How the hell do you get out of the friend zone?

norm

scb wrote:

They also try to turn everything into a joke, especially when they don't know what to say or don't feel comfortable having a conversation with any depth. Sometimes a joke says, "Hi, I'm rhcpjam1029 and I want to talk to you but have absolutely nothing of substance to say." As an opener, it can be like just another obvious pick-up line. And then what are you going to say after the joke's done?

well hopefully she will help in the conversation

ya know, since men still, by and large, have to initiate conversations with women we are left to make pickup lines or jokes...so when we do, have a little sympathy and politely laugh and indicate if you are interested to talk to us...and if you aren't, nicely let us know so we don't continue to make an ass of ourselves

Claireack

i_lov_it wrote:

Because Girls DON'T like *****~~~NICE GUYS~~~*****

No we don't like them, we love them!! I married a nice guy

mca47

Yeah, I suppose the fastest way out of it is to to out with her and the two of you get good and loaded. Make a move and if she's weirded out maybe she won't remember. If she's not...then YOU'RE IN!



Alcohol solves everything!

JordyWordy

some of you are getting into generalities about "nice guys".....its not relevant. It simply isnt. what matters is that the OP wants this to be a physical relationship. The OP sounds like a good bloke. He deserves good advice.

In this case, i dont see what possible good it could do you to stay friends as you are if you're not totally happy with it. Make a move, say it to her, see what happens. You just need to use your stones.

The girls who are advising you to wait/stay friends with her are, simply put, giving you bad advice. It's not fair to sit and silently suffer, not fair on you, and not fair on her. It's healthy to be up front with people, Whether its rejecting them or saying "i just want sex, and no commitment". Just go get whatever you want. life is short.

She may say no, and that would be shit.
She may say yes..?

Personally i went through this bullshit a few years ago, any guy that did will tell u the same.
If she says no then make sure you go out, meet some girls, go on a few dates, get some sex, whatever. its good for you, your ego, your sex life. And no, not all girls need booze.

And if she says yes, all the better.

_

JordyWordy wrote:

some of you are getting into generalities about "nice guys".....its not relevant. It simply isnt. what matters is that the OP wants this to be a physical relationship. The OP sounds like a good bloke. He deserves good advice.

In this case, i dont see what possible good it could do you to stay friends as you are if you're not totally happy with it. Make a move, say it to her, see what happens. You just need to use your stones.

The girls who are advising you to wait/stay friends with her are, simply put, giving you bad advice. It's not fair to sit and silently suffer, not fair on you, and not fair on her. It's healthy to be up front with people, Whether its rejecting them or saying "i just want sex, and no commitment". Just go get whatever you want. life is short.

She may say no, and that would be shit.
She may say yes..?

Personally i went through this bullshit a few years ago, any guy that did will tell u the same.
If she says no then make sure you go out, meet some girls, go on a few dates, get some sex, whatever. its good for you, your ego, your sex life. And no, not all girls need booze.

And if she says yes, all the better.

rhcpjam1029 wrote:

this is a more of a question for girls to answer...

Gary Carter

norm wrote:

scb wrote:

They also try to turn everything into a joke, especially when they don't know what to say or don't feel comfortable having a conversation with any depth. Sometimes a joke says, "Hi, I'm rhcpjam1029 and I want to talk to you but have absolutely nothing of substance to say." As an opener, it can be like just another obvious pick-up line. And then what are you going to say after the joke's done?

well hopefully she will help in the conversation

ya know, since men still, by and large, have to initiate conversations with women we are left to make pickup lines or jokes...so when we do, have a little sympathy and politely laugh and indicate if you are interested to talk to us...and if you aren't, nicely let us know so we don't continue to make an ass of ourselves

+1

JordyWordy

scb wrote:

rhcpjam1029 wrote:

this is a more of a question for girls to answer...

Damn, it's happened again!!

_

norm wrote:

scb wrote:

They also try to turn everything into a joke, especially when they don't know what to say or don't feel comfortable having a conversation with any depth. Sometimes a joke says, "Hi, I'm rhcpjam1029 and I want to talk to you but have absolutely nothing of substance to say." As an opener, it can be like just another obvious pick-up line. And then what are you going to say after the joke's done?

well hopefully she will help in the conversation

ya know, since men still, by and large, have to initiate conversations with women we are left to make pickup lines or jokes...so when we do, have a little sympathy and politely laugh and indicate if you are interested to talk to us...and if you aren't, nicely let us know so we don't continue to make an ass of ourselves

I do have sympathy/empathy and I'm always polite (sometimes too polite). And I don't think guys who are sincere are making asses out of themselves. I know guys have it hard... I feel for ya.

_

JordyWordy wrote:

some of you are getting into generalities about "nice guys".....its not relevant. It simply isnt. what matters is that the OP wants this to be a physical relationship. The OP sounds like a good bloke. He deserves good advice.

In this case, i dont see what possible good it could do you to stay friends as you are if you're not totally happy with it. Make a move, say it to her, see what happens. You just need to use your stones.

The girls who are advising you to wait/stay friends with her are, simply put, giving you bad advice. It's not fair to sit and silently suffer, not fair on you, and not fair on her. It's healthy to be up front with people, Whether its rejecting them or saying "i just want sex, and no commitment". Just go get whatever you want. life is short.

She may say no, and that would be shit.
She may say yes..?

Personally i went through this bullshit a few years ago, any guy that did will tell u the same.
If she says no then make sure you go out, meet some girls, go on a few dates, get some sex, whatever. its good for you, your ego, your sex life. And no, not all girls need booze.

