The Forthrightness Thread

[brianlux]

Just for grins, shits and giggles along that winding road that leads most philosophical threads towards oblivion...
Forthrightness (a subset of truthfulness, a subset of truth).
In general, are people who and what they say they are?
Are you who and what you say you are?

[SK359828]

i think this is a difficult question to answer. I would say at work, I am not who I say I am, and I doubt that others co-workers are who they say they are. Yet, "work Scott" is still me, whether I want to say it or not.

Thus, I'd say it depends what you are saying, who you are saying it to, and where you are saying it. I guess I could have just said "no."

[Jason P]

What if I claimed I was a liar, but in fact was lying about it?

[Hugh Freaking Dillon]

some people build themselves up. I actually tend to knock myself down. just so there's no disappointment if I'm put under further investigation.

[brianlux]

What if I claimed I was a liar, but in fact was lying about it?

I would say most likely you are lying (unless your telling the truth).

[Hugh Freaking Dillon]

this is an interesting question, actually, because of my depression and anxiety, it tends to switch my personality traits on a whim (outgoing and fun switches to loner and downer; shopper turns to seller, etc). so sometimes I feel like a fraud because I act differently than people expect, or even act differently than I expect of myself, or I do something I say I wouldn't normally do.

[redrock]

I believe I am who I say I am - though I am not just one person (no.... I don't have DID). Well.. maybe one but 'layered'/'multifaceted'. Me is me but not all get to see the whole of me, I guess. My core personality is the same but maybe sometimes tempered down for work, quieter if I'm with my old neighbour, more superficial with acquaintances,etc. My real friends get to see the lot! But we all have some chameleon in us - that's how society works - we adapt to our environment.

We share differently with the various people in different situations so I guess they see (and judge) us differently?

Whilst I do have the little 'adaptation' to the environment, I have never hidden behind the anonymity of the internet to create a whole different persona or try to project an image of someone that is not really me (but that I may wish to be? Or think I am but 'real life' people won't accept?). Nor have I done that in real life either - waaaaaaaaaaaaay to difficult to keep it up, I would have thought!

So... forthright or not? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm..... Sort of!

Told you it might mess with my mind!

[hedonist]

We share differently with the various people in different situations so I guess they see (and judge) us differently?

This speaks volumes.

Plus, I think we may perceive (and maybe therefore portray?) ourselves differently than we actually are...kinda like what was said in a psych class I took years ago - there's how you see yourself, how others see yourself, how you WANT others to see you, and how you actually are.

(My mind's being a-messed with now too! )

I've had some people who don't know me very well make startlingly accurate assessments of me...then again, the complete opposite as well.

Perception...

As far as being candid, I typically am, though will withhold information if I feel it's no one's business.

And I'll say this too - the fact that someone speaks their mind doesn't mean I'm going to embrace said mind or the thoughts that come from it.

[Cosmo]

There is how you see yourself,
how others see yourself,
how you WANT others to see you, and
how you actually are.

...
That is it... in a nutshell.
I think this one is the one that is most pervasive: 'How you WANT others to see you'
and this is the one least seen: 'How you actually are'
...
That is how we get things like Facebook. Where we put the things we want people to see about us... except for our secretive addiction to porn.
...
Hmmm... wait... I just admitted to being addicted to porn. Is that a personal secret or did I want you to know that?

[brianlux]

We share differently with the various people in different situations so I guess they see (and judge) us differently?

This speaks volumes.

Plus, I think we may perceive (and maybe therefore portray?) ourselves differently than we actually are...kinda like what was said in a psych class I took years ago - there's how you see yourself, how others see yourself, how you WANT others to see you, and how you actually are.

(My mind's being a-messed with now too! )

I've had some people who don't know me very well make startlingly accurate assessments of me...then again, the complete opposite as well.

Perception...

As far as being candid, I typically am, though will withhold information if I feel it's no one's business.

And I'll say this too - the fact that someone speaks their mind doesn't mean I'm going to embrace said mind or the thoughts that come from it.

Yeah, as soon as the thought crossed my mind it started messing around in my head a bit. I'm pretty much a "what you see is what you get" kind of person and I mostly try to say clearly what it is I believe and what I'm thinking and keep working on having an open mind and seeing others perceptions. The toughest one for me is the difficulty that comes up when I disagree with someone I like, admire or care for and don't want to say something to jeopardize that relationship. I want to remain true to what I believe but at the same time don't want to lose a friend. That's partly due having grown up with very little self-confidence having to work hard to build that from the floor up but it's also come from a few rejections. (One potential friend stopped talking to me when he asked me to guess his name and I guess too high-- which was pretty weird. I've never answered that question again.) In the long run, I've learned it's best open to other peoples' ideas but at the same time stand firm by what you most strongly believe. I have to remember that if I speak my mind openly and someone disagrees, I'll be forgiven or accepted by those who are true friends and/or open minded associates.

[Cosmo]

Yeah, as soon as the thought crossed my mind it started messing around in my head a bit. I'm pretty much a "what you see is what you get" kind of person and I mostly try to say clearly what it is I believe and what I'm thinking and keep working on having an open mind and seeing others perceptions. The toughest one for me is the difficulty that comes up when I disagree with someone I like, admire or care for and don't want to say something to jeopardize that relationship. I want to remain true to what I believe but at the same time don't want to lose a friend. That's partly due having grown up with very little self-confidence having to work hard to build that from the floor up but it's also come from a few rejections. (One potential friend stopped talking to me when he asked me to guess his name and I guess too high-- which was pretty weird. I've never answered that question again.) In the long run, I've learned it's best open to other peoples' ideas but at the same time stand firm by what you most strongly believe. I have to remember that if I speak my mind openly and someone disagrees, I'll be forgiven or accepted by those who are true friends and/or open minded associates.

...
All that means is you are normal. When someone matters to you, you can still disagree with them and leave that on that level. and that at times, it is best to leave certain things unsaid... because you know he perspon well enough to know how they will react (or over-react).
Also... some things that are on your mind... need to stay on your mind. Like, it is better to keep that dream about you banging your friend's wife, doggy-style, on a beach where the waves were made of chocolate pudding while The Beatles were playing on the shelves in a hardware store... away from your friend's ears.

[gimmesometruth27]

What if I claimed I was a liar, but in fact was lying about it?

MIND=BLOWN

[brianlux]

Like, it is better to keep that dream about you banging your friend's wife, doggy-style, on a beach where the waves were made of chocolate pudding while The Beatles were playing on the shelves in a hardware store... away from your friend's ears.

Unexpected turn in thread!



But yes, I get what you're saying. Cosmo.

[riotgrl]

Aren't we always evolving? I'm not exactly the same person I was in my 20s, I've grown into my personality and become more comfortable with who I am. Alot of my key characteristics are the same - I'm essentially an introvert who prefers low key and quiet but I'm a teacher and I've had to overcome some of those tendencies. I'd like to think I'm always forthright but as redrock mentioned sometimes I amplify some characteristics and mute others as the situation calls for. Certainly at home and with my friends I am at full volume

[Cosmo]

Aren't we always evolving? I'm not exactly the same person I was in my 20s, I've grown into my personality and become more comfortable with who I am. Alot of my key characteristics are the same - I'm essentially an introvert who prefers low key and quiet but I'm a teacher and I've had to overcome some of those tendencies. I'd like to think I'm always forthright but as redrock mentioned sometimes I amplify some characteristics and mute others as the situation calls for. Certainly at home and with my friends I am at full volume

...
Still... aren't there things in all of us that will never reach the light of day? Things we are just too embarassed or ashamed to admit that we think, have done... or do?