haha. no i mean that all the guys i know who are getting action right now, the assholes who treat their girlfriends like complete shit; never giving them any attention, telling them what to do when they do give it to them, pretty much just being in a relationship for ass; got their girlfriend from a drunk hook-up. i don't want to get hammered and then just hook up with a girl. i think that is just a poor excuse in order to get laid. i don't care if people say "well i'm shy" or "i just feel more comfortable when i'm drunk." you don't go to a job interview drunk just so that you'll feel more comfortable. that's the type of sacrifice i do not want to take in order to get some. it's just unnecessary to me.
Oh, got it. Well then I'd say you're already ahead of the game! Immature drunk fuckers are a dime a dozen, but it sounds like you are neither.
As for the girls who date those guys, try to cut them some slack (not that you weren't already). These things are just as confusing for young women as they are for men. It takes time, maturity, and sometimes a lot of effort to learn how to respect yourself and say no when you're 18 and always the object of some horny guy's advances - especially when society tells you that that's your role.
Also, it can be easy to find comfort and relief in your guy friends who aren't out for a piece of ass like everyone else. A guy in the "friend zone" is much more valuable than a guy you hook up with when you're drunk. It's nice to feel like there are men who you can trust, who aren't just objectifying you for their own selfish gain. Ultimately, it's the men with whom you feel safe and respected who will win your heart.
one more thing...i'm trying to get more affiliated with this girl that i volunteer with at this mentoring program. i only see her once every other week but i think she's really attractive and would like to spur some type of conversation with her so that i could start something. she's a little older than i am...but would it be weird if i just went up to her and started talking to her? how should i approach someone who i've never talked to before in that kind of environment?
Wait - so this is a different girl, right?
I don't completely understand what the environment is like, so it's hard to say for sure. If you have some reason to talk to her or something to talk about that's not completely random, then that would be ideal, especially if you've never spoken with her. Can you strike up a conversation about the program or about the people you mentor?
Personally, I don't like to go out with people who just walk up and ask me out without knowing anything about me. So I'd try to have some kind of ongoing conversation with her to get to know her a little better first. (That will give you a better idea of whether or not she's really someone you would like to go out with.) You're lucky that you see her regularly. Can you set things up so that you work more closely with and have to interact with her for the mentoring program?
this is a more of a question for girls to answer...but how can guys get out of the friend zone?
i don't even know how i manage to get there in the first place. i just like being really nice. girls always tell me that i'm "too nice." then i look at their jackass boyfriends that treat them like such garbage and i can't even imagine compelling myself to act like that.
i don't understand! it's like i'm doing good things for the wrong reason.
please help. thanks.
Because Girls DON'T like *****~~~NICE GUYS~~~*****
this is a more of a question for girls to answer...but how can guys get out of the friend zone?
i don't even know how i manage to get there in the first place. i just like being really nice. girls always tell me that i'm "too nice." then i look at their jackass boyfriends that treat them like such garbage and i can't even imagine compelling myself to act like that.
i don't understand! it's like i'm doing good things for the wrong reason.
please help. thanks.
Because Girls DON'T like *****~~~NICE GUYS~~~*****
bullshit
makes much more sense to live in the present tense
one more thing...i'm trying to get more affiliated with this girl that i volunteer with at this mentoring program. i only see her once every other week but i think she's really attractive and would like to spur some type of conversation with her so that i could start something. she's a little older than i am...but would it be weird if i just went up to her and started talking to her? how should i approach someone who i've never talked to before in that kind of environment?
btw...as i'm typing this there's a ladybug who keeps crawling up and down my laptop screen and keyboard. symbolic?
tell her a joke. girls love to laugh. it's a great icebreaker for you and her.
Ron: I just don't feel like going out tonight
Sammi: Wanna just break up?
this is a more of a question for girls to answer...but how can guys get out of the friend zone?
i don't even know how i manage to get there in the first place. i just like being really nice. girls always tell me that i'm "too nice." then i look at their jackass boyfriends that treat them like such garbage and i can't even imagine compelling myself to act like that.
i don't understand! it's like i'm doing good things for the wrong reason.
please help. thanks.
Because Girls DON'T like *****~~~NICE GUYS~~~*****
That's such bullshit. It's no wonder that guys are always saying they don't understand women when they insist on holding on to these bogus ideas instead of listening to women when they try to explain themselves. It's so frustrating and I'm so sick of hearing this!!
