I enjoyed riding my bike without a helmet . . .
I enjoyed watching MTV for the music . . .
I enjoyed playing sports with only the winners getting trophy's . . .
I enjoyed TV that wasn't reality based . . .
don't forget television shows made for kids that weren't super cheesy/corny. Adults could actually tolerate them. Also, saturday morning cartoons that were only 2-d animation, no computer generated crap.
As i said, if i spent the majority of my high school life, and all of college, getting increasingly political and radical, holding Strummer, and Marx up as heroes, getting a degree in an overtly political field, and then having to get a job in real life, and having everything that you read and heard about working life, be actually true, that working life is really that demeaning, boring and soulcrushing, why wouldnt i feel so desperate about my situation?
Time and time again, most people choose the easier path. Whether thats going for a degree in a money making field, getting a job in a field that promises fame, wealth and status, or just schlepping along and going to your job day after day, that you hate and despise. For most people, the choice, is work or die. Continue on their downward spiral, do nothing at all, and just see their life waste away.
For me, I wasnt meant for that fate. I am out of step with others my age, and I am out of step with alot of you here, despite our mutual love of a band.
The idea that I would, as a single, 25 year old, with no kids and no mortgage, no car payments, no debt, would feel obligated and forced to stay in any situation I hate, is absolute madness. I wont stand for it.
I control my life. If I hate a situation, this is the time to go about doing something about it.
I feel it is my right to feel as I do, considering my age. Reguardless of that, its how I feel.
I wasnt meant to toil away my life, like that. Its not my destiny. I feel that more than ever.
when I felt stuck in a rut in MN...rather than complaining about it on a message board, I found a place to live in Seattle and moved.
When I felt that the music industry wasn't going to be paying the bills for the lifestyle that I wanted... rather than complaining about it on a message board, i dropped out of art school and enrolled at a community college till I found out what I what major best suited me.
As i said, if i spent the majority of my high school life, and all of college, getting increasingly political and radical, holding Strummer, and Marx up as heroes, getting a degree in an overtly political field, and then having to get a job in real life, and having everything that you read and heard about working life, be actually true, that working life is really that demeaning, boring and soulcrushing, why wouldnt i feel so desperate about my situation?
Time and time again, most people choose the easier path. Whether thats going for a degree in a money making field, getting a job in a field that promises fame, wealth and status, or just schlepping along and going to your job day after day, that you hate and despise. For most people, the choice, is work or die. Continue on their downward spiral, do nothing at all, and just see their life waste away.
For me, I wasnt meant for that fate. I am out of step with others my age, and I am out of step with alot of you here, despite our mutual love of a band.
The idea that I would, as a single, 25 year old, with no kids and no mortgage, no car payments, no debt, would feel obligated and forced to stay in any situation I hate, is absolute madness. I wont stand for it.
I control my life. If I hate a situation, this is the time to go about doing something about it.
I feel it is my right to feel as I do, considering my age. Reguardless of that, its how I feel.
I wasnt meant to toil away my life, like that. Its not my destiny. I feel that more than ever.
then don't stand for it and do something more fulfilling.
as for the topic of this thread.. ( :? ) I don't necessarily wish I could be a kid again, but I do sometimes miss not having as much responsibilities.
at the same time though, I love the fact that I'm in charge of my own life. all the little things as well as the bigger ones. if I don't go to the store, there will be nothing to eat. if I don't pay my bills, I will not have a phone/electricity/internet.
I don't always like going to work and I do dream about winning the lotto ( ) but in general I'm very happy with my life as it is. I wouldn't mind being able to go back and tell my teenaged self to stop being such an intolerable bitch though.
"Don't be faint-hearted, I have a solution! We shall go and commandeer some small craft, then drift at leisure until we happen upon another ideal place for our waterside supper with riparian entertainments."
Something to consider - what did you love most to do as a child? Are you doing it now? You work during the week now, did you go to school during the week as a child? Really, it's always been about the evenings, and weekends, and house-delivered pizza.
I loved to read as a child - it's still my favorite activity. Being an adult is not such a bad state of living. In fact, we should all break out the champagne for surviving adolescence in my opinion
There is no such thing as leftover pizza. There is now pizza and later pizza. - anonymous The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
when I felt stuck in a rut in MN...rather than complaining about it on a message board, I found a place to live in Seattle and moved.
When I felt that the music industry wasn't going to be paying the bills for the lifestyle that I wanted... rather than complaining about it on a message board, i dropped out of art school and enrolled at a community college till I found out what I what major best suited me.
Thats quite an assumption. Have we met? Are we friendly? If not, you dont know a damn thing about me, so dont pretend to.
I dont spend 24 hours a day in front of a computer, and I have left my apartment every day, to go to work, or whatever, so I am not curled in a ball in bed or anything, so I would say your characterization of me is completely inaccurate.
I think the problem comes into play, of myself declaring my view of how things are, or how I view the world, and then trying to implement that in my own life. So in that we do agree. But I dont think I will be beating down your door or PMing you about how you feel I should run my life, mookey, sorry. I got bigger fish to fry.
I think the thing to realize, is, and its backed up by every movie that deals with the so called quarter life crisis, and is backed up by an entire message board community of twenty year olds who are in this crisis, is that trying to figure out how to do what you want to do in life, is something that can bring paralysis and a feeling of being unable to do something. Not knowing where to begin or what to do.
So good for you, you took control of your life. Applause all around. But there are many others like me, who know my life is off track, that I am not living to my full potential, and feel that with every fiber of my being. But we also know that just as strong as that feeling is, another feeling of drifting, of being lost and confused and not knowing what to do, that feeling is just as powerful. And from personal experience, those feelings are overpowering. They are strong.