And if she says yes, all the better.

I do agree that honesty is always the best policy for both parties involved.

_

Well?? What happened???

rhcpjam1029

haha still working on her. i've learned to keep my mind open very wide and take into account different attributes of different girls...more or less physical, but mainly personality, group of friends, etc.

it's shown me a lot about what i look for in a girl. and being the horny 18 year old boy that i am, it's hard to get past the surface. i usually only get to the middle of their chest and can't go much further.

haha. joking about that last part.

_

rhcpjam1029 wrote:

haha still working on her. i've learned to keep my mind open very wide and take into account different attributes of different girls...more or less physical, but mainly personality, group of friends, etc.

it's shown me a lot about what i look for in a girl. and being the horny 18 year old boy that i am, it's hard to get past the surface. i usually only get to the middle of their chest and can't go much further.

haha. joking about that last part.

And what about the other girl? From the mentor program.

Kilgore_Trout

rhcpjam1029 wrote:

justam wrote:

This is so easy, contrary to what people say.

Just be brave and kiss her when the opportunity arises. She'll let you know at that point whether she's interested or not.

The longer you go without attempting anything, the more she'll think you're not interested in her that way.

but i mean will that destroy my relationship with her as a friend if she rejects me?

i'm only 18 and i don't drink or whatever but it seems that everyone who has a girlfriend got her that way because of a drunk hook-up. love these days is just all unacquainted. i hate it.

i just want some woopie without making all these sacrifices.

ya gotta be willing to sacrifice the "friendship" for the sake of what you actually want... i'm all for what harry says in "when harry met sally"... men cant be friends with women that theyre sexually attracted to

lay it on the line bro! it might be terrible advice and she might shoot you down... but we've all been there... and believe me its so much easier to move on after something like that

loves a bitch! im only 3 years older than you and it hasnt gotten any easier - as i hoped it would... our generation is probably more confusing than most :?

rhcpjam1029

Kilgore_Trout wrote:

rhcpjam1029 wrote:

justam wrote:

This is so easy, contrary to what people say.

Just be brave and kiss her when the opportunity arises. She'll let you know at that point whether she's interested or not.

The longer you go without attempting anything, the more she'll think you're not interested in her that way.

but i mean will that destroy my relationship with her as a friend if she rejects me?

i'm only 18 and i don't drink or whatever but it seems that everyone who has a girlfriend got her that way because of a drunk hook-up. love these days is just all unacquainted. i hate it.

i just want some woopie without making all these sacrifices.

ya gotta be willing to sacrifice the "friendship" for the sake of what you actually want... i'm all for what harry says in "when harry met sally"... men cant be friends with women that theyre sexually attracted to

lay it on the line bro! it might be terrible advice and she might shoot you down... but we've all been there... and believe me its so much easier to move on after something like that

loves a bitch! im only 3 years older than you and it hasnt gotten any easier - as i hoped it would... our generation is probably more confusing than most :?

haha yeah i hear ya...ours is definitely one of the most confusing in that field.

and to scb, i'm still working on her. i had my first encounter with her last week and i think things went well. she said that it was "very sweet of me" to be doing what i do.

the wolf

run away from all women, RIGHT NOW !!

become a monk.

Ms. Wes C.addle

Ok... Just like girls are hard to read, guys can be difficult as well. Be honest. Be forward. Express how you feel in a non-creepy way. If you haven't really gotten to know them well enough, what you think you want, you may not want... Most guys and girls just aren't open to dates any more if there is no physical attraction. Unfortunately, they could be exactly what your looking for in soul and mind and you pass them up without further interest...

Everyone should just grow a fucking pair!

eyedclaar

ms. wes c.addle wrote:

Ok... Just like girls are hard to read, guys can be difficult as well. Be honest. Be forward. Express how you feel in a non-creepy way. If you haven't really gotten to know them well enough, what you think you want, you may not want... Most guys and girls just aren't open to dates any more if there is no physical attraction. Unfortunately, they could be exactly what your looking for in soul and mind and you pass them up without further interest...

Everyone should just grow a fucking pair!

Shiiiiiiiiit, my pair has grown a pair! Granted, visually it is disturbing as all hell, but I won't be accused of lacking testiculation!

_

rhcpjam1029 wrote:

and to scb, i'm still working on her. i had my first encounter with her last week and i think things went well. she said that it was "very sweet of me" to be doing what i do.

:thumbup:

JOEJOEJOE

Whizbang wrote:

justam wrote:

rhcpjam1029 wrote:

but i mean will that destroy my relationship with her as a friend if she rejects me?

i'm only 18 and i don't drink or whatever but it seems that everyone who has a girlfriend got her that way because of a drunk hook-up. love these days is just all unacquainted. i hate it.

i just want some woopie without making all these sacrifices.

I'll tell you an adult secret that I learned the hard way.

You will ALWAYS want her to be more than your friend so being afraid to jeopardize the friendship is really just being afraid that you'll find out she doesn't want you. BUT.

And, listen to this, this is the important part. You'll get more hurt if you go on being her friend for a long time because you'll just grow to love her more and more and then you'll have to face the rejection later.

Think about this...it's better to get it out of the way earlier rather than after investing months or years into her.

If you get rejected, it'll hurt later MORE.

take heed to these words, mi amigo.

someone said it earlier that women/girls make a decision about whether you're sexually attractive or not very quickly....and they're right. If they're not interested sexually at the start, they'll play the friend card. She could grow attracted to you but if you know you want more,lay it on the table now. If you don't, it does equal more hurt later.

Lay her on the table?

Great advice!