Love and Pearl Jam fans

Sian-of-the-dead

Ok... been thinking about this for a while...

What, as Pearl Jam fans, is your attitude towards Love?

I have over the last few years hung out with metal fans who's attitude towards it really is quite negative and superficial. I like to think that Pearl Jam fans are intelligent and articulate people (all the ones i've met certainly are) and I was just wondering if I was on my own or if more Pearl Jam fans felt the same, does the music attract a certain type of idyllic attitude?

So what are your feelings? Do others appearances matter to you? do you believe in love at first sight? can you love someone you've never met? do you believe in soul mates? etc

Also, how have Pearl Jam helped your (for want of a better word) love life? Do you associate songs to people? Did a song start or end a relationship? Have you found love through Pearl Jam either at a gig or through mutual love of the band?

You get the idea

Heineken Helen

One thing I've always wondered at meet ups is how come so many of us are single? And apparently permanently so? Perhaps it's just cos it's mainly single people who can travel to these things (or unless their partner is a PJ fan too) but it still doesn't make sense cos they're usually a good looking bunch

Hinny

They're all so brilliant and I can't make a commitment to just the one person.

I have an idea. Let's start a commune.

urbanhippie

I'm not sure I believe in love at first sight. I may just be being cynical, but I believe that there must be other things in common than just an initial physical attraction.

However, I do believe that a shared love of music is a good basis for a friendship that may develop into something more. Most of the PJ fans I've met share opinions and feelings on other things besides the music.

Despite being a cynic, I do have special songs that remind me of people, places and times in my life.....Every time I hear Indifference, I see Ed singing it at Wembley.....:)

Heineken Helen

Hinny wrote:

They're all so brilliant and I can't make a commitment to just the one person.

I have an idea. Let's start a commune.

hmm... and by 'commune' you mean?????

Heineken Helen

urbanhippie wrote:

I'm not sure I believe in love at first sight. I may just be being cynical, but I believe that there must be other things in common than just an initial physical attraction.

However, I do believe that a shared love of music is a good basis for a friendship that may develop into something more. Most of the PJ fans I've met share opinions and feelings on other things besides the music.

Despite being a cynic, I do have special songs that remind me of people, places and times in my life.....Every time I hear Indifference, I see Ed singing it at Wembley.....:)

I never believed in love at first sight til I experienced it . Unfortunately I don't think he saw things the same way.

As for your middle paragraph, definitely. I remember the days of the early meet ups when all we did was talk about PJ cos we hadn't been able to talk about them so passionately cos we'd never met anyone who felt the same. Now we rarely mention them at all

urbanhippie

Heineken Helen wrote:

I remember the days of the early meet ups when all we did was talk about PJ cos we hadn't been able to talk about them so passionately cos we'd never met anyone who felt the same. Now we rarely mention them at all

And now, we all come on here and rarely mention them at all

Heineken Helen

urbanhippie wrote:

And now, we all come on here and rarely mention them at all

well that's true. I do pop over to the porch every now and then though to see if there's any news but that's it.

glasshouse

romantic love is a tricky subject as far as i'm concerned.

i think some people are more inclined to committing themselves wholeheartedly, cause those people desperately crave companionship

i think some people (at the other end of the spectrum) are very wary toward full commitment, especially those who may have had their heart broken on previous occasions.

personality trades, previous experiences, future aspirations and personal philosophies combines to form a total random view of what each individual perceives and believes to be the concept called "love"

Spunkie

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

Ok... been thinking about this for a while...

What, as Pearl Jam fans, is your attitude towards Love?

I have over the last few years hung out with metal fans who's attitude towards it really is quite negative and superficial. I like to think that Pearl Jam fans are intelligent and articulate people (all the ones i've met certainly are) and I was just wondering if I was on my own or if more Pearl Jam fans felt the same, does the music attract a certain type of idyllic attitude?

So what are your feelings? Do others appearances matter to you? do you believe in love at first sight? can you love someone you've never met? do you believe in soul mates? etc

Also, how have Pearl Jam helped your (for want of a better word) love life? Do you associate songs to people? Did a song start or end a relationship? Have you found love through Pearl Jam either at a gig or through mutual love of the band?

