She is in love with another man

2

Comments

  • eyedclaareyedclaar Posts: 6,980
    petrocs wrote:
    petrocs wrote:
    You know what wolf..fuck her...thats what I have to say...FUCK HER..if she wants to go see if the grass is greener well then go..see ya..see if its greener...cause you know something..when she wakes the frig up from this new experience she'll realize you're not there anymore and she made a big fucking mistake..Im done sugar coating things in my life..and you shouldnt start..you love her..let her go fucking screw up..you cant save everyone..save the ones worth it.

    This is what Im living by now..

    People DO change...Love DOES conquer all and God WILL protect us from harm and failure whether its what we really want or not


    Take a deep breath. ;)

    Nope..no more deep breaths...just honest words..too many people walk all over good people just because they CAN...well they fucking well CANT

    Especially if you cover yourself with land mines.
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  • decides2dreamdecides2dream Posts: 14,977
    damn....


    wolf, it is obvious you have such a loving and generous heart.
    i am so sorry for your pain, wish you the best always....and may you find love again, in time...

    *hugs*
    Stay with me...
    Let's just breathe...


    I am myself like you somehow


  • cincybearcatcincybearcat Posts: 16,609
    petrocs wrote:
    petrocs wrote:
    You know what wolf..fuck her...thats what I have to say...FUCK HER..if she wants to go see if the grass is greener well then go..see ya..see if its greener...cause you know something..when she wakes the frig up from this new experience she'll realize you're not there anymore and she made a big fucking mistake..Im done sugar coating things in my life..and you shouldnt start..you love her..let her go fucking screw up..you cant save everyone..save the ones worth it.

    This is what Im living by now..

    People DO change...Love DOES conquer all and God WILL protect us from harm and failure whether its what we really want or not


    Take a deep breath. ;)

    Nope..no more deep breaths...just honest words..too many people walk all over good people just because they CAN...well they fucking well CANT

    Being this upset does not equal = you are over her and empowered. It means she still has you upset...you are allowing her to affect you and how you act. So, again, try to take a deep breath and take control.
    hippiemom = goodness
  • the wolfthe wolf Posts: 7,027
    damn....


    wolf, it is obvious you have such a loving and generous heart.
    i am so sorry for your pain, wish you the best always....and may you find love again, in time...

    *hugs*

    ya know. I'm not the easiest person to love and live with. I know that. there were things I could have done long ago and didn't to prevent this from happening.

    thank you.
    Peace, Love.


    "To question your government is not unpatriotic --
    to not question your government is unpatriotic."
    -- Sen. Chuck Hagel
  • PillowPantsPillowPants Posts: 4,877
    maybe you should all post dirty pics of your ex's

    then maybe you'll feel better?

    just a thought :mrgreen:
  • decides2dreamdecides2dream Posts: 14,977
    the wolf wrote:
    damn....


    wolf, it is obvious you have such a loving and generous heart.
    i am so sorry for your pain, wish you the best always....and may you find love again, in time...

    *hugs*

    ya know. I'm not the easiest person to love and live with. I know that. there were things I could have done long ago and didn't to prevent this from happening.

    thank you.



    who is?
    :|
    truly...


    and as a rather generous and wise-sounding guy recently told me, don't beat yourself up over the what-ifs. ;)
    seriously, i understand, but the old cliche...if it's meant to be, it will be.....it's true. my husband and i have traversed some pretty rocky roads over the course of our 20+ year relationship.....and we're still here. so yes, if it's meant to work out, it will.....in time. and if it's not, well then....just means there is other love and happiness for BOTH of you, tho separately.

    i really, truly feel for you my friend. it HURTS.
    Stay with me...
    Let's just breathe...


    I am myself like you somehow


  • dcfaithfuldcfaithful Posts: 13,076
    eyedclaar wrote:
    I still have my "other" job. Do you know what this new guy's name is... or where he lives?