To feel like you have wasted your life, or that you feel trapped at any age is tough, but I think to feel that way as I do as a 20 year old, I think those feelings are very powerful. As a 80 year old, you may not be able to do anything about regrets or the feelings I described. As a 25 year old, I think there is endless possibilies about what could be done to alleviate it. Thus another branch of the struggle. Too many options. I literally could do anything I wanted to do. Quit job, stay, join the army (as a pacifist its unlikely), move to australia, become a priest and on and on. Thats adds to the pressure.
To feel that life awaits outside of what you are living, that you are destined for something better, that you arent where you are supposed to be, are very strong feelings. And as I said, I am justified in feeling how I do.
Just look at the responses of people to my thread about quitting my job. People were very pessimistic about what would happen if I did it. You dont think that could add to any paralysis and insecurity I may feel? If I feel trapped and like I am wasting away my life, and feel a change is warranted, and then hear a majority of people on here tell me I would be broke and pennyless if I quit, its quite a contradiction. I feel the way I do and feel I need to move on, but people tell me if I leave I would be homeless?
To suggest its a simple matter to figure out life, to find your place in the puzzle called life, thats ignorant at best. And to tell the people who are engaged in this struggle, and who are lost, and having a rough time, that its "oh its so easy you just do this and this" as you did, I think is pretty asinine and childish
was your username something like world turned to black on the old board?
no.
I also love the spirit of the board. I mean, its one thing to offer advice and say, "this is my advice to you" and then say "but its up to you, it will work out either way". Its quite another to do, as many on this board did, to ridicule me, my views, and my life.
What a great community, where a person, who is seeking advice, and is obviously a genuine and contientious person, is told they will be homeless if they make a decision they are considering. Wow, thanks guys.
when I felt stuck in a rut in MN...rather than complaining about it on a message board, I found a place to live in Seattle and moved.
When I felt that the music industry wasn't going to be paying the bills for the lifestyle that I wanted... rather than complaining about it on a message board, i dropped out of art school and enrolled at a community college till I found out what I what major best suited me.
Thats quite an assumption. Have we met? Are we friendly? If not, you dont know a damn thing about me, so dont pretend to.
I dont spend 24 hours a day in front of a computer, and I have left my apartment every day, to go to work, or whatever, so I am not curled in a ball in bed or anything, so I would say your characterization of me is completely inaccurate.
I think the problem comes into play, of myself declaring my view of how things are, or how I view the world, and then trying to implement that in my own life. So in that we do agree. But I dont think I will be beating down your door or PMing you about how you feel I should run my life, mookey, sorry. I got bigger fish to fry.
I think the thing to realize, is, and its backed up by every movie that deals with the so called quarter life crisis, and is backed up by an entire message board community of twenty year olds who are in this crisis, is that trying to figure out how to do what you want to do in life, is something that can bring paralysis and a feeling of being unable to do something. Not knowing where to begin or what to do.
So good for you, you took control of your life. Applause all around. But there are many others like me, who know my life is off track, that I am not living to my full potential, and feel that with every fiber of my being. But we also know that just as strong as that feeling is, another feeling of drifting, of being lost and confused and not knowing what to do, that feeling is just as powerful. And from personal experience, those feelings are overpowering. They are strong.
To feel like you have wasted your life, or that you feel trapped at any age is tough, but I think to feel that way as I do as a 20 year old, I think those feelings are very powerful. As a 80 year old, you may not be able to do anything about regrets or the feelings I described. As a 25 year old, I think there is endless possibilies about what could be done to alleviate it. Thus another branch of the struggle. Too many options. I literally could do anything I wanted to do. Quit job, stay, join the army (as a pacifist its unlikely), move to australia, become a priest and on and on. Thats adds to the pressure.
To feel that life awaits outside of what you are living, that you are destined for something better, that you arent where you are supposed to be, are very strong feelings. And as I said, I am justified in feeling how I do.
Just look at the responses of people to my thread about quitting my job. People were very pessimistic about what would happen if I did it. You dont think that could add to any paralysis and insecurity I may feel? If I feel trapped and like I am wasting away my life, and feel a change is warranted, and then hear a majority of people on here tell me I would be broke and pennyless if I quit, its quite a contradiction. I feel the way I do and feel I need to move on, but people tell me if I leave I would be homeless?
To suggest its a simple matter to figure out life, to find your place in the puzzle called life, thats ignorant at best. And to tell the people who are engaged in this struggle, and who are lost, and having a rough time, that its "oh its so easy you just do this and this" as you did, I think is pretty asinine and childish
holy fuck dude. way to de-rail your own thread. the original topic was fun.
this, back to the other shit.
i gave you the benefit of doubt, now you are back on the same old stuff.
if you are really that unhappy, change can only be made by you.
i'm not bashing, but listen to yourself.
you dont sound spoiled to me, but rather out of touch with reality.
i dont know.
good luck man.
Peace, Love.
"To question your government is not unpatriotic --
to not question your government is unpatriotic."
-- Sen. Chuck Hagel
When you have a mix of obtainable goals, some structured thoughts, and making some concrete plans, all that's left is to follow through.
Will it/does it happen over night? Not at all, but that's all it honestly takes to live the life you want.
People weren't being pessimistic about you wanting to change your life around, they were making fun of the fact that you wanted to foolishly quit your job in order to see a concert w/o anything lined up once that concert was over.
I also love the spirit of the board. I mean, its one thing to offer advice and say, "this is my advice to you" and then say "but its up to you, it will work out either way". Its quite another to do, as many on this board did, to ridicule me, my views, and my life.
