I AM NOW ENGAGED...

The Juggler

...your wife's father for his permission to marry her?

does everyone still do this?

i'm at the point where i'm about ready to make a move. the gf has told me she'd prefer me to do it the old fashioned way and ask her dad. i only ever really talk to him when we have dinner or a family gathering type thing and it looks like we probably won't have one of those before i do the proposing thing.

how should i go about this?!

UPDATE:
asked the pop over lunch a few days ago....asked the future wife last night.......BOTH SAID YES.

now i'm gettin' married!

thanks for all your advice people

the wolf

two words

NUDIE BAR

The Juggler

the wolf wrote:

two words

NUDIE BAR

ya think?

jamminpearls

The Jeagler wrote:

...your wife's father for his permission to marry her?

does everyone still do this?

i'm at the point where i'm about ready to make a move. the gf has told me she'd prefer me to do it the old fashioned way and ask her dad. i only ever really talk to him when we have dinner or a family gathering type thing and it looks like we probably won't have one of those before i do the proposing thing.

how should i go about this?!

Congrats got married in september,best decesion i've made in my 29yrs so far. I'd say go out for a beer and while u let him beat u in a game of pool bingo.

jimed14

Word of advice, do it in person.

Do not text, do not e-mail.

Just ask him to have a beer some time and chat ... that's how I did it. Heck, my future father in law was more nervous than I was.

Ms. Wes C.addle

jimed14 wrote:

Word of advice, do it in person.

Do not text, do not e-mail.

Just ask him to have a beer some time and chat ... that's how I did it. Heck, my future father in law was more nervous than I was.

I was just about to chime in with the whole 'Dont you dare fucking text him' comment. Personal expirience :x

I would strongly suggest in person. Putting in a little more effort to do something so special means the world to a girl...

The Juggler

yeah definitely face to face. haha--who would text something like that? maybe i should facebook him?

i guess i was just hoping to do it a family function thing cuz i've never ever called him up and had a couple beers with him before. first time for everything i suppose.

another question---how soon did you guys do this before you actually proposed?

jimed14

The Jeagler wrote:

another question---how soon did you guys do this before you actually proposed?

Don't ask and then wait months to do it ... he'll start to wonder and possibly start asking questions.

I feel it should be a pretty quick turnaround between asking the dad and proposing, in case her family is horrible with secrets.

Or, does she already know and this is more for show?

Jearlpam0925

Dude, if you're serious about this, then just do it. Like ripping off a band aid. Get a hold of his number, ask him if he's free - or hell, just show up at their house - and do it. Tell him your plans, etc. etc. Just be forthright. I know a guy who drove all the way to Blacksburg, Va. just to do this very thing. It's definitely a good move on your part.

Congrats, by the way with all this. And good luck, man.

The Juggler

jimed14 wrote:

The Jeagler wrote:

another question---how soon did you guys do this before you actually proposed?

Don't ask and then wait months to do it ... he'll start to wonder and possibly start asking questions.

I feel it should be a pretty quick turnaround between asking the dad and proposing, in case her family is horrible with secrets.

Or, does she already know and this is more for show?

you're probably right. i'm thinking about asking sometime next month.

The Juggler

Jearlpam0925 wrote:

Dude, if you're serious about this, then just do it. Like ripping off a band aid. Get a hold of his number, ask him if he's free - or hell, just show up at their house - and do it. Tell him your plans, etc. etc. Just be forthright. I know a guy who drove all the way to Blacksburg, Va. just to do this very thing. It's definitely a good move on your part.

Congrats, by the way with all this. And good luck, man.

thanks

South of Seattle

The Jeagler wrote:

Jearlpam0925 wrote:

Dude, if you're serious about this, then just do it. Like ripping off a band aid. Get a hold of his number, ask him if he's free - or hell, just show up at their house - and do it. Tell him your plans, etc. etc. Just be forthright. I know a guy who drove all the way to Blacksburg, Va. just to do this very thing. It's definitely a good move on your part.

Congrats, by the way with all this. And good luck, man.

thanks

Congrats Dude. Just don't get too drunk with the new father in-law and blow it.

norm

The Jeagler wrote:

jimed14 wrote:

The Jeagler wrote:

another question---how soon did you guys do this before you actually proposed?

Don't ask and then wait months to do it ... he'll start to wonder and possibly start asking questions.

I feel it should be a pretty quick turnaround between asking the dad and proposing, in case her family is horrible with secrets.

Or, does she already know and this is more for show?

you're probably right. i'm thinking about asking sometime next month.

awww...a valentine's day proposal...what a romantic



as for the asking permission....one word...


STRIPPERGRAM!!!


you can thank me later


:wave:

the wolf

norm wrote:

awww...a valentine's day proposal...what a romantic



as for the asking permission....one word...


STRIPPERGRAM!!!


you can thank me later


:wave:

great minds ...... norm, great minds....

bmwweirdoguy

One of the hardest phone calls I've had to make, I barely knew my wife's parents at the time (having met them about 3 times) as they live in Connecticut and we're in Seattle. But I just sucked it up one afternoon after work, phoned their house, and her mom answered. She knew as soon as I said hello and asked if Jim was home...