    I've gotta Louisville Slugger with his name on it. ;) Just kidding

    In all seriousness wolf, I'm so sorry that you have to suffer through this. Sounds like you're being a good guy about it though by respecting, and even understanding her personal decision. While that doesn't make it any easier, the fact that you're able to understand and are brave enough to take it head on and just keep on truckin' shows so much about your character. I know my words may not be the most comforting, but I hope they help some how. I'm always willing to listen if you need to talk.
    7/2/06 - Denver, CO
    6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
    8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
    9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
    9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
    9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
  • the wolfthe wolf Posts: 7,027
    dcfaithful wrote:
    eyedclaar wrote:
    I still have my "other" job. Do you know what this new guy's name is... or where he lives?

    I've gotta Louisville Slugger with his name on it. ;) Just kidding

    In all seriousness wolf, I'm so sorry that you have to suffer through this. Sounds like you're being a good guy about it though by respecting, and even understanding her personal decision. While that doesn't make it any easier, the fact that you're able to understand and are brave enough to take it head on and just keep on truckin' shows so much about your character. I know my words may not be the most comforting, but I hope they help some how. I'm always willing to listen if you need to talk.

    thanks dc. I'm trying to be the best I can about it. I mean I do after all still love her and care so much about her. So all I can do is respect her decision. I told her before I knew about the other guy, that I would fight to keep this relationship. But I just don't want to be "that guy" getting in the way of what she wants. I love her.
    I want her to be happy, even if it's without me.
    She knows that if this turns out to be NOT what she wants in the long run, that I am open to fixing things. I have to believe and I mean really, REALLY BELIEVE that if we are meant to be together, it will happen.
    all I can do right now, is wake up and remind myself to breath, and hope and pray that things work out for the best, for both of us.
    I'm also sure that in the coming days that I will maybe not be so strong. That's why I'm glad I have this place.
    Peace, Love.


    "To question your government is not unpatriotic --
    to not question your government is unpatriotic."
    -- Sen. Chuck Hagel
  • decides2dreamdecides2dream Posts: 14,977
    the wolf wrote:

    thanks dc. I'm trying to be the best I can about it. I mean I do after all still love her and care so much about her. So all I can do is respect her decision. I told her before I knew about the other guy, that I would fight to keep this relationship. But I just don't want to be "that guy" getting in the way of what she wants. I love her.
    I want her to be happy, even if it's without me.
    She knows that if this turns out to be NOT what she wants in the long run, that I am open to fixing things.
    all I can do is wake up and remind myself to breath. And hope and pray that things work out for the best, for both of us.
    I'm also sure that in the coming days that I will maybe not be so strong. That's why I'm glad I have this place.



    you ARE...
    a totally, classy, loving and generous person.
    and yes....just breathe........
    :)
    Stay with me...
    Let's just breathe...


    I am myself like you somehow


  • dcfaithfuldcfaithful Posts: 13,076
    the wolf wrote:
    dcfaithful wrote:
    eyedclaar wrote:
    I still have my "other" job. Do you know what this new guy's name is... or where he lives?

    I've gotta Louisville Slugger with his name on it. ;) Just kidding

    In all seriousness wolf, I'm so sorry that you have to suffer through this. Sounds like you're being a good guy about it though by respecting, and even understanding her personal decision. While that doesn't make it any easier, the fact that you're able to understand and are brave enough to take it head on and just keep on truckin' shows so much about your character. I know my words may not be the most comforting, but I hope they help some how. I'm always willing to listen if you need to talk.

    thanks dc. I'm trying to be the best I can about it. I mean I do after all still love her and care so much about her. So all I can do is respect her decision. I told her before I knew about the other guy, that I would fight to keep this relationship. But I just don't want to be "that guy" getting in the way of what she wants. I love her.
    I want her to be happy, even if it's without me.
    She knows that if this turns out to be NOT what she wants in the long run, that I am open to fixing things. I have to believe and I mean really, REALLY BELIEVE that if we are meant to be together, it will happen.
    all I can do right now, is wake up and remind myself to breath, and hope and pray that things work out for the best, for both of us.
    I'm also sure that in the coming days that I will maybe not be so strong. That's why I'm glad I have this place.

