I decided to head back to Utah. I was home sick, I wanted to start school, and I felt like it was a necessary step to take for us to get a better life together. I insisted that we stay together, and we began a long distance relationship over the phone. It was hard, and tested our strength and our devotion to each other, but we prevailed. I landed a very good job that helped us get to the point to where we could once again reunite. The long distance relationship lasted not even a full year and Jennifer made the decision to move to Utah in October 2008. We stayed with some of my family, saved up money, Jennifer got herself a good job and we then were able to get our own place in July 2009 where we still reside and we’re as happy as we have ever wanted to be."
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
Thanks, I honestly feel we were meant for each other. I've never been more comfortable and happy with anyone...ever.
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
i met my lady on ferry in belize ... i was traveling with a friend, she was alone ... she latched on and fell for me right away and i couldn't shake her ... well, that's my side of it at least ...
in fact I believe the early stages of their relationship were spent there.
But it works. Last I saw him he was happy and moving away to get married.
Hmmm...for some reason last night I though I read "Online dating? Don't give up!"
My bad everyone. :oops:
I blame the PBR.
Again, sorry for misinterpreting the title thread and taking up so much space with that post. :geek:
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
I never had much luck meeting eligible boys when I was younger, but it seems even harder when you have no one to go out with. Even if I can get my friends to go out, guys aren't going to approach a group of girls who are 90% wearing huge diamond rings on the left hand! those things are like man repellent! I don't really have any babies to deal with yet, but the dogs are getting to be demanding!
Life is all too funny sometimes.... they way things happen and unfold infront of us.
Great for the both of you for letting your guard down enough to be open to doing what was needed to make it all work and to be happy- compromise!
Good luck to the both of you! Very nice and hopeful read. Thanks for sharing!
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6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
you should've told the one you know to leave you alone and not scare off the cute stranger....
or, you could've just approached him? :?
I know you didn't say this yourself, but in the past I've had women tell me that they don't approach men because that's what men are supposed to do, just my personal opinion, that is fucking stupid.
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
what did he say to you? I could pass attractive men all day and not know what to say to them!
nah, that's not it. I'm just shy and don't know what to say. Plus, I've kind of gotten to the point that like, why do I always have to make a move? Like there's a guy at my gym who is always smiling at me, and my friends are like, "you should go talk to him" and but it's like he's the one who likes me, I'm not particularly interested at this point, so why should I have to go through all the trouble.
i'm very confused :?
What if he's just as shy as you are? Eventually someone's gotta make a move...but if you're not interested enough then you probably won't do it...
What's the worst someone could say? "No thanks."...if they get anymore rude than that, well then you're definitely not missing out.
Don't let a good opportunity slip by you because your shy -- be aggressive, it'll pay off.
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
I just have no idea what to say to some stranger that's just sitting there minding his own business. I mean I have no trouble talking to strangers if I actually have something to say to them (as opposed to just wanting to meet them because they appear to be an attractive man). Like I always give people random compliments or comment on their dog or their cute kid, or share an exasperated head shake when public transportation is not functioning properly...but I don't have an agenda in those situations. I just genuinely like that woman's shoes or love german sherpherds...
Try approaching it as though you're not meeting one another for attractive interest.
A simple "hi" with a smile and introducing yourself is a good start. Trust me, if he is smiling at you continuously and hasn't approached you, I'm sure he is too shy. You instigating it would probably make both of you happy...
I have always liked when a girl would call me out on something, in a humourous way:
"I've seen you smile at me and have wondering what has been taking you so long to come say hi..."
That's a nice invitation to a friendly conversation...with not too much pressure, but I think it obviously gets the point across that you were noticing and liking him smiling at you...
Sometimes you have to be honest and up front. Like I said, what's the worst that can happen? He'd express that he wasn't too interested, but 98% of the time he'll be very kind and friendly about it, and hey...if anything, at least you met a new, pleasant person to casual say hi to at the gym.
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
I'll see you when the restraining order expires.
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
oooohhhh I wasn't talking about the gym guy, I was talking about random people you just see once, like the subway guy...I don't really care about talking to the gym guy. I don't really find him particularly attractive. Now I'm not saying I wouldn't like him if I met him, and he's not hideous looking or anything, but there's nothing on the exterior that prompts me to say anything to him, which is why i think he should make the effort if he does see something about me...but that's not really my point. Anyway, I think it's easier to say something to someone that you see regularly in some context.
It also seems a little weird to me to "approach like it's not an attraction interest" because I (and presumably most people) don't go around just introducing themselves to everyone in the gym or on the subway or whatever. I think if you randomly go up to someone and say, "hi, I'm Lauri," they pretty much know what's up.
me too - I am very shy but since he approached me and gave me his number I at least knew he was interested
it was a very short conversation/meeting..he just asked if I ran/walked out there much and said to call him if I ever wanted any company out there....we actually passed each other a few times after that before I had called him - a little awkward...then when we saw each other at the race he said he'd still like to join me sometime...I figured what the hell and I called him about a week later
Yeah that's the thing with me, I intend to assume they wouldn't be interested. That's why online dating always seemed easy, because everyone knows everyone's agenda, there's an easy signal- if they write back you know they at least think you're cute, etc.
Did he stop you while you were running? Haha I'm just picturing you running one way and him running the other and yelling at you, "hey! run here often! call me!"
oh and when you called him, did you actually suggest running together or did you go on a regular date? see in that situation (and I am interested in this because this would be a common situation for me) I wouldn't know what to do because I hate running with other people, and I wouldn't want trying to impress a guy to impede my run...
we weren't running in opposite directions - that would have been funny!
I was further ahead of him and he came up next to me
when I called him I suggested we go out running because I still had some doubt about whether or not he really was interested so I figured that would be an easy "date" and I didn't worry about impressing him because I already knew he was WAY faster/better than me...the conversation when we were running/walking went really well and then he asked me to meet him for dinner afterwards...by then I was more comfortable/relaxed because I knew for sure that he was interested