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How the hell do you get out of the friend zone?

rhcpjam1029rhcpjam1029 Posts: 1,981
edited January 2010 in All Encompassing Trip
this is a more of a question for girls to answer...but how can guys get out of the friend zone?

i don't even know how i manage to get there in the first place. i just like being really nice. girls always tell me that i'm "too nice." then i look at their jackass boyfriends that treat them like such garbage and i can't even imagine compelling myself to act like that.

i don't understand! it's like i'm doing good things for the wrong reason.

please help. thanks.
Beavis: All my friends are brown and red? What does that mean?
Butthead: It means that his friends are like turds and that they like suck.
Beavis: Heh heh. Oh yeah. Yeah! Get those spoons out of my face before I shove them up your butt!
Butthead: Huh huh.
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • heidihiheidihi Posts: 114
    You have to not start out as a friend in the first place. If your interested show your interest from the outset. That said I married my best friend but when we became friends he had no interest in me. :?
    “The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.” Mark Twain
  • blenderman69blenderman69 philly Posts: 2,104
    edited January 2010
    i'm not a girl, i'm a dude. but i can answer your question.your shit out of luck...move on,she'll never be more than a friend.girls know within the first thirty seconds if she'll ever sleep with you. sorry dude,she's just not that into you. am i right ladies?
    Post edited by blenderman69 on
  • ClaireackClaireack Posts: 13,561
    I worked with my hubby for 3 months before we got together, so I do think we were friends first, cheap wine helped us get it together.

    Thats not much help really, sorry. :)
    <a href="http://s952.photobucket.com/albums/ae8/catkinson_2009/?action=view&current=domo.jpg&quot; target="_blank"><img src="http://i952.photobucket.com/albums/ae8/catkinson_2009/domo.jpg&quot; border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>
  • fuckfuck Posts: 4,069
    lots of alcohol and possibly weed
  • mca47mca47 Posts: 13,304
    Damn near impossible to get out of the "friend zone". It's possible, but it ain't easy!
  • PJGARDENPJGARDEN Posts: 1,484
    blenderman69 wrote:
    i'm not a girl, i'm a dude. but i can answer your question.your shit out of luck...move on,she'll never be more than a friend.girls know within the first thirty seconds if she'll ever sleep with you. sorry dude,she's just not that into you. am i right ladies?

    I disagree. The longer I know a guy, the more attracted, or unattracted depending on the guy, he becomes to me. Attraction can and does build over time.

    Does this girl know how you feel about her? How long have you been in the "friend zone." There is a good chance she has no clue how you feel. Guys always claim to be clueless about this stuff, but girls are too. Tell her how you feel and gauge her reaction.
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,412
    This is so easy, contrary to what people say.

    Just be brave and kiss her when the opportunity arises. She'll let you know at that point whether she's interested or not.

    The longer you go without attempting anything, the more she'll think you're not interested in her that way.
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • JordyWordyJordyWordy Posts: 2,261
    justam wrote:
    This is so easy, contrary to what people say.

    Just be brave and kiss her when the opportunity arises. She'll let you know at that point whether she's interested or not.

    The longer you go without attempting anything, the more she'll think you're not interested in her that way.
    this is the answer. make a move. otherwise nothing will happen. its not gona sort itself out magically, you have to do something. its worth it if you like this girl.
  • rhcpjam1029rhcpjam1029 Posts: 1,981
    justam wrote:
    This is so easy, contrary to what people say.

    Just be brave and kiss her when the opportunity arises. She'll let you know at that point whether she's interested or not.

    The longer you go without attempting anything, the more she'll think you're not interested in her that way.

    but i mean will that destroy my relationship with her as a friend if she rejects me?

    i'm only 18 and i don't drink or whatever but it seems that everyone who has a girlfriend got her that way because of a drunk hook-up. love these days is just all unacquainted. i hate it.

    i just want some woopie without making all these sacrifices.
    Beavis: All my friends are brown and red? What does that mean?
    Butthead: It means that his friends are like turds and that they like suck.
    Beavis: Heh heh. Oh yeah. Yeah! Get those spoons out of my face before I shove them up your butt!
    Butthead: Huh huh.
  • blenderman69blenderman69 philly Posts: 2,104
    rhcpjam1029 wrote:
    justam wrote:
    This is so easy, contrary to what people say.

    Just be brave and kiss her when the opportunity arises. She'll let you know at that point whether she's interested or not.

    The longer you go without attempting anything, the more she'll think you're not interested in her that way.

    but i mean will that destroy my relationship with her as a friend if she rejects me?

    i'm only 18 and i don't drink or whatever but it seems that everyone who has a girlfriend got her that way because of a drunk hook-up. love these days is just all unacquainted. i hate it.

    i just want some woopie without making all these sacrifices.
    then you need chinese massage with happy ending!LOL!
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,412
    rhcpjam1029 wrote:
    justam wrote:
    This is so easy, contrary to what people say.

    Just be brave and kiss her when the opportunity arises. She'll let you know at that point whether she's interested or not.

    The longer you go without attempting anything, the more she'll think you're not interested in her that way.

    but i mean will that destroy my relationship with her as a friend if she rejects me?

    i'm only 18 and i don't drink or whatever but it seems that everyone who has a girlfriend got her that way because of a drunk hook-up. love these days is just all unacquainted. i hate it.

    i just want some woopie without making all these sacrifices.

    I'll tell you an adult secret that I learned the hard way. :|

    You will ALWAYS want her to be more than your friend so being afraid to jeopardize the friendship is really just being afraid that you'll find out she doesn't want you. BUT.

    And, listen to this, this is the important part. You'll get more hurt if you go on being her friend for a long time because you'll just grow to love her more and more and then you'll have to face the rejection later.

    Think about this...it's better to get it out of the way earlier rather than after investing months or years into her.

    If you get rejected, it'll hurt later MORE.
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • WhizbangWhizbang Posts: 1,314
    justam wrote:
    rhcpjam1029 wrote:
    but i mean will that destroy my relationship with her as a friend if she rejects me?

    i'm only 18 and i don't drink or whatever but it seems that everyone who has a girlfriend got her that way because of a drunk hook-up. love these days is just all unacquainted. i hate it.

    i just want some woopie without making all these sacrifices.

    I'll tell you an adult secret that I learned the hard way. :|

    You will ALWAYS want her to be more than your friend so being afraid to jeopardize the friendship is really just being afraid that you'll find out she doesn't want you. BUT.

    And, listen to this, this is the important part. You'll get more hurt if you go on being her friend for a long time because you'll just grow to love her more and more and then you'll have to face the rejection later.

    Think about this...it's better to get it out of the way earlier rather than after investing months or years into her.

    If you get rejected, it'll hurt later MORE.

    take heed to these words, mi amigo.

    someone said it earlier that women/girls make a decision about whether you're sexually attractive or not very quickly....and they're right. If they're not interested sexually at the start, they'll play the friend card. She could grow attracted to you but if you know you want more,lay it on the table now. If you don't, it does equal more hurt later.
    believe it or not, we don't "need" anything. that is only the spoiled brat in us trying to fill some temporary solution to an emptyness that does not exist.

    I have eaten so much gold I crapped excellence - drtyfrnk29

    Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all!
  • LikeAnOpeningBandForTheSunLikeAnOpeningBandForTheSun Posts: 6,097
    in short: cut your losses with whoever youre friends with now and get over it cuz it aint happening. then next time be as direct as possible early and dont settle for friendship.
  • __ Posts: 6,651
    PJGARDEN wrote:
    blenderman69 wrote:
    i'm not a girl, i'm a dude. but i can answer your question.your shit out of luck...move on,she'll never be more than a friend.girls know within the first thirty seconds if she'll ever sleep with you. sorry dude,she's just not that into you. am i right ladies?

    I disagree. The longer I know a guy, the more attracted, or unattracted depending on the guy, he becomes to me. Attraction can and does build over time.

    Does this girl know how you feel about her? How long have you been in the "friend zone." There is a good chance she has no clue how you feel. Guys always claim to be clueless about this stuff, but girls are too. Tell her how you feel and gauge her reaction.

    I completely agree with this. The only guys I've ever truly fallen in love with have been my friends first. I have no (serious) interest in guys I hardly know or guys who want to be with me but wouldn't want to be my friend.

    Instead of just laying it out there though, I would suggest flirting with her. Let her know how you feel in a less direct way and gauge her response. That way you'll open the door for her to start thinking of you in that way.
    rhcpjam1029 wrote:
    but i mean will that destroy my relationship with her as a friend if she rejects me?

    That's up to you. If you're a big baby about it and can't handle rejection or won't take no for an answer or don't want to be friends with her unless she wants to get with you, then THAT'S what will destroy your relationship - not the mere fact that you're attracted to her and you let her know. It's all about how you handle it.
    rhcpjam1029 wrote:
    i just want some woopie without making all these sacrifices.

    I'm not entirely sure what you mean by this. But if you mean that all you really want is to fuck her and you're not really interested in friendship, then pull your head out of your ass and leave the poor girl alone. Go find a prostitute; don't disrespect your friend.
  • HammerdonkeyHammerdonkey Posts: 550
    When you have a moment alone with a woman and you feel a certain vibe, just whip your dick out. Everything else will take care of itself. The last thing men need are women friends we can't bang. We all know that. When you get married, go ahead and try to keep some close female friends. I dare you. I hope you liked your penis. It'll be chopped off. Wives don't tolerate close female friends with their husbands. So, long story short, if you can hit the pootie, serve that tang like a butler in Beverly Hills. If she wants to be friends, you need to hang with more whores.

    Whores are fun people.
  • __ Posts: 6,651
    Hammerdonkey wrote:
    When you have a moment alone with a woman and you feel a certain vibe, just whip your dick out.


    Joel??? Is that you??? I didn't know you liked Pearl Jam! ;)
  • PRL1JAMPRL1JAM Posts: 787
    Hammerdonkey wrote:
    When you have a moment alone with a woman and you feel a certain vibe, just whip your dick out. Everything else will take care of itself. The last thing men need are women friends we can't bang. We all know that. When you get married, go ahead and try to keep some close female friends. I dare you. I hope you liked your penis. It'll be chopped off. Wives don't tolerate close female friends with their husbands. So, long story short, if you can hit the pootie, serve that tang like a butler in Beverly Hills. If she wants to be friends, you need to hang with more whores.

    Whores are fun people.

    WTF?!

    good stuff!!!

    :lol: :thumbup: :lol:
  • Back_PedalBack_Pedal Posts: 1,171
    3964.jpg
    Thanks EPOTTSIII!
    "Vinyl or not, you will need to pay someone to take RA of your hands" - Smile05
    424, xxx
  • OffHeGoes29OffHeGoes29 Posts: 1,240
    Sorry to say it, but your on a long road of getting fucked over. Have fun being you, and when chicks get tired of the d-bags, you'll meet someone when you're in your 30s.

    That will be 5 dollars.
    BRING BACK THE WHALE
  • missislesmissisles Posts: 539
    i been friends with my partner for over 10 years
    we dated 10 years ago
    stayed mated
    and then got back together about 18 months ago

    so it is possible to do
    their was alot of booze involved to begin with :mrgreen:
    makes much more sense to live in the present tense
  • __ Posts: 6,651
    Anyone else notice that the guys in this thread all seem to give the same bitter advice? ;)

    Don't listen to them, OP! Just because they don't know how to get out of the friend zone doesn't mean it's not possible. :)
  • missislesmissisles Posts: 539
    scb wrote:
    Anyone else notice that the guys in this thread all seem to give the same bitter advice? ;)

    Don't listen to them, OP! :)


    suspected jaded males that got rejected?
    makes much more sense to live in the present tense
  • __ Posts: 6,651
    missisles wrote:
    scb wrote:
    Anyone else notice that the guys in this thread all seem to give the same bitter advice? ;)

    Don't listen to them, OP! :)


    suspected jaded males that got rejected?

    Exactly! Then they just all convince themselves that this is just the way it is and poor guys like the OP, if he believes them, are doomed from the start. And us poor women are stuck with a bunch of guys who think they have to play games.
  • missislesmissisles Posts: 539
    scb wrote:
    missisles wrote:
    scb wrote:
    Anyone else notice that the guys in this thread all seem to give the same bitter advice? ;)

    Don't listen to them, OP! :)


    suspected jaded males that got rejected?

    Exactly! Then they just all convince themselves that this is just the way it is and poor guys like the OP, if he believes them, are doomed from the start. And us poor women are stuck with a bunch of guys who think they have to play games.

    the only games i like to play are monopoly and such
    hahahah
    :lol:

    silly boys!
    makes much more sense to live in the present tense
  • Gary CarterGary Carter Posts: 14,067
    rhcpjam1029 wrote:
    justam wrote:
    This is so easy, contrary to what people say.

    Just be brave and kiss her when the opportunity arises. She'll let you know at that point whether she's interested or not.

    The longer you go without attempting anything, the more she'll think you're not interested in her that way.

    but i mean will that destroy my relationship with her as a friend if she rejects me?

    i'm only 18 and i don't drink or whatever but it seems that everyone who has a girlfriend got her that way because of a drunk hook-up. love these days is just all unacquainted. i hate it.

    i just want some woopie without making all these sacrifices.
    if you value her as a friend than don't make a move and just be friends. but be prepared to get rejected cause chances are that will happen.

    stay single and fuck as many as girls while you are young. also its called fucking or sex not woopie.
    Ron: I just don't feel like going out tonight
    Sammi: Wanna just break up?

  • __ Posts: 6,651
    missisles wrote:
    the only games i like to play are monopoly and such
    hahahah
    :lol:

    silly boys!

    Exactly! Whatever happened to just being honest with one another?
  • rhcpjam1029rhcpjam1029 Posts: 1,981
    scb wrote:
    I'm not entirely sure what you mean by this. But if you mean that all you really want is to fuck her and you're not really interested in friendship, then pull your head out of your ass and leave the poor girl alone. Go find a prostitute; don't disrespect your friend.


    haha. no i mean that all the guys i know who are getting action right now, the assholes who treat their girlfriends like complete shit; never giving them any attention, telling them what to do when they do give it to them, pretty much just being in a relationship for ass; got their girlfriend from a drunk hook-up. i don't want to get hammered and then just hook up with a girl. i think that is just a poor excuse in order to get laid. i don't care if people say "well i'm shy" or "i just feel more comfortable when i'm drunk." you don't go to a job interview drunk just so that you'll feel more comfortable. that's the type of sacrifice i do not want to take in order to get some. it's just unnecessary to me.

    one more thing...i'm trying to get more affiliated with this girl that i volunteer with at this mentoring program. i only see her once every other week but i think she's really attractive and would like to spur some type of conversation with her so that i could start something. she's a little older than i am...but would it be weird if i just went up to her and started talking to her? how should i approach someone who i've never talked to before in that kind of environment?

    btw...as i'm typing this there's a ladybug who keeps crawling up and down my laptop screen and keyboard. symbolic?
    Beavis: All my friends are brown and red? What does that mean?
    Butthead: It means that his friends are like turds and that they like suck.
    Beavis: Heh heh. Oh yeah. Yeah! Get those spoons out of my face before I shove them up your butt!
    Butthead: Huh huh.
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    rhcpjam1029 wrote:
    i just want some woopie without making all these sacrifices.


    whoopi-sized.jpg


    :shock: ;)
  • SPEEDY MCCREADYSPEEDY MCCREADY Posts: 25,887
    You are only 18....

    Have fun...
    Date lots of girls....
    Have fun
    Date hundreds of girls......
    Have fun..........
    Date thousands of girls...................
    Have fun...........


    Most of all......
    Have fun....

    As far as the sex???
    When it happens....It happens.....

    Dont drive yourself crazy over it....
    When it happens.....It happens.................
    Take me piece by piece.....
    Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
  • missislesmissisles Posts: 539
    why is boys get to "be young and fuck"

    but if a girl does it shes a slut or a hoe?

    and its the boys that fuck anything that move that call these girls sluts n hoes
    makes much more sense to live in the present tense
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