What a great community, where a person, who is seeking advice, and is obviously a genuine and contientious person, is told they will be homeless if they make a decision they are considering. Wow, thanks guys.
There are a lot of really good people on this board. It's a great place to get a laugh even though BostonLou isn't here anymore, and it's a great place to read some empathic grounded words even though hippiemom is looking at the Pearl Jam concerts from a different dimension. There are certain people who you will look forward to reading, and some you won't.
Post edited by Ms. Haiku on
There is no such thing as leftover pizza. There is now pizza and later pizza. - anonymous The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
When you have a mix of attainable goals, some structured thoughts, and making some concrete plans, all that's left is to follow through.
Will it/does it happen over night? Not at all, but that's all it honestly takes to live the life you want.
People weren't being pessimistic about you wanting to change your life around, they were making fun of the fact that you wanted to foolishly quit your job in order to see a concert w/o anything lined up once that concert was over.
"procrastination is the killer of all dreams"
Well as a person in my position, and as the only person on this board, who is actually me, I can say it is NOT that easy. Its easy for you. You have made that abundantly clear. As I said, there is an entire board dedicated to people in this crisis. And the majority of those who post feel unable to make decisions and feel paralyzed and dont know which way to turn. Thats a fact. Its also how I personally feel.
People additionally couldnt read. I stated multiple times I wasnt going to quit a job solely because of a concert. I stated it multiple times (read MULTIPLE times). And people continued spreading the idea that I was quitting because of it. It was quite frustrating to say " I am not going to quit because of a show" and then the next thread underneath that post to read "How could you quit a job to see a show"? Pretty surreal frankly.
If I say its not about a show, its not about a show. Why argue with me on that. As I said I am the only person who is me on this board. I know how I feel. You dont. Why make that a point of contention.
You may have life figured out, and your twenties may have been easy. For me, its been rough. I am lost. Seems silly for you to continue to tell me something that isnt true, that what I am going through is easy. Its not. Its not been for me at least.
When you have a mix of attainable goals, some structured thoughts, and making some concrete plans, all that's left is to follow through.
Will it/does it happen over night? Not at all, but that's all it honestly takes to live the life you want.
People weren't being pessimistic about you wanting to change your life around, they were making fun of the fact that you wanted to foolishly quit your job in order to see a concert w/o anything lined up once that concert was over.
"procrastination is the killer of all dreams"
Well as a person in my position, and as the only person on this board, who is actually me, I can say it is NOT that easy. Its easy for you. You have made that abundantly clear. As I said, there is an entire board dedicated to people in this crisis. And the majority of those who post feel unable to make decisions and feel paralyzed and dont know which way to turn. Thats a fact. Its also how I personally feel.
People additionally couldnt read. I stated multiple times I wasnt going to quit a job solely because of a concert. I stated it multiple times (read MULTIPLE times). And people continued spreading the idea that I was quitting because of it. It was quite frustrating to say " I am not going to quit because of a show" and then the next thread underneath that post to read "How could you quit a job to see a show"? Pretty surreal frankly.
If I say its not about a show, its not about a show. Why argue with me on that. As I said I am the only person who is me on this board. I know how I feel. You dont. Why make that a point of contention.
You may have life figured out, and your twenties may have been easy. For me, its been rough. I am lost. Seems silly for you to continue to tell me something that isnt true, that what I am going through is easy. Its not. Its not been for me at least.
right there bro, you asked for "advice" and he gave you "advice".
you go ape shit and type 10,000 words to it saying his "advice" is wrong.
thats why people go off on you.
i dont get it.
let me make myself as clear as i can, crystal even.
YOU ARE IN NO WAY THE ONLY PERSON TO EVER FEEL THIS WAY OR GO THROUGH THIS.
okay? the difference is, you are "going through this" on a public message board.
the replies are not all going to be what you want to hear.
you keep telling us that we are missing the point. and to us, it seems that YOU are the one missing OUR point.
Peace, Love.
"To question your government is not unpatriotic --
to not question your government is unpatriotic."
-- Sen. Chuck Hagel
I'm only in my mid 20's and they've been rough and I've been lost and I plan on being lost in the future (because if I'm not life would be pretty predictable and dull), but what has helped the most is seeking advice from anyone, listening to their advice, and following their advice, rather than playing the role of the lost victim and listening to only to my own thoughts.
[/quote]
Where were you in my other thread? I got pummelled by everyone saying I was spoiled, for suggesting I as a 25 year old felt completely lost, and directionless, working a job I am not meant to do, and just feeling like, "Wow this is my life for the next 40 years...".
Seems like we have the same view on life and work. I completely agree. As I am taking my dying breaths, I can assure you, that I will not be thinking "gee I wish I spent more time at work". It will be more focused on regrets, things I didnt get to do. Thats why I want to live a life of no regrets.
my dad is in the medical field. He studied pshychology in school. I sort of took a similar but very different path, I got a degree in sociology. People often interchange the two, as people say to me, "didnt you get a degree in pshychology?". But the psychologist looks at things like a person that is a deviant or murderer or whatever and says "they are this way because of brain chemistry, because of their family history and their environment growing up". While myself a sociologist says "they are this way because of social and societal pressure, social control, the world, and what not".
For me, the definition of insanity, fitting with the psychologist view of it, is the idea that people do things over and over again, hoping for a different result, when its obvious the same old result will happen.
The majority of people, and this has been proven by studies, work jobs they hate. They go to these jobs 5 days a week, some more than that. We spend most of our waking hours at jobs we hate. That to me, again, is the definition of insanity.
