Girl gets raped and people don't help WTF .

josevolution

http://news.aol.com/article/girl-gang-r ... nia/737436

I would have to kill anybody involved and i do place blame on parents for not making sure their daughter could get home in a safe manner maybe i'm wrong ....

decides2dream

sadly, i am unsurprised.
there is actually a psych term, which now escapes me, for this very phenomenon. people do 'nothing' b/c they think someone else will do something. that, coupled with fears for themselves. it truly is amazing.

have you never seen the film the accused? http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094608/ jodi foster starred. based on a true story of rape and people watching/doing nothing. it truly is not uncommon.

as far as any "blame" for the parents, i'd be careful there. from the article it reads as though the father was to pick his daughter up at the dance, and before that happened friends of hers asked her to another spot to drink. idk what else a parent can do besides arrange to pick up their child at a set time for such an event.

bottomline, it is tragic and disgusting what happened to this girl.

Pepe Silvia

decides2dream wrote:

sadly, i am unsurprised.
there is actually a psych term, which now escapes me, for this very phenomenon. people do 'nothing' b/c they think someone else will do something. that, coupled with fears for themselves. it truly is amazing.

have you never seen the film the accused? http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094608/ jodi foster starred. based on a true story of rape and people watching/doing nothing. it truly is not uncommon.

as far as any "blame" for the parents, i'd be careful there. from the article it reads as though the father was to pick his daughter up at the dance, and before that happened friends of hers asked her to another spot to drink. idk what else a parent can do besides arrange to pick up their child at a set time for such an event.

bottomline, it is tragic and disgusting what happened to this girl.

i saw some study where they'd have someone in a room with a door open waiting then a woman would scream and call for help and the majority wouldn't leave the room until they saw someone else walking down the hall on their way to see what it was

forgot the name of the show, some actress when i was a kid got killed in her driveway while her boyfriend was inside and he was too scared to come out and help....

Pepe Silvia

Two suspects were in custody Monday, but police said as many as five other men attacked the girl over a two-hour period Friday night outside Richmond High School.

2 hours!?!?

josevolution

decides2dream wrote:

sadly, i am unsurprised.
there is actually a psych term, which now escapes me, for this very phenomenon. people do 'nothing' b/c they think someone else will do something. that, coupled with fears for themselves. it truly is amazing.

have you never seen the film the accused? http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094608/ jodi foster starred. based on a true story of rape and people watching/doing nothing. it truly is not uncommon.

as far as any "blame" for the parents, i'd be careful there. from the article it reads as though the father was to pick his daughter up at the dance, and before that happened friends of hers asked her to another spot to drink. idk what else a parent can do besides arrange to pick up their child at a set time for such an event.

bottomline, it is tragic and disgusting what happened to this girl.

Yeah i hear you on the parents doing their part but me being a parent of a young girl i don't know :evil: :evil:

decides2dream

Pepe Silvia wrote:

decides2dream wrote:

sadly, i am unsurprised.
there is actually a psych term, which now escapes me, for this very phenomenon. people do 'nothing' b/c they think someone else will do something. that, coupled with fears for themselves. it truly is amazing.

have you never seen the film the accused? http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094608/ jodi foster starred. based on a true story of rape and people watching/doing nothing. it truly is not uncommon.

as far as any "blame" for the parents, i'd be careful there. from the article it reads as though the father was to pick his daughter up at the dance, and before that happened friends of hers asked her to another spot to drink. idk what else a parent can do besides arrange to pick up their child at a set time for such an event.

bottomline, it is tragic and disgusting what happened to this girl.

i saw some study where they'd have someone in a room with a door open waiting then a woman would scream and call for help and the majority wouldn't leave the room until they saw someone else walking down the hall on their way to see what it was

forgot the name of the show, some actress when i was a kid got killed in her driveway while her boyfriend was inside and he was too scared to come out and help....

seriously, it annoys me i cannot think of the psych term. it might be based on a name. it initially got coined around the time a woman got raped - i think perhaps right in queens NY, tho that i am uncertain - but anyhoo, girl was getting attacked/raped....and screaming....all the neighbors around heard, but when question afterwards, just about all said that yes, they heard her screams for help, but none did anything b/c they thought certain someone else would've already have called the ppolice. obviously, other studies into it all, but it a fairly common phenomena. this is why it's said it's better to yell 'fire' than to scream for help, b/c it might call others to action, simply for fear of their own safety.





jose, i may not have children, but i hear ya. thing is, i just don't much care for pointing fingers at the parents unless blatantly obvious. i think it's a knee-jerk reaction from most, mostly b/c everyone wants to believe it has to be a deficet of the parents and why it hapopened....in a sense to make them feel that THEIR children will always be safe b/c they would 'never' allow such to happen, etc, etc. sure, it's a great coping mechanism, but i am sure we all are too sadly aware, it's just not the case; none of us can guarantee our own safey, let alone our children or anyone else. we can do our best to try, but it's also pure dumb luck...

eMMI

decides2dream wrote:

sadly, i am unsurprised.
there is actually a psych term, which now escapes me, for this very phenomenon. people do 'nothing' b/c they think someone else will do something. that, coupled with fears for themselves. it truly is amazing.

have you never seen the film the accused? http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094608/ jodi foster starred. based on a true story of rape and people watching/doing nothing. it truly is not uncommon.

as far as any "blame" for the parents, i'd be careful there. from the article it reads as though the father was to pick his daughter up at the dance, and before that happened friends of hers asked her to another spot to drink. idk what else a parent can do besides arrange to pick up their child at a set time for such an event.

bottomline, it is tragic and disgusting what happened to this girl.

Diffusion of responsibility. Is that the one? I remembered reading about this kind of thing not too long ago and checked the book (Elephants On Acid - Alex Boese)

"The phenomenon the experiment [a staged emergency] demonstrated is called "diffusion of responsibility". When people in groups witness an emergency, they tend to look around and think, "Someone else wil help." No one feels directly responsible. And, consequently, no one does anything."

soulsinging

eMMI wrote:

decides2dream wrote:

sadly, i am unsurprised.
there is actually a psych term, which now escapes me, for this very phenomenon. people do 'nothing' b/c they think someone else will do something. that, coupled with fears for themselves. it truly is amazing.

have you never seen the film the accused? http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094608/ jodi foster starred. based on a true story of rape and people watching/doing nothing. it truly is not uncommon.

as far as any "blame" for the parents, i'd be careful there. from the article it reads as though the father was to pick his daughter up at the dance, and before that happened friends of hers asked her to another spot to drink. idk what else a parent can do besides arrange to pick up their child at a set time for such an event.

bottomline, it is tragic and disgusting what happened to this girl.

Diffusion of responsibility. Is that the one? I remembered reading about this kind of thing not too long ago and checked the book (Elephants On Acid - Alex Boese)

"The phenomenon the experiment [a staged emergency] demonstrated is called "diffusion of responsibility". When people in groups witness an emergency, they tend to look around and think, "Someone else wil help." No one feels directly responsible. And, consequently, no one does anything."

That's the term I was thinking of. I think that's right.

I saw this story this morning... so disturbing.

cincybearcat

josevolution wrote:

decides2dream wrote:

sadly, i am unsurprised.
there is actually a psych term, which now escapes me, for this very phenomenon. people do 'nothing' b/c they think someone else will do something. that, coupled with fears for themselves. it truly is amazing.

have you never seen the film the accused? http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094608/ jodi foster starred. based on a true story of rape and people watching/doing nothing. it truly is not uncommon.

as far as any "blame" for the parents, i'd be careful there. from the article it reads as though the father was to pick his daughter up at the dance, and before that happened friends of hers asked her to another spot to drink. idk what else a parent can do besides arrange to pick up their child at a set time for such an event.

bottomline, it is tragic and disgusting what happened to this girl.

Yeah i hear you on the parents doing their part but me being a parent of a young girl i don't know :evil: :evil:

So what did the parents do that was so wrong in your opinion?

eMMI

decides2dream wrote:

seriously, it annoys me i cannot think of the psych term. it might be based on a name. it initially got coined around the time a woman got raped - i think perhaps right in queens NY, tho that i am uncertain - but anyhoo, girl was getting attacked/raped....and screaming....all the neighbors around heard, but when question afterwards, just about all said that yes, they heard her screams for help, but none did anything b/c they thought certain someone else would've already have called the ppolice. obviously, other studies into it all, but it a fairly common phenomena. this is why it's said it's better to yell 'fire' than to scream for help, b/c it might call others to action, simply for fear of their own safety.

Kitty Genovese? She was attacked, stabbed and raped in 1964, right outside her building. People heard, lights came on in windows, but no one came to her help.

The experiment I read about in the book I mentioned was conducted shortly after this cause the general public was furious at the behaviour of Genovese's neighbours.

"Genovese's murder caused a public outcry. The people who did nothing were condemned as apatethic and heartless. But Darley and Latané suspected individual psychology had little to do with the witnesses' lack of response. Instead, they suspected group psychology was to blame."

decides2dream

eMMI wrote:

decides2dream wrote:

sadly, i am unsurprised.
there is actually a psych term, which now escapes me, for this very phenomenon. people do 'nothing' b/c they think someone else will do something. that, coupled with fears for themselves. it truly is amazing.

have you never seen the film the accused? http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094608/ jodi foster starred. based on a true story of rape and people watching/doing nothing. it truly is not uncommon.

as far as any "blame" for the parents, i'd be careful there. from the article it reads as though the father was to pick his daughter up at the dance, and before that happened friends of hers asked her to another spot to drink. idk what else a parent can do besides arrange to pick up their child at a set time for such an event.

bottomline, it is tragic and disgusting what happened to this girl.

Diffusion of responsibility. Is that the one? I remembered reading about this kind of thing not too long ago and checked the book (Elephants On Acid - Alex Boese)

"The phenomenon the experiment [a staged emergency] demonstrated is called "diffusion of responsibility". When people in groups witness an emergency, they tend to look around and think, "Someone else wil help." No one feels directly responsible. And, consequently, no one does anything."

sounds spot on, but for whatever reason...ii thought it had an actual person's name attached to it. perhaps it's both? anyhoo, yes, thanks for that. was bugging me.

and one more thing about the parents - i think a big part of my aversion to pointing 'blame' especially to a parent rather than the actual perpetrators for 100% responsibility is this: if it were YOUR child, wouldn't you be devesatated enough to know your daughter raped and beaten...and wouldn't you already be thinking, wow, what could i have done to stop/prevent this?! of course you would! people think...oh should've taught her to be more responsible, to be exactly where you told her to be, not to drink....that you should've been there even earlier, etc, etc. thing is, a parent can do everything "right" and this horrid shit can still happen. and again, i am no parent...but my heart breaks for them in such instances b/c i just imagine all they are going thu....they definitely don't need any blame...and i'll try and shut up on that point now....

decides2dream

eMMI wrote:

decides2dream wrote:

seriously, it annoys me i cannot think of the psych term. it might be based on a name. it initially got coined around the time a woman got raped - i think perhaps right in queens NY, tho that i am uncertain - but anyhoo, girl was getting attacked/raped....and screaming....all the neighbors around heard, but when question afterwards, just about all said that yes, they heard her screams for help, but none did anything b/c they thought certain someone else would've already have called the ppolice. obviously, other studies into it all, but it a fairly common phenomena. this is why it's said it's better to yell 'fire' than to scream for help, b/c it might call others to action, simply for fear of their own safety.

Kitty Genovese? She was attacked, stabbed and raped in 1964, right outside her building. People heard, lights came on in windows, but no one came to her help.

The experiment I read about in the book I mentioned was conducted shortly after this cause the general public was furious at the behaviour of Genovese's neighbours.

