Question for the Ladies

PearlJam24

If some guy you've never met approached you and asked you out...how would you feel? Lets say the guy is close to your age and is well dressed, groomed nicely.

Doesn't matter if you are single or in a relationship. Would you feel flattered, creeped out?

What are your thoughts?

pandora

like most ladies I have strong instincts about men
so it wouldn't really matter if he was well groomed or as you describe because you can tell sincerity
and honesty and that is what is truly attractive.
Its very hard for people to meet people these days so no matter what the age its important to be kind and receptive to others.
Flattery gets a man no where its a meeting of the minds thats important.

_

I would feel flattered, but I would say no. I don't trust the intentions/sincerity of men who ask me out when they know nothing about me but what I look like. I also have no interest in men I know nothing about. If we somehow knew enough about each other to be interested on more than just a physical level, that would be different.

Ms. Haiku

PearlJam24 wrote:

If some guy you've never met approached you and asked you out...how would you feel? Lets say the guy is close to your age and is well dressed, groomed nicely.

Doesn't matter if you are single or in a relationship. Would you feel flattered, creeped out?

What are your thoughts?

Creeped out. As I didn't know the person I would think he had mental health issues, and mistook me for someone or was lost. Or he was on some drug that breaks social boundaries.

I'm not being facetious, I would really think he would need assistance to get back to knowing what's around him or he would need assistance to find neutral.

justam

PearlJam24 wrote:

If some guy you've never met approached you and asked you out...how would you feel? Lets say the guy is close to your age and is well dressed, groomed nicely.

Doesn't matter if you are single or in a relationship. Would you feel flattered, creeped out?

What are your thoughts?

I think it's odd that you say "It doesn't matter if you are single or in a relationship."

It's supposed to matter isn't it?

Anyway, that comment aside, I think it completely depends upon so many things. Whether it seems natural or forced, whether she is attracted to you, whether you seem sincere or greasy... :?

katellis

it depends .. does he literally just walk up and ask me out? or do we have some sort of conversation first?

PearlJam24

justam wrote:

PearlJam24 wrote:

If some guy you've never met approached you and asked you out...how would you feel? Lets say the guy is close to your age and is well dressed, groomed nicely.

Doesn't matter if you are single or in a relationship. Would you feel flattered, creeped out?

What are your thoughts?

I think it's odd that you say "It doesn't matter if you are single or in a relationship."

It's supposed to matter isn't it?

Not in this case. We're not to the point where the girl is giving (deciding on) an answer. Just trying to figure out the thought process...

PearlJam24

katellis wrote:

it depends .. does he literally just walk up and ask me out? or do we have some sort of conversation first?

Alright, here's the deal. My cousin has his eye on this girl that works in a salon. He has no reason to go into that salon...females only...whatever. Now, he knows nothing about this girl but is attracted to her and wants to get to know her but thinks the only way he can do that is to go into the salon and ask the girl for her number or if she would like to go dinner for the upcoming weekend. He's a clean cut, sincere dude with a good head on his shoulders. He's trying to figure out the best way to approach this situation without coming off as a creepy schmuck. So I'm trying to see what the ladies think.


Ya don't want to know what I'd do if I were in his shoes!

_

PearlJam24 wrote:

katellis wrote:

it depends .. does he literally just walk up and ask me out? or do we have some sort of conversation first?

Alright, here's the deal. My cousin has his eye on this girl that works in a salon. He has no reason to go into that salon...females only...whatever. Now, he knows nothing about this girl but is attracted to her and wants to get to know her but thinks the only way he can do that is to go into the salon and ask the girl for her number or if she would like to go dinner for the upcoming weekend. He's a clean cut, sincere dude with a good head on his shoulders. He's trying to figure out the best way to approach this situation without coming off as a creepy schmuck. So I'm trying to see what the ladies think.


Ya don't want to know what I'd do if I were in his shoes!

First off... IS he a creepy schmuck?