You get the idea

-My attitude is one of constant love towards all people and things.

-I truly believe that love is all you need. I don't know if LBC or other PJ songs attract specific attitudes asides from the intelligence and humour I find on this board.

-Appearances are unimportant to me. We all age, therefore inner beauty is the quality I strive for.

-I believe in love at first sight.

-I love all people, even those I haven't met, although I love stronger the ones that have touched my life.

-If by soul mates, you mean one person for life, we're on the same page.

-Pearl Jam has helped my love life by teaching me how to let go, forgive, love myself, allow myself to be loved, have fun, smile, sing and dance.

-I don't associate pj songs to people, but rather the time/place/feelings/events of when I first heard the song.

-Songs have never started or ended a relationship for me. I take responsibility for my relationships.

-I have found love through Pearl Jam.

audiodave

Love is a complicated thing. When it goes right, nothing else in the world matters. When it goes wrong, the world seems to fall apart.

I believe love is the most powerful thing in the world. Not just romantic love, but all kinds. The love you have for your family, for your friends, for the world we live in...for me it's one of the only things that makes life worth living. Too many people in the world are full of hate for one another, and I can't help but feel they might be a little happier if they let a bit of love into their lives, one way or another (I realise this is a VERY naive way to look at things, but whatever).

I would love to say appearences don't matter, but they do to a certain extent. They are certainly not the be all and end all. Once I get to know a person, if I like their personality, they can become attractive even if there was no initial attraction based on their appearence. Personality is more important to me though.

I'm not sure about love at first sight, as it hasn't happened to me, but i'm not going to say it doesn't exist. You never know. As for loving someone you've never met, definitely. I know a lot of people are sceptical about this, but just because you've never experienced something, doesn't mean it can't happen. And just because you don't think it could happen to you, doesn't mean it can't happen to someone else. Love occurs in the most unlikely of places a lot of the time.

Don't let any negative people being you down when it comes to love. If they want to wallow in the own misery, then let them. Love is all you need, and if they can't see that, then it's going to be a lonely life for them indeed.

even flow?

Thanks to PJ I have met some very wonderful people, who I have had the pleasure of attending concerts, dinners, stay overs and drink ups.

GraySaturday

my husband is only a casual fan of pearl jam. Enjoys the music and has started to take an interest in some of their music on his own. But when we went to lolla I had a broken/strained foot and I really wanted to be in the front row since my 10c number is so high and I will never get those seats. We got there really early to try to get up close and when it cane to having to run, there was no way with my hurt foot that I could run to the stage. He ran all the way there to save me a spot and then stood with me all day to see pearl jam in the front row. Of course I loved him very much way before then, but it was such an eye opener to see someone act so selfless. I would have been so crabby if it were reversed and this just made me realize how lucky I am. Pearl jam brings out the love in us :-)

sigh eternally

pearl jam helped ruin my love life once.

Corso

Hinny wrote:

They're all so brilliant and I can't make a commitment to just the one person.

I have an idea. Let's start a commune.

I have been thinking the same thing. Excellent idea....

Corso

Heineken Helen wrote:

One thing I've always wondered at meet ups is how come so many of us are single? And apparently permanently so? Perhaps it's just cos it's mainly single people who can travel to these things (or unless their partner is a PJ fan too) but it still doesn't make sense cos they're usually a good looking bunch

so true.

Sian-of-the-dead

tish wrote:

-My attitude is one of constant love towards all people and things.

-I truly believe that love is all you need. I don't know if LBC or other PJ songs attract specific attitudes asides from the intelligence and humour I find on this board.

-Appearances are unimportant to me. We all age, therefore inner beauty is the quality I strive for.

-I believe in love at first sight.

-I love all people, even those I haven't met, although I love stronger the ones that have touched my life.

-If by soul mates, you mean one person for life, we're on the same page.

-Pearl Jam has helped my love life by teaching me how to let go, forgive, love myself, allow myself to be loved, have fun, smile, sing and dance.