"Genovese's murder caused a public outcry. The people who did nothing were condemned as apatethic and heartless. But Darley and Latané suspected individual psychology had little to do with the witnesses' lack of response. Instead, they suspected group psychology was to blame."

thank you!!!

eMMI

decides2dream wrote:

eMMI wrote:

decides2dream wrote:

seriously, it annoys me i cannot think of the psych term. it might be based on a name. it initially got coined around the time a woman got raped - i think perhaps right in queens NY, tho that i am uncertain - but anyhoo, girl was getting attacked/raped....and screaming....all the neighbors around heard, but when question afterwards, just about all said that yes, they heard her screams for help, but none did anything b/c they thought certain someone else would've already have called the ppolice. obviously, other studies into it all, but it a fairly common phenomena. this is why it's said it's better to yell 'fire' than to scream for help, b/c it might call others to action, simply for fear of their own safety.

Kitty Genovese? She was attacked, stabbed and raped in 1964, right outside her building. People heard, lights came on in windows, but no one came to her help.

The experiment I read about in the book I mentioned was conducted shortly after this cause the general public was furious at the behaviour of Genovese's neighbours.

"Genovese's murder caused a public outcry. The people who did nothing were condemned as apatethic and heartless. But Darley and Latané suspected individual psychology had little to do with the witnesses' lack of response. Instead, they suspected group psychology was to blame."

thank you!!!

you're very welcome.

also I agree with you about blaming the parents. really, so many things are just out of their control, no matter how well they've raised their child.

the ones that should get the blame, flame and punishments for this are the guys that actually did it.

my thoughts go out to that girl and her family.

decides2dream

eMMI wrote:

decides2dream wrote:

eMMI wrote:

Kitty Genovese? She was attacked, stabbed and raped in 1964, right outside her building. People heard, lights came on in windows, but no one came to her help.

The experiment I read about in the book I mentioned was conducted shortly after this cause the general public was furious at the behaviour of Genovese's neighbours.

"Genovese's murder caused a public outcry. The people who did nothing were condemned as apatethic and heartless. But Darley and Latané suspected individual psychology had little to do with the witnesses' lack of response. Instead, they suspected group psychology was to blame."

thank you!!!

you're very welcome.

also I agree with you about blaming the parents. really, so many things are just out of their control, no matter how well they've raised their child.

the ones that should get the blame, flame and punishments for this are the guys that actually did it.

my thoughts go out to that girl and her family.

absolutely.
we can all look back and say...shoulda, woulda, coulda...but it doesn't matter. the men or boys who did this are 100% responsibile, no one else. and it's disgusting and horrid.

and thank you bringing me back almost 20 years to the psych class i first learned that term. i can 'hear' my prof discussing it, the names, facts, etc. *whew* this is not the first time it's come up, and it always bugs me when i can't remember....and then the convo ends, i forget about it and never look it up...and then it comes up again. :evil: i think now i will actully remember all this for future discussions...

eMMI

decides2dream wrote:

eMMI wrote:

you're very welcome.

also I agree with you about blaming the parents. really, so many things are just out of their control, no matter how well they've raised their child.

the ones that should get the blame, flame and punishments for this are the guys that actually did it.

my thoughts go out to that girl and her family.

absolutely.
we can all look back and say...shoulda, woulda, coulda...but it doesn't matter. the men or boys who did this are 100% responsibile, no one else. and it's disgusting and horrid.

I couldn't agree more.

decides2dream wrote:

and thank you bringing me back almost 20 years to the psych class i first learned that term. i can 'hear' my prof discussing it, the names, facts, etc. *whew* this is not the first time it's come up, and it always bugs me when i can't remember....and then the convo ends, i forget about it and never look it up...and then it comes up again. :evil: i think now i will actully remember all this for future discussions...

no worries. funny (lucky) thing I'd just been reading about it, and in English too so I didn't have to go through all translating stuffs!

decides2dream

eMMI wrote:

decides2dream wrote:

eMMI wrote:

you're very welcome.

also I agree with you about blaming the parents. really, so many things are just out of their control, no matter how well they've raised their child.

the ones that should get the blame, flame and punishments for this are the guys that actually did it.

my thoughts go out to that girl and her family.

absolutely.
we can all look back and say...shoulda, woulda, coulda...but it doesn't matter. the men or boys who did this are 100% responsibile, no one else. and it's disgusting and horrid.