Secondly... I think in that scenario I would be creeped out, especially knowing that he knows where I work.

Why is he attracted to her - just because she's pretty? And how is he even aware of her if she works in a salon only women go into?

ZiggyStar

I'd feel a bit weird I think doing dinner........but if I was single and I found him attractive, I'd say yes to a drink at a pub....which may lead onto dinner etc depending on whether we click. I really don't think I'd say yes to a dinner straight away with a complete stranger.

The following would work on me:

He should take a flower in to her with his mobile number attached to it (not a whole bunch -- seems too overboard -- just a nice single flower or a few flowers maybe) and say that he's seen her around and a few friends are meeting up at the pub and she should grab a few friends and meet them there.

If she's keen, she'll go....or if she really can't go due to other commitments but is interested, she'll phone/text and try to arrange a different night to meet.

A satellite forever orbiting

Ms. Haiku wrote:

PearlJam24 wrote:

If some guy you've never met approached you and asked you out...how would you feel? Lets say the guy is close to your age and is well dressed, groomed nicely.

Doesn't matter if you are single or in a relationship. Would you feel flattered, creeped out?

What are your thoughts?

Creeped out. As I didn't know the person I would think he had mental health issues, and mistook me for someone or was lost. Or he was on some drug that breaks social boundaries.

I'm not being facetious, I would really think he would need assistance to get back to knowing what's around him or he would need assistance to find neutral.

don't overreact or anything. :roll:

pandora

PearlJam24 wrote:

katellis wrote:

it depends .. does he literally just walk up and ask me out? or do we have some sort of conversation first?

Alright, here's the deal. My cousin has his eye on this girl that works in a salon. He has no reason to go into that salon...females only...whatever. Now, he knows nothing about this girl but is attracted to her and wants to get to know her but thinks the only way he can do that is to go into the salon and ask the girl for her number or if she would like to go dinner for the upcoming weekend. He's a clean cut, sincere dude with a good head on his shoulders. He's trying to figure out the best way to approach this situation without coming off as a creepy schmuck. So I'm trying to see what the ladies think.


Ya don't want to know what I'd do if I were in his shoes!

well we might want to know what you would do- might be interesting reading!
I think he should send her flowers- yellow and white marguerite daisies- nothing else- they aren't expensive
on the card-see if she'd like to meet for a coffee at a nearby coffeeshop, set a time- tell her she'll know who he is when she sees him and he should just go and be holding 1 daisy.-Romantic? If shes not spoken for she'll show up if for no other reason but curiosity! If she likes him it could be the start of a life together- uh oh

Ms. Haiku

PearlJam24 wrote:

katellis wrote:

it depends .. does he literally just walk up and ask me out? or do we have some sort of conversation first?

Alright, here's the deal. My cousin has his eye on this girl that works in a salon. He has no reason to go into that salon...females only...whatever. Now, he knows nothing about this girl but is attracted to her and wants to get to know her but thinks the only way he can do that is to go into the salon and ask the girl for her number or if she would like to go dinner for the upcoming weekend. He's a clean cut, sincere dude with a good head on his shoulders. He's trying to figure out the best way to approach this situation without coming off as a creepy schmuck. So I'm trying to see what the ladies think.


Ya don't want to know what I'd do if I were in his shoes!

He likes her for her looks. It's common, it's normal, and shouldn't be thought of more than it is. To ask her out just based on her looks, and no conversation to back it up, is not wise. I know this since I've done it, and I wouldn't recommend anyone do it. Thankfully, it's been 20 years since then, and I can just will the stupid stupid stupid memories away

decides2dream

PearlJam24 wrote:

If some guy you've never met approached you and asked you out...how would you feel? Lets say the guy is close to your age and is well dressed, groomed nicely.

Doesn't matter if you are single or in a relationship. Would you feel flattered, creeped out?

What are your thoughts?

honestly? i would think it VERY bizarre for an absolute stranger to aske me out, point blank. come up to talk to me, even compliment me.....fine, all good. chat some, have a longer conversation, get to know each other even on the most superficial of levels but at least with some back-and-forth, then a request for a date, reasonable.

so sure, whether single or not, 'being asked out' is a compliment in and of itself, so definitely flattery...and yet, it still would be rather creepy, b/c i would never go out with an absolute stranger.

the wolf

A satellite forever orbiting wrote:

Ms. Haiku wrote:

PearlJam24 wrote:

If some guy you've never met approached you and asked you out...how would you feel? Lets say the guy is close to your age and is well dressed, groomed nicely.

Doesn't matter if you are single or in a relationship. Would you feel flattered, creeped out?

What are your thoughts?

Creeped out. As I didn't know the person I would think he had mental health issues, and mistook me for someone or was lost. Or he was on some drug that breaks social boundaries.

I'm not being facetious, I would really think he would need assistance to get back to knowing what's around him or he would need assistance to find neutral.

don't overreact or anything. :roll:

HA ! this is why i NEVER asked girls out. Every relationship just developed. wait, i did ask my GF out for beers but with a group of people. she accepted, her and a friend came back to my place after the bar closed. the friend left, my GF didnt. that was 4 years ago. longest one night stand of my life !!!

Drowned Out

:roll:
Holy. People are WAY too suspicious of one another these days. Yes, there are a lot of weirdos out there…but is it really such a horrible thing to be attracted enough to someone to want to get to know them better?
By the reaction in this thread…as a single guy….the only way I should ever meet someone is thru friends, work, or classes. Some kind of activity where I get to know a woman well before I ask her out. If I approach you as a stranger, I’m a creep :roll: …..so….I guess I’m fucked. I don’t work with any women I’m interested in. I am at home with my kids most evenings, and have a very limited social life. How exactly am I supposed to ever meet a woman if they were all as tight assed as some of you are?
This has got to be the female equivalent of guys that call attractive women sluts based on their clothes or flirtiness. It’s just as sad and non-sensical. Also, I think there is probably a certain amount of tough-talk going on that relates to the ‘slut’ analogy – I think many of the women calling the situation ‘creepy’ would be jello if it were the right guy asking them out….just as most of the loser guys that judge a woman without knowing her are only doing so because they have no chance....and they would jump at a chance with her if she was interested....

Danimal

Drowned Out wrote:

:roll:
Holy. People are WAY too suspicious of one another these days. Yes, there are a lot of weirdos out there…but is it really such a horrible thing to be attracted enough to someone to want to get to know them better?
By the reaction in this thread…as a single guy….the only way I should ever meet someone is thru friends, work, or classes. Some kind of activity where I get to know a woman well before I ask her out. If I approach you as a stranger, I’m a creep :roll: …..so….I guess I’m fucked. I don’t work with any women I’m interested in. I am at home with my kids most evenings, and have a very limited social life. How exactly am I supposed to ever meet a woman if they were all as tight assed as some of you are?
This has got to be the female equivalent of guys that call attractive women sluts based on their clothes or flirtiness. It’s just as sad and non-sensical. Also, I think there is probably a certain amount of tough-talk going on that relates to the ‘slut’ analogy – I think many of the women calling the situation ‘creepy’ would be jello if it were the right guy asking them out….just as most of the loser guys that judge a woman without knowing her are only doing so because they have no chance....and they would jump at a chance with her if she was interested....

Please sign the waiver...

decides2dream

Drowned Out wrote:

:roll:
Holy. People are WAY too suspicious of one another these days. Yes, there are a lot of weirdos out there…but is it really such a horrible thing to be attracted enough to someone to want to get to know them better?
By the reaction in this thread…as a single guy….the only way I should ever meet someone is thru friends, work, or classes. Some kind of activity where I get to know a woman well before I ask her out. If I approach you as a stranger, I’m a creep :roll: …..so….I guess I’m fucked. I don’t work with any women I’m interested in. I am at home with my kids most evenings, and have a very limited social life. How exactly am I supposed to ever meet a woman if they were all as tight assed as some of you are?
This has got to be the female equivalent of guys that call attractive women sluts based on their clothes or flirtiness. It’s just as sad and non-sensical. Also, I think there is probably a certain amount of tough-talk going on that relates to the ‘slut’ analogy – I think many of the women calling the situation ‘creepy’ would be jello if it were the right guy asking them out….just as most of the loser guys that judge a woman without knowing her are only doing so because they have no chance....and they would jump at a chance with her if she was interested....

um, no.
you could meet ANYwhere, have an actual conversation with the woman...and then ask her out. perfectly normal. walking up to a stranger, never even so much as exchanging a hello ever before and saying hi...want to go on a date? yea....sorry...weird. so sure, go to a party, go to a bar, chat with a woman on a long long at the market, see someone in starbucks and strike up a conversation...THEN ask for a date. i don't think that's odd at all. and being distrustful? eh, with good reason i think. actually, i am a fairly trusting individual, but yes...i am not an idiot either. it's called being cautious. it's good to exchange a few words, etc....get a vibe from someone, rather than simply getting asked on a date cold. i don't care what you look like, how well you dress or how great a smile you have (and that is ALL you can really get from seeing someone and not having any convo whatsoever) to simply walk up and say, want to go for dinner? yes.....creepy. i actually like to get some feeling for someone first. hell, even in a just friends arrangement, like to actully have a convo with you before i decide to invest some time with you. sheesh.

Drowned Out

Danimal wrote:

Please sign the waiver...

:?:
ok

Drowned Out

decides2dream wrote:

um, no.
you could meet ANYwhere, have an actual conversation with the woman...and then ask her out. perfectly normal. walking up to a stranger, never even so much as exchanging a hello ever before and saying hi...want to go on a date? yea....sorry...weird. so sure, go to a party, go to a bar, chat with a woman on a long long at the market, see someone in starbucks and strike up a conversation...THEN ask for a date. i don't think that's odd at all. and being distrustful? eh, with good reason i think. actually, i am a fairly trusting individual, but yes...i am not an idiot either. it's called being cautious. it's good to exchange a few words, etc....get a vibe from someone, rather than simply getting asked on a date cold. i don't care what you look like, how well you dress or how great a smile you have (and that is ALL you can really get from seeing someone and not having any convo whatsoever) to simply walk up and say, want to go for dinner? yes.....creepy. i actually like to get some feeling for someone first. hell, even in a just friends arrangement, like to actully have a convo with you before i decide to invest some time with you. sheesh.

ok, ya...weird to just ask someone out without a conversation...but what is an acceptable length of convo then? 5 minutes? half an hour? what's the cut off? Are you going to actually talk to the person for that long, or get creeped out that a stranger is trying to have a conversation?
In a situation like the OP's 'friend"....is it going to be acceptable to walk into this salon and try to chat her up for long enough to not be deemed a creep? I think he's probably going to be painted that way before he opens his mouth...simply because he's attracted to her? that's kinda unfair. but hey, whatever....
I'm too shy to approach strangers anyway, regardless of setting...I just think it's a joke that women look down on a guy for being attracted to them...which is basically what this is boils down to. There is no basis to call a person creepy just for asking you out.

Sian-of-the-dead

'Never met' as in chatted on t'interwebs but never actually met in person OR 'never met' as in you see a girl in a bar and appraoch her to ask her for a date?

If it's the t'interwebs and I were single, I would be cautious but I probably would meet up with the person in a group of friends.
If I were to be approached in a pub by a guy, I would be flattered and tell him so but I would politely reject as i'm in a relationship. If I were single I would try to get to know him better over the course of the evening and then arrange a second date. This has happened to me before and I ended up seeing a guy for a while as result. It didn't really go anywhere after 4/5 dates and 7 weeks but the whole "OMG what if we don't get on as well as we did when we met, is he as good looking as I remember, what do I wear???" thing was fun. It's old school proper dating!