Close Shaves

Byrnzie

I had one today. I was walking down some icy steps on the side of a valley here in China after it snowed here last night and there was a sheer drop of about 40 ft onto some big rocks in the river. I slipped over and fell towards the edge. I thought for a second that I was going over the edge. I dropped my £1200 camera and it bounced down the steps - luckily it didn't go over the side. Anyway, I landed right on the edge and grazed my hand up. And to make it worse there was nobody else around, so I would have gotten no help.
I was fucking lucky. If I'd gone over I would have either been badly crippled or dead.

What are your stories?

neilybabes86

when i was 12 a dog jumped off the roof of my building (13 stories) and it landed 3 ft. from me

if it hits me i would have been dead on contact as it was a big dog

MrMerkinball

neilybabes86 wrote:

when i was 12 a dog jumped off the roof of my building (13 stories) and it landed 3 ft. from me

if it hits me i would have been dead on contact as it was a big dog

THat's crazy - Why would a Dog try to commit suicide? Must have been a snausage addiction.

neilybabes86

MrMerkinball wrote:

neilybabes86 wrote:

when i was 12 a dog jumped off the roof of my building (13 stories) and it landed 3 ft. from me

if it hits me i would have been dead on contact as it was a big dog

THat's crazy - Why would a Dog try to commit suicide? Must have been a snausage addiction.

well they said it jumped but it might have been tossed off

crazy people

we were playing football so nobody saw it coming

it sounded like a bomb went off

needless to say the dog wasn't looking to good afterwards

Claireack

Not so much of a close shave, well a bit I guess. Hubby and I were walking through a forest in Sri Lanka with a guide. I was 4 months pregnant and started to feel a bit off so said they should go on and I would walk back. Off they trotted, I promptly passed out and came to with nobody around, I couldn't get up initially so shouted for help - nobody came to my rescue :( . Panicked quite a bit, managed to get up and stagger off, crying. I wobbled over logs crossing little streams and felt completely alone in the world, about 15 minutes later, a large party of school children came skipping along the path. I wasn't alone at all and if I hadn't been alright someone would have been along pretty soon. But that initial feeling of panic was just horrible!!

Lizard

Wow—Crazy stories!!!

When I was about 20 my younger brother shot his shot gun into the hall I had just walked passed about 3 seconds before!! Pellets EVERYWHERE. Pooped my pants (almost)

Yeah—that gun safety class really helped!

chadwick

Byrnzie wrote:

I had one today. I was walking down some icy steps on the side of a valley here in China after it snowed here last night and there was a sheer drop of about 40 ft onto some big rocks in the river. I slipped over and fell towards the edge. I thought for a second that I was going over the edge. I dropped my £1200 camera and it bounced down the steps - luckily it didn't go over the side. Anyway, I landed right on the edge and grazed my hand up. And to make it worse there was nobody else around, so I would have gotten no help.
I was fucking lucky. If I'd gone over I would have either been badly crippled or dead.

What are your stories?

holy shit man
that scared me reading that

norm

i was 10 years old on vacation with my family in cabo...i was walking along the beach when the tide started rolling in and it hit me hard against my legs, knocked me down and pulling me out...if you've ever been caught by a riptide you know the feeling...it's like the water has grabbed you and is pulling you under water...well being 10, i didn't know shit about a riptide i just assumed it was a really strong wave

so i start swimming back to shore but i'm not getting closer...in fact i'm getting farther away...now my dad and brother are about 500 yards down the shore from where i am...i can see them and i see my dad start to walk toward me...now i'm swimming as hard as i can but i'm making no progress...and now i'm starting to be pulled underwater...so now i know i'm in trouble and i start yelling for my dad and brother all the time swimming as hard as i can...and there was point where i was starting to get tired and wasn't sure i could continue to fight the tide

at this point the tide eased up and i was able to swim out of it just as my dad arrived...the whole thing probably took all of 2 and a half minutes but it seemed like an eternity...when we told my mom she first expressed relief and then said "i came to mexico with 5 kids and i want to return with 5!" :oops:

neilybabes86

norm wrote:

i was 10 years old on vacation with my family in cabo...i was walking along the beach when the tide started rolling in and it hit me hard against my legs, knocked me down and pulling me out...if you've ever been caught by a riptide you know the feeling...it's like the water has grabbed you and is pulling you under water...well being 10, i didn't know shit about a riptide i just assumed it was a really strong wave

so i start swimming back to shore but i'm not getting closer...in fact i'm getting farther away...now my dad and brother are about 500 yards down the shore from where i am...i can see them and i see my dad start to walk toward me...now i'm swimming as hard as i can but i'm making no progress...and now i'm starting to be pulled underwater...so now i know i'm in trouble and i start yelling for my dad and brother all the time swimming as hard as i can...and there was point where i was starting to get tired and wasn't sure i could continue to fight the tide