I couldn't agree more.

decides2dream wrote:

and thank you bringing me back almost 20 years to the psych class i first learned that term. i can 'hear' my prof discussing it, the names, facts, etc. *whew* this is not the first time it's come up, and it always bugs me when i can't remember....and then the convo ends, i forget about it and never look it up...and then it comes up again. :evil: i think now i will actully remember all this for future discussions...

no worries. funny (lucky) thing I'd just been reading about it, and in English too so I didn't have to go through all translating stuffs!

you're a peach!



and i'll say, still thinking about this. 15. that poor girl! 15!!! i mean, it's horrid at ANY age, but so young...and seriously, gang-rape....2 hours......:silent:

i think back to being 15 - yesi toowas once 15 - and i think of my mindset, my behavior, my parents, my upbringing, choices i've made...and hell, i was a smart girl, lots of family support, well taught, well brought up, etc, etc...and i too still managed to make risky choices in my life, a few times over. i sometimes look back at some of the seriously dumb shit i've done and think...wow, i was lucky! sadly, we don't all get to be lucky...


this poor girl and her family...

Claireack

This is a horrible report.

I went on a self protection course ages ago and they told us not to yell rape, but to yell fire or something else as more people are likely to come to your aid. V sad.

decides2dream

Claireack wrote:

This is a horrible report.

I went on a self protection course ages ago and they told us not to yell rape, but to yell fire or something else as more people are likely to come to your aid. V sad.

decides2dream wrote:

this is why it's said it's better to yell 'fire' than to scream for help, b/c it might call others to action, simply for fear of their own safety.

glad that either side of the pond, we've all got that same information. sad thing is, in such times of utter distress, will one think clearly enough to follow what we 'know'.......?

kenny olav

This is horrible news, and if you click on the AOL link and look thru all of the 52 photos of "news that shocked us"... it's just sickening that all of these things can happen during one news cycle!! It's sickening that these things happen at all... man... now I understand why the news runs stories about puppies and kittens too.

josevolution

Ok maybe i worded it wrong and i don't place the blame of the parents but maybe their judgement ,it states that she was walking to meet him to get a ride home so my ?? is when she doesn't show up what happens then that is what i'm having a problem comprehendin ,if i'm to meet my daughter to pick her up and she doesn't show it would raise a red flag no ? i mean it states that she was attacked for 2hrs not ten mnts :?: ....

decides2dream

josevolution wrote:

Ok maybe i worded it wrong and i don't place the blame of the parents but maybe their judgement ,it states that she was walking to meet him to get a ride home so my ?? is when she doesn't show up what happens then that is what i'm having a problem comprehendin ,if i'm to meet my daughter to pick her up and she doesn't show it would raise a red flag no ? i mean it states that she was attacked for 2hrs not ten mnts :?: ....

thing is, there IS a lot of blanks in all this...so why automatically assume there is some flaw in their judgement? perhaps she left earlier than she was supposed to....perhaps wherever she went with her friends her father couldn't find her?

what would YOU have done differently that you think would've stopped it from happening? even IF you arranged to meet your daughter at a specified time/place...and you were on time, even early at said time/place.....there are many possibilities whereas that wouldn't make a shit of difference. such as, your daughter leaving from a different exit, leaving a bit earlier to go with friends, etc, etc. so even if you were there and frantically looked for her immediately....bad things still could have happened. i just think you are focusing on the wrong thing here. it is not her parents fault she got raped. it is not her fault she got raped. it is 100% the fault of these men who attacked her, plain and simple. what good does questioning the parent's 'judgement'...or suggesting 'blame'....b/c it does not help them or their daughter now. it's all well and good to teach your children and guide them, etc, etc....but bad shit happens to good, well intentioned people all the time. again, i understand that as a parent you surely, subconsciously, want to see something she or her parents did 'wrong'...and that you do 'right'....so that you can sleep at night and imagine your daughter is 100% safe from this ever happening to her. i hate to say it - but she isn't, your wife isn't, your sister, me, or anyone. sure, absolutely....judgement can come into play - to a certain extent - being careful of who and where you are, etc, etc.....but bottomline - her parents have no blame/judgement in this. even the poor girl, one could suggest she wasn't smart for her own safety and all....but tell me someone who never makes a bad decision or a stupid choice.....and then tell me how many countless of us 0 and i includ myself there - lucky to never had anything happen to us? it could easily be *any*one's daughter that this happens to. if anything, i would think the area the school was in is more important, is it safe? is it known to be dangerous? i just question why you focus on the dad, and not the horrific individuals who did this?

josevolution

D2D i do place all the blame on the dirt bags who did this , but me being a parent i allways feel the feeling of i should of could of done this to prevent stigma, even when my kids would fall or what ever happened to one of them i'm allways saying/asking myself i should of been/done this differently if that makes any sense ,i feel terrible for this girl & family ...

Cosmo

I think the term being sought here is 'The Bystander Effect'... the greater the number of witnesses, the less likely an individual will help a victim in distress.
ref. http://psychology.about.com/od/socialps ... effect.htm
...
As for being a Hero...
We all can SAY we would do something if this happened or if you saw that... but we cannot say it without having lived through it. Hundreds of people stood on the shore and bridges as a plane crashed into the ice filled Potomac River watching a stewardess lose her grip ot a helicoptered lifeline and go under... ONE man jumped in the water to save her.
In this case, you'd think someone would have called 911 and reported it anonomously.
...
Blame the parent... I don't think so.
Blame the moronic pride in 'Not being a Snitch'... yup. If you see a crime... you are supposed to do something. Not necessarilty intervene and place yourself in harm's way.. but, at LEAST... report it to the cops. By not doing so... sure, you can feel proud about yourself for not being a snitch. But, you are also a coward and an apathetic dick.

cincybearcat

Cosmo wrote:

IBlame the moronic pride in 'Not being a Snitch'... yup. If you see a crime... you are supposed to do something. Not necessarilty intervene and place yourself in harm's way.. but, at LEAST... report it to the cops. By not doing so... sure, you can feel proud about yourself for not being a snitch. But, you are also a coward and an apathetic dick.

I'd say you are also an accomplice...a cowardly, apathetic dick accomplice.

know1

eMMI wrote:

also I agree with you about blaming the parents. really, so many things are just out of their control, no matter how well they've raised their child.

the ones that should get the blame, flame and punishments for this are the guys that actually did it.

my thoughts go out to that girl and her family.

I've always maintained that if we started actually punishing parents with jail times for the crimes their children commit that, suddenly, a lot more things that would be in their control that they claim aren't now.

eMMI

know1 wrote:

eMMI wrote:

also I agree with you about blaming the parents. really, so many things are just out of their control, no matter how well they've raised their child.

the ones that should get the blame, flame and punishments for this are the guys that actually did it.

my thoughts go out to that girl and her family.

I've always maintained that if we started actually punishing parents with jail times for the crimes their children commit that, suddenly, a lot more things that would be in their control that they claim aren't now.

really?

while I do think many times children's bad behaviour is the fault of the parents. whether that's having no boundaries, having too strict boundaries, violence, what have you.. there are so many things parents (or people in general) simply cannot control.

there will always be parents whose children commit the most horrendous crimes for whatever reasons. crimes their parents will have no way of preventing - should those parents still be punished?

blackredyellow

know1 wrote:

eMMI wrote:

also I agree with you about blaming the parents. really, so many things are just out of their control, no matter how well they've raised their child.

the ones that should get the blame, flame and punishments for this are the guys that actually did it.

my thoughts go out to that girl and her family.

I've always maintained that if we started actually punishing parents with jail times for the crimes their children commit that, suddenly, a lot more things that would be in their control that they claim aren't now.

We'd have a lot more terribly behaved teenage children in the foster kid system who have parents in jail... sounds like a terrible solution.

Cosmo

cincybearcat wrote:

Cosmo wrote:

I Blame the moronic pride in 'Not being a Snitch'... yup. If you see a crime... you are supposed to do something. Not necessarilty intervene and place yourself in harm's way.. but, at LEAST... report it to the cops. By not doing so... sure, you can feel proud about yourself for not being a snitch. But, you are also a coward and an apathetic dick.

I'd say you are also an accomplice...a cowardly, apathetic dick accomplice.

...
I agree. Dialing 911 is no heroic act... but, it should be the LEAST you should do if you ever witness a crime.

Cosmo

know1 wrote:

eMMI wrote:

also I agree with you about blaming the parents. really, so many things are just out of their control, no matter how well they've raised their child.

the ones that should get the blame, flame and punishments for this are the guys that actually did it.

my thoughts go out to that girl and her family.

I've always maintained that if we started actually punishing parents with jail times for the crimes their children commit that, suddenly, a lot more things that would be in their control that they claim aren't now.

...
This has GOT to be a joke.
...
... right?

decides2dream

josevolution wrote:

D2D i do place all the blame on the dirt bags who did this , but me being a parent i allways feel the feeling of i should of could of done this to prevent stigma, even when my kids would fall or what ever happened to one of them i'm allways saying/asking myself i should of been/done this differently if that makes any sense ,i feel terrible for this girl & family ...

i hear ya jose, i really, really do. and maybe, as not being a parenti can, possibly, be a bit more objective? idk, not saying that with any certainty. that said, you mention "stigma" and that is exactly what i am thinking of; this girl, her parents, are hurting enough....they do not need anyone else second-guessing or questioning their behaviors. they are not to blame. of course i understand the, or you, or anyone in such a horrid position questioning themselves....tis human nature. i just think that is more than enough and that we collectively, do not need to add to that burden. i think all too often i read things that go right to the parents, such as your OP, and it just pains me b/c that is not where we should immediately look all the time. that's all.

Cosmo wrote:

know1 wrote:

eMMI wrote:

also I agree with you about blaming the parents. really, so many things are just out of their control, no matter how well they've raised their child.

the ones that should get the blame, flame and punishments for this are the guys that actually did it.

my thoughts go out to that girl and her family.

I've always maintained that if we started actually punishing parents with jail times for the crimes their children commit that, suddenly, a lot more things that would be in their control that they claim aren't now.

...
This has GOT to be a joke.
...
... right?

especially coming from someone who usually is the first to espouse "personal responisibility." the sins of the children do not necessarily reflect on the parents, and vice versa.


and...

Cosmo wrote:

I think the term being sought here is 'The Bystander Effect'... the greater the number of witnesses, the less likely an individual will help a victim in distress.
ref. http://psychology.about.com/od/socialps ... effect.htm

exactly.
just what i was thinking of, and emmi helped it along...
kitty genovese...the bystander effect....diffusion of responsibility...

soulsinging

Cosmo wrote:

cincybearcat wrote:

Cosmo wrote:

I Blame the moronic pride in 'Not being a Snitch'... yup. If you see a crime... you are supposed to do something. Not necessarilty intervene and place yourself in harm's way.. but, at LEAST... report it to the cops. By not doing so... sure, you can feel proud about yourself for not being a snitch. But, you are also a coward and an apathetic dick.

I'd say you are also an accomplice...a cowardly, apathetic dick accomplice.

...
I agree. Dialing 911 is no heroic act... but, it should be the LEAST you should do if you ever witness a crime.

depends on the crime.