    You're obviously a very honorable, and big-hearted man. You'll make it through this tough time, I'm sure of it :)
    7/2/06 - Denver, CO
    6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
    8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
    9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
    9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
    9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
  • ZiggyStarZiggyStar Posts: 14,328
    eyedclaar wrote:
    petrocs wrote:

    Nope..no more deep breaths...just honest words..too many people walk all over good people just because they CAN...well they fucking well CANT

    Especially if you cover yourself with land mines.

    LMAO! hahaha Ahhhh, I've missed you! :lol:
    ★ 1995 - Brisbane ★ 1998 - Brisbane ★ 2003 - Brisbane ★ 2006 - Brisbane ★
    ★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
    ★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
  • LizardjamLizardjam Posts: 1,121
    justam wrote:
    Wolf, I think sometimes people fall in love because what they really need is a way to change.

    It becomes a catalyst for their action, but it can also be just a way for them to justify doing something they already want to do. :geek:

    I guess my point is that she may have needed to end your relationship and this just allowed her to do it more easily.

    I'm so sorry you're feeling sad and missing her. People aren't always on the same page in relationships and it HURTS. :|


    I would agree here. I'm sorry for your pain. It's a horrible thing.

    I don't get the blameless part though. If my boyfriend came up to me and said he fell in love with someone else you bet your ass i'd place blame. I can't imagine falling in love with anyone but him. I could meet an amazing guy right now and I would say, damn he deserves a good woman. I wouldn't fall in love. I have my love. No one falls in love that is already in love and happy. If you're missing something and unhappy, then that door to fall in love with someone else opens. Too bad people don't always realize it and understand that they should have ended the current relationship long before that happens. I'm not on a soap box, i know the comfort of familiarity, I just can't imagine if someone I loved said they fell in love with someone else. There would be blame, and there would be the end. I wouldn't cherish anything. They were too coward to leave when they should have.
    bugs in the way...I feel about you

    "New music, new friends. Pearl Jam."

    I like our socks. I hear we make a fine sock. I always say, You might not love our records, but I think you'll like our socks. - Stone

    "This record is us speaking out in class." -EV on PJ
  • the wolfthe wolf Posts: 7,027
    Lizardjam wrote:
    justam wrote:
    Wolf, I think sometimes people fall in love because what they really need is a way to change.

    It becomes a catalyst for their action, but it can also be just a way for them to justify doing something they already want to do. :geek:

    I guess my point is that she may have needed to end your relationship and this just allowed her to do it more easily.

    I'm so sorry you're feeling sad and missing her. People aren't always on the same page in relationships and it HURTS. :|


    I would agree here. I'm sorry for your pain. It's a horrible thing.

    I don't get the blameless part though. If my boyfriend came up to me and said he fell in love with someone else you bet your ass i'd place blame. I can't imagine falling in love with anyone but him. I could meet an amazing guy right now and I would say, damn he deserves a good woman. I wouldn't fall in love. I have my love. No one falls in love that is already in love and happy. If you're missing something and unhappy, then that door to fall in love with someone else opens. Too bad people don't always realize it and understand that they should have ended the current relationship long before that happens. I'm not on a soap box, i know the comfort of familiarity, I just can't imagine if someone I loved said they fell in love with someone else. There would be blame, and there would be the end. I wouldn't cherish anything. They were too coward to leave when they should have.

    I don't know. I just can't be mad at her right now. Things were not great between us all the time, but I thought we would work through them.

    Some people are calling me classy, and honorable, and big hearted and I would like to think all that is true.