-I don't associate pj songs to people, but rather the time/place/feelings/events of when I first heard the song.

-Songs have never started or ended a relationship for me. I take responsibility for my relationships.

-I have found love through Pearl Jam.

This post really made me smile

Sian-of-the-dead

audiodave wrote:

Love is a complicated thing. When it goes right, nothing else in the world matters. When it goes wrong, the world seems to fall apart.

I believe love is the most powerful thing in the world. Not just romantic love, but all kinds. The love you have for your family, for your friends, for the world we live in...for me it's one of the only things that makes life worth living. Too many people in the world are full of hate for one another, and I can't help but feel they might be a little happier if they let a bit of love into their lives, one way or another (I realise this is a VERY naive way to look at things, but whatever).

I would love to say appearences don't matter, but they do to a certain extent. They are certainly not the be all and end all. Once I get to know a person, if I like their personality, they can become attractive even if there was no initial attraction based on their appearence. Personality is more important to me though.

I'm not sure about love at first sight, as it hasn't happened to me, but i'm not going to say it doesn't exist. You never know. As for loving someone you've never met, definitely. I know a lot of people are sceptical about this, but just because you've never experienced something, doesn't mean it can't happen. And just because you don't think it could happen to you, doesn't mean it can't happen to someone else. Love occurs in the most unlikely of places a lot of the time.

Don't let any negative people being you down when it comes to love. If they want to wallow in the own misery, then let them. Love is all you need, and if they can't see that, then it's going to be a lonely life for them indeed.

Thank you Dave, knew I could rely on you

I know it hasn't happened to you but do you believe you COULD fall in love at first sight? Do you believe in the premise of it?

Blackeyedangel

I believe there is lust at first sight, but not love at first sight.

genie

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

Ok... been thinking about this for a while...

What, as Pearl Jam fans, is your attitude towards Love?

I have over the last few years hung out with metal fans who's attitude towards it really is quite negative and superficial. I like to think that Pearl Jam fans are intelligent and articulate people (all the ones i've met certainly are) and I was just wondering if I was on my own or if more Pearl Jam fans felt the same, does the music attract a certain type of idyllic attitude?

So what are your feelings? Do others appearances matter to you? do you believe in love at first sight? can you love someone you've never met? do you believe in soul mates? etc

Also, how have Pearl Jam helped your (for want of a better word) love life? Do you associate songs to people? Did a song start or end a relationship? Have you found love through Pearl Jam either at a gig or through mutual love of the band?

You get the idea

yep i hang out with metalheads too. and yep, some of them are fucked up and have negative outlook....as for superficial things i don't thinks so...well not the people i met.
love......what is it? i don't think i know what it is. i think love is overrated. my attitude towards love is that it should be something magical and precious....like discovering presents for a kid from Santa on a Christmas day.
Other people's appearances do matter to me, because i physically cannot find myself being attracted to a fat guy....sorry and also ugly one. i don't believe in love at first sight, because i need to get to know someone's personality more to find out whether they're are the ones for me.

Haha, and ofcourse i can love someone i've never met, great example of this is Eddie!!!!

i do believe in soulmates but i will not make my soulmate my boyfriend - never.

I always associate songs to a particular events in my life.

genie

Blackeyedangel wrote:

I believe there is lust at first sight, but not love at first sight.

yep that's what i was trying to say.

Jeanie

audiodave wrote:

Love is a complicated thing. When it goes right, nothing else in the world matters. When it goes wrong, the world seems to fall apart.

I believe love is the most powerful thing in the world. Not just romantic love, but all kinds. The love you have for your family, for your friends, for the world we live in...for me it's one of the only things that makes life worth living. Too many people in the world are full of hate for one another, and I can't help but feel they might be a little happier if they let a bit of love into their lives, one way or another (I realise this is a VERY naive way to look at things, but whatever).

I would love to say appearences don't matter, but they do to a certain extent. They are certainly not the be all and end all. Once I get to know a person, if I like their personality, they can become attractive even if there was no initial attraction based on their appearence. Personality is more important to me though.

I'm not sure about love at first sight, as it hasn't happened to me, but i'm not going to say it doesn't exist. You never know. As for loving someone you've never met, definitely. I know a lot of people are sceptical about this, but just because you've never experienced something, doesn't mean it can't happen. And just because you don't think it could happen to you, doesn't mean it can't happen to someone else. Love occurs in the most unlikely of places a lot of the time.

Don't let any negative people being you down when it comes to love. If they want to wallow in the own misery, then let them. Love is all you need, and if they can't see that, then it's going to be a lonely life for them indeed.

What dave said.

Love you btw!

urbanhippie

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

Ok... been thinking about this for a while...

What, as Pearl Jam fans, is your attitude towards Love?

I have over the last few years hung out with metal fans who's attitude towards it really is quite negative and superficial. I like to think that Pearl Jam fans are intelligent and articulate people (all the ones i've met certainly are) and I was just wondering if I was on my own or if more Pearl Jam fans felt the same, does the music attract a certain type of idyllic attitude?

So what are your feelings? Do others appearances matter to you? do you believe in love at first sight? can you love someone you've never met? do you believe in soul mates? etc

Also, how have Pearl Jam helped your (for want of a better word) love life? Do you associate songs to people? Did a song start or end a relationship? Have you found love through Pearl Jam either at a gig or through mutual love of the band?

You get the idea

Maybe I was being a litle cynical saying I don't believe in love at first sight. I do believe that there can be an initial attraction that may lead to love. And as for loving someone you've never met, why not?
If you know someone, then you know them. Their physical presence is not necessary. I have spoken to many people that I've never met or rarely at least. Some of them are very special to me, they know me and I know them. It makes sense that love can grow this way.
If this is true then it also means that physical apperance matters very little, to me at least. If someone has a beautiful soul it will shine through.

pearljamgirl07

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

Ok... been thinking about this for a while...

What, as Pearl Jam fans, is your attitude towards Love?

I have over the last few years hung out with metal fans who's attitude towards it really is quite negative and superficial. I like to think that Pearl Jam fans are intelligent and articulate people (all the ones i've met certainly are) and I was just wondering if I was on my own or if more Pearl Jam fans felt the same, does the music attract a certain type of idyllic attitude?

So what are your feelings? Do others appearances matter to you? do you believe in love at first sight? can you love someone you've never met? do you believe in soul mates? etc

Also, how have Pearl Jam helped your (for want of a better word) love life? Do you associate songs to people? Did a song start or end a relationship? Have you found love through Pearl Jam either at a gig or through mutual love of the band?

You get the idea

First ,I believe in love ,I don't know if I believe in love at first sigth cause it never happened to me ,and for me is impossible to love someone that you've never met this is an illusion not love .And I absolutly believe in soul mates.
I don't think that all metal fans attitude towards love is quite superficial and negetive...

audiodave

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

Thank you Dave, knew I could rely on you

I know it hasn't happened to you but do you believe you COULD fall in love at first sight? Do you believe in the premise of it?

I think so. Though like urbanhippie said, it takes more than appearance to make me fall in love (a lot more), and a persons personality is a much bigger factor for me. Maybe love after first conversation though.

But who knows. It could happen.

GreenTeaDisease

pearl jam fans are too cool to find anyone good enough .

No seriously, it hasn't helped my love life at all...being a music fan in general I think has actually held me back. I don't think guys find girls who love alice n' chains very feminine. and I don't think they like it when a girl knows more about something that is generally considered a male thing, like rock music, than they do.

general attitude towards Love (with a capital L) don't really believe in it all that much. Well, I think it might be out there but is very rare.

love in general, like loving people and caring about them? big fan of that.

GreenTeaDisease

Heineken Helen wrote:

One thing I've always wondered at meet ups is how come so many of us are single? And apparently permanently so? Perhaps it's just cos it's mainly single people who can travel to these things (or unless their partner is a PJ fan too) but it still doesn't make sense cos they're usually a good looking bunch

honestly helen, the coolest, best-looking people I know are generally the "permanently" single among us. I think because a lot of really high-quality people are just not willing to settle, and are comfortable with themselves and comfortable with being on their own.

For me, I've dated some good guys but none that I could see myself spending my life with at all. But I know a lot of people who, in the same situation, would marry that person...perhaps, because they think marriage is very important in and of itself. I think a lot of people who feel that way may not be comfortable being independent. honestly I think I value marriage more than a lot of people I know who ARE married, because I think you should only get married if the two of you absolutely blow each other out of the water in every way.

urbanhippie

pearljamgirl07 wrote:

First ,I believe in love ,I don't know if I believe in love at first sigth cause it never happened to me ,and for me is impossible to love someone that you've never met this is an illusion not love .And I absolutly believe in soul mates.
I don't think that all metal fans attitude towards love is quite superficial and negetive...

I don't think it's impossible to love someone you've never met.
If that person is honest with you and you with them then surely you can know them.
A friend of mine is married and has a child with someone she met in an internet chatroom. The connection between them was enough to carry them through to meeting each other and falling in love.
I agree that having someone physically present makes it easier, but that doesn't mean the love is an illusion.

audiodave

urbanhippie wrote:

I agree that having someone physically present makes it easier, but that doesn't mean the love is an illusion.

No it doesn't. And calling it an illusion is quite insulting. Like I said before, just because something hasn't happened to you, doesn't mean it can't happen or hasn't happened to someone else.

urbanhippie

audiodave wrote:

No it doesn't. And calling it an illusion is quite insulting. Like I said before, just because something hasn't happened to you, doesn't mean it can't happen or hasn't happened to someone else.

I think you're quite a romantic at heart really Dave...;)

The important thing here is you HAVE to really KNOW someone. Then the love is not an illusion, it's a fact.

And if you know someone that well, why would physical appearance or even presence make a difference?

I believe that it's the soul of a person that matters, the inside, not the outside.

harmless_little_f***

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

Ok... been thinking about this for a while...

What, as Pearl Jam fans, is your attitude towards Love?

I like love, but it's a difficult, multi-faceted can of fish; romance in itself is not love, romance is only an aspect of it. So far, the only love I've experienced which has been totally consistent has been that of a small handful of friends and family.

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

So what are your feelings?

I'm quite bored - Saturday afternoons suck!

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

Do others' appearances matter to you?

Very little. Of course sexual attraction is important - anyone who says it isn't is being a banana, but I'm more attracted to self-confidence and whether I can 'hang out' and have a joke or talk at length with someone. A sense of humour is sexy. Christ I sound like a woman! Being disabled myself, there aren't many physical taboos that would put me off being with someone I loved for deeper reasons.

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

Do you believe in love at first sight?

I believe the potential for love can be there at first sight, but it takes work. All the relationships I've been in which were based on intense physical attraction didn't work for very long. But I've had two or three extremely memorable relationships where it took months to begin to find the girl attractive. There's nothing like finding out months or years down the line that actually, that good friend you've been hanging out with all that time has suddenly become sexy as hell for reasons you just can't put your finger on. I like slow-burners.

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

Can you love someone you've never met?

'Met' in what sense? Yes. You can love someone you've chatted to at length on line, for example, as long as there has been total honesty on both parties. You can by-pass a lot of smalltalk bullshit online. I personally will write more honestly than I'll speak most of the time. But again, this question wholly depends on how hung up on looks one is.

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

Do you believe in soul mates? etc

Yes, but again, it's very little to do with romance. Most of the girls I've been involved with who've said 'I feel like we're soulmates' were breaking up with me at the time. I have friends who are soulmates but they'd never use the word.

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

Also, how have Pearl Jam helped your (for want of a better word) love life?

They've got a good load of break-up songs which have helped at various times.

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

Do you associate songs to people?

People? No. But situations, experiences, yes.

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

Did a song start or end a relationship?

Nope. We used 'Echo' by Incubus at our wedding, so it's difficult to listen to that right now, and her favourite PJ song was 'Soon Forget' (funny that) but apart from that...

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

Have you found love through Pearl Jam either at a gig or through mutual love of the band?

Not as yet, but I am holding out for a PJ girl for the future.

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

You get the idea

Thanks for a very cathartic thread.