Totally worth it, old school or not!

catefrances

holy shit jeags what are you gonna do if her father refuses you permission???

lukin2006

The Jeagler wrote:

...your wife's father for his permission to marry her?

does everyone still do this?

i'm at the point where i'm about ready to make a move. the gf has told me she'd prefer me to do it the old fashioned way and ask her dad. i only ever really talk to him when we have dinner or a family gathering type thing and it looks like we probably won't have one of those before i do the proposing thing.

how should i go about this?!

Congrats...been married almost 17 years, best decision I've made, we lived together for 2 years before that and spent the night before the wedding together, no bad luck . No advice though, I just asked my wife, honestly never realized people still asked their future father in laws. Good luck though.

Just wondering though...why are men nervous about asking their future father in law? and what if he says no? anyone know of anyone who had this happen and the outcome.

DinghyDog

-

whatsgoingon

I did it he said "no" then it was awkward...true story. We ended up getting married like 4 years later ( been married since April). I didn't ask him the second time.

dimitrispearljam

congrats man,i dont know how things works in the state,i m thinking just call him and do both out,here i would probably go for ouzo,we get drunk and tell him i wanna make his daughter happy

pearljgirl2010

congrats!!! the first time i got engaged, my ex and i decided to surprise everyone together...i'm the only girl in my family, and I thought it would be fun, but i'll never forget the look on my dad's face. i think he really wanted that old-fashioned way, so the next time, it'll be done right!

good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Black Diamond

First of all, a HUGE Mazel Tov for getting to this point in your life. Nothing better if you put all the little touches on it, including this step. I flew down to Norfolk, VA to meet up directly with her father eventhough it was pretty apparent that it was coming. Has paid dividends over the years because he always respected me for doing that. Nothing better than having her dad in your corner...

eyedclaar

Been married twice and never asked permission once. In fact, I make it a point to not ask permission in general. They have to respect me, even if they don't like me; I was raised by wolves and I'll bite anyone who pisses me off. They know that.

nuffingman

I didn't...... he's dead.

eyedclaar

nuffingman wrote:

I didn't...... he's dead.

Actually, for the second marriage, this was my case as well. Sometimes I think about the fact that I wear the same ring my wife's father was wearing when he died in a horrible cropdusting accident. I have a dead man's ring on my finger.

dunkman

South of Seattle wrote:

The Jeagler wrote:

Jearlpam0925 wrote:

Dude, if you're serious about this, then just do it. Like ripping off a band aid. Get a hold of his number, ask him if he's free - or hell, just show up at their house - and do it. Tell him your plans, etc. etc. Just be forthright. I know a guy who drove all the way to Blacksburg, Va. just to do this very thing. It's definitely a good move on your part.

Congrats, by the way with all this. And good luck, man.

thanks

Congrats Dude. Just don't get too drunk with the new father in-law and blow it.

blow what? and wouldnt that cause all manner of future embarrassments for them both... knowing that his future son-in-law was a proficient pink oboe player!!

:thumbup:

nuffingman

eyedclaar wrote:

nuffingman wrote:

I didn't...... he's dead.

Sometimes I think about the fact that I wear the same ring my wife's father was wearing when he died in a horrible cropdusting accident.

My mind is going into a spin. You couldn't make that up.

MrMerkinball

I didn't ask.

Our first date was a 3 day trip to vegas (long story)

He drove us to the airport, so I figured he wasn't too old fashioned.

Year's later he told me he was just trying to pawn her off on any taker. She was the third daughter...and he was tired of living with all those women, and wanted her out of the house.

eyedclaar

nuffingman wrote:

eyedclaar wrote:

nuffingman wrote:

I didn't...... he's dead.

Sometimes I think about the fact that I wear the same ring my wife's father was wearing when he died in a horrible cropdusting accident.

My mind is going into a spin. You couldn't make that up.

No. For once, I'm not making things up.

inlet13

Call up their house phone. In the call, arrange to stop by (by yourself of course). I did that part with my wife's mom. Women are smart, she'll know immediately why you are coming over and communicate that to her husband. Then stop by, and have a beer if offered, and just say that you want to marry their daughter. That's that.

Also, I had my wife's mom and dad there. Sometimes the mom wants to be there. But, obviously, the question should be mostly directed to the dad. Actually, I think it's easier with the mom there.

I was engaged twice... first time with my ex girl friend, I asked her Dad alone... next time, with my wife, I asked Dad and Mom. The first time, I went up to NY from Philly with my gf for Thanksgiving. While helping her dad outside with some yard work, I asked him there.... so, that's another way you could go about it. Most likely, the opportunity will present itself,.... but, I preferred the planned method.

Either way, your wife will be happy you made the effort and their family will most likely feel like you are a good stand-up dude.

Phantom Pain

The Jeagler wrote:

...your wife's father for his permission to marry her?

does everyone still do this?

i'm at the point where i'm about ready to make a move. the gf has told me she'd prefer me to do it the old fashioned way and ask her dad. i only ever really talk to him when we have dinner or a family gathering type thing and it looks like we probably won't have one of those before i do the proposing thing.

how should i go about this?!

Well...my Father-in-Law is not a hang in the bar have a beer type of guy

I called him and asked if he would be in at his Real Estate office

I drove over and asked for his permission and showed him the ring and everything and told him how I was going to propose to her

It was a little nerve racking but he was cool with everything