I wish I knew buddy. This woman that I work with drives me insane no matter how much we flirt, she takes it as all in good fun. Which it is but damn. . .
one more thing...i'm trying to get more affiliated with this girl that i volunteer with at this mentoring program. i only see her once every other week but i think she's really attractive and would like to spur some type of conversation with her so that i could start something. she's a little older than i am...but would it be weird if i just went up to her and started talking to her? how should i approach someone who i've never talked to before in that kind of environment?
btw...as i'm typing this there's a ladybug who keeps crawling up and down my laptop screen and keyboard. symbolic?
tell her a joke. girls love to laugh. it's a great icebreaker for you and her.
I'm not disagreeing, but I just want to add that too many guys rely too heavily on humor with women. Sure, everyone loves to laugh. But, if you ask me, guys tend to put too much pressure on themselves to be funny.
They also try to turn everything into a joke, especially when they don't know what to say or don't feel comfortable having a conversation with any depth. Sometimes a joke says, "Hi, I'm rhcpjam1029 and I want to talk to you but have absolutely nothing of substance to say." As an opener, it can be like just another obvious pick-up line. And then what are you going to say after the joke's done?
this is a more of a question for girls to answer...but how can guys get out of the friend zone?
i don't even know how i manage to get there in the first place. i just like being really nice. girls always tell me that i'm "too nice." then i look at their jackass boyfriends that treat them like such garbage and i can't even imagine compelling myself to act like that.
i don't understand! it's like i'm doing good things for the wrong reason.
please help. thanks.
Because Girls DON'T like *****~~~NICE GUYS~~~*****
It's not that they don't like NICE guys, it's just at 18 or so you think the sun shines out the arses of the meatheads in the football teams, and that being with one these meatheads you get to know the rest of the meatheads, and that will make you very cool! (not all guys who play football are meatheads either, some can be nice people!)
Mate, if you don't tell, she won;t know and you'll constantly wonder what if?". Suck it up, courage that is, put yourself out there, if she says yay, the great, if you get the big NO, then move on. Don't hang around, there are plenty of fish in the ocean and you've got plenty of time to go fishing!
They also try to turn everything into a joke, especially when they don't know what to say or don't feel comfortable having a conversation with any depth. Sometimes a joke says, "Hi, I'm rhcpjam1029 and I want to talk to you but have absolutely nothing of substance to say." As an opener, it can be like just another obvious pick-up line. And then what are you going to say after the joke's done?
well hopefully she will help in the conversation
ya know, since men still, by and large, have to initiate conversations with women we are left to make pickup lines or jokes...so when we do, have a little sympathy and politely laugh and indicate if you are interested to talk to us...and if you aren't, nicely let us know so we don't continue to make an ass of ourselves
Yeah, I suppose the fastest way out of it is to to out with her and the two of you get good and loaded. Make a move and if she's weirded out maybe she won't remember. If she's not...then YOU'RE IN!
some of you are getting into generalities about "nice guys".....its not relevant. It simply isnt. what matters is that the OP wants this to be a physical relationship. The OP sounds like a good bloke. He deserves good advice.
In this case, i dont see what possible good it could do you to stay friends as you are if you're not totally happy with it. Make a move, say it to her, see what happens. You just need to use your stones.
The girls who are advising you to wait/stay friends with her are, simply put, giving you bad advice. It's not fair to sit and silently suffer, not fair on you, and not fair on her. It's healthy to be up front with people, Whether its rejecting them or saying "i just want sex, and no commitment". Just go get whatever you want. life is short.
She may say no, and that would be shit.
She may say yes..?
Personally i went through this bullshit a few years ago, any guy that did will tell u the same.
If she says no then make sure you go out, meet some girls, go on a few dates, get some sex, whatever. its good for you, your ego, your sex life. And no, not all girls need booze.
some of you are getting into generalities about "nice guys".....its not relevant. It simply isnt. what matters is that the OP wants this to be a physical relationship. The OP sounds like a good bloke. He deserves good advice.
In this case, i dont see what possible good it could do you to stay friends as you are if you're not totally happy with it. Make a move, say it to her, see what happens. You just need to use your stones.
The girls who are advising you to wait/stay friends with her are, simply put, giving you bad advice. It's not fair to sit and silently suffer, not fair on you, and not fair on her. It's healthy to be up front with people, Whether its rejecting them or saying "i just want sex, and no commitment". Just go get whatever you want. life is short.
She may say no, and that would be shit.
She may say yes..?
Personally i went through this bullshit a few years ago, any guy that did will tell u the same.