    I guess when it comes down to it, I wasn't always at my best with her and I know it. That old sang about hurting the ones you love, I would say that is pattern that I fell into. I'm not always a great guy, and there are many things that happened that never should have happened. A good friend told me today that I tend to act the shittest with the people I love and care about. Why ? Because I know they love me too, and I will be forgiven. But people can only take so much, and forgive so many times. If nothing else, I can say that I have learned a very much needed lesson from this. I know there are certain things you can say or do, and it can damage a person just as much as if , say you cheated on them and I despise people who cheat. but some things can hurt just as much.

    when it comes down to it, I fucked this up, and know it. She gave it her best for a loooong time.

    she put up with me dealing with anger issues, depression issues and alcohol issues for years.

    I guess that's why I can't really place much blame on her. Most people would have bailed a long time ago.
    she was still here trying when this happend.

    If I could change things I would, all I can do is hope that she will someday forgive me, and decide that we can try again.
    Peace, Love.


    "To question your government is not unpatriotic --
    to not question your government is unpatriotic."
    -- Sen. Chuck Hagel
  • LizardjamLizardjam Posts: 1,121
    the wolf wrote:

    I don't know. I just can't be mad at her right now. Things were not great between us all the time, but I thought we would work through them.

    Some people are calling me classy, and honorable, and big hearted and I would like to think all that is true.

    I guess when it comes down to it, I wasn't always at my best with her and I know it. That old sang about hurting the ones you love, I would say that is pattern that I fell into. I'm not always a great guy, and there are many things that happened that never should have happened. A good friend told me today that I tend to act the shittest with the people I love and care about. Why ? Because I know they love me too, and I will be forgiven. But people can only take so much, and forgive so many times. If nothing else, I can say that I have learned a very much needed lesson from this. I know there are certain things you can say or do, and it can damage a person just as much as if , say you cheated on them and I despise people who cheat. but some things can hurt just as much.

    when it comes down to it, I fucked this up, and know it. She gave it her best for a loooong time.

    she put up with me dealing with anger issues, depression issues and alcohol issues for years.

    I guess that's why I can't really place much blame on her. Most people would have bailed a long time ago.
    she was still here trying when this happend.

    If I could change things I would, all I can do is hope that she will someday forgive me, and decide that we can try again.


    Well, knowing a bit more like that, your feelings and reactions make a bit more sense to me(not that it helps you any but, you know what i mean). Maybe you needed this relationship to learn so when you find the one you're really meant to be with for the rest of your life, you'll already have learned this very important lesson and will not make the same mistakes. I know it feels like you just lost that one that you were meant to be with but if you didn't care and love her like you did, you never would have learned. Even though the pain won't go away except with time, no matter what anyone posts, try to remember that the one that is really meant for you is around the corner somewhere, and you'll only meet her if your eyes are open. :)
    bugs in the way...I feel about you

    "New music, new friends. Pearl Jam."

    I like our socks. I hear we make a fine sock. I always say, You might not love our records, but I think you'll like our socks. - Stone

    "This record is us speaking out in class." -EV on PJ
  • the wolfthe wolf Posts: 7,027
    I was doing so good. Staying strong and everything. Finally talked to her today, after I took the dog to the vet to let her know what is going on with that.

    I vented a little bit to her letting her know that the total lack of communication since she left is bullshit and at some point we have to sit down and figure out some things as far as the car, bills, and shit like that.

    I felt like a dick for doing so , so left a message to appologize.

    She texted saying no need to say sorry, and we would figure things out money wise. Basically without her income , I'm fucked.
    we texted back and forth a bit.

    afterwards I just lost it, sobbed for a minute. It was scaring the shit out of my dog so I pulled it back together. Now I just feel like an Idiot for losing it , and not staying strong.

    After my ex wife left in 2005 I felt like shit, but I didn't feel ..... alone.

    but as of today , I feel really , really alone for the first time in my life.

    I have a feeling this is going to start getting ugly for me, not sure I can deal with it.
    Peace, Love.