How about the old "Thank god its friday" statement. To me, that symbolizes despair. Its celebrating another week of your dreary and mundane life has passed. One week you will never get back. People live their lives for the weekend, which really means they spend 5 days not living, just thinking about the future.
I dont know how to live other peoples lives. I am only my own self. I know how I feel and thats it. Its funny to me, in other threads the people who went beyond the straight up advice. They were scathing, rude and mean. I dont like that much. How dare you tell me how to feel. How to act. How to live. If I feel lost, confused and adrift in a world I dont really understand, who are you to tell me I shouldnt feel one way or the other?[/quote]
dude I wouldn't sweat what other people say on a message board. Frankly most of the people I know and speak to go for the tried and true ideal of life - marriage, kids, white picket fence blah blah blah - I honestly think a lot of people convince themselves they are happy and satisfied but if they truly examined life and how skewed it has become they most likely would end up cynical like us. I guess that is one reason people don't examine life in that way because people have a need to feel things they do are meaningful.
dude I wouldn't sweat what other people say on a message board. Frankly most of the people I know and speak to go for the tried and true ideal of life - marriage, kids, white picket fence blah blah blah - I honestly think a lot of people convince themselves they are happy and satisfied but if they truly examined life and how skewed it has become they most likely would end up cynical like us. I guess that is one reason people don't examine life in that way because people have a need to feel things they do are meaningful.
Also, for those of us who have climbed out of the pit of despair, which takes years mind you, the marriage, kids, and white picket fence sound like a beautiful dream. A lot of joyful people are joyful because they know they could lose it any minute. They know this from experience. Also, a lot of people in the dumps may still have hope because they know it's a hole to climb out from, and that it can be done! This, too, they know from experience.
There is no such thing as leftover pizza. There is now pizza and later pizza. - anonymous The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
dude I wouldn't sweat what other people say on a message board. Frankly most of the people I know and speak to go for the tried and true ideal of life - marriage, kids, white picket fence blah blah blah - I honestly think a lot of people convince themselves they are happy and satisfied but if they truly examined life and how skewed it has become they most likely would end up cynical like us. I guess that is one reason people don't examine life in that way because people have a need to feel things they do are meaningful.
Also, for those of us who have climbed out of the pit of despair, which takes years mind you, the marriage, kids, and white picket fence sound like a beautiful dream. A lot of joyful people are joyful because they know they could lose it any minute. They know this from experience. Also, a lot of people in the dumps may still have hope because they know it's a hole to climb out from, and that it can be done! This, too, they know from experience.
amen.
Peace, Love.
"To question your government is not unpatriotic --
to not question your government is unpatriotic."
-- Sen. Chuck Hagel
I'm only in my mid 20's and they've been rough and I've been lost and I plan on being lost in the future (because if I'm not life would be pretty predictable and dull), but what has helped the most is seeking advice from anyone, listening to their advice, and following their advice, rather than playing the role of the lost victim and listening to only to my own thoughts.
conversely, I think part of becoming an adult, is asking for advice, weighing it, and coming to your own decision. Yes, advice is important. Obviously. But I also think, some of the best advice I ever recieved was from Noam Chomsky. I sent him an e-mail once. A long one, asking for advice and for book recommendations. He wrote back, which was awesome, but he didnt say an awful lot. He did say, "you already know, what you need to do", or something along those lines. The point was, that, i already know what I need to do, and that all the answers are not really even in a book written by what I consider one of the most important thinkers of our time. Its in us. Its in me.
Advice is a dime a dozen. Advice is helpful sometimes. But sometimes, people love to offer it, but refuse to take it themselves, or they offer it so as to not deal with their own life, to exert control on others, when they are unable to deal and control their own.
I have found all this to be true. That ultimately, as much as others inspire me, or my heroes inspire me, what needs to be done, is what needs to be done. What needs to be done, is what feels right to me.
I am already familiar with living life not according to how others live it. I spent my high school years, going to protests and educating and radicalizing myself instead of getting drunk and high. I spent my college years pursuing a degree that isnt going to make me a ton of money and is low on the status totum pole. I walk to the beat of my own drum. And frankly, just because some guy named mookey thinks I am wierd or out of touch, isnt going to derail me either.
Others can follow their own road to hell, lined with drugs, status, money, cars and fame. I have always wanted something more for myself. I know I am destined for greatness. Its my destiny after all.
For me that life that others lead is boring. It never made sense to me, that people went to college to get degrees in stuff that would make them tons of cash. That never entered my mind, and if I went back to school I wouldnt do that.
For me, finding happiness and joy and a career that when I wake up each day, I am happy and proud to go to, thats my view of what I want to happen.
Yes advice helps, but I am not going to blindly follow peoples advice if it doesnt sit well with my own moral and ethical feelings.
Being an adult is about more than seeking and following others advice. Its also about making decisions, and learning to live with said decisions, or if you cant live with them, changing them. Its about making decisions based on your own best judgement.
If I had followed peoples advice my whole life, I would most likely be a conservative, and be working in some job that pays a ton of money. That wouldnt make me happy and I know it. I certaily wouldnt have a degree in sociology if I had followed others advice.
Drugs, status, money, cars, and fame... Where do I sign up?
PS did you quit your job?
Dude, I'm 18 years old, starting college. I worked through highschool, and have to pay for shit I want. It sounds like you didn't. Life is fun. I love making music, but don't think I want to do it as a living. I look up to my father who makes a decent living doing something he likes, and is good at, and just plays music for fun. I want that kind of life.