If she says no then make sure you go out, meet some girls, go on a few dates, get some sex, whatever. its good for you, your ego, your sex life. And no, not all girls need booze.
They also try to turn everything into a joke, especially when they don't know what to say or don't feel comfortable having a conversation with any depth. Sometimes a joke says, "Hi, I'm rhcpjam1029 and I want to talk to you but have absolutely nothing of substance to say." As an opener, it can be like just another obvious pick-up line. And then what are you going to say after the joke's done?
well hopefully she will help in the conversation
ya know, since men still, by and large, have to initiate conversations with women we are left to make pickup lines or jokes...so when we do, have a little sympathy and politely laugh and indicate if you are interested to talk to us...and if you aren't, nicely let us know so we don't continue to make an ass of ourselves
+1
Ron: I just don't feel like going out tonight
Sammi: Wanna just break up?
They also try to turn everything into a joke, especially when they don't know what to say or don't feel comfortable having a conversation with any depth. Sometimes a joke says, "Hi, I'm rhcpjam1029 and I want to talk to you but have absolutely nothing of substance to say." As an opener, it can be like just another obvious pick-up line. And then what are you going to say after the joke's done?
well hopefully she will help in the conversation
ya know, since men still, by and large, have to initiate conversations with women we are left to make pickup lines or jokes...so when we do, have a little sympathy and politely laugh and indicate if you are interested to talk to us...and if you aren't, nicely let us know so we don't continue to make an ass of ourselves
I do have sympathy/empathy and I'm always polite (sometimes too polite). And I don't think guys who are sincere are making asses out of themselves. I know guys have it hard... I feel for ya.
some of you are getting into generalities about "nice guys".....its not relevant. It simply isnt. what matters is that the OP wants this to be a physical relationship. The OP sounds like a good bloke. He deserves good advice.
In this case, i dont see what possible good it could do you to stay friends as you are if you're not totally happy with it. Make a move, say it to her, see what happens. You just need to use your stones.
The girls who are advising you to wait/stay friends with her are, simply put, giving you bad advice. It's not fair to sit and silently suffer, not fair on you, and not fair on her. It's healthy to be up front with people, Whether its rejecting them or saying "i just want sex, and no commitment". Just go get whatever you want. life is short.
She may say no, and that would be shit.
She may say yes..?
Personally i went through this bullshit a few years ago, any guy that did will tell u the same.
If she says no then make sure you go out, meet some girls, go on a few dates, get some sex, whatever. its good for you, your ego, your sex life. And no, not all girls need booze.
And if she says yes, all the better.
I do agree that honesty is always the best policy for both parties involved.
haha still working on her. i've learned to keep my mind open very wide and take into account different attributes of different girls...more or less physical, but mainly personality, group of friends, etc.
it's shown me a lot about what i look for in a girl. and being the horny 18 year old boy that i am, it's hard to get past the surface. i usually only get to the middle of their chest and can't go much further.
haha. joking about that last part.
Beavis: All my friends are brown and red? What does that mean?
Butthead: It means that his friends are like turds and that they like suck.
Beavis: Heh heh. Oh yeah. Yeah! Get those spoons out of my face before I shove them up your butt!
Butthead: Huh huh.
haha still working on her. i've learned to keep my mind open very wide and take into account different attributes of different girls...more or less physical, but mainly personality, group of friends, etc.
it's shown me a lot about what i look for in a girl. and being the horny 18 year old boy that i am, it's hard to get past the surface. i usually only get to the middle of their chest and can't go much further.
haha. joking about that last part.
And what about the other girl? From the mentor program.
Just be brave and kiss her when the opportunity arises. She'll let you know at that point whether she's interested or not.
The longer you go without attempting anything, the more she'll think you're not interested in her that way.
but i mean will that destroy my relationship with her as a friend if she rejects me?
i'm only 18 and i don't drink or whatever but it seems that everyone who has a girlfriend got her that way because of a drunk hook-up. love these days is just all unacquainted. i hate it.
i just want some woopie without making all these sacrifices.
ya gotta be willing to sacrifice the "friendship" for the sake of what you actually want... i'm all for what harry says in "when harry met sally"... men cant be friends with women that theyre sexually attracted to
lay it on the line bro! it might be terrible advice and she might shoot you down... but we've all been there... and believe me its so much easier to move on after something like that
loves a bitch! im only 3 years older than you and it hasnt gotten any easier - as i hoped it would... our generation is probably more confusing than most :?
Just be brave and kiss her when the opportunity arises. She'll let you know at that point whether she's interested or not.
