who's got the best sence of humor in the forum?

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  • dimitrispearljamdimitrispearljam Posts: 139,549
    So this guy walks into a bar...
    so a woman go to a doctor..say..
    doctor i have big big problem with sex..im really sick..
    what happen the doctor said..
    look doc..i want sex all day!!!!i have sex with my man when he comes from work,after lunch,before dinner,after dinner,before sleep.i woke him up at the middle of the night and ask for sex
    and the doctor say,,its all ok,u like sex,,its normal..
    no doc its not ok,,after he leaves to work i have sex with the mailman ,postman,some friends..i want it all day!!!
    ok,,so really this is a problem ,doc said..you are sick !!
    Great the woman said!!!!!Please doc can you write this down in a paper ,cos my hasband think im a whore!!!
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
  • theoceansmademetheoceansmademe Posts: 1,132
    This was not the funniest post ever written on here. The fact it was thought of as funny is sort of funny but not really. It appears I've been wasting my time if this is believed to be funny.

    I wrote my father's obituary when I was 17 and that was funnier than this.

    True story.
    My vote is Ledbetterman10.

    This is by far the funniest thing I have EVER read on this BOARD:

    And here's another Boom theory I have: I think Stone HATES him. Really, put yourself in the room....beginning of the Riot Act sessions:

    Stone: Hey Ed, how was your vacation?

    Ed: Oh great man....great.

    Stone: Cool, yeah so I got some riffs, been going over a few things with Mike.......um.......yeah.....who's that crazy looking guy in the corner?

    Ed: That corner? Oh that's Boom

    Stone: Boom?

    Ed: Yeah Boom. I met him while I was surfing. He grows his own weed. He's cool man...he's going to play keys on the album.

    Stone: What?

    Ed: Yeah. Look I gotta go take a leak but I'll see ya in there. Go introduce yourself to Boom.....he's cool man.

    Stone: What? (Eddie exits, Stone walks up to Boom)

    Stone: Hey man, I'm Stone....I play guitar....and founded the band and.....

    Boom: ALOHA MAN!!! Where's the wine? Eddie said you guys always have lots of wine!

    Stone: Oh brother....

    you are at least the 2nd person to state this isn't funny.

    please do me a favor and find a post that tops this one.

    it's genius and I don't think this is to far off the mark from the actual truth.

    topping matters off the but boom right behind Stone on the stage. poor Stone.
  • HammerdonkeyHammerdonkey Posts: 550
    Dear theoceansmademe,

    No offense to you, LB10, or either of your exquisite tastes for humor, but that post may have caught you off guard and you might have found the imagery funny. It's like music. If one guy likes Radiohead and he's arguing with a guy who thinks they suck, after the argument neither guy will change their mind. So, if you think it's funny, I can't change your mind. I read it. I appreciated what he was trying to do for entertainment, it just didn't resonate with me like it did for you. Then again, I'm a disgusting person. If somebody said "your momma has 5 titties and 3 dicks", that would be funnier than the diatribe you quoted....to me anyway.

    Take care,

    A Donkey In Your Ocean
  • eyedclaareyedclaar Posts: 6,980
    Dear theoceansmademe,

    No offense to you, LB10, or either of your exquisite tastes for humor, but that post may have caught you off guard and you might have found the imagery funny. It's like music. If one guy likes Radiohead and he's arguing with a guy who thinks they suck, after the argument neither guy will change their mind. So, if you think it's funny, I can't change your mind. I read it. I appreciated what he was trying to do for entertainment, it just didn't resonate with me like it did for you. Then again, I'm a disgusting person. If somebody said "your momma has 5 titties and 3 dicks", that would be funnier than the diatribe you quoted....to me anyway.

    Take care,

    A Donkey In Your Ocean

    Ocean, the last 5 words of Hammer's post here is funnier than the piece you quoted. Just sayin'.
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  • CJMST3KCJMST3K Posts: 9,722
    mfc2006 wrote:
    man...there are too many to name. Norm & Speedy are up there...as is Fenway...Ms Wes C is pretty fucking witty.

    but the Hoff has the freakiest avatars....fucking Hoff. ha!

    what's funniest to me is when someone can't take a joke & it derails the thread & starts a pointless argument...then someone posts that picture of Michael Jackson eating popcorn from the thriller video. that cracks me up every time. it's funny to see people overreact to the silliest things like the "best album opener"....good shit.

    ok...now i've contributed to this thread. i feel good about that. :D



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  • DissidentmanDissidentman Posts: 15,378
    eyedclaar wrote:
    Dear theoceansmademe,

    No offense to you, LB10, or either of your exquisite tastes for humor, but that post may have caught you off guard and you might have found the imagery funny. It's like music. If one guy likes Radiohead and he's arguing with a guy who thinks they suck, after the argument neither guy will change their mind. So, if you think it's funny, I can't change your mind. I read it. I appreciated what he was trying to do for entertainment, it just didn't resonate with me like it did for you. Then again, I'm a disgusting person. If somebody said "your momma has 5 titties and 3 dicks", that would be funnier than the diatribe you quoted....to me anyway.

