The Forthrightness Thread

comebackgirl

I agree with redrock in that we show different parts of ourselves when with different people. I also agree with riotgirl in that we are always evolving. I can be wildly full of contradictions depending on my mood, the situation and how much rest I've gotten (or haven't gotten)...sometimes extremely patient...sometimes impulsive and wildly impatient...sometimes silly and giddy...sometimes overly serious...sometimes shy and totally introverted...sometimes gregarious and outgoing. These are all parts of me and I am getting to know myself better every day. When I figure out exactly out who that is I will let you know

Cosmo

comebackgirl wrote:

I agree with redrock in that we show different parts of ourselves when with different people. I also agree with riotgirl in that we are always evolving. I can be wildly full of contradictions depending on my mood, the situation and how much rest I've gotten (or haven't gotten)...sometimes extremely patient...sometimes impulsive and wildly impatient...sometimes silly and giddy...sometimes overly serious...sometimes shy and totally introverted...sometimes gregarious and outgoing. These are all parts of me and I am getting to know myself better every day. When I figure out exactly out who that is I will let you know

...
But, deep down... you know who you are, right? You know what your fears are, you know what your beliefs are. You know secrets that only you know. Secrets, dreams. fantasies, fears.. all of that that never goes out in public. There are certain rocks in the garden we tend that are better off left unturned.
There is nothing wrong with that. It is just part of the experience of being human.

comebackgirl

Cosmo wrote:

comebackgirl wrote:

I agree with redrock in that we show different parts of ourselves when with different people. I also agree with riotgirl in that we are always evolving. I can be wildly full of contradictions depending on my mood, the situation and how much rest I've gotten (or haven't gotten)...sometimes extremely patient...sometimes impulsive and wildly impatient...sometimes silly and giddy...sometimes overly serious...sometimes shy and totally introverted...sometimes gregarious and outgoing. These are all parts of me and I am getting to know myself better every day. When I figure out exactly out who that is I will let you know

...
But, deep down... you know who you are, right? You know what your fears are, you know what your beliefs are. You know secrets that only you know. Secrets, dreams. fantasies, fears.. all of that that never goes out in public. There are certain rocks in the garden we tend that are better off left unturned.
There is nothing wrong with that. It is just part of the experience of being human.

Yes...I know who I am at my core. Many of those