    "To question your government is not unpatriotic --
    to not question your government is unpatriotic."
    -- Sen. Chuck Hagel
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    the wolf wrote:
    I have a feeling this is going to start getting ugly for me, not sure I can deal with it.

    don't give up steve...the pain right now is unbearable but don't give into it...easy for me to say but don't let the pain and anger win because nothing good comes from that

    is there anyone you can talk to right now? anyone you can go hangout with? you probably shouldn't be alone right now
  • the wolfthe wolf Posts: 7,027
    norm wrote:
    the wolf wrote:
    I have a feeling this is going to start getting ugly for me, not sure I can deal with it.

    don't give up steve...the pain right now is unbearable but don't give into it...easy for me to say but don't let the pain and anger win because nothing good comes from that

    is there anyone you can talk to right now? anyone you can go hangout with? you probably shouldn't be alone right now

    there are people I can hangout with. I just kinda don't want to see anyone. I don't want to hear anyone say anything bad about her, because there is really nothing bad to be said. But people sometimes think that's what you want to hear.

    I'm just gonna hangout with my dog. She had a rough day too !! getting needles jabed in her and all.
    Peace, Love.


    "To question your government is not unpatriotic --
    to not question your government is unpatriotic."
    -- Sen. Chuck Hagel
  • decides2dreamdecides2dream Posts: 14,977
    :(
    what is there to say?



    *hugs*
    be sound.


    (and if you ever need to vent, i'm an ear)

    i do have to say tho, this:
    the wolf wrote:
    It was scaring the shit out of my dog so I pulled it back together.


    made me laugh, and also....identify. been there. even just yesterday.
    amazing how *sensitive* our animals are to us.
    Stay with me...
    Let's just breathe...


    I am myself like you somehow


  • eyedclaareyedclaar Posts: 6,980
    :(
    what is there to say?



    *hugs*
    be sound.


    (and if you ever need to vent, i'm an ear)

    i do have to say tho, this:
    the wolf wrote:
    It was scaring the shit out of my dog so I pulled it back together.


    made me laugh, and also....identify. been there. even just yesterday.
    amazing how *sensitive* our animals are to us.

    Even one of my cats tried to break up a play wrestling match between me and my wife. Poor thing looked so concerned.

    Wolf, there are no easy answers here. I'd probably open the end of my finger and use it to write poetry until I passed out from blood loss. But that's just me.
    Idaho's Premier Outdoor Writer

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  • LizardLizard So Cal Posts: 12,091
    {{{{The Wolf}}}}

    Take care---and cry more if you want to.
    So I'll just lie down and wait for the dream
    Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
  • the wolfthe wolf Posts: 7,027
    eyedclaar wrote:
    :(
    what is there to say?



    *hugs*
    be sound.


    (and if you ever need to vent, i'm an ear)

    i do have to say tho, this:
    the wolf wrote:
    It was scaring the shit out of my dog so I pulled it back together.


    made me laugh, and also....identify. been there. even just yesterday.
    amazing how *sensitive* our animals are to us.

    Even one of my cats tried to break up a play wrestling match between me and my wife. Poor thing looked so concerned.

    Wolf, there are no easy answers here. I'd probably open the end of my finger and use it to write poetry until I passed out from blood loss. But that's just me.

    I'm going into the studio to record next week I hope. If everything works out.

    that will give me something to do, and help me get some of this out.
    Peace, Love.


    "To question your government is not unpatriotic --
    to not question your government is unpatriotic."
    -- Sen. Chuck Hagel
  • mr.pinkmr.pink Posts: 362
    the wolf wrote:

    I'm going into the studio to record next week I hope. If everything works out.

    that will give me something to do, and help me get some of this out.

    That sounds like a good idea.
    Dude, I read your thread. One year ago, I was there. Totally, let down. But you gotta know that pretty soon you won't know why you even gave a such a shit at this time. I know its hard to believe, but what everybody says is true.
    Twenty-ten watch it go to fire!!!
  • the wolfthe wolf Posts: 7,027
    she just stopped by the house to get some clothes for the weekend. That was weird. She tried to make small talk, but....... well I failed in a really big way. lol.
    Peace, Love.


