Love and Pearl Jam fans

Whizbang

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

honestly helen, the coolest, best-looking people I know are generally the "permanently" single among us. I think because a lot of really high-quality people are just not willing to settle, and are comfortable with themselves and comfortable with being on their own.

For me, I've dated some good guys but none that I could see myself spending my life with at all. But I know a lot of people who, in the same situation, would marry that person...perhaps, because they think marriage is very important in and of itself. I think a lot of people who feel that way may not be comfortable being independent. honestly I think I value marriage more than a lot of people I know who ARE married, because I think you should only get married if the two of you absolutely blow each other out of the water in every way.

I'm kind of speechless on this post....in a good way!

Seriously, if you're not comfortable with yourself or being on your own, you'll never be truly happy married to someone. There will always be that "something" that just isn't right about the other person when in reality it's your own insecurities.

harmless_little_f***

Whizbang wrote:

I'm kind of speechless on this post....in a good way!

Seriously, if you're not comfortable with yourself or being on your own, you'll never be truly happy married to someone. There will always be that "something" that just isn't right about the other person when in reality it's your own insecurities.

But I think the opposite is also true. My soon-to-be-ex wife was always very vocal about the fact that she was independent, confident and used to being on her own, loved me but didn't 'need' to be with me to be happy, etc. etc. She would regularly rub my face in the fact that she was OK on her own, which eventually meant that she'd never wanted to be married in the first place. There was nothing right about me because she loved her independence too much.

Heineken Helen

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

honestly helen, the coolest, best-looking people I know are generally the "permanently" single among us. I think because a lot of really high-quality people are just not willing to settle, and are comfortable with themselves and comfortable with being on their own.

For me, I've dated some good guys but none that I could see myself spending my life with at all. But I know a lot of people who, in the same situation, would marry that person...perhaps, because they think marriage is very important in and of itself. I think a lot of people who feel that way may not be comfortable being independent. honestly I think I value marriage more than a lot of people I know who ARE married, because I think you should only get married if the two of you absolutely blow each other out of the water in every way.

Good post and I think I agree.

soulsinging

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

Do others appearances matter to you?

yes, they do. no relationship without sexual attraction.

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

do you believe in love at first sight?

no. it's called lust.

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

can you love someone you've never met?

i suppose so, though i'm skeptical. at some point, you have to meet. i can't imagine, for instance, a wedding where the bride and groom are not present becos they're on the computers. i think maybe you can fall for someone without meeting them, but eventually you've got to meet them in real life to sustain anything realistically.

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

do you believe in soul mates? etc

no. nor does true love conquer all.

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

Also, how have Pearl Jam helped your (for want of a better word) love life?

they've not had anything to do with my love life.

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

Do you associate songs to people?

not really.

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

Did a song start or end a relationship?

no.

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

Have you found love through Pearl Jam either at a gig or through mutual love of the band?

i've dated one or two girls i met here. didn't find love. i fucked them over pretty good though.

Steve Dunne

Pearl Jam fans are more passionate about the band, and have a general 'love' for each other....in a corny yet real way.

Finding love because of a band is rare. Yet there is evidence in the pit that shows that PJ brought people together.

My wife is not a big fan. I don't know why I ever married her.

harmless_little_f***

Steve Dunne wrote:

My wife is not a big fan. I don't know why I ever married her.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Heineken Helen

Steve Dunne wrote:

Pearl Jam fans are more passionate about the band, and have a general 'love' for each other....in a corny yet real way.

Finding love because of a band is rare. Yet there is evidence in the pit that shows that PJ brought people together.

My wife is not a big fan. I don't know why I ever married her.

i'm not sure I could marry someone who doesn't like them

thankfully I've never gone out with anyone who didn't like them so I can't imagine being in that situation. My last fella didn't know much about them but liked what he remembered.

norm

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

honestly helen, the coolest, best-looking people I know are generally the "permanently" single among us. I think because a lot of really high-quality people are just not willing to settle, and are comfortable with themselves and comfortable with being on their own.

For me, I've dated some good guys but none that I could see myself spending my life with at all. But I know a lot of people who, in the same situation, would marry that person...perhaps, because they think marriage is very important in and of itself. I think a lot of people who feel that way may not be comfortable being independent. honestly I think I value marriage more than a lot of people I know who ARE married, because I think you should only get married if the two of you absolutely blow each other out of the water in every way.

i love this place....there is always someone that can express my thoughts better than i can....well said and all true, gtd....:)

Steve Dunne

Heineken Helen wrote:

i'm not sure I could marry someone who doesn't like them

thankfully I've never gone out with anyone who didn't like them so I can't imagine being in that situation. My last fella didn't know much about them but liked what he remembered.