at this point the tide eased up and i was able to swim out of it just as my dad arrived...the whole thing probably took all of 2 and a half minutes but it seemed like an eternity...when we told my mom she first expressed relief and then said "i came to mexico with 5 kids and i want to return with 5!" :oops:

never turn your back on the ocean cut

chadwick

this one time we hid all of our weed and alcohol before the cops showed up

eyedclaar

chadwick wrote:

this one time we hid all of our weed and alcohol before the cops showed up

I once talked to a cop who was actually looking for me at the time AND I was tweaked to the gills on mushrooms, I mean like my pupils had devoured the iris of my eyes. However, I think the last thing he expected was for his perp to walk up and engage him in conversation. I asked him how his night had been and then he asked me if I had seen anyone prowling around and I was like, “No Sir, but I will let you know if I do!”

the wolf

I had a gun held to my head for about 5 minutes. the guy was out of his mind on something. I just said "ya know what, pull the trigger, do me a fucking favor." we were in the parking lot of a bar.

he then heard the cops coming down the street and told me that I was crazy and ran away.

Heatherj43

1. Cops told me they HAD been looking for me for an armed robbery 'cuz " I fit the description", but they found the right girl. LUCKILY!!

2. On Woodward Ave, a big highway here, a car turned left from the furthest right lane, right in front of me. I swerved and ended up in the divider all spun around and stuff. I have spun out several times throughout my years. All of them bad , but lucky.

3. A rooky cop held a gun at me while I was hiding behind a door in an abandon hotel in Fort Lauderdale. He was more afraid than me and didn't know what he was facing, thus trigger ready. I refused to move until he put gun down.

All many moons ago, thankfully, but then...

4. I had 14 minute timed seizure!! No breathing for several minutes. All blue and stuff. I then went catatonic for 5 minutes.

jimed14

...

aNiMaL

I use the Gillette Fusion. Five blades, plus one on the back. I find it gives me a real close shave.

Thoughts_Arrive

aNiMaL wrote:

I use the Gillette Fusion. Five blades, plus one on the back. I find it gives me a real close shave.

You beat me to it, I use that same blade.
Best one ever.

dunkman

My mum was heavily pregnant and she and my dad decided to drive over the border from Scotland to the English city of Carlisle to look at baby furniture or something... I was born the next day in Scotland... how tragic it would have been if they had went that one day later!

even flow - question mark

I've had a few but one of the better ones was....two of us were up on a train trestle which one of the tracks had been removed. So there we are walking on the one track and about the middle is when a train started coming. 150 ft up is no option to jump. So we ran at the train and by the time we got to a spot we could jump I could see the conductor pulling the horn chain through the window of the train. I jumped into a pit about 20 ft down as that was where I had to exit the track before being creamed.

Stooooopid thing is the very next week a bunch of us went back to the ravine and some decided to go across the trestle again. I decided against that and sure enough a train caught the guys in the middle again. They didn't run they just climbed down the steel a wee bit and hung on as the train rolled over their heads. Then they made their way back up and continued across the bridge. I didn't have the hang in their option as I am terrified of heights.

Sian-of-the-dead

I've had a few but they've all been my own fault! :roll:

I was once mountain biking with my Dad, we went to the top of the slag heap at our local quarry. few hundred feet drop either side, single track from top to bottom and a severe right hand turn at the end. If you didn't turn right, you went through the trees and ended up as strawberry jam at the bottom of the quarry. My Dad looked at me at the top of the slag heap and said:

"Get your arse over the seat and try not to die... you're mum'll kill me"

...and promptly rode off. I did as he said and turned right at the bottom, the back end of my bike slid out and scraped inches from the single line of trees on the edge of the cliff... I thought i'd lost it as I didn't seem to stop. Luckily I was just strong enough to pull it up and keep some sort of control. I survived and I was laughing manically by the time I reached my Dad, thanks to the adrenaline rush...

Needless to say, when the reality of what could've happened hit me, I didn't do it again.

ZiggyStar

Once I was sitting on the floor of the bath shaving my leg and I was leaning over a bit doing my knee but somehow leaned over too far and sliced my right nipple with the razor! I had two little cuts about 2 millimetres long and FUCK IT HURT!!! :shock: :shock: Soooo fucking much. Right on the tip! It stung for days. Bled heaps too! That's as close to shaving my nipples as I ever want to get! :?