    "To question your government is not unpatriotic --
    to not question your government is unpatriotic."
    -- Sen. Chuck Hagel
  • the wolf wrote:
    she just stopped by the house to get some clothes for the weekend. That was weird. She tried to make small talk, but....... well I failed in a really big way. lol.
    hey man,tell the details,,what happen???your thoughts?
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
  • the wolfthe wolf Posts: 7,027
    the wolf wrote:
    she just stopped by the house to get some clothes for the weekend. That was weird. She tried to make small talk, but....... well I failed in a really big way. lol.
    hey man,tell the details,,what happen???your thoughts?

    she asked me how I thought the Bengals were going to do this weekend. I'm a huge Bengals fan but failed completly to say much about the game. lol

    when she left she hugged me and said she loves me. that was weird, never thought i would hear her say that to me again.

    she also said that her aunt and uncle said that i was more than welcome to come over and hangout with them.
    I must have looked at her like WTF? because she said "they still like you"

    it was just weird, but in some small way made me feel a bit better, but miss her even more.
    Peace, Love.


    "To question your government is not unpatriotic --
    to not question your government is unpatriotic."
    -- Sen. Chuck Hagel
  • mr.pinkmr.pink Posts: 362
    edited January 2010
    the wolf wrote:
    the wolf wrote:
    she just stopped by the house to get some clothes for the weekend. That was weird. She tried to make small talk, but....... well I failed in a really big way. lol.
    hey man,tell the details,,what happen???your thoughts?

    she asked me how I thought the Bengals were going to do this weekend. I'm a huge Bengals fan but failed completly to say much about the game. lol

    when she left she hugged me and said she loves me. that was weird, never thought i would hear her say that to me again.

    she also said that her aunt and uncle said that i was more than welcome to come over and hangout with them.
    I must have looked at her like WTF? because she said "they still like you"

    it was just weird, but in some small way made me feel a bit better, but miss her even more.

    Smart thing to do is let her go on and get the hell on. Cut the ties, don't hang with her fam - at least for a while, have nothing to do with this chick. I've read how down you are, nothing good will come of you hanging on. "made you feel a bit better, but miss her even more" - been there, its a waste of time. You're gonna hurt for a while, but the sooner you cut this chick out the sooner you'll be great again.
    Post edited by mr.pink on
    Twenty-ten watch it go to fire!!!
  • mfc2006mfc2006 HTOWN Posts: 37,484
    so sorry to read this news, Wolf. i wish i could offer some divine words of wisdom to make it all go away for ya..but all i can conjure up at the moment is to keep your head up & surround yourself with people that care about you. i know you want to be alone and all, but it might do you a little good to go see some friends. it will get better, man. keep your head up.
    I LOVE MUSIC.
    www.cluthelee.com
    www.cluthe.com
  • the wolf wrote:
    the wolf wrote:
    she just stopped by the house to get some clothes for the weekend. That was weird. She tried to make small talk, but....... well I failed in a really big way. lol.
    hey man,tell the details,,what happen???your thoughts?

    she asked me how I thought the Bengals were going to do this weekend. I'm a huge Bengals fan but failed completly to say much about the game. lol

    when she left she hugged me and said she loves me. that was weird, never thought i would hear her say that to me again.

    she also said that her aunt and uncle said that i was more than welcome to come over and hangout with them.
    I must have looked at her like WTF? because she said "they still like you"

    it was just weird, but in some small way made me feel a bit better, but miss her even more.
    uff man this is so taugh picture..but for her is difficult too..im pretty sure she is confused too and she shows to u respect man and u earn this...
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
  • pandorapandora Posts: 21,855
    Dimitris, you are very smart nice caring man
  • pandora wrote:
    Dimitris, you are very smart nice caring man
    and when this comes from your mouth has double value..thanks
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
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