The longer you go without attempting anything, the more she'll think you're not interested in her that way.
but i mean will that destroy my relationship with her as a friend if she rejects me?
i'm only 18 and i don't drink or whatever but it seems that everyone who has a girlfriend got her that way because of a drunk hook-up. love these days is just all unacquainted. i hate it.
i just want some woopie without making all these sacrifices.
ya gotta be willing to sacrifice the "friendship" for the sake of what you actually want... i'm all for what harry says in "when harry met sally"... men cant be friends with women that theyre sexually attracted to
lay it on the line bro! it might be terrible advice and she might shoot you down... but we've all been there... and believe me its so much easier to move on after something like that
loves a bitch! im only 3 years older than you and it hasnt gotten any easier - as i hoped it would... our generation is probably more confusing than most :?
haha yeah i hear ya...ours is definitely one of the most confusing in that field.
and to scb, i'm still working on her. i had my first encounter with her last week and i think things went well. she said that it was "very sweet of me" to be doing what i do.
Beavis: All my friends are brown and red? What does that mean?
Butthead: It means that his friends are like turds and that they like suck.
Beavis: Heh heh. Oh yeah. Yeah! Get those spoons out of my face before I shove them up your butt!
Butthead: Huh huh.
Ok... Just like girls are hard to read, guys can be difficult as well. Be honest. Be forward. Express how you feel in a non-creepy way. If you haven't really gotten to know them well enough, what you think you want, you may not want... Most guys and girls just aren't open to dates any more if there is no physical attraction. Unfortunately, they could be exactly what your looking for in soul and mind and you pass them up without further interest...
Ok... Just like girls are hard to read, guys can be difficult as well. Be honest. Be forward. Express how you feel in a non-creepy way. If you haven't really gotten to know them well enough, what you think you want, you may not want... Most guys and girls just aren't open to dates any more if there is no physical attraction. Unfortunately, they could be exactly what your looking for in soul and mind and you pass them up without further interest...
Everyone should just grow a fucking pair!
Shiiiiiiiiit, my pair has grown a pair! Granted, visually it is disturbing as all hell, but I won't be accused of lacking testiculation!
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and to scb, i'm still working on her. i had my first encounter with her last week and i think things went well. she said that it was "very sweet of me" to be doing what i do.
but i mean will that destroy my relationship with her as a friend if she rejects me?
i'm only 18 and i don't drink or whatever but it seems that everyone who has a girlfriend got her that way because of a drunk hook-up. love these days is just all unacquainted. i hate it.
i just want some woopie without making all these sacrifices.
I'll tell you an adult secret that I learned the hard way.
You will ALWAYS want her to be more than your friend so being afraid to jeopardize the friendship is really just being afraid that you'll find out she doesn't want you. BUT.
And, listen to this, this is the important part. You'll get more hurt if you go on being her friend for a long time because you'll just grow to love her more and more and then you'll have to face the rejection later.
Think about this...it's better to get it out of the way earlier rather than after investing months or years into her.
If you get rejected, it'll hurt later MORE.
take heed to these words, mi amigo.
someone said it earlier that women/girls make a decision about whether you're sexually attractive or not very quickly....and they're right. If they're not interested sexually at the start, they'll play the friend card. She could grow attracted to you but if you know you want more,lay it on the table now. If you don't, it does equal more hurt later.
Comments
So as not to derail this thread, I started another one about this statement.
I would love to know the answer to this question as well.
Oh, got it. Well then I'd say you're already ahead of the game! Immature drunk fuckers are a dime a dozen, but it sounds like you are neither.
As for the girls who date those guys, try to cut them some slack (not that you weren't already). These things are just as confusing for young women as they are for men. It takes time, maturity, and sometimes a lot of effort to learn how to respect yourself and say no when you're 18 and always the object of some horny guy's advances - especially when society tells you that that's your role.
Also, it can be easy to find comfort and relief in your guy friends who aren't out for a piece of ass like everyone else. A guy in the "friend zone" is much more valuable than a guy you hook up with when you're drunk. It's nice to feel like there are men who you can trust, who aren't just objectifying you for their own selfish gain. Ultimately, it's the men with whom you feel safe and respected who will win your heart.
Wait - so this is a different girl, right?
I don't completely understand what the environment is like, so it's hard to say for sure. If you have some reason to talk to her or something to talk about that's not completely random, then that would be ideal, especially if you've never spoken with her. Can you strike up a conversation about the program or about the people you mentor?