Oh I've gone to, let's see now, 5 shows without her. After about the 3rd show, I stopped asking if she wanted to go. Then in 2006 I refused to take her because she wasn't a true fan.

decides2dream

cutback wrote:

i love this place....there is always someone that can express my thoughts better than i can....well said and all true, gtd....:)

not always.



my attitude, thoughts, feelings about/for love...really have nothing to do with being a pearl jam fan. not at all. love is love. i found love, a few times over actually, before pearl jam even existed. the one love i still hold onto, again, became *love* before pearl jam. does pearl jam add to love? perhaps....simply b/c music adds so much to my LIFE, period. pearl jam has brought a LOT of people into my life whom i do love, so it's all good....and the love of my life is a fan too, but again, not what broguth us together nor what holds us together. love transcends even pearl jam ya know.

i believe anything is possible....b/c basically i believe life is what you make it. love is a choice, happiness is a choice.....keeping it al going, a difficult task, but still a choice. for me, one i find so personally gratifying it is worth it.

Heineken Helen

Steve Dunne wrote:

Oh I've gone to, let's see now, 5 shows without her. After about the 3rd show, I stopped asking if she wanted to go. Then in 2006 I refused to take her because she wasn't a true fan.

yep, now I wouldn't bring a friend if I knew a real fan wanted to go and couldn't get a ticket :eek: sounds terrible but there ya go.

audiodave

decides2dream wrote:

not always.



my attitude, thoughts, feelings about/for love...really have nothing to do with being a pearl jam fan. not at all. love is love. i found love, a few times over actually, before pearl jam even existed. the one love i still hold onto, again, became *love* before pearl jam. does pearl jam add to love? perhaps....simply b/c music adds so much to my LIFE, period. pearl jam has brought a LOT of people into my life whom i do love, so it's all good....and the love of my life is a fan too, but again, not what broguth us together nor what holds us together. love transcends even pearl jam ya know.

i believe anything is possible....b/c basically i believe life is what you make it. love is a choice, happiness is a choice.....keeping it al going, a difficult task, but still a choice. for me, one i find so personally gratifying it is worth it.

Agreed. My attitude towards love, and life in general, has nothing at all to do with Pearl Jam.

audiodave

Heineken Helen wrote:

yep, now I wouldn't bring a friend if I knew a real fan wanted to go and couldn't get a ticket :eek: sounds terrible but there ya go.

My housemate offered me a lot of money for a ticket to Wembley. I said no. He doesn't get the whole not selling a ticket for above face value thing, and it was already promised to a "real" fan.

Heineken Helen

audiodave wrote:

Agreed. My attitude towards love, and life in general, has nothing at all to do with Pearl Jam.

do you not think it's interconnected though? I mean music, life and love? So many of my thoughts are inspired by something as simple as a lyric in a song.

audiodave

Heineken Helen wrote:

do you not think it's interconnected though? I mean music, life and love? So many of my thoughts are inspired by something as simple as a lyric in a song.

Possibly. Music is a huge part of my life, and it affects my moods and emotions, but does it affect my outlook on something to major? I'm really not sure, but I don't think so.

I'm a pretty stubborn person. I think what I think and believe what I believe, and there isn't realy a whole lot that can change that. The only reason I would change something as major as my outlook on life\love is if my outlook was causing me to behave in a way that hurt someone else. If that's the case, then it's time for a re-evaluation on things.

Heineken Helen

audiodave wrote:

Possibly. Music is a huge part of my life, and it affects my moods and emotions, but does it affect my outlook on something to major? I'm really not sure, but I don't think so.

I'm a pretty stubborn person. I think what I think and believe what I believe, and there isn't realy a whole lot that can change that. The only reason I would change something as major as my outlook on life\love is if my outlook was causing me to behave in a way that hurt someone else. If that's the case, then it's time for a re-evaluation on things.

I dunno but I certainly think music has had a HUGE part in me figuring out who I really am and in making me comfortable and independent and everything else. If those traits don't affect how I approach relationships, well I dunno what does

Steve Dunne

Heineken Helen wrote:

do you not think it's interconnected though? I mean music, life and love? So many of my thoughts are inspired by something as simple as a lyric in a song.

Generally speaking, it's connected...I mean look at all the fuss regarding music in the wedding and reception. it definitely is inspiring.

GreenTeaDisease

Heineken Helen wrote:

I dunno but I certainly think music has had a HUGE part in me figuring out who I really am and in making me comfortable and independent and everything else. If those traits don't affect how I approach relationships, well I dunno what does

me too. I definitely wouldn't be the person I am if I hadn't been inspired by rock music, and in huge part, Pearl Jam.

urbanhippie

Music is a huge part of my life...but I'm not sure it should figure in any major life decisions.

For a start, I'm quite fickle when it comes to music. My feelings about it change according to my mood, etc. It could never do that towards people. When I make a commitment to someone...even a friend...it's permanent.

I think I could quite easily love someone who was not a PJ fan. It's about their attitude to life. If the important things are right then it should just fall into place. I'm not sure I could love someone who wasn't a music fan. It doesn't matter what they like, but it's important that someone understands how you feel about music, art etc.

If I find something beautiful...a song, a picture, a book....it's natural to want to share that beauty and I'd need someone who appreciated it

I agree with lust at first sight. I've felt it. But it's quite shallow and superficial, and fades as quickly as it happens. Usually as soon as you speak to the other person. I've never felt love at first sight, but I believe that connections that are built on over time are the strongest.

As for soulmates, I'd like to believe it was so. The one perfect person. But i doubt it, so I won't live my life looking in vain for something that may never happen. I'll wait and see if it finds me. Until then, I'll concentrate on the relationships and friendships that are already present in my life.

Sian-of-the-dead

See, music is a massive part of my life and certain songs have indeed changed my life. Nothingman ended my 6 year relationship with my last serious boyfriend. One day I listened to it when out on my own walking, the tears ran down my face and I realised that I was living the life in the song. I took the decision to end that relationship and now i've never been happier.

I agree with many of you, I believe in lust at first sight but not necessarily love. I think that love develops and blossoms over time through getting to know a person. I've lusted after many a man but they usually end up not being right for me.

I don't know if I could be with someone who doesn't like Pearl Jam, I tried it a few weeks ago! Don't get me wrong, the guy was lovely, we had so much in common but Pearl Jam was always a joke to him (he was a hardcore/hip hop fan... yes folks, Pearl Jam was a joke to HIM! go figure....lol), he'd take every opportunity to take the piss. It was funny and kinda cute to start with because we'd have a laugh but it would have never worked in the long run, it was grating on me after being with him for 7 weeks and something he said on our first date kept rattling round my head....

Guy: "I'd love to punch Eddie Vedder in the face hahaha!"
Me: "....... :eek:"
Guy: *pokes me in ribs* "only joking darlin" *winks* "he is a bit of prick though isn't he? always whining...."
Me: "........I need to powder my nose....." *grabs bag and leaves table*

I was sat in a Pearl Jam T-shirt with my Alive tattoo on show that evening. Needless to say, I wasn't a happy little camper for the remainder of said date.

Whoever I choose to be with doesn't have to be as big a fan as I am but appreciation or recognition of talent would definately help!

Looks make no odds to me. I used to have a 'type' of guy I would go for (yes, Mr hardcore/hip hop did fit this type.... *rolls eyes and shakes head at own predictability* fell into the trap once again Sian....) but i've realised recently that image doesn't count for shit. I don't care what anyone thinks about who I choose to be with, they could have 2 wooden legs, a twitchy eye and a hunch back for all I care, it's whats on the inside that counts and I would still parade them round my home town proudly.
I think it's true what they say, the way to a womans heart is through her mind. Make me laugh and stimulate my mind and i'm all yours, hunch back or not

I don't know about loving someone you've never met, I suppose it could happen if the people were right and both felt the same but I agree, they would have to meet eventually.



I wanna hear about Pearl Jam love stories dammit!! I wanna know if anyone HAS found the love of their life through mutual appreciation, gigs, forums etc...

Or if not Pearl Jam, any other music?

einatshaul

G - is a huge PJ fan and lover, took to the road and saw the entire 2006 Euro tour, that is where I met her.

When we were in Athens, the last show, YLB played, we looked at eachother, then at the band, and said: "Whe're going to Australia". We couldn't let it end there.

At the hostel I met this other fan who came from BC, and he gave me an email of his best friend - C., who's also planning on doing the whole Oz tour.
I started writing to him, making plans together, finding eachother spare 10c tickets. When I landed in Sydney I met up with him there and got to know him and hang out before the tour.

Then my friend G joined us, all the way from Germany. We became this group with other fanatics, touring the country in the footsteps of PJ and having a wild time.

And low, Today, G and C are married, and living in BC!

To me, this is the most amazing story of a chance meeting between two people who were worlds apart but were brought together by their love of PJ, and found other common grounds to join them together for long.