Byrnzie

norm wrote:

i was 10 years old on vacation with my family in cabo...i was walking along the beach when the tide started rolling in and it hit me hard against my legs, knocked me down and pulling me out...if you've ever been caught by a riptide you know the feeling...it's like the water has grabbed you and is pulling you under water...well being 10, i didn't know shit about a riptide i just assumed it was a really strong wave

so i start swimming back to shore but i'm not getting closer...in fact i'm getting farther away...now my dad and brother are about 500 yards down the shore from where i am...i can see them and i see my dad start to walk toward me...now i'm swimming as hard as i can but i'm making no progress...and now i'm starting to be pulled underwater...so now i know i'm in trouble and i start yelling for my dad and brother all the time swimming as hard as i can...and there was point where i was starting to get tired and wasn't sure i could continue to fight the tide

at this point the tide eased up and i was able to swim out of it just as my dad arrived...the whole thing probably took all of 2 and a half minutes but it seemed like an eternity...when we told my mom she first expressed relief and then said "i came to mexico with 5 kids and i want to return with 5!" :oops:

Damn! One of my biggest gears is drowning. And I'm a bad swimmer.

Byrnzie

the wolf wrote:

I had a gun held to my head for about 5 minutes. the guy was out of his mind on something. I just said "ya know what, pull the trigger, do me a fucking favor." we were in the parking lot of a bar.

he then heard the cops coming down the street and told me that I was crazy and ran away.

Charles Bukowski told a great story about a similar situation. It's on the Bukowski Tapes - a collection of video interviews by the director of Bar Fly. You should check it out. You'll relate to it.

Byrnzie

aNiMaL wrote:

I use the Gillette Fusion. Five blades, plus one on the back. I find it gives me a real close shave.

I don't like Gillette. I'm a Wilkinson Sword man. Unfortunately you can only get Gillette's here in China.

Byrnzie

dunkman wrote:

My mum was heavily pregnant and she and my dad decided to drive over the border from Scotland to the English city of Carlisle to look at baby furniture or something... I was born the next day in Scotland... how tragic it would have been if they had went that one day later!

Byrnzie

ZiggyStar wrote:

Once I was sitting on the floor of the bath shaving my leg and I was leaning over a bit doing my knee but somehow leaned over too far and sliced my right nipple with the razor! I had two little cuts about 2 millimetres long and FUCK IT HURT!!! :shock: :shock: Soooo fucking much. Right on the tip! It stung for days. Bled heaps too! That's as close to shaving my nipples as I ever want to get! :?

I just caught myself saying 'Oh my God' out loud when I read that. :shock:

chime

My whole getting run over by a car thing a few months ago was probably the closest shave I've had.

Byrnzie

chime wrote:

My whole getting run over by a car thing a few months ago was probably the closest shave I've had.

I got hit by a car going about 50mph when I was 18. Luckily I was so drunk that I just bounced over the top of it. I didn't break any bones, just bruised my right leg and suffered a few cuts and grazes. If I hadn't been so drunk I'd have been killed. Then again, if I hadn't been so drunk I wouldn't have been dancing in the road at midnight. :oops:

dunkman

I once set fire to a Calor Gas heater via the method of "dropping a rubber ball onto the flame" (don't ask me why? i was about 14 and obviously quite stupid)... the ball then started to melt everywhere and leaked onto the living room carpet.

I panicked.

couldnt turn the fucking flame thing off on the heater so I attempted to pull the hose that connected the big tank of gas to the heater. I just about managed it but by then the ball had already melted so I just gave up. If i had managed it the big tank of gas would have just spewed out gas and most likely would have blown me and the house to bits.

I was about 4 millimetres worth of hose from death... which reminds me of the time I almost had sex with Mrs Septicfanny down the road from me... but thats a whole other thread.

pandora

When I was 19 I was helping my boyfriend move, my trunk full of his stuff. Standing on the far left side of my trunk I reached for the crate of albums- he said "thats too heavy, I'll take that next, grab the backpack". I moved a foot to the right and a drunk driver came hit my car- took it 3 car lengths forward -albums, gas all over the street and totaled my car. If I hadn't have moved I would have been seriously crushed- dead or alive.

eyedclaar

This one time I very nearly escaped the fuzz in a high-speed chase. Sadly, I didn't realize I was actually racing the cops as they were in an unmarked car and out of their jurisdiction. Instead they got on the radio and waiting across the next county line was a half a dozen cop cars forming a road block. Still, I almost escaped.

g under p

eyedclaar wrote:

This one time I very nearly escaped the fuzz in a high-speed chase. Sadly, I didn't realize I was actually racing the cops as they were in an unmarked car and out of their jurisdiction. Instead they got on the radio and waiting across the next county line was a half a dozen cop cars forming a road block. Still, I almost escaped.

Man you were road blocked now that's taking your chances. Some of these close shaves are sounding like
1000 Ways To Die show. However, we're still here.

peace