    Take care,

    A Donkey In Your Ocean

    Ocean, the last 5 words of Hammer's post here is funnier than the piece you quoted. Just sayin'.

    see...donkeys don't belong in the ocean...that's what makes it funny.
  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    This is by far the funniest thing I have EVER read on this BOARD:

    And here's another Boom theory I have: I think Stone HATES him. Really, put yourself in the room....beginning of the Riot Act sessions:

    Stone: Hey Ed, how was your vacation?

    Ed: Oh great man....great.

    Stone: Cool, yeah so I got some riffs, been going over a few things with Mike.......um.......yeah.....who's that crazy looking guy in the corner?

    Ed: That corner? Oh that's Boom

    Stone: Boom?

    Ed: Yeah Boom. I met him while I was surfing. He grows his own weed. He's cool man...he's going to play keys on the album.

    Stone: What?

    Ed: Yeah. Look I gotta go take a leak but I'll see ya in there. Go introduce yourself to Boom.....he's cool man.

    Stone: What? (Eddie exits, Stone walks up to Boom)

    Stone: Hey man, I'm Stone....I play guitar....and founded the band and.....

    Boom: ALOHA MAN!!! Where's the wine? Eddie said you guys always have lots of wine!

    Stone: Oh brother....

    you are at least the 2nd person to state this isn't funny.

    please do me a favor and find a post that tops this one.

    it's genius and I don't think this is to far off the mark from the actual truth.

    topping matters off the but boom right behind Stone on the stage. poor Stone.

    1. it's not genius.
    2. find a post? seriously?
    3. Where is the fucking punchline? where is the actual joke?

    I'm not sure LB10 would want you parading that post around as the funniest thing ever written on this board... do you even leave the Porch? It's an anecdote about some members of Pearl Jam...
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • PoncierPoncier Posts: 16,680
    eyedclaar wrote:
    Dear theoceansmademe,

    No offense to you, LB10, or either of your exquisite tastes for humor, but that post may have caught you off guard and you might have found the imagery funny. It's like music. If one guy likes Radiohead and he's arguing with a guy who thinks they suck, after the argument neither guy will change their mind. So, if you think it's funny, I can't change your mind. I read it. I appreciated what he was trying to do for entertainment, it just didn't resonate with me like it did for you. Then again, I'm a disgusting person. If somebody said "your momma has 5 titties and 3 dicks", that would be funnier than the diatribe you quoted....to me anyway.

    Take care,

    A Donkey In Your Ocean

    Ocean, the last 5 words of Hammer's post here is funnier than the piece you quoted. Just sayin'.

    see...donkeys don't belong in the ocean...that's what makes it funny.
    funny-donkey-in-boat.jpg
    This weekend we rock Portland
  • DissidentmanDissidentman Posts: 15,378
    Poncier wrote:
    eyedclaar wrote:


    Ocean, the last 5 words of Hammer's post here is funnier than the piece you quoted. Just sayin'.

    see...donkeys don't belong in the ocean...that's what makes it funny.
    funny-donkey-in-boat.jpg

    There's an ass in your dinghy, friend...
  • PoncierPoncier Posts: 16,680

    There's an ass in your dinghy, friend...
    Better than a dinghy in my ass.
    This weekend we rock Portland
  • DissidentmanDissidentman Posts: 15,378
    Poncier wrote:

    There's an ass in your dinghy, friend...
    Better than a dinghy in my ass.

    You can say that again!

    :lol:
  • DangDangDangDang Posts: 1,551
    This was not the funniest post ever written on here. The fact it was thought of as funny is sort of funny but not really. It appears I've been wasting my time if this is believed to be funny.

    I wrote my father's obituary when I was 17 and that was funnier than this.

    True story.
    My vote is Ledbetterman10.

    This is by far the funniest thing I have EVER read on this BOARD:

    And here's another Boom theory I have: I think Stone HATES him. Really, put yourself in the room....beginning of the Riot Act sessions:

    Stone: Hey Ed,blah blah blah guys always have lots of wine!

    Stone: Oh brother....

    you are at least the 2nd person to state this isn't funny.

    please do me a favor and find a post that tops this one.

    it's genius and I don't think this is to far off the mark from the actual truth.

    topping matters off the but boom right behind Stone on the stage. poor Stone.

    This is a funnier post: It answers the question, "What's in your purse?"

    pads
    rubbers
    landing gear
    medicine
    zippers
    Rolaids
    Courderoy
    weed killer
    slippers
    a Bendy Wendy
    forklift key
    Pepperidge Farms coupon
    jolly roger mask
    humble beginnings
  • CJMST3KCJMST3K Posts: 9,722
    DangDang wrote:

    CJMTKHOFF335


    I'm nominating DangDang for completely butchering my username, yet making it understandable still. :lol:
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  • nuffingmannuffingman Posts: 3,014
    After seeing Speedy's comment about Serena William's butt cheeks he is the man.
  • dimitrispearljamdimitrispearljam Posts: 139,549
    nuffingman wrote:
    After seeing Speedy's comment about Serena William's butt cheeks he is the man.
    true :lol::lol::lol::lol:
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
  • CJMST3KCJMST3K Posts: 9,722
    Feck... i forgot cdp1223.

    :)
    ADD 5,200 to the post count you see, thank you. :)
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  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    nuffingman wrote:
    After seeing Speedy's comment about Serena William's butt cheeks he is the man.

    but dissidentman's comment was hilarious.... its all opinion i suppose... but then opinions are like orgasms, i don't care if you have one and my own is more important.
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • DissidentmanDissidentman Posts: 15,378
    dunkman wrote:
    nuffingman wrote:
    After seeing Speedy's comment about Serena William's butt cheeks he is the man.

    but dissidentman's comment was hilarious.... its all opinion i suppose... but then opinions are like orgasms, i don't care if you have one and my own is more important.

    My statements are all grounded in science.
  • Dunk gets my vote... clever and funny... a winning combination :thumbup:
    Been to this many PJ shows: Reading 2006 London 2007 Manchester & London 2009 Dublin, Belfast, London, Nijmegen & Berlin 2010 Manchester 1 & Manchester 2 2012...

    ... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
  • DissidentmanDissidentman Posts: 15,378
    dunkman wrote:

    but dissidentman's comment was hilarious.... its all opinion i suppose... but then opinions are like orgasms, i don't care if you have one and my own is more important.

    Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not interested in you that way.
  • dunkman wrote:

    but dissidentman's comment was hilarious.... its all opinion i suppose... but then opinions are like orgasms, i don't care if you have one and my own is more important.

    Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not interested in you that way.

    both of you are board whores i'd have to boil before even shaking hands! ;):mrgreen:

    what up Diss?! :lol:
  • DissidentmanDissidentman Posts: 15,378
    dunkman wrote:

    but dissidentman's comment was hilarious.... its all opinion i suppose... but then opinions are like orgasms, i don't care if you have one and my own is more important.

    Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not interested in you that way.

    both of you are board whores i'd have to boil before even shaking hands! ;):mrgreen:

    what up Diss?! :lol:


    Sup bud!

    BTW, I am better sauteed in butter.
  • Black DiamondBlack Diamond Posts: 25,107


    Sup bud!

    BTW, I am better sauteed in butter.
    Between this and visualizing Serena Williams Butt Cheeks, I am skipping lunch :sick:
    GoiMTvP.gif
  • dimitrispearljamdimitrispearljam Posts: 139,549


    Sup bud!

    BTW, I am better sauteed in butter.
    Between this and visualizing Serena Williams Butt Cheeks, I am skipping lunch :sick:
    :lol::lol::lol::lol:
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
  • DissidentmanDissidentman Posts: 15,378


    Sup bud!

    BTW, I am better sauteed in butter.
    Between this and visualizing Serena Williams Butt Cheeks, I am skipping lunch :sick:

    Tennis isn't for everyone.
  • Black DiamondBlack Diamond Posts: 25,107


    Sup bud!

    BTW, I am better sauteed in butter.
    Between this and visualizing Serena Williams Butt Cheeks, I am skipping lunch :sick:

    Tennis isn't for everyone.
    Neither is sauteed Dissidentman...
    GoiMTvP.gif
  • DissidentmanDissidentman Posts: 15,378

    Between this and visualizing Serena Williams Butt Cheeks, I am skipping lunch :sick:

    Tennis isn't for everyone.
    Neither is sauteed Dissidentman...

    ...a dish best served cold.
  • Gary CarterGary Carter Posts: 14,067
    SPEEDY
    Xman

    Old board
    00J
    strat
    kevin beetle
    Flatside of a dog
    Ron: I just don't feel like going out tonight
    Sammi: Wanna just break up?

  • metsfan wrote:
    Old board
    00J
    strat
    kevin beetle
    Flatside of a dog

    Those 4 didn't have a humorous bone in their body.
    Now old board - he was hilarious.
  • Gary CarterGary Carter Posts: 14,067
    metsfan wrote:
    Old board
    00J
    strat
    kevin beetle
    Flatside of a dog

    Those 4 didn't have a humorous bone in their body.
    Now old board - he was hilarious.
    says the board member who joined may 17th 2010

    Those 4 were a hell of a lot funnier then anyone on here


    Btw-which old board member were you
    Ron: I just don't feel like going out tonight
    Sammi: Wanna just break up?

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