to dump, or to be dumped?

soulsinging
soulsinging Posts: 13,202
edited October 2009 in All Encompassing Trip
which is worse?

i thought i knew... i'm not so sure anymore.
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • aNiMaL
    aNiMaL Posts: 7,117
    Yeah, that is really kind of a toss up depending on the situation. Both can really suck big time.
  • norm
    norm Posts: 31,146
    hurting someone or getting hurt

    me i'll take the pain...hate the feeling of hurting someone else...that never goes away (for me)
  • jimed14
    jimed14 Posts: 9,488
    yeah ... for years I was always the breaker upper, the dumper ... and I thought to myself, "man, I wish it were me taking the pain."

    Then I was broken up with, the dumpee ... fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck that :evil: ... let me be the one that calls it off.

    (Note - if it's a mutual thing ... then yeah, I'd rather her make the call.)
    "You're one of the few Red Sox fans I don't mind." - Newch91

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  • Getting dumped hurts more IMO. But in the end both situations are not good.
  • 81
    81 Needing a ride to Forest Hills and a ounce of weed. Please inquire within. Thanks. Or not. Posts: 58,276
    pics of chick so we can decide :mrgreen:
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • aNiMaL
    aNiMaL Posts: 7,117
    81 wrote:
    pics of chick so we can decide :mrgreen:
    :lol::lol::lol:
  • Indifference71
    Indifference71 Chicago Posts: 14,922
    Both are an absolutely terrible feeling. I think getting dumped is just a bit worse.
  • Lauri
    Lauri Posts: 748
    both suck, but I think being dumped is worse. especially if there's someone else involved.
  • soulsinging
    soulsinging Posts: 13,202
    edited October 2009
    81 wrote:
    pics of chick so we can decide :mrgreen:

    i thought i was a dick


    but that was pretty funny ;)
    Post edited by soulsinging on
  • ZiggyStar
    ZiggyStar Posts: 14,328
    I've never done it or had it done to me.......thankfully
    ★ 1995 - Brisbane ★ 1998 - Brisbane ★ 2003 - Brisbane ★ 2006 - Brisbane ★
    ★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
    ★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
  • norm wrote:
    hurting someone or getting hurt

    me i'll take the pain...hate the feeling of hurting someone else...that never goes away (for me)
    agreed
    I will be what i could be
    Once I get out of this town


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  • Jennytree
    Jennytree Posts: 5,340
    I guess the only advantage (for lack of a better word) in being the one doing the breaking up is that you have a head-start in thinking it through, and you won't have that 'shock' and the 'why me' aspect of it.
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  • Thoughts_Arrive
    Thoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    To be dumped, at least you won't feel like the a'hole.
    To dump someone is hard to do.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Get_Right
    Get_Right Posts: 14,201
    to be dumped
    especially when you dont want it to end
    man thats the worst
  • I've done both... neither is very nice.
    Been to this many PJ shows: Reading 2006 London 2007 Manchester & London 2009 Dublin, Belfast, London, Nijmegen & Berlin 2010 Manchester 1 & Manchester 2 2012...

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  • BinFrog
    BinFrog MA Posts: 7,314
    I have been on both sides, and both suck.

    If you are blindsided by your significant other, you don't know how to react. Luckily this hasn't happened to me in about 15 years.

    But...

    If you have been agonizing over ending a relationship for weeks or months, the anticipation and lead-up to the final act can be excruciating. I had to do this 3 1/2 years ago. It was 100% the right decision, and I knew it was coming for months, but it still didn't make it any easier.

    But now I'm married to the greatest girl in the world :)
    Bright eyed kid: "Wow Typo Man, you're the best!"
    Typo Man: "Thanks kidz, but remembir, stay in skool!"
  • decides2dream
    decides2dream Posts: 14,977
    norm wrote:
    hurting someone or getting hurt

    me i'll take the pain...hate the feeling of hurting someone else...that never goes away (for me)


    awww cmon, are you saying you still feel bad about breaking up with some girl in 10th grade? :P
    as someone else mentioned, both suck, for differing reasons tho the main reason - the end of love/lust/deep like, whatever it was. whether you realize it first or your partner, or mutually decided upon, it STILL sucks. however, i imagine being dumped is a wee bit worse. bottomline, ending relationships is very painful, even if you know it's for the best for both of you.
    Stay with me...
    Let's just breathe...


    I am myself like you somehow


  • libragirl
    libragirl Posts: 4,632
    I've done both... neither is very nice.

    I agree.
    These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
  • soulsinging
    soulsinging Posts: 13,202
    Lauri wrote:
    both suck, but I think being dumped is worse. especially if there's someone else involved.

    I used to feel that way... that ripped me up pretty good. I think getting dumped is one thing, but if they leave you for someone else... that's pretty awful. but now... i dunno, i feel pretty shitty on the other end too, in a totally different way.

    when you get dumped, to an extent you have a luxury in hating or resenting or blaming the other person. it hurts, bad, but you can take out the pain on them. when you do the dumping... like someone above said, that doesn't go away for me. too much a guilt-prone catholic i guess. and you know you're hurting someone you care about and it kinda makes you feel sick or hate yourself even though you know it's irrational. however, i think it may be a slightly different story if you're not just getting dumped, but being left for someone else... that really pulls the rug out and you wonder how you could have missed it or been so foolish. you can still blame the other person, but part of you also kinda wonders what's wrong with you and why that other person was better... so it's like the worst of both worlds. that one might take the cake.
  • decides2dream
    decides2dream Posts: 14,977
    Lauri wrote:
    both suck, but I think being dumped is worse. especially if there's someone else involved.

    I used to feel that way... that ripped me up pretty good. I think getting dumped is one thing, but if they leave you for someone else... that's pretty awful. but now... i dunno, i feel pretty shitty on the other end too, in a totally different way.

    when you get dumped, to an extent you have a luxury in hating or resenting or blaming the other person. it hurts, bad, but you can take out the pain on them. when you do the dumping... like someone above said, that doesn't go away for me. too much a guilt-prone catholic i guess. and you know you're hurting someone you care about and it kinda makes you feel sick or hate yourself even though you know it's irrational. however, i think it may be a slightly different story if you're not just getting dumped, but being left for someone else... that really pulls the rug out and you wonder how you could have missed it or been so foolish. you can still blame the other person, but part of you also kinda wonders what's wrong with you and why that other person was better... so it's like the worst of both worlds. that one might take the cake.


    try to look at it this way:
    you know you're not right for each other, so how would it be at all better to keep stringing her along, making her think you may be *the one*...and she just invests more of her time, herself, into you? so sure, it hurts her now, it hurts you now....but honestly, the guilt...you'll get past it as you well should. i think it's far, far worse to string someone along when you realize he or she isn't *it* for you anymore. it WILL get better, for both of you....seperately.
    Stay with me...
    Let's just breathe...


    I am myself like you somehow