TransplantedNewf

einatshaul wrote:

To me, this is the most amazing story of a chance meeting between two people who were worlds apart but were brought together by their love of PJ, and found other common grounds to join them together for long.

Oh my...that makes me swoon. What a wonderful story

Sian-of-the-dead

einatshaul wrote:

G - is a huge PJ fan and lover, took to the road and saw the entire 2006 Euro tour, that is where I met her.

When we were in Athens, the last show, YLB played, we looked at eachother, then at the band, and said: "Whe're going to Australia". We couldn't let it end there.

At the hostel I met this other fan who came from BC, and he gave me an email of his best friend - C., who's also planning on doing the whole Oz tour.
I started writing to him, making plans together, finding eachother spare 10c tickets. When I landed in Sydney I met up with him there and got to know him and hang out before the tour.

Then my friend G joined us, all the way from Germany. We became this group with other fanatics, touring the country in the footsteps of PJ and having a wild time.

And low, Today, G and C are married, and living in BC!

To me, this is the most amazing story of a chance meeting between two people who were worlds apart but were brought together by their love of PJ, and found other common grounds to join them together for long.

Thats what i'm talking about!!!

thats ace

urbanhippie

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

Looks make no odds to me. I used to have a 'type' of guy I would go for (yes, Mr hardcore/hip hop did fit this type.... *rolls eyes and shakes head at own predictability* fell into the trap once again Sian....) but i've realised recently that image doesn't count for shit. I don't care what anyone thinks about who I choose to be with, they could have 2 wooden legs, a twitchy eye and a hunch back for all I care, it's whats on the inside that counts and I would still parade them round my home town proudly.
I think it's true what they say, the way to a womans heart is through her mind. Make me laugh and stimulate my mind and i'm all yours, hunch back or not

I don't know about loving someone you've never met, I suppose it could happen if the people were right and both felt the same but I agree, they would have to meet eventually.

You are so right about the looks thing!

It is the mind of someone that you fall in love with, and the soul. If that works there is no reason why you can't love their body too.

And the brain is the most important erogenous zone. I need someone who can make me think, make me laugh, expand my knowledge of the world. It's sexy as hell! And it's what builds on the connections between people.

As for loving someone you've never met, I think that you can fall in love with someone you haven't met. But, yes, you would have to meet eventually. Otherwise how can you do anything about it?

Heineken Helen

Steve Dunne wrote:

Generally speaking, it's connected...I mean look at all the fuss regarding music in the wedding and reception. it definitely is inspiring.

it really really is. Especially when you consider that I don't think I've loved anybody as much as I love Pearl Jam... PJ IS my relationship... and it's probably the best one I'll ever have

Heineken Helen

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

See, music is a massive part of my life and certain songs have indeed changed my life. Nothingman ended my 6 year relationship with my last serious boyfriend. One day I listened to it when out on my own walking, the tears ran down my face and I realised that I was living the life in the song. I took the decision to end that relationship and now i've never been happier.

I agree with many of you, I believe in lust at first sight but not necessarily love. I think that love develops and blossoms over time through getting to know a person. I've lusted after many a man but they usually end up not being right for me.

I don't know if I could be with someone who doesn't like Pearl Jam, I tried it a few weeks ago! Don't get me wrong, the guy was lovely, we had so much in common but Pearl Jam was always a joke to him (he was a hardcore/hip hop fan... yes folks, Pearl Jam was a joke to HIM! go figure....lol), he'd take every opportunity to take the piss. It was funny and kinda cute to start with because we'd have a laugh but it would have never worked in the long run, it was grating on me after being with him for 7 weeks and something he said on our first date kept rattling round my head....

Guy: "I'd love to punch Eddie Vedder in the face hahaha!"
Me: "....... :eek:"
Guy: *pokes me in ribs* "only joking darlin" *winks* "he is a bit of prick though isn't he? always whining...."
Me: "........I need to powder my nose....." *grabs bag and leaves table*

I was sat in a Pearl Jam T-shirt with my Alive tattoo on show that evening. Needless to say, I wasn't a happy little camper for the remainder of said date.

Whoever I choose to be with doesn't have to be as big a fan as I am but appreciation or recognition of talent would definately help!

Looks make no odds to me. I used to have a 'type' of guy I would go for (yes, Mr hardcore/hip hop did fit this type.... *rolls eyes and shakes head at own predictability* fell into the trap once again Sian....) but i've realised recently that image doesn't count for shit. I don't care what anyone thinks about who I choose to be with, they could have 2 wooden legs, a twitchy eye and a hunch back for all I care, it's whats on the inside that counts and I would still parade them round my home town proudly.
I think it's true what they say, the way to a womans heart is through her mind. Make me laugh and stimulate my mind and i'm all yours, hunch back or not

I don't know about loving someone you've never met, I suppose it could happen if the people were right and both felt the same but I agree, they would have to meet eventually.



I wanna hear about Pearl Jam love stories dammit!! I wanna know if anyone HAS found the love of their life through mutual appreciation, gigs, forums etc...

Or if not Pearl Jam, any other music?

Excellent post... ya know I realised at the weekend *slush alert* that Pearl Jam to me kinda IS love... At the end of a disastrous weekend in Amsterdam when we went into the LAST pub (with about 25 minutes before we had to leave for the airport) and all they played was PJ... as soon as I walked into the pub it was like I was home and everything would be ok... and I got a really smug satisfied feeling that I can't explain

Corso

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

See, music is a massive part of my life and certain songs have indeed changed my life. Nothingman ended my 6 year relationship with my last serious boyfriend. One day I listened to it when out on my own walking, the tears ran down my face and I realised that I was living the life in the song. I took the decision to end that relationship and now i've never been happier.

I agree with many of you, I believe in lust at first sight but not necessarily love. I think that love develops and blossoms over time through getting to know a person. I've lusted after many a man but they usually end up not being right for me.

I don't know if I could be with someone who doesn't like Pearl Jam, I tried it a few weeks ago! Don't get me wrong, the guy was lovely, we had so much in common but Pearl Jam was always a joke to him (he was a hardcore/hip hop fan... yes folks, Pearl Jam was a joke to HIM! go figure....lol), he'd take every opportunity to take the piss. It was funny and kinda cute to start with because we'd have a laugh but it would have never worked in the long run, it was grating on me after being with him for 7 weeks and something he said on our first date kept rattling round my head....

Guy: "I'd love to punch Eddie Vedder in the face hahaha!"
Me: "....... :eek:"
Guy: *pokes me in ribs* "only joking darlin" *winks* "he is a bit of prick though isn't he? always whining...."
Me: "........I need to powder my nose....." *grabs bag and leaves table*

I was sat in a Pearl Jam T-shirt with my Alive tattoo on show that evening. Needless to say, I wasn't a happy little camper for the remainder of said date.

Whoever I choose to be with doesn't have to be as big a fan as I am but appreciation or recognition of talent would definately help!

Looks make no odds to me. I used to have a 'type' of guy I would go for (yes, Mr hardcore/hip hop did fit this type.... *rolls eyes and shakes head at own predictability* fell into the trap once again Sian....) but i've realised recently that image doesn't count for shit. I don't care what anyone thinks about who I choose to be with, they could have 2 wooden legs, a twitchy eye and a hunch back for all I care, it's whats on the inside that counts and I would still parade them round my home town proudly.
I think it's true what they say, the way to a womans heart is through her mind. Make me laugh and stimulate my mind and i'm all yours, hunch back or not

I don't know about loving someone you've never met, I suppose it could happen if the people were right and both felt the same but I agree, they would have to meet eventually.



I wanna hear about Pearl Jam love stories dammit!! I wanna know if anyone HAS found the love of their life through mutual appreciation, gigs, forums etc...

Or if not Pearl Jam, any other music?

audiodave

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

I don't know if I could be with someone who doesn't like Pearl Jam

I don't think it would be a problem for me. It's not the other person loving the same things as me that I require. What is absolutely essential is a respect for the things that I love. If someone takes the piss out of something I love, then they don't respect it, or me, or my opinions. I couldn't deal with that on a daily basis.

urbanhippie

audiodave wrote:

I don't think it would be a problem for me. It's not the other person loving the same things as me that I require. What is absolutely essential is a respect for the things that I love. If someone takes the piss out of something I love, then they don't respect it, or me, or my opinions. I couldn't deal with that on a daily basis.

This is also what I'm saying...

It doesn't matter if someone doesn't love the same things as you. They just have to understand the reason that you love it.

It'd be a shame to ignore the person that could be your soulmate just because they don't like the same music. And anyway, think of the fun you could have just showing them all the things you love that may be new to them.

Sian-of-the-dead

audiodave wrote:

I don't think it would be a problem for me. It's not the other person loving the same things as me that I require. What is absolutely essential is a respect for the things that I love. If someone takes the piss out of something I love, then they don't respect it, or me, or my opinions. I couldn't deal with that on a daily basis.

I don't mean they have to LOVE Pearl Jam. I did say, just having respect and recognition for them would be required as they play such a big part in my life.