Simpsons quotes!
tcaporale
Posts: 1,577
Some of my favorites:
Lionel Hutz: Well, he’s kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace “accidentally” with “repeatedly” and replace “dog” with “son.”
Homer: I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman.
Chief Wiggum: Can’t you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can’t be policing the entire city!
Chief Wiggum: Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1…2.
Reverend Lovejoy: Marge, just about everything’s a sin. [holds up a Bible] Y’ever sat down and read this thing? Technically we’re not supposed to go to the bathroom.
Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
Mr. Burns: I’ll keep it short and sweet — Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.
Kent Brockman: …And the fluffy kitten played with that ball of string all through the night. On a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brutally murdered last night.
Mr. Burns: I don’t like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing, there’s too many fat children.
Krusty the Clown: And now, in the spirit of the season: start shopping. And for every dollar of Krusty merchandise you buy, I will be nice to a sick kid. For legal purposes, sick kids may include hookers with a cold.
Lionel Hutz: Well, he’s kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace “accidentally” with “repeatedly” and replace “dog” with “son.”
Homer: I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman.
Chief Wiggum: Can’t you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can’t be policing the entire city!
Chief Wiggum: Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1…2.
Reverend Lovejoy: Marge, just about everything’s a sin. [holds up a Bible] Y’ever sat down and read this thing? Technically we’re not supposed to go to the bathroom.
Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
Mr. Burns: I’ll keep it short and sweet — Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.
Kent Brockman: …And the fluffy kitten played with that ball of string all through the night. On a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brutally murdered last night.
Mr. Burns: I don’t like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing, there’s too many fat children.
Krusty the Clown: And now, in the spirit of the season: start shopping. And for every dollar of Krusty merchandise you buy, I will be nice to a sick kid. For legal purposes, sick kids may include hookers with a cold.
Post edited by Unknown User on
0
Comments
Pearl Jam bootlegs:
http://wegotshit.blogspot.com
That's not America! That's not even Mexico! - homer
Ralph: Hi, Lisa! Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers! (he types "cat," which prompts a "meow" sound from the computer) I'm learn-ding.
bart: it's hard for us to leave when you are standing there mom.
homer: push her down son!
Ralph: Me fail English? That's unpossible.
10/31/09- Philly
5/21/10- NYC
9/2/12- Philly, PA
7/19/13- Wrigley
10/19/13- Brooklyn, NY
10/21/13- Philly, PA
10/22/13- Philly, PA
10/27/13- Baltimore, MD
4/28/16- Philly, PA
4/29/16- Philly, PA
5/1/16- NYC
5/2/16- NYC
9/2/18- Boston, MA
9/4/18- Boston, MA
9/14/22- Camden, NJ
9/7/24- Philly, PA
9/9/24- Philly, PA
Eddie Vedder- 6/25/11- Philly, PA
RNDM- 3/9/16- Philly, PA
Ned: *Sigh*, sure Homer. (Turning to his kids) Boys, looks like we're having Imagination Christmas again this year...
Rod &Tod: Yay!! Imagination Christmas!
Rod: (Swirling his hips) I've got a hula hoop!
Tod: (Making a steering motion, running in circles) I've got a go-kart!
Best. Night. Ever.
Bart: (Mumbling about something, I forget) This is gay...
Tod: What's gay mean?
Bart: (With a sly look) It's when you USED to be afraid of something, but you aren't anymore...
Tod: (Yelling to Ned) Daddy! Daddy! I'm gay! I used to be afraid, but Mrs. Simpson made me gay!
(Ned glares at Marge)
Flanders' hardcore Christianity is the source of A LOT of funny stuff on that show.
Best. Night. Ever.
YOUCAN DANCE!!
EVERYBODY LOOK AT YOUR PANTS!!!
Tweeter Center - Jul 02, 2003
Tweeter Center - Jul 03, 2003
Tweeter Center - Jul 11, 2003
Fleet Center - Sep 28, 2004
Dodge Music Center - Jun 27, 2008
Tweeter Center - Jun 28, 2008
Tweeter Center - Jun 30, 2008
ALL FOUR 09 PHILLY SHOWS!!
Too bad they have sucked for far too long. My god, it's bad anymore.
Homer: If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You go in every day and do it really half ass. That's the American way.
"Holy smokes, you need Booze!"
"Can't sleep, clown will eat me"
Marge: Of course I saved them. Well, actually, there's only one. It's more of a love postcard from some brewery he visited.
Homer: Maybe it's the beer talking Marge, but you've got a butt that won't quit. They've got these big chewy pretzels here... (undecipherable slurring) ...Five dollars?! Get outta here!
Bart: Wow, the side of Dad I've never seen.
Bart(clapping one hand): Like this?
Lisa: Its a metaphor, you cant clap with one hand.
Bart(clapping one hand): Yeah you can, it sounds like this...(thud thud)....Do you hear it?
Homer: How was jerk practice, boy? Did they teach you how to sing to trees and build crappy furniture out of useless wooden logs? Huh?
(chair collapses)
Homer: D'oh! Stupid poetic justice.
Bart: Actually, we were just planning the Father/Son river rafting trip.
Homer: Hee, hee, hee - you don't have a Son.
Chief Wiggum: I keep telling you lady, your father and son have to be missing for a week before we can start searching. I'd like to help sooner, I would, but we're very very busy down here!
(puts phone down and plays checkers with dog)
Chief Wiggum: King me.
Marge: Homer, I have to go out to pick up something for dinner.
Homer: Steak?
Marge: Money's too tight for steak.
Homer: Steak?
Marge: Eh, sure... steak.
Can't quite remember lisa's tap teacher, treating everyone as equal is what children? Childen reply commusism
teacher, that right kids and I did not go up agaist the reds.......i can't remember all her rant aboout the reds
Homer(to Lisa) - You have to push those angry feelings down until they explode in a violent rage, like when daddy smashed the whiskey bottle on the referees head. You remember that? (in a baby voice) When daddy smashed the bottle? Yeah? Yeah.
Moe (reminiscing about being a boxer) - Yeah back then everyone wanted a piece of me. I was known as Kid Gorgeous, then Kid Presentable and finally, Kid Moe.
Moe - No wait! If Uncle Moe yells at you, you get a free steak...fish.
victory is not the main thing in sport. main thing is to get drunk
kids are our future. that's why we must stop them now!
(dunno if I translated them right way from russian)
Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
Nelson: gotta nuke somethin
Lisa: touche
Belle: Mr. Simpson, are you wearing a grocery bag?
Homer: I have misplaced my pants.
FLLLAAAANDERS!!!!
WHAT WHAT WHAT!!!
GAMES OUT THERE!!!
Homer throws the beer can and hits Ned
DAD!! That was really mean!!
I know Honey, and I got him right in the head too!!
The hockey episode when Homer lets Lisa sit in the front seat
SUCKER!!COMPETITIVE VIOLENT!! THATS WHY YOUR HERE!!
And of course "The cuts"
and
i think in itchy + scratchy land episidoe on the way to the place they take a helicoptor
pilot: welcome to the place where nothing can possiblye go wrong....uh, possibly go wrong....thats the first time anything has gone wrong
Smithers covering Devo..sort of: "Crack that whip.....LIC-O-RICE whip!"
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2