Home› All Encompassing Trip

She is in love with another man

the wolfthe wolf Posts: 7,027
edited January 2010 in All Encompassing Trip
She told me tonight that she is in love with another man, and left.

I still love her, and think what we have/had is worth fighting for. Worth trying to save.

She don't though. I have not let myself cry yet. Maybe I'm out of tears from crying all week because she told me she wanted out, to be alone. She said she didn't know what she was going to do until tonight when she got home.

I'm not even angry with her for falling in love with someone else. I can't explain that.
I guess I just look at it as it's not her fault, she can't help it that she fell in love with him.

I'm worried about her though, I truly feel like she is making a mistake. She works with him and I don't know much about him, and have only met him once.

Right now all I feel is worry for her. I just feel like she is going to get hurt. She has experienced so many bad things in her 26 years. Hell, In many ways, I guess I'm part of those bad things now.

I feel foolish for thinking at my age that I could keep someone that much younger than me forever.

I want her to be happy. She deserves to be happy. She saved my life four years ago, and for that I will always love her.

I'll cherish these past four years until I die.

I just feel numb. Hollow. I feel like the shell of a man that I was when she came into my life.

God, I still love her so much.
Peace, Love.

"To question your government is not unpatriotic --
to not question your government is unpatriotic."
-- Sen. Chuck Hagel
Post edited by Unknown User on
«13

Comments

  • UpSideDownUpSideDown Posts: 1,966
    i feel for you man.........I am going through a very similar situation, just lost my girlfriend of five years and i absolutely loved her. Seems like there is too much heartbreak on this board lately.

    Go throw on Ben Harper & relentless 7 - faithfully remain. Once the shock of it all wears off, the tears will come back again.
  • ZiggyStarZiggyStar Posts: 14,328
    edited January 2010
    :cry:

    If you don't mind me asking, what's the age difference?

    And you know what....you're right....she can't help that she fell in love (assuming it is love and not lust). This just happened to someone I know. Been with their partner for many many years and fell in love with someone else. Out of the blue, met someone and BANG....head over heels. Same thing happened to the person she fell in love with. He's been with his partner for many years too and is happy but met my friend and instantly fell in love. They both still love their current partners --- but they truly love each other. Nothing will ever happen though because he has kids and they're both not foolish enough to break up a family. Anyway, I guess there was no point to all that except to say I'm glad you understand that she probably couldn't help it and that you're not blaming her (assuming she really is in love).

    Love -- can be so great but so fucking shit at the same time. :|
    Post edited by ZiggyStar on
    ★ 1995 - Brisbane ★ 1998 - Brisbane ★ 2003 - Brisbane ★ 2006 - Brisbane ★
    ★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
    ★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
  • mookeywrenchmookeywrench Posts: 5,962
    edited January 2010
    Don't know else to say other than it sucks but time will get ya through it.
    Post edited by mookeywrench on
    350x700px-LL-d2f49cb4_vinyl-needle-scu-e1356666258495.jpeg
  • the wolfthe wolf Posts: 7,027
    ZiggyStar wrote:
    :cry:

    If you don't mind me asking, what's the age difference?

    I turned 37 this past August, and she will be 26 next month. she is very mature, and at times I'm not so mature, so it never was a big deal.

    same age difference as my mom and dad. that always gave me comfort.
    Peace, Love.

    "To question your government is not unpatriotic --
    to not question your government is unpatriotic."
    -- Sen. Chuck Hagel
  • keeponrockinkeeponrockin Posts: 7,446
    I'm sorry dude, I can't really say much else.
    Believe me, when I was growin up, I thought the worst thing you could turn out to be was normal, So I say freaks in the most complementary way. Here's a song by a fellow freak - E.V
  • OffHeGoes29OffHeGoes29 Posts: 1,240
    I think the older I get the biggest thing that sticks out in my mind about life is that we have absolutly Zero control over everything but ourselves.

    Sorry to hear about her, but there was absolutly nothing you can do about her choice to leave.

    Hang in there.
    BRING BACK THE WHALE
  • FifthelementFifthelement Lotusland Posts: 6,963
    I'm so sorry :cry: (((Hugs)))


    Seems like there are a lot of people lately who feel the need to change their situation. I'm sorry that you are on the receiving end of this drastic change.


    As I said in a similar thread - Hold on to the thread . . . The currents will shift
    "What the CANUCK happened?!? - Esquimalt Barber Shop
  • the wolfthe wolf Posts: 7,027
    Thanks everybody. I don't even understand what I'm feeling right now. I actually feel as close to nothing as possible.

    when the ex-wife and I split, I felt angry, sad, depressed, hurt.

    there is something different here. I feel........ nothing.

    like I said earlier, I'm worried about her. Last night I was worried that she might be sleeping in the car or something, because she said she wasn't going to go to his place.

    I just needed to know she was someplace safe, and warm and not sleeping in the car. So I texted her. She said she was okay and not to worry and she would be coming back to our house in the morning.

    Any other time it would have drove me nuts wondering where she was, but it didn't. I assume she was with him, even though she said she wasn't going there.

    Once I knew she was safe, I just tried to go to sleep.

    This just feels......... strange.
    Peace, Love.

    "To question your government is not unpatriotic --
    to not question your government is unpatriotic."
    -- Sen. Chuck Hagel
  • ClaireackClaireack Posts: 13,561
    Oh wolf, I'm so sorry, just wanted to send you a {{hug}}
    <a href="http://s952.photobucket.com/albums/ae8/catkinson_2009/?action=view&current=domo.jpg&quot; target="_blank"><img src="http://i952.photobucket.com/albums/ae8/catkinson_2009/domo.jpg&quot; border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>
  • pjtradekingpjtradeking Posts: 4,045
    edited January 2010
    I split with my wife back in August, and do have some idea what you are going through. Doesnt matter the situation, when you love someone it hurts. You are going to have good days and bad for sure. There will be days when you think you are ok and then BOOM!! TEARS!! MAD!! SAD!! CONFUSED!! RELIEF!! UNCERTAINTY!! It is not something you can control, understand, nor fix, it just happens. All the feelings and everything that goes along with it are normal, even the numb you feel right now. Just know, that you WILL be ok eventually! It sucks, and while I dont know you and you dont know me, my pm box is always open! :-)
    Post edited by pjtradeking on
    Never, ever, flipping forget
    "Free Shipping" SPEEDY MCCREADY

    My friend was going to see Eddie last night. Since he was in Vegas, I gave him 5 Grand to gamble with. I told him I wanted it all to go on Black. Bastard! PhillyCrownOfThorns-11-2-12
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,412
    Wolf, I think sometimes people fall in love because what they really need is a way to change.

    It becomes a catalyst for their action, but it can also be just a way for them to justify doing something they already want to do. :geek:

    I guess my point is that she may have needed to end your relationship and this just allowed her to do it more easily.

    I'm so sorry you're feeling sad and missing her. People aren't always on the same page in relationships and it HURTS. :|
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • Black DiamondBlack Diamond Posts: 25,107
    Wow, I'm so sorry this happened to you ...
    Don't feel weird about the tears. Sometimes the numbness replaces it. My dad, who was my best friend in the world, died 27 years ago and I still have not cried about it. I've cried in movies, over a girl, etc. etc. but never have shed a tear about the man I loved the most. It's weird the way your mind works at dramatic moments of your life.
    GoiMTvP.gif
  • dimitrispearljamdimitrispearljam Posts: 139,721
    so sorry wolf about that..
    after read your story,once again i say Black is the best song written in history of music..we ALL will be there,we ALL have been there..in this..love someone cant be with him/her and we are so brave to wish her/him good luck,wish the best,and the same time so lonely,so wick to want to be with her/his..fuck..i hope u get your way man..time is the only that knows how to make u feel better..
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
  • eyedclaareyedclaar Posts: 6,980
    I still have my "other" job. Do you know what this new guy's name is... or where he lives?
    Idaho's Premier Outdoor Writer

    Please Support My Writing Habit By Purchasing A Book:

    https://www.createspace.com/3437020

    http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000663025696

    http://earthtremors.blogspot.com/
  • dimitrispearljamdimitrispearljam Posts: 139,721
    the wolf wrote:
    I feel........ nothing.
    .
    this fuckin feeling..hurts so much...
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
  • inlet13inlet13 Posts: 1,979
    the wolf wrote:
    She told me tonight that she is in love with another man, and left.

    I still love her, and think what we have/had is worth fighting for. Worth trying to save.

    She don't though. I have not let myself cry yet. Maybe I'm out of tears from crying all week because she told me she wanted out, to be alone. She said she didn't know what she was going to do until tonight when she got home.

    I'm not even angry with her for falling in love with someone else. I can't explain that.
    I guess I just look at it as it's not her fault, she can't help it that she fell in love with him.

    I'm worried about her though, I truly feel like she is making a mistake. She works with him and I don't know much about him, and have only met him once.

    Right now all I feel is worry for her. I just feel like she is going to get hurt. She has experienced so many bad things in her 26 years. Hell, In many ways, I guess I'm part of those bad things now.

    I feel foolish for thinking at my age that I could keep someone that much younger than me forever.

    I want her to be happy. She deserves to be happy. She saved my life four years ago, and for that I will always love her.

    I'll cherish these past four years until I die.

    I just feel numb. Hollow. I feel like the shell of a man that I was when she came into my life.

    God, I still love her so much.

    First, sorry about this.

    But bro, two words for you... move on. If she comes back, so be it. But, for now, she said she loves someone else. That most likely means she loves that someone 'more' than you, and may even mean she doesn't love you at all anymore. Which totally blows, but it's not the end of the world. You don't need to hate her, but you should atleast feel some distaste for her choosing someone over you. You deserve to feel some distaste. The way you wrote this, with the lines that appear to be saying you don't deserve her ect.,... I'm much more worried about you than about her. Stop worrying about her... start worrying about you.

    In order to do that, my advice is to stop being so self deprecating... in fact, not to be harsh, but if that was the case beforehand that might be what drove her away. You deserve to be treated better. You can and will be treated better if you want to... maybe even by her (in the future). But for now, let go of your past with her and concentrate on making you happy. I think you should make a conscious decision to search for that person who will treat you well now, and in the meantime, pick up your spirits by acknowledging that you've been putting yourself down a bit too much and you need to start picking yourself up. From the sounds of this, you deserve to be treated better.
    Here's a new demo called "in the fire":

    <object height="81" width="100%"> <param name="movie" value="https://player.soundcloud.com/player.swf?url=http://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/28998869&quot;&gt;&lt;/param&gt; <param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param> <embed allowscriptaccess="always" height="81" src="https://player.soundcloud.com/player.swf?url=http://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/28998869&quot; type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="100%"></embed> </object> <span><a href=" - In the Fire (demo)</a> by <a href="
  • the wolfthe wolf Posts: 7,027
    inlet13 wrote:
    the wolf wrote:
    She told me tonight that she is in love with another man, and left.

    I still love her, and think what we have/had is worth fighting for. Worth trying to save.

    She don't though. I have not let myself cry yet. Maybe I'm out of tears from crying all week because she told me she wanted out, to be alone. She said she didn't know what she was going to do until tonight when she got home.

    I'm not even angry with her for falling in love with someone else. I can't explain that.
    I guess I just look at it as it's not her fault, she can't help it that she fell in love with him.

    I'm worried about her though, I truly feel like she is making a mistake. She works with him and I don't know much about him, and have only met him once.

    Right now all I feel is worry for her. I just feel like she is going to get hurt. She has experienced so many bad things in her 26 years. Hell, In many ways, I guess I'm part of those bad things now.

    I feel foolish for thinking at my age that I could keep someone that much younger than me forever.

    I want her to be happy. She deserves to be happy. She saved my life four years ago, and for that I will always love her.

    I'll cherish these past four years until I die.

    I just feel numb. Hollow. I feel like the shell of a man that I was when she came into my life.

    God, I still love her so much.

    First, sorry about this.

    But bro, two words for you... move on. If she comes back, so be it. But, for now, she said she loves someone else. That most likely means she loves that someone 'more' than you, and may even mean she doesn't love you at all anymore. Which totally blows, but it's not the end of the world. You don't need to hate her, but you should atleast feel some distaste for her choosing someone over you. You deserve to feel some distaste. The way you wrote this, with the lines that appear to be saying you don't deserve her ect.,... I'm much more worried about you than about her. Stop worrying about her... start worrying about you.

    In order to do that, my advice is to stop being so self deprecating... in fact, not to be harsh, but if that was the case beforehand that might be what drove her away. You deserve to be treated better. You can and will be treated better if you want to... maybe even by her (in the future). But for now, let go of your past with her and concentrate on making you happy. I think you should make a conscious decision to search for that person who will treat you well now, and in the meantime, pick up your spirits by acknowledging that you've been putting yourself down a bit too much and you need to start picking yourself up. From the sounds of this, you deserve to be treated better.

    I agree, I do need to think of myself now. But, the one thing I would like to stress, is that she always treated me well. I can't say a bad thing about her when it comes it to that. In fact, I can't really say a bad thing about her at all. Maybe thats what makes it so strange to me. That was not the case when the ex-wife and I split. I had plenty of bad things to say about her. You are right about her probably loving him more than me, I seriously doubt she still loves me. She said she did, but I really doubt it. So I appreciate your words and what you are saying, but as far as me deserving to be treated better ... ? It would be hard to imagine someone treating me better than she did. I guess, I should have realized that a long time ago, and just maybe, I wouldn't be in this sitiuation now.

    You are right about needing to move on .... if she figures out that she made the wrong move, she knows deep down that I would still be willing to try and work on things.

    Thanks again.
    Peace, Love.

    "To question your government is not unpatriotic --
    to not question your government is unpatriotic."
    -- Sen. Chuck Hagel
  • pandorapandora Posts: 21,855
    I'm sorry Wolf
    you are man full of love to give
    some lucky lady someday will need that love
    and you will be there to give her just what she needs
    each time a heart breaks it mends stronger-
    its a tough journey, but one with a happy ending
  • pearljgirl2010pearljgirl2010 Shillington, PA/Tuckerton, NJ Posts: 3,428
    pjtradeking wrote:
    I split with my wife back in August, and do have some idea what you are going through. Doesnt matter the situation, when you love someone it hurts. You are going to have good days and bad for sure. There will be days when you think you are ok and then BOOM!! TEARS!! MAD!! SAD!! CONFUSED!! RELIEF!! UNCERTAINTY!! It is not something you can control, understand, nor fix, it just happens. All the feelings and everything that goes along with it are normal, even the numb you feel right now. Just know, that you WILL be ok eventually! It sucks, and while I dont know you and you dont know me, my pm box is always open! :-)


    this is soooooo true....I couldn't have said it better myself. Just take one day at a time and you will be ok.
    Need a tour Travel Agent??? Pick me :-)

    Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
  • libragirllibragirl Posts: 4,632
    I'm really sorry :cry:
    These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
  • intodeepintodeep Posts: 7,240
    I'm sorry man. That sucks. I don't have any good advice though.... :(
    Charlotte 00
    Charlotte 03
    Asheville 04
    Atlanta 12
    Greenville 16, Columbia 16
    Seattle 18 
    Nashville 22
    Ohana Festival 24 x2
  • chiquimonkeychiquimonkey Posts: 9,337
    i am so sorry :( there isn't more i can add to what others have shared, but just wanted to throw some support and care in the mix. be sound.
  • petrocspetrocs Posts: 4,342
    Wtf! Is there something in the tampons! wtf is going on this month!

    Love ya man...stay strong with me ok? you and I are going to get through this fucked up time
    Shows:
    9/24/96 MD. 9/28/96 Randalls. 8/28-29/98 Camden. 9/8/98 NJ. 9/18/98 MD. 9/1-2/00 Camden. 9/4/00 MD. 4/28/03 Philly. 7/5-6/03 Camden. 9/30/05 AC.
    10/3/05 Philly. 5/27-28/06 Camden. 6/23/06 Pitt. 6/19-20/08 Camden. 6/24/08 MSG. 8/7/08 EV Newark, NJ. 6/11-12/09 EV Philly, PA. 10/27-28-30-31/09 Philly, PA., 5/15/10 Hartford,5/17/10 Boston, 5/18/10 Newark, 5/20-21/10 MSG
  • Sian-of-the-deadSian-of-the-dead Posts: 8,963
    I'm so sorry :(

    There just aren't words that could even slightly help the emptiness and confusion you must be feeling about now.

    Try to stay strong.
    Been to this many PJ shows: Reading 2006 London 2007 Manchester & London 2009 Dublin, Belfast, London, Nijmegen & Berlin 2010 Manchester 1 & Manchester 2 2012...

    ... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
  • LizardLizard So Cal Posts: 12,091
    Sorry you're hurting Wolf (and Petrocs).

    Hope things look brighter soon.
    So I'll just lie down and wait for the dream
    Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    I'm sorry to hear this my friend...hang in there
  • the wolfthe wolf Posts: 7,027
    thanks again to everyone.

    it probably don't seem like much to most of you, but your words mean a shit-ton to me.

    -steve
    Peace, Love.

    "To question your government is not unpatriotic --
    to not question your government is unpatriotic."
    -- Sen. Chuck Hagel
  • petrocspetrocs Posts: 4,342
    You know what wolf..fuck her...thats what I have to say...FUCK HER..if she wants to go see if the grass is greener well then go..see ya..see if its greener...cause you know something..when she wakes the frig up from this new experience she'll realize you're not there anymore and she made a big fucking mistake..Im done sugar coating things in my life..and you shouldnt start..you love her..let her go fucking screw up..you cant save everyone..save the ones worth it.

    This is what Im living by now..

    People DO change...Love DOES conquer all and God WILL protect us from harm and failure whether its what we really want or not
    Shows:
    9/24/96 MD. 9/28/96 Randalls. 8/28-29/98 Camden. 9/8/98 NJ. 9/18/98 MD. 9/1-2/00 Camden. 9/4/00 MD. 4/28/03 Philly. 7/5-6/03 Camden. 9/30/05 AC.
    10/3/05 Philly. 5/27-28/06 Camden. 6/23/06 Pitt. 6/19-20/08 Camden. 6/24/08 MSG. 8/7/08 EV Newark, NJ. 6/11-12/09 EV Philly, PA. 10/27-28-30-31/09 Philly, PA., 5/15/10 Hartford,5/17/10 Boston, 5/18/10 Newark, 5/20-21/10 MSG
  • cincybearcatcincybearcat Posts: 16,609
    petrocs wrote:
    You know what wolf..fuck her...thats what I have to say...FUCK HER..if she wants to go see if the grass is greener well then go..see ya..see if its greener...cause you know something..when she wakes the frig up from this new experience she'll realize you're not there anymore and she made a big fucking mistake..Im done sugar coating things in my life..and you shouldnt start..you love her..let her go fucking screw up..you cant save everyone..save the ones worth it.

    This is what Im living by now..

    People DO change...Love DOES conquer all and God WILL protect us from harm and failure whether its what we really want or not


    Take a deep breath. ;)
    hippiemom = goodness
  • petrocspetrocs Posts: 4,342
    cincybearcat wrote:
    petrocs wrote:
    You know what wolf..fuck her...thats what I have to say...FUCK HER..if she wants to go see if the grass is greener well then go..see ya..see if its greener...cause you know something..when she wakes the frig up from this new experience she'll realize you're not there anymore and she made a big fucking mistake..Im done sugar coating things in my life..and you shouldnt start..you love her..let her go fucking screw up..you cant save everyone..save the ones worth it.

    This is what Im living by now..

    People DO change...Love DOES conquer all and God WILL protect us from harm and failure whether its what we really want or not


    Take a deep breath. ;)

    Nope..no more deep breaths...just honest words..too many people walk all over good people just because they CAN...well they fucking well CANT
    Shows:
    9/24/96 MD. 9/28/96 Randalls. 8/28-29/98 Camden. 9/8/98 NJ. 9/18/98 MD. 9/1-2/00 Camden. 9/4/00 MD. 4/28/03 Philly. 7/5-6/03 Camden. 9/30/05 AC.
    10/3/05 Philly. 5/27-28/06 Camden. 6/23/06 Pitt. 6/19-20/08 Camden. 6/24/08 MSG. 8/7/08 EV Newark, NJ. 6/11-12/09 EV Philly, PA. 10/27-28-30-31/09 Philly, PA., 5/15/10 Hartford,5/17/10 Boston, 5/18/10 Newark, 5/20-21/10 MSG
Sign In or Register to comment.