Pearl Jam Parenting Thread

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  • My wife and I are expecting baby number 1 in February

    I'm sure this thread will come in handy !!

    :D
    My drinking team has a hockey problem

    The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill



    A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
  • This swing rules:

    http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product. ... gMethod=rr

    There are several different versions of it, but this is basically just like the one we had.
  • tacettacet Posts: 323
    Under no circumstances should you ever take your child into a Wal-mart if they are screaming
    uncontrollably because there are crusty old men about who will first issue you a warning to either
    make your child stop or he will do it himself.
    we're all sentient snowflakes
  • ClaireackClaireack Posts: 13,561
    We have a son, Hal, who is 12.

    Colic was a nightmare, and unfortunately I had post natal depression which was tough. But having a child is the most fantastic thing in the world. I've loved everything about him growing up, every new phase has been as exciting for me as for him. I know the teens are coming up and it's going to be pretty tough at times, but he'll still be my boy and I'll just try and remind myself of what I was like back then.

    Birth Story;

    He came along a couple of weeks early, so it was a bit of a surprise. My first sign of impending birth, was waking up at 5 in the morning starving. So I got up and ate a lot. Then at about 10.30, started getting the odd twinge, so I sent my husband out to buy bread and milk (not sure why seemed sensible at the time, it was Christmas eve). By about three, was really getting uncomfortable so I phoned the midwife, she told me I wasn't in labour, it was too early, it was probably practice contractions and to take a bath. Took a bath and decided that if this was a practice run the baby could stay in there. At about 5 decided I better get checked out. Yes, I was in labour. Strapped on the tens machine and went home for a bit. Tried between contractions to eat a bit of tea, my friend arrived, as my husband said he wasn't going to stay til the very end.

    About 8 decided I probably better get back to the hospital and it was getting quite painful. My waters still hadn't broken and no show of any description. About 9 o'clock the midwife said would I like to try gas & air to help with the pain. Tried it and didn't like it much so said no thank you. Watched a bit of tv. About 10.30 decided the gas and air wasn't too bad after all and would give it another go. After this wouldn't let anybody remove it from my face and my tens machine was permanently on boost. 11ish went into the delivery room, managed to get on all fours and press the gas and air mask against the head of the bed so I didn't have to hold it. Obviously wasn't such a good move as I then thought I was alternatively in a space invader game or at work. Had given up on the tens machine as it now wasn't having any effect on the pain. At about 12 changed my mind and decided I wasn't going to have the baby and wanted to go home - they wouldn't let me. The next couple of hours were really tough, I think I yelled quite a lot and unfortunately bit my friends hand. At some point my husband nipped out for a smoke of something to calm him down. After much pushing at 2.07 on Christmas morning out popped my baby boy, with my friend and my husband present.

    When my husband held him for the first time, looked at him and said how handsome was was probably one of the most wonderful moments of my life.

    The thing is with the labour/birth is that yes, it is bloody painful, but it's just one day and as soon as the baby pops out the pain stops. It was only the last 20 minutes that I really wanted something more for the pain and by then it was too late. Keep your options for pain relief open, don't commit to anything that needs to be set in stone. I felt like my body went into autopilot and just went along with what ever it was doing. I am not a calm person, I don't like pain, but I got through it and got the best christmas present ever!!!

    Good luck with it all - not long now!!
  • CateetoCateeto Posts: 377
    Okay parents... I have a baby shower that my family has planned to throw me on October 3rd. I'm no good at making registries at all... I have quite a few items on there, but I'm lost in terms of the essentials. Also, I don't know how much is too much to put on the registry or the way that works. There are so many rules to follow as far as showers go, I'm discovering, and I'm really lost!

    What products have improved your life with your baby?

    I'm going to be a stay at home mother and try to exclusively breastfeed, so I'm putting a manual breast pump on my registry and I plan to use the Moby wrap a lot. I hear nothing but good reviews on that one. Also, I'm thinking about buying a kit to make my own baby food. I hear you can save tons of money on that.

    We should totally share pictures of our kids on here or our pregnant bellies too. Are we able to post photos directly to the board now? I'm afraid there is a lot of catching up to do as far as this board goes for me :?
  • CateetoCateeto Posts: 377

    My husband and I tell everyone we know that's even THINKING about having a baby to get a swing before you even buy anything else! It seriously changed my life. Up until we got it, I was holding the baby nonstop...could hardly put her down to go to the bathroom or take a drink. There were seriously days where I would realize at 3 pm that I hadn't had a drink or any food... :lol:
    Funny you mention the swing... That was the FIRST baby item I insisted on getting when we found out I was pregnant. I have a handful of nieces and nephews that I've helped take care over the years and my god is that thing a godsend! It will hush the baby nearly every time! I was so ecstatic when we got the swing. I just knew it would probably help me with so many things in the near future.
  • CateetoCateeto Posts: 377
    My wife and I are expecting baby number 1 in February

    I'm sure this thread will come in handy !!

    :D
    Oooooh congrats to you! Make sure you give you wife all sorts of pampering! :D It's crazy expecting your first, isn't it? Literally, the day you find out you're going to be a parent, you look at EVERYTHING differently. And I don't know about you, but my mind doesn't stop with the thoughts of my infant.
  • Cateeto wrote:
    Thanks for all of the congrats guys! I'm quite excited about being a mom :D

    Dads are welcome too for sure! It's nice to hear from both parents. Seems as though we have quite a few of you in the crowd...

    Any interesting birth stories out there? I'm going to be 8 months pregnant on Wednesday so my child's arrival is very soon. Needless to say, I'm quite freaked out about the labor and birth, but also fascinated by the story is may provide. Maybe I'll have a Thanksgiving baby or something ;)

    Congrats Cateeto :)
    I have two kids - a 6 year old girl and a boy that will be 4 in a couple weeks.

    My daughters' birth was quite the dramatic event....she was way overdue so my ex was induced...after 14 hrs and very little change, they decided it was becoming too stressful on the baby so they tried the forceps...this did nothing but give my girl brutal cuts/friction burns on her face ( :( )....so, emergency c-section it was....
    When they began the incision, my ex screamed that she could feel them cutting....so the anesthesiologist (is that the title? :lol: ) pulls out this big-ass syringe...I ask what it is and he tells me Ketamine....I say, "like...K? the street drug?" which made the whole OR start laughing....they gave it to her and she was instantly 100% out of it....her eyes rolled back and her jaw locked in an open position.....at that point, they made me leave the room. But they basically pushed me out the door by myself without explanation....so I stood there panicking for about 10 minutes (seemed like a lifetime) before I heard a baby cry and they came to get me.
    Everything turned out alright...the marks from the forceps healed fully, mom recovered nicely, and our girl was healthy and happy :) Mom missed out on the first feeding and bath since she was stoned out of her mind, but other than that, it was all good.
    Hope yours goes much more smoothly :)....and sorry if I freaked you out ;)
  • Cateeto wrote:
    Okay parents... I have a baby shower that my family has planned to throw me on October 3rd. I'm no good at making registries at all... I have quite a few items on there, but I'm lost in terms of the essentials. Also, I don't know how much is too much to put on the registry or the way that works. There are so many rules to follow as far as showers go, I'm discovering, and I'm really lost!

    What products have improved your life with your baby?

    I'm going to be a stay at home mother and try to exclusively breastfeed, so I'm putting a manual breast pump on my registry and I plan to use the Moby wrap a lot. I hear nothing but good reviews on that one. Also, I'm thinking about buying a kit to make my own baby food. I hear you can save tons of money on that.

    We should totally share pictures of our kids on here or our pregnant bellies too. Are we able to post photos directly to the board now? I'm afraid there is a lot of catching up to do as far as this board goes for me :?


    I can only speak from our experience with our one child, so chances are you will get some conflicting info, but...

    The biggest waste of money that we got as a present (which we registered for) was a big stroller... I forget the brand, but it was one of those sets where you get the car seat carrier thing that snaps into the base and comes with a stroller that it snaps in to. We used the carrier/base all of the time, but probably used that stroller 10 times. We usually just carried the carrier thing, and when he was a little older we got a cheap $20 umbrella stroller which we used a lot. That big one took up most of the trunk when folded, so we hardly took it anywhere.

    And I don't know about a manual breast pump, maybe some women had luck with it, but I can tell you after being sleep deprived and everything else, the last think that my wife would have wanted to do was to manually pump... we splurged on a power one and that was probably the one thing that kept my wife from quitting breastfeeding.
    My whole life
    was like a picture
    of a sunny day
    “We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
    ― Abraham Lincoln


  • I can only speak from our experience with our one child, so chances are you will get some conflicting info, but...

    The biggest waste of money that we got as a present (which we registered for) was a big stroller... I forget the brand, but it was one of those sets where you get the car seat carrier thing that snaps into the base and comes with a stroller that it snaps in to. We used the carrier/base all of the time, but probably used that stroller 10 times. We usually just carried the carrier thing, and when he was a little older we got a cheap $20 umbrella stroller which we used a lot. That big one took up most of the trunk when folded, so we hardly took it anywhere.

    And I don't know about a manual breast pump, maybe some women had luck with it, but I can tell you after being sleep deprived and everything else, the last think that my wife would have wanted to do was to manually pump... we splurged on a power one and that was probably the one thing that kept my wife from quitting breastfeeding.
    Totally agree on the big stroller....
    As for the electric pump....not sure where you are Cateeto....and this sounds kinda weird... but Shopper's Drug Mart (in Canada) rents them out... if you don't plan to breast feed for years, might be worth looking into renting...
    Just hold on tight the first time you use it. The first time my ex turned it on while attached to her breast was one of the funniest things I've ever seen.
  • StaffanStaffan Posts: 606
    I have a 12 week old boy who is still going through the colicky thing... we went from two incomes to one a few months ago... and I'm getting hardly any sleep. Our baby boy makes me so happy... but when does it get easier??? :?

    our youngest is 4 weeks, he goes on four a couple of hours from 10 pm, but we can still handle it,my oldest had the same thing, but she NEVER slept for the first three months, then we switched to lactatefree baby gruel (don't know if thats the correct word but you get the idea), after two meals she slept like an angel :)

    Try to get some sleep whenever you can, every hour counts, eventually it will go away, its a short period relatively seen ;)

    btw I'm a father of 4 kids, 19, 14 & 3 yrs and 3 weeks old "no-name-still"

    Hang in there

    Peace
    you could check this out

    http://www.parenting.com/article/Baby/H ... c-Be-Cured
    Everyday................is Pearl Jam Day.

    Except Sundays, that's Ed day.

    The mind is like a parachute, it doesn't work unless it's open. FZ

  • FlaggFlagg Posts: 5,856
    SS25454 wrote:
    Under no circumstances should you ever take your child into a Wal-mart if they are screaming
    uncontrollably because there are crusty old men about who will first issue you a warning to either
    make your child stop or he will do it himself.

    And then a bunch of Pearl Jam fans will defend his actions.
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  • youngsteryoungster Boston Posts: 6,576
    Congratulations Cateeto. My wife and I's first son will be turning 2 on November 15th and she is expecting our daughter around January 22nd. It is such and exciting and overwhelming time but it is so worth it. I didn't read the thread but do you know what gender you are having? Nathan is just learning how to say Pearl Jam so that is cool. Good Luck with the rest of the prgnancy. Hope everything comes out OK. ;):D
    He who forgets will be destined to remember.

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  • JaneNYJaneNY Posts: 4,438

    My husband and I tell everyone we know that's even THINKING about having a baby to get a swing before you even buy anything else! It seriously changed my life. Up until we got it, I was holding the baby nonstop...could hardly put her down to go to the bathroom or take a drink. There were seriously days where I would realize at 3 pm that I hadn't had a drink or any food... :lol:

    Yes, been there done that - couldn't put her down. In the hospital she was the rocking cradle hog we were told because she screamed a lot. The nurses finally just left her with me pretty much round the clock. The swing is awesome. We all survived. She is now 19 1/2, and still looks to me for food if she's hungry. The other one is 15 1/2. A baby sling is also a good idea - sometimes just wearing the baby on your body quiets them down.
    R.i.p. Rigoberto Alpizar.
    R.i.p. My Dad - May 28, 2007
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  • CateetoCateeto Posts: 377
    Congratulations Cateeto. My wife and I's first son will be turning 2 on November 15th and she is expecting our daughter around January 22nd. It is such and exciting and overwhelming time but it is so worth it. I didn't read the thread but do you know what gender you are having? Nathan is just learning how to say Pearl Jam so that is cool. Good Luck with the rest of the prgnancy. Hope everything comes out OK. ;):D

    Oooooh congrats to you too! Seems like you're going to have a nice little family going... We did discover that we are going to have a girl. Deciding to find out the sex disappointed me at first because we had hoped and planned to keep it a surprise ever since we decided to be parents, but given our unique situation with finding out so late in the pregnancy, we decided that it would just be a lot easier to find out the sex and buy the appropriate items. It's so impossible to find neutral baby clothing... I mean, yeah, sure it's available, but so many stores are entirely gender specific! We figure we'll keep the sex of our next child a secret and have more fun that way.

    But finding out the sex was actually really a nice moment in the pregnancy. We have always wanted a girl. The two of us have always had this strong feeling beforehand that our first child would be a girl... And when we discovered I was pregnant, for whatever reason, we both just KNEW it was a boy. We would have been fine either way, but when the ultrasound tech told us it was a girl, the look the two of us exchanged to each other was one I'll never forget. We were so shocked and ecstatic and could not stop grinning for the rest of the day.

    Now... That tech wasn't 100% positive it is a girl... My baby was being quite difficult, but she checked over and over again, finding no extra parts and told us that she was quite confident in her decision. Everyone has been buying her tons of girly stuff, so if it's a boy... He's going to be quite feminine looking for the first few months :lol:
  • JoJo Posts: 2,098
    This is a cool thread and I've enjoyed all the posts, so thanks.
    I have 4 boys - 7, 5 and 3yrl twins, so at one point there, I had 4 boys, 4 years old and under.
    The only bad moment I had was missing a Pearl Jam concert, because the twins were only months old and I was breast feeding. The rest is a fantastic challenge, and I'm loving it - most of the time.
    I didn't get much help from anybody so I think surviving it all is a God given talent. ( oh, and wine ;) )
  • I've been thinking about the items I couldn't live without. Glad to hear you already have the swing! :D

    If you're going to be home with the baby, a manual pump is probably all you need. I used both. I was able to get a little more milk out with the electric pump...sometimes twice as much, and obviously it took half the time since it did both at once. This was important for me because my baby wouldn't latch and I was exclusively pumping. (Trying to keep up with pumping and feeding with the manual drove me nuts, which is why we got the electric.) But, as long as your baby has a good latch and you won't need to pump every day at a job or something, you should be fine with the manual. If you do go with the electric one, I would recommend looking on ebay for the pump, since the parts that attach to you and anything that would actually touch the milk can be purchased separately.

    We also used the boppy pillow a lot. Even just for bottle feeding, it just made it easier. Even my husband used it. :)

    We also got a lot of use out of the carseat/stroller frame combo. I hated the stroller that I got with the carseat, and ended up using the stroller frame for a long time. It's also great if you're travelling.
  • ClaireackClaireack Posts: 13,561
    Cateeto wrote:
    What products have improved your life with your baby?

    A papoose (not sure how you spell it). One where the baby is facing you. Hal loved it when he was tiny, he just snuggled in and slept when we went anywhere, plus it was easier to get around the shops. One thing I wished I'd had but they weren't so common then was an off-road pushchair, three wheeler variety, probably everyone has them now, I really struggled when we went for off road walks with a four wheeler and had to drag it behind me. A back pack for the baby to sit in when a little older, they're really handy too. He also loved his bouncy chair that you hang from a door frame and they can jump up and down under their own steam, obviously not for a newborn. Oh, one of those arched things (can't remember the name) that the baby can lie under and grab at the things, that was great. What else?? A cd player for their room, when we put Hal to bed we'd always put gentle music on or when he was a little older story cd's.
  • One thing that we did get a lot of use out of was an excersaucer... We got a jumper thing that he sometimes liked, but he would spend MUCH more time in the exersaucer.
    My whole life
    was like a picture
    of a sunny day
    “We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
    ― Abraham Lincoln
  • CateetoCateeto Posts: 377
    Great product suggestions, guys! I put a few of those on my registry and have been eying them up at the stores. I'll definitely be making some purchases!

    Here's another question for parents... How difficult was is to get your child into a routine? How long did it take? What helped you get you and your child more sleep in the long run? I know I'm in for quite a few sleepless nights soon (added to the ones I now have due to her bouncing on my bladder all night!), but if possible, I'd like to get things on a more manageable level sooner rather than later. Someone suggested a book, which I plan to read. Any other suggestions?
  • vduboisevduboise Posts: 1,937
    Cateeto, For your registry, A pack and play is a good option if you don't have the space or if you want something in your room with you for the first few months. We got one from Graco and it has a newborn napper and a changer- which is coming in handy.

    As for routine, I would love to hear some advice on that too. The Pediatrician has me on waking her up every 2-3 hours between 6am- 12 midnight(breastfeeding)- and then give her a bottle at night so that she sleeps a little longer. After 2 days, I'm already off schedule. She just sleeps all the time- having a bit of time keeping her awake (great for the moment!)

    I don't want to be mean about it, but how do you say butt out when the person means a lot to you and you don't want to drive them away? My mom is driving me crazy- especially with the breastfeeding. All her advice is the correct one and the doctors and experts are all wrong. Give me strength!
  • Cateeto wrote:
    Oooooh congrats to you! Make sure you give you wife all sorts of pampering! :D It's crazy expecting your first, isn't it? Literally, the day you find out you're going to be a parent, you look at EVERYTHING differently. And I don't know about you, but my mind doesn't stop with the thoughts of my infant.

    Thank You ! Congrats to you as well

    Yeah..I can't believe its happening..me as a Dad ? Very strange

    I don't know if you saw the earlier thread I posted on how my wife told me ?

    Pretty cool how she sprung the news

    http://forums.pearljam.com/viewtopic.php?f=14&t=108584
    My drinking team has a hockey problem

    The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill



    A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
  • CateetoCateeto Posts: 377
    vduboise wrote:

    I don't want to be mean about it, but how do you say butt out when the person means a lot to you and you don't want to drive them away? My mom is driving me crazy- especially with the breastfeeding. All her advice is the correct one and the doctors and experts are all wrong. Give me strength!

    I'm discovering this problem as well. Initially I just let everyone say their piece and kind of expected these types of statements and forced advice. People are excited and want to say their piece to help influence how we raise our child... But there comes a time when you have to say enough is enough. Be respectful and listen to your mom, but let it go in one ear and out the other if you already know what to do or if a doctor tells you how to do things... If she questions why you don't do what she says just thank her for her input but say that you'd like to do things your own way. She may not take it the best way, but when it comes to parenting you must remember that it's up to YOU to raise the kid, not those around you. If she can't be respectful of that then let her sulk on her own. Most people will still speak up, but after awhile they realize you do things the way you need to do them and hush up. Just give it time :D

    And man, I can't wait until I start getting breastfeeding advice... Hmm... So far my mom has told me to drink a beer every day while breastfeeding... Yeah, uh, not going to happen :P
  • CateetoCateeto Posts: 377

    Thank You ! Congrats to you as well

    Yeah..I can't believe its happening..me as a Dad ? Very strange

    I don't know if you saw the earlier thread I posted on how my wife told me ?

    Pretty cool how she sprung the news

    http://forums.pearljam.com/viewtopic.php?f=14&t=108584

    That is a cool way for her to tell you! That reminds me... I need to purchase some Pearl Jam onesies :D
  • I'm a father of four, three of which are alive and well on this planet. A twelve, ten,(both boys), and a seven year old daughter. All are major blessings. My wife and I had all at home,(home births), guess we are sort of hippies, in the world today. She also breast fed the little tikes well until they were three and a half. (highly rec. getting the book Spiritual Midwifery)

    As a side note, myy seven year old absolutely loves the new PJ yet my oldest gave me the "meh!" rolled his eyes and commented that AIC is out soon! Cute!

    I for one am totally stoked for you and know that whatever your heart tells you with regards to your baby, it is the truth, for when rearing a child, the heart never lies. I really dig parenting.

    Most of my parenting skills can be attributed to my wonderful wife who regularly reminded me to "grow up!" and "you're an example now!" that part sort bites you at times. But it is all good. Keep smiling and have fun, and remember, there is a reason they call it "labor!" Congrats!

    smiles!
  • One thing we're finding out is that lots and lots of the advice and guidance is just that, guidance.

    Our "little" boy is off the chart when it comes to size and weight - he's only 7 months old, but is already the size of a "normal" one year old. It's in his genes (I'm 6ft 7 and my wife is 6ft), but that doesn't stop the health visitors saying that he's too heavy (he's by now means fat) because that's what it says he should be on his chart etc.

    We were planning for a home birth, but then my wife developed pre-eclampsia towards the late stages of pregnancy (1 week before due date) so was hospitalised and monitord. Straighforward birth and being in hospital the first couple of days after the birth were actually a blessing in disguise as there was that little bit more support.

    I guess what I'm saying is, have a plan but be prepared to change and alter it as you go along, don't get yourself too het up on the plan and things "going to plan" - babies are individuals and no two are the same.

    Good luck with it - and keep posting.
    Just a dude growing veg

    haywayne.blogspot.com
  • ClaireackClaireack Posts: 13,561
    Just thought of another thing that would be handy when you start feeding solids - a hand blender and lots of ice cube trays. I used to cook loads of veg, blend it, put it in the ice cube trays then freeze them. Then I would just pop out a few and let them defrost and hey presto - dinner. Don't know how it works with meat though. Veggie.
  • JoJo Posts: 2,098
    By the time the kid is 6 months, you need to introduce sloppy cereal once a day.
    Just a couple of spoonfulls at one meal time, cuppled with milk.
    It is a painstaking effort to introduce solids to your child.
    Once a day,
    After a few days without an adverse reaction,
    introduce mashed Banana, then mashed potatoe and vege..When your Babe is use to that, add something else, but only slowly.
    Your just making sure they don't choke on it, and that they don't have an adverse effect to it,but are going to graduate from breast to solids.
    No Apple or other hard foods unsupervised by Mum or Dad, till way after three.
  • Speaking of feeding - we've found teh products from this place really really good. Very well thought out, and some really helpful features:

    http://www.brothermax.com/home.html

    Not sure if you can get the stuff in the US, but would recommend them if you can.
    Just a dude growing veg

    haywayne.blogspot.com
  • CateetoCateeto Posts: 377
    Claireack wrote:
    Just thought of another thing that would be handy when you start feeding solids - a hand blender and lots of ice cube trays. I used to cook loads of veg, blend it, put it in the ice cube trays then freeze them. Then I would just pop out a few and let them defrost and hey presto - dinner. Don't know how it works with meat though. Veggie.
    I was just going to ask about that! A couple of friends of mine have made baby food and say you can save tons of money. I put a food processor on my registry with a kit to make my own baby food. I think this is a genius idea!

    I need to start buying diapers... I'm clueless as to how many I should buy for a newborn and the first sizes. I'm also clueless as to what diapers are good and which ones are bad. Can anybody recommend some products?
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