Believe me, when I was growin up, I thought the worst thing you could turn out to be was normal, So I say freaks in the most complementary way. Here's a song by a fellow freak - E.V
dude I wouldn't sweat what other people say on a message board. Frankly most of the people I know and speak to go for the tried and true ideal of life - marriage, kids, white picket fence blah blah blah - I honestly think a lot of people convince themselves they are happy and satisfied but if they truly examined life and how skewed it has become they most likely would end up cynical like us. I guess that is one reason people don't examine life in that way because people have a need to feel things they do are meaningful.
Also, for those of us who have climbed out of the pit of despair, which takes years mind you, the marriage, kids, and white picket fence sound like a beautiful dream. A lot of joyful people are joyful because they know they could lose it any minute. They know this from experience. Also, a lot of people in the dumps may still have hope because they know it's a hole to climb out from, and that it can be done! This, too, they know from experience.
I wouldn't say I am in the dumps. i am relatively happy with my life but i just know there has got to be more than working 40 hours a week for nothing more than a paycheck - including commutes i spend 11 hours a weekday going to or at work - that leaves about 4 to 5 waking hours to live life - as I mentioned before, that is out of balance and out of whack and makes time fly by and before you know it you are 40 and wondering where the time has gone.
"conversely, I think part of becoming an adult, is asking for advice, weighing it, and coming to your own decision."
I assumed you understood this whole sentence was an implicitly known part of following people's advice and pretty much no one blindly follows people's advice.
but the part in bold is what you seem to not be doing on this board.
"conversely, I think part of becoming an adult, is asking for advice, weighing it, and coming to your own decision."
I assumed you understood this whole sentence was an implicitly known part of following people's advice and pretty much no one blindly follows people's advice.
but the part in bold is what you seem to not be doing on this board.
you said, you enjoyed, seeking and hearing advice and following that advice. You made no mention of autonomy anywhere. You said it. I reacted to it.
you said:
but what has helped the most is seeking advice from anyone, listening to their advice, and following their advice, rather than playing the role of the lost victim and listening to only to my own thoughts.
Implicit in this is the deeming of me to me a lost victim who only listens to my own thoughts, and also implicit is the idea as I said, that you personally think its important to seek advice, listen to it, and follow THEIR advice.
No mention is made of seeking and hearing advice and having that advice conflict with your own internal and moral ethics. No mention is made of the conflicts and thought processes that could deal with such conflicts when they inevitably arise.
I am only responding to what you said. Dont crucify me. Get a better editor!
"conversely, I think part of becoming an adult, is asking for advice, weighing it, and coming to your own decision."
I assumed you understood this whole sentence was an implicitly known part of following people's advice and pretty much no one blindly follows people's advice.
but the part in bold is what you seem to not be doing on this board.
Where in your quote did you say "weighing the advice of others and acting autonomous"? You didnt say that. Thus the reason why I reacted
was your username something like world turned to black on the old board?
no.
I also love the spirit of the board. I mean, its one thing to offer advice and say, "this is my advice to you" and then say "but its up to you, it will work out either way". Its quite another to do, as many on this board did, to ridicule me, my views, and my life.
What a great community, where a person, who is seeking advice, and is obviously a genuine and contientious person, is told they will be homeless if they make a decision they are considering. Wow, thanks guys.
wow if I ridiculed you, I did not mean to (or remember it.) I am not a cruel person. I only asked about your username b/c your posts reminded me of someone from the past and he was close to your age....I wasn't calling you "green tea disease" like people were recently (besides, I liked her.) When you put your feelings or business on a message board, you never know what kind of response you are going to get. I am a sensitive person and I am not thrilled with the way people perceive me on here or respond to me and I often feel like going away.
9/98, 9/00 - DC, 4/03 - Pitt., 7/03 - Bristow, 10/04 - Reading, 10/05 - Philly, 5/06 - DC, 6/06 - Pitt., 6/08 - Va Beach, 6/08 - DC, 5/10 - Bristow, 10/13 B'more
8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
10/10 - Brad in B'more
I enjoyed riding my bike without a helmet . . .
I enjoyed watching MTV for the music . . .
I enjoyed playing sports with only the winners getting trophy's . . .
I enjoyed TV that wasn't reality based . . .
amen to that.
believe it or not, we don't "need" anything. that is only the spoiled brat in us trying to fill some temporary solution to an emptyness that does not exist.
I have eaten so much gold I crapped excellence - drtyfrnk29
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all!
I wouldn't say I am in the dumps. i am relatively happy with my life but i just know there has got to be more than working 40 hours a week for nothing more than a paycheck - including commutes i spend 11 hours a weekday going to or at work - that leaves about 4 to 5 waking hours to live life - as I mentioned before, that is out of balance and out of whack and makes time fly by and before you know it you are 40 and wondering where the time has gone.
Actually, you have something to look foward to, then. You get to release the anxiety about turning 40. I'm 41 and I never wonder where time has gone. All of my 40 year old friends don't wonder where time has gone. My siblings that are older than me don't wonder where time has gone. Sure there are years of regret, but the powerful part of those years is that I chose what I was doing, and then decided to remove myself from it.
Post edited by Ms. Haiku on
There is no such thing as leftover pizza. There is now pizza and later pizza. - anonymous The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
I wish I could go back, not just to be carefree but to right wrongs and appreciate time and people a bit more. I'm not saying I have any regrets but some events in life make you realise how precious childhood is.
Been to this many PJ shows: Reading 2006 London 2007 Manchester & London 2009 Dublin, Belfast, London, Nijmegen & Berlin 2010 Manchester 1 & Manchester 2 2012...
... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
dude I wouldn't sweat what other people say on a message board. Frankly most of the people I know and speak to go for the tried and true ideal of life - marriage, kids, white picket fence blah blah blah - I honestly think a lot of people convince themselves they are happy and satisfied but if they truly examined life and how skewed it has become they most likely would end up cynical like us. I guess that is one reason people don't examine life in that way because people have a need to feel things they do are meaningful.