Personally, I don't like to go out with people who just walk up and ask me out without knowing anything about me. So I'd try to have some kind of ongoing conversation with her to get to know her a little better first. (That will give you a better idea of whether or not she's really someone you would like to go out with.) You're lucky that you see her regularly. Can you set things up so that you work more closely with and have to interact with her for the mentoring program?
Haha!
Because Girls DON'T like *****~~~NICE GUYS~~~*****
bullshit
Sammi: Wanna just break up?
That's such bullshit. It's no wonder that guys are always saying they don't understand women when they insist on holding on to these bogus ideas instead of listening to women when they try to explain themselves. It's so frustrating and I'm so sick of hearing this!!
I'm not disagreeing, but I just want to add that too many guys rely too heavily on humor with women. Sure, everyone loves to laugh. But, if you ask me, guys tend to put too much pressure on themselves to be funny.
They also try to turn everything into a joke, especially when they don't know what to say or don't feel comfortable having a conversation with any depth. Sometimes a joke says, "Hi, I'm rhcpjam1029 and I want to talk to you but have absolutely nothing of substance to say." As an opener, it can be like just another obvious pick-up line. And then what are you going to say after the joke's done?
It's not that they don't like NICE guys, it's just at 18 or so you think the sun shines out the arses of the meatheads in the football teams, and that being with one these meatheads you get to know the rest of the meatheads, and that will make you very cool!
Mate, if you don't tell, she won;t know and you'll constantly wonder what if?". Suck it up, courage that is, put yourself out there, if she says yay, the great, if you get the big NO, then move on. Don't hang around, there are plenty of fish in the ocean and you've got plenty of time to go fishing!
well hopefully she will help in the conversation
ya know, since men still, by and large, have to initiate conversations with women we are left to make pickup lines or jokes...so when we do, have a little sympathy and politely laugh and indicate if you are interested to talk to us...and if you aren't, nicely let us know so we don't continue to make an ass of ourselves
No we don't like them, we love them!! I married a nice guy
Alcohol solves everything!
In this case, i dont see what possible good it could do you to stay friends as you are if you're not totally happy with it. Make a move, say it to her, see what happens. You just need to use your stones.
The girls who are advising you to wait/stay friends with her are, simply put, giving you bad advice. It's not fair to sit and silently suffer, not fair on you, and not fair on her. It's healthy to be up front with people, Whether its rejecting them or saying "i just want sex, and no commitment". Just go get whatever you want. life is short.
She may say no, and that would be shit.
She may say yes..?
Personally i went through this bullshit a few years ago, any guy that did will tell u the same.
If she says no then make sure you go out, meet some girls, go on a few dates, get some sex, whatever. its good for you, your ego, your sex life. And no, not all girls need booze.
And if she says yes, all the better.
Sammi: Wanna just break up?
Damn, it's happened again!!
I do have sympathy/empathy and I'm always polite (sometimes too polite). And I don't think guys who are sincere are making asses out of themselves. I know guys have it hard... I feel for ya.
I do agree that honesty is always the best policy for both parties involved.
it's shown me a lot about what i look for in a girl. and being the horny 18 year old boy that i am, it's hard to get past the surface. i usually only get to the middle of their chest and can't go much further.
haha. joking about that last part.
Butthead: It means that his friends are like turds and that they like suck.
Beavis: Heh heh. Oh yeah. Yeah! Get those spoons out of my face before I shove them up your butt!
Butthead: Huh huh.
And what about the other girl? From the mentor program.
lay it on the line bro! it might be terrible advice and she might shoot you down... but we've all been there... and believe me its so much easier to move on after something like that
loves a bitch! im only 3 years older than you and it hasnt gotten any easier - as i hoped it would... our generation is probably more confusing than most :?
http://seanbriceart.com/
haha yeah i hear ya...ours is definitely one of the most confusing in that field.
and to scb, i'm still working on her. i had my first encounter with her last week and i think things went well. she said that it was "very sweet of me" to be doing what i do.
Butthead: It means that his friends are like turds and that they like suck.
Beavis: Heh heh. Oh yeah. Yeah! Get those spoons out of my face before I shove them up your butt!
Butthead: Huh huh.
become a monk.
"To question your government is not unpatriotic --
to not question your government is unpatriotic."
-- Sen. Chuck Hagel
Everyone should just grow a fucking pair!
Shiiiiiiiiit, my pair has grown a pair! Granted, visually it is disturbing as all hell, but I won't be accused of lacking testiculation!
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:thumbup:
Lay her on the table?
Great advice!