I AM NOW ENGAGED...

Black Diamond

First of all, a HUGE Mazel Tov for getting to this point in your life. Nothing better if you put all the little touches on it, including this step. I flew down to Norfolk, VA to meet up directly with her father eventhough it was pretty apparent that it was coming. Has paid dividends over the years because he always respected me for doing that. Nothing better than having her dad in your corner...

eyedclaar

Been married twice and never asked permission once. In fact, I make it a point to not ask permission in general. They have to respect me, even if they don't like me; I was raised by wolves and I'll bite anyone who pisses me off. They know that.

nuffingman

I didn't...... he's dead.

eyedclaar

nuffingman wrote:

I didn't...... he's dead.

Actually, for the second marriage, this was my case as well. Sometimes I think about the fact that I wear the same ring my wife's father was wearing when he died in a horrible cropdusting accident. I have a dead man's ring on my finger.

dunkman

South of Seattle wrote:

The Jeagler wrote:

Jearlpam0925 wrote:

Dude, if you're serious about this, then just do it. Like ripping off a band aid. Get a hold of his number, ask him if he's free - or hell, just show up at their house - and do it. Tell him your plans, etc. etc. Just be forthright. I know a guy who drove all the way to Blacksburg, Va. just to do this very thing. It's definitely a good move on your part.

Congrats, by the way with all this. And good luck, man.

thanks

Congrats Dude. Just don't get too drunk with the new father in-law and blow it.

blow what? and wouldnt that cause all manner of future embarrassments for them both... knowing that his future son-in-law was a proficient pink oboe player!!

:thumbup:

nuffingman

eyedclaar wrote:

nuffingman wrote:

I didn't...... he's dead.

Sometimes I think about the fact that I wear the same ring my wife's father was wearing when he died in a horrible cropdusting accident.

My mind is going into a spin. You couldn't make that up.

MrMerkinball

I didn't ask.

Our first date was a 3 day trip to vegas (long story)

He drove us to the airport, so I figured he wasn't too old fashioned.

Year's later he told me he was just trying to pawn her off on any taker. She was the third daughter...and he was tired of living with all those women, and wanted her out of the house.

eyedclaar

nuffingman wrote:

eyedclaar wrote:

nuffingman wrote:

I didn't...... he's dead.

Sometimes I think about the fact that I wear the same ring my wife's father was wearing when he died in a horrible cropdusting accident.

My mind is going into a spin. You couldn't make that up.

No. For once, I'm not making things up.

inlet13

Call up their house phone. In the call, arrange to stop by (by yourself of course). I did that part with my wife's mom. Women are smart, she'll know immediately why you are coming over and communicate that to her husband. Then stop by, and have a beer if offered, and just say that you want to marry their daughter. That's that.

Also, I had my wife's mom and dad there. Sometimes the mom wants to be there. But, obviously, the question should be mostly directed to the dad. Actually, I think it's easier with the mom there.

I was engaged twice... first time with my ex girl friend, I asked her Dad alone... next time, with my wife, I asked Dad and Mom. The first time, I went up to NY from Philly with my gf for Thanksgiving. While helping her dad outside with some yard work, I asked him there.... so, that's another way you could go about it. Most likely, the opportunity will present itself,.... but, I preferred the planned method.

Either way, your wife will be happy you made the effort and their family will most likely feel like you are a good stand-up dude.

Phantom Pain

The Jeagler wrote:

...your wife's father for his permission to marry her?

does everyone still do this?

i'm at the point where i'm about ready to make a move. the gf has told me she'd prefer me to do it the old fashioned way and ask her dad. i only ever really talk to him when we have dinner or a family gathering type thing and it looks like we probably won't have one of those before i do the proposing thing.

how should i go about this?!

Well...my Father-in-Law is not a hang in the bar have a beer type of guy

I called him and asked if he would be in at his Real Estate office

I drove over and asked for his permission and showed him the ring and everything and told him how I was going to propose to her

It was a little nerve racking but he was cool with everything

Who Princess

I'm really impressed that guys actually do this!

I've been married 31 years. My husband didn't talk to my dad before we got engaged. We told my parents together on Christmas Eve the year before we married. They acted like it was ho hum news. :roll:

Also, my sister and her husband are VERY traditional and straightlaced, but my brother-in-law didn't speak to my father beforehand either. If anybody I knew was going to do that, it would have been him.

Maybe because it was the 70s and we all thought we were past that kind of stuff. :shifty:

But I also can't believe that guys actually get down on one knee and propose nowadays. :wtf:
My future husband and I were driving to Baskin-Robbins and he said something about us getting married after I finished grad school and I said OK.

eyedclaar

whoprincess wrote:

I'm really impressed that guys actually do this!

I've been married 31 years. My husband didn't talk to my dad before we got engaged. We told my parents together on Christmas Eve the year before we married. They acted like it was ho hum news. :roll:

Also, my sister and her husband are VERY traditional and straightlaced, but my brother-in-law didn't speak to my father beforehand either. If anybody I knew was going to do that, it would have been him.

Maybe because it was the 70s and we all thought we were past that kind of stuff. :shifty:

But I also can't believe that guys actually get down on one knee and propose nowadays. :wtf:
My future husband and I were driving to Baskin-Robbins and he said something about us getting married after I finished grad school and I said OK.

Hehe

For my second proposal, my wife and I were camping, and I actually had the ring in my pocket (was gonna propose in our favorite hidden hot spring later), when my wife started complaining about the fact we had been together for years and still no talk of marriage, blah, blah, blah. I pulled the ring out my pocket and with a big ol' smile said, "This ought to shut you up." Guess it was more of a d.claar-ative statement than it was a question...

True story. I'm a romantic at heart.

vduboise

My husband asked my mom 2 weeks before proposing. And he got down on one knee! He said the ring was burning a hole in his pocket the whole time.

Who Princess

eyedclaar wrote:

whoprincess wrote:

I'm really impressed that guys actually do this!

I've been married 31 years. My husband didn't talk to my dad before we got engaged. We told my parents together on Christmas Eve the year before we married. They acted like it was ho hum news. :roll:

Also, my sister and her husband are VERY traditional and straightlaced, but my brother-in-law didn't speak to my father beforehand either. If anybody I knew was going to do that, it would have been him.

Maybe because it was the 70s and we all thought we were past that kind of stuff. :shifty:

But I also can't believe that guys actually get down on one knee and propose nowadays. :wtf:
My future husband and I were driving to Baskin-Robbins and he said something about us getting married after I finished grad school and I said OK.

Hehe

For my second proposal, my wife and I were camping, and I actually had the ring in my pocket (was gonna propose in our favorite hidden hot spring later), when my wife started complaining about the fact we had been together for years and still no talk of marriage, blah, blah, blah. I pulled the ring out my pocket and with a big ol' smile said, "This ought to shut you up." Guess it was more of a d.claar-ative statement than it was a question...

True story. I'm a romantic at heart.

I believe it! That's pretty funny.

I really think it's kind of a generational thing or that maybe these things go in cycles. My oldest nephew got married about 3 years ago and he went the completely traditional route, talking to her dad beforehand and then getting down on one knee to propose.

If my husband had gotten down on one knee and asked me, I'd have thought he was joking! Mean it!

decides2dream

eyedclaar wrote:

Hehe

For my second proposal, my wife and I were camping, and I actually had the ring in my pocket (was gonna propose in our favorite hidden hot spring later), when my wife started complaining about the fact we had been together for years and still no talk of marriage, blah, blah, blah. I pulled the ring out my pocket and with a big ol' smile said, "This ought to shut you up." Guess it was more of a d.claar-ative statement than it was a question...

True story. I'm a romantic at heart.

awesome!



i had an entirely romantic proposal, but i did know it was coming, just not the when/where. we went ring shopping together a couple months earlier.

i am actually surprised how many still follow the traditional route in asking for 'permission' from the father. for me personally, i think it's an antiquated custom that i disagree with, tho i realize many just see it as being 'traditional'.....so yea. not for me, at all....my husband did not do so and my father was certainly not slighted, he loved my husband/then BF. tho i guess i did have the full traditional wedding (tho my mother 'gave me away' as my father passed away, tho i was always going to have both of them do so) and i did take my husband's name. if i did it all over again today, i'd have eloped somewhere, just us, and probably just kept my own name rather than using both. such is life...


congrats and good luck jeags!

Steve Dunne

Jeagler. You Moron! Haven't you read enough crap on here to NOT get married??? If not, I'm personally going to petition Kat & Sea to allow Green Tea Disease back on the board, but only if she responds to your posts, and your posts only.

My in-laws asked ME if I would PLEASE marry their daughter! I should have known! Years later and they've still thanked me for doing so!

But seeing as how you're an idiot Philly and Nova sports phanatic, then go to Nova game with him and ask him in the first half. Assuming Nova wins the game and he gives you his blessing, then you both will have a bond that will stick. I'd say the Sixers game because God knows there would be plenty of tickets available, but that's boring as hell, and you just never know with the Broadstreet Bullies.

All kidding aside, congrats, and good luck with your decision. Old school is my advice. When I asked, her mom and dad were both present which made it special. They were very appreciative and it paid dividends when the wedding came around.

good luck!

cowboypjfan

I took my fiance's Dad for lunch and asked him two weeks before we left for Italy. As someone mentioned, he was more nervous than me but respected the gesture!

Good luck Jeags and don't propose on a holiday or other special event(It's tacky!) This day should be unique in the date and method you choose to do it.

mfc2006

[quote="jimed14"

Just ask him to have a beer some time and chat ... that's how I did it. Heck, my future father in law was more nervous than I was.[/quote]


so was mine. i actually asked her father & mother...to be honest i don't remember exactly what i said, but it went well! 8-)

The Juggler

thanks for all the advice guys. much appreciated!

DinghyDog

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