Also, for those of us who have climbed out of the pit of despair, which takes years mind you, the marriage, kids, and white picket fence sound like a beautiful dream. A lot of joyful people are joyful because they know they could lose it any minute. They know this from experience. Also, a lot of people in the dumps may still have hope because they know it's a hole to climb out from, and that it can be done! This, too, they know from experience.
I wouldn't say I am in the dumps. i am relatively happy with my life but i just know there has got to be more than working 40 hours a week for nothing more than a paycheck - including commutes i spend 11 hours a weekday going to or at work - that leaves about 4 to 5 waking hours to live life - as I mentioned before, that is out of balance and out of whack and makes time fly by and before you know it you are 40 and wondering where the time has gone.
you know, on the one hand...i completely agree with you. on the other, i think back 100 years or so and imagine what life was truly like for the average person back then and.... :shock: .....we have it sooooo much better! even with the 40 hour workweek, commutes, etc. it's all perspective. believe me, i too would far rather life a life of leisure, doing the things i love and enjoy...on my own timetable, no worries, etc. that simply is not reality. even outside of our civilization, "life" always requires "work" to live and survive. so sure, i agree....i LOVE my OWN time, and i do my best to savor and enjoy it. try to see the positives in your life, including what that paycheck provides for you and and your loved ones. beyond that, you bet.....i'd love to win the lottery. THAT to me would be the ideal. no need to return to childhood.....just have the comfort and security of not having to worry about keeping a roof over our heads, food on the table, clothes, heat, future retirement, etc....all that important yet totally unsexy stuff. i think wanting childhood back is simply wanting to be removed from all the responsibility of being an adult, and hey....i hear that! however, i really don't want to BE a child again, but sure, i'd enjoy the carefree lifestyle again absolutely...
Comments
don't forget television shows made for kids that weren't super cheesy/corny. Adults could actually tolerate them. Also, saturday morning cartoons that were only 2-d animation, no computer generated crap.
Time and time again, most people choose the easier path. Whether thats going for a degree in a money making field, getting a job in a field that promises fame, wealth and status, or just schlepping along and going to your job day after day, that you hate and despise. For most people, the choice, is work or die. Continue on their downward spiral, do nothing at all, and just see their life waste away.
For me, I wasnt meant for that fate. I am out of step with others my age, and I am out of step with alot of you here, despite our mutual love of a band.
The idea that I would, as a single, 25 year old, with no kids and no mortgage, no car payments, no debt, would feel obligated and forced to stay in any situation I hate, is absolute madness. I wont stand for it.
I control my life. If I hate a situation, this is the time to go about doing something about it.
I feel it is my right to feel as I do, considering my age. Reguardless of that, its how I feel.
I wasnt meant to toil away my life, like that. Its not my destiny. I feel that more than ever.
when I felt stuck in a rut in MN...rather than complaining about it on a message board, I found a place to live in Seattle and moved.
When I felt that the music industry wasn't going to be paying the bills for the lifestyle that I wanted... rather than complaining about it on a message board, i dropped out of art school and enrolled at a community college till I found out what I what major best suited me.
then don't stand for it and do something more fulfilling.
as for the topic of this thread.. ( :? ) I don't necessarily wish I could be a kid again, but I do sometimes miss not having as much responsibilities.
at the same time though, I love the fact that I'm in charge of my own life. all the little things as well as the bigger ones. if I don't go to the store, there will be nothing to eat. if I don't pay my bills, I will not have a phone/electricity/internet.
I don't always like going to work and I do dream about winning the lotto (
I loved to read as a child - it's still my favorite activity. Being an adult is not such a bad state of living. In fact, we should all break out the champagne for surviving adolescence in my opinion
The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
was your username something like world turned to black on the old board?
8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
10/10 - Brad in B'more
Thats quite an assumption. Have we met? Are we friendly? If not, you dont know a damn thing about me, so dont pretend to.
I dont spend 24 hours a day in front of a computer, and I have left my apartment every day, to go to work, or whatever, so I am not curled in a ball in bed or anything, so I would say your characterization of me is completely inaccurate.
I think the problem comes into play, of myself declaring my view of how things are, or how I view the world, and then trying to implement that in my own life. So in that we do agree. But I dont think I will be beating down your door or PMing you about how you feel I should run my life, mookey, sorry. I got bigger fish to fry.
I think the thing to realize, is, and its backed up by every movie that deals with the so called quarter life crisis, and is backed up by an entire message board community of twenty year olds who are in this crisis, is that trying to figure out how to do what you want to do in life, is something that can bring paralysis and a feeling of being unable to do something. Not knowing where to begin or what to do.
So good for you, you took control of your life. Applause all around. But there are many others like me, who know my life is off track, that I am not living to my full potential, and feel that with every fiber of my being. But we also know that just as strong as that feeling is, another feeling of drifting, of being lost and confused and not knowing what to do, that feeling is just as powerful. And from personal experience, those feelings are overpowering. They are strong.
To feel like you have wasted your life, or that you feel trapped at any age is tough, but I think to feel that way as I do as a 20 year old, I think those feelings are very powerful. As a 80 year old, you may not be able to do anything about regrets or the feelings I described. As a 25 year old, I think there is endless possibilies about what could be done to alleviate it. Thus another branch of the struggle. Too many options. I literally could do anything I wanted to do. Quit job, stay, join the army (as a pacifist its unlikely), move to australia, become a priest and on and on. Thats adds to the pressure.
To feel that life awaits outside of what you are living, that you are destined for something better, that you arent where you are supposed to be, are very strong feelings. And as I said, I am justified in feeling how I do.
Just look at the responses of people to my thread about quitting my job. People were very pessimistic about what would happen if I did it. You dont think that could add to any paralysis and insecurity I may feel? If I feel trapped and like I am wasting away my life, and feel a change is warranted, and then hear a majority of people on here tell me I would be broke and pennyless if I quit, its quite a contradiction. I feel the way I do and feel I need to move on, but people tell me if I leave I would be homeless?
To suggest its a simple matter to figure out life, to find your place in the puzzle called life, thats ignorant at best. And to tell the people who are engaged in this struggle, and who are lost, and having a rough time, that its "oh its so easy you just do this and this" as you did, I think is pretty asinine and childish
no.
I also love the spirit of the board. I mean, its one thing to offer advice and say, "this is my advice to you" and then say "but its up to you, it will work out either way". Its quite another to do, as many on this board did, to ridicule me, my views, and my life.
What a great community, where a person, who is seeking advice, and is obviously a genuine and contientious person, is told they will be homeless if they make a decision they are considering. Wow, thanks guys.
holy fuck dude. way to de-rail your own thread. the original topic was fun.
this, back to the other shit.
i gave you the benefit of doubt, now you are back on the same old stuff.
if you are really that unhappy, change can only be made by you.
i'm not bashing, but listen to yourself.
you dont sound spoiled to me, but rather out of touch with reality.
i dont know.
good luck man.
"To question your government is not unpatriotic --
to not question your government is unpatriotic."
-- Sen. Chuck Hagel
When you have a mix of obtainable goals, some structured thoughts, and making some concrete plans, all that's left is to follow through.
Will it/does it happen over night? Not at all, but that's all it honestly takes to live the life you want.
People weren't being pessimistic about you wanting to change your life around, they were making fun of the fact that you wanted to foolishly quit your job in order to see a concert w/o anything lined up once that concert was over.
"procrastination is the killer of all dreams"
The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
Well as a person in my position, and as the only person on this board, who is actually me, I can say it is NOT that easy. Its easy for you. You have made that abundantly clear. As I said, there is an entire board dedicated to people in this crisis. And the majority of those who post feel unable to make decisions and feel paralyzed and dont know which way to turn. Thats a fact. Its also how I personally feel.
People additionally couldnt read. I stated multiple times I wasnt going to quit a job solely because of a concert. I stated it multiple times (read MULTIPLE times). And people continued spreading the idea that I was quitting because of it. It was quite frustrating to say " I am not going to quit because of a show" and then the next thread underneath that post to read "How could you quit a job to see a show"? Pretty surreal frankly.
If I say its not about a show, its not about a show. Why argue with me on that. As I said I am the only person who is me on this board. I know how I feel. You dont. Why make that a point of contention.
You may have life figured out, and your twenties may have been easy. For me, its been rough. I am lost. Seems silly for you to continue to tell me something that isnt true, that what I am going through is easy. Its not. Its not been for me at least.
right there bro, you asked for "advice" and he gave you "advice".
you go ape shit and type 10,000 words to it saying his "advice" is wrong.
thats why people go off on you.
i dont get it.
let me make myself as clear as i can, crystal even.
YOU ARE IN NO WAY THE ONLY PERSON TO EVER FEEL THIS WAY OR GO THROUGH THIS.
okay? the difference is, you are "going through this" on a public message board.
the replies are not all going to be what you want to hear.
you keep telling us that we are missing the point. and to us, it seems that YOU are the one missing OUR point.
"To question your government is not unpatriotic --
to not question your government is unpatriotic."
-- Sen. Chuck Hagel
Where were you in my other thread? I got pummelled by everyone saying I was spoiled, for suggesting I as a 25 year old felt completely lost, and directionless, working a job I am not meant to do, and just feeling like, "Wow this is my life for the next 40 years...".
Seems like we have the same view on life and work. I completely agree. As I am taking my dying breaths, I can assure you, that I will not be thinking "gee I wish I spent more time at work". It will be more focused on regrets, things I didnt get to do. Thats why I want to live a life of no regrets.
my dad is in the medical field. He studied pshychology in school. I sort of took a similar but very different path, I got a degree in sociology. People often interchange the two, as people say to me, "didnt you get a degree in pshychology?". But the psychologist looks at things like a person that is a deviant or murderer or whatever and says "they are this way because of brain chemistry, because of their family history and their environment growing up". While myself a sociologist says "they are this way because of social and societal pressure, social control, the world, and what not".
For me, the definition of insanity, fitting with the psychologist view of it, is the idea that people do things over and over again, hoping for a different result, when its obvious the same old result will happen.
The majority of people, and this has been proven by studies, work jobs they hate. They go to these jobs 5 days a week, some more than that. We spend most of our waking hours at jobs we hate. That to me, again, is the definition of insanity.
How about the old "Thank god its friday" statement. To me, that symbolizes despair. Its celebrating another week of your dreary and mundane life has passed. One week you will never get back. People live their lives for the weekend, which really means they spend 5 days not living, just thinking about the future.
I dont know how to live other peoples lives. I am only my own self. I know how I feel and thats it. Its funny to me, in other threads the people who went beyond the straight up advice. They were scathing, rude and mean. I dont like that much. How dare you tell me how to feel. How to act. How to live. If I feel lost, confused and adrift in a world I dont really understand, who are you to tell me I shouldnt feel one way or the other?[/quote]
dude I wouldn't sweat what other people say on a message board. Frankly most of the people I know and speak to go for the tried and true ideal of life - marriage, kids, white picket fence blah blah blah - I honestly think a lot of people convince themselves they are happy and satisfied but if they truly examined life and how skewed it has become they most likely would end up cynical like us. I guess that is one reason people don't examine life in that way because people have a need to feel things they do are meaningful.
The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
amen.
"To question your government is not unpatriotic --
to not question your government is unpatriotic."
-- Sen. Chuck Hagel
conversely, I think part of becoming an adult, is asking for advice, weighing it, and coming to your own decision. Yes, advice is important. Obviously. But I also think, some of the best advice I ever recieved was from Noam Chomsky. I sent him an e-mail once. A long one, asking for advice and for book recommendations. He wrote back, which was awesome, but he didnt say an awful lot. He did say, "you already know, what you need to do", or something along those lines. The point was, that, i already know what I need to do, and that all the answers are not really even in a book written by what I consider one of the most important thinkers of our time. Its in us. Its in me.
Advice is a dime a dozen. Advice is helpful sometimes. But sometimes, people love to offer it, but refuse to take it themselves, or they offer it so as to not deal with their own life, to exert control on others, when they are unable to deal and control their own.
I have found all this to be true. That ultimately, as much as others inspire me, or my heroes inspire me, what needs to be done, is what needs to be done. What needs to be done, is what feels right to me.
I am already familiar with living life not according to how others live it. I spent my high school years, going to protests and educating and radicalizing myself instead of getting drunk and high. I spent my college years pursuing a degree that isnt going to make me a ton of money and is low on the status totum pole. I walk to the beat of my own drum. And frankly, just because some guy named mookey thinks I am wierd or out of touch, isnt going to derail me either.
Others can follow their own road to hell, lined with drugs, status, money, cars and fame. I have always wanted something more for myself. I know I am destined for greatness. Its my destiny after all.
For me that life that others lead is boring. It never made sense to me, that people went to college to get degrees in stuff that would make them tons of cash. That never entered my mind, and if I went back to school I wouldnt do that.
For me, finding happiness and joy and a career that when I wake up each day, I am happy and proud to go to, thats my view of what I want to happen.
Yes advice helps, but I am not going to blindly follow peoples advice if it doesnt sit well with my own moral and ethical feelings.
Being an adult is about more than seeking and following others advice. Its also about making decisions, and learning to live with said decisions, or if you cant live with them, changing them. Its about making decisions based on your own best judgement.
If I had followed peoples advice my whole life, I would most likely be a conservative, and be working in some job that pays a ton of money. That wouldnt make me happy and I know it. I certaily wouldnt have a degree in sociology if I had followed others advice.
PS did you quit your job?
Dude, I'm 18 years old, starting college. I worked through highschool, and have to pay for shit I want. It sounds like you didn't. Life is fun. I love making music, but don't think I want to do it as a living. I look up to my father who makes a decent living doing something he likes, and is good at, and just plays music for fun. I want that kind of life.
I wouldn't say I am in the dumps. i am relatively happy with my life but i just know there has got to be more than working 40 hours a week for nothing more than a paycheck - including commutes i spend 11 hours a weekday going to or at work - that leaves about 4 to 5 waking hours to live life - as I mentioned before, that is out of balance and out of whack and makes time fly by and before you know it you are 40 and wondering where the time has gone.
I assumed you understood this whole sentence was an implicitly known part of following people's advice and pretty much no one blindly follows people's advice.
but the part in bold is what you seem to not be doing on this board.
you said, you enjoyed, seeking and hearing advice and following that advice. You made no mention of autonomy anywhere. You said it. I reacted to it.
you said:
but what has helped the most is seeking advice from anyone, listening to their advice, and following their advice, rather than playing the role of the lost victim and listening to only to my own thoughts.
Implicit in this is the deeming of me to me a lost victim who only listens to my own thoughts, and also implicit is the idea as I said, that you personally think its important to seek advice, listen to it, and follow THEIR advice.
No mention is made of seeking and hearing advice and having that advice conflict with your own internal and moral ethics. No mention is made of the conflicts and thought processes that could deal with such conflicts when they inevitably arise.
I am only responding to what you said. Dont crucify me. Get a better editor!
Where in your quote did you say "weighing the advice of others and acting autonomous"? You didnt say that. Thus the reason why I reacted
anyway,I'm out
good luck with what it is you're shooting for on your own
wow if I ridiculed you, I did not mean to (or remember it.) I am not a cruel person. I only asked about your username b/c your posts reminded me of someone from the past and he was close to your age....I wasn't calling you "green tea disease" like people were recently (besides, I liked her.) When you put your feelings or business on a message board, you never know what kind of response you are going to get. I am a sensitive person and I am not thrilled with the way people perceive me on here or respond to me and I often feel like going away.
8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
10/10 - Brad in B'more
amen to that.
I have eaten so much gold I crapped excellence - drtyfrnk29
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all!
The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
Everyday at the moment :(
I wish I could go back, not just to be carefree but to right wrongs and appreciate time and people a bit more. I'm not saying I have any regrets but some events in life make you realise how precious childhood is.
... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
you know, on the one hand...i completely agree with you. on the other, i think back 100 years or so and imagine what life was truly like for the average person back then and.... :shock: .....we have it sooooo much better! even with the 40 hour workweek, commutes, etc. it's all perspective. believe me, i too would far rather life a life of leisure, doing the things i love and enjoy...on my own timetable, no worries, etc. that simply is not reality. even outside of our civilization, "life" always requires "work" to live and survive. so sure, i agree....i LOVE my OWN time, and i do my best to savor and enjoy it. try to see the positives in your life, including what that paycheck provides for you and and your loved ones. beyond that, you bet.....i'd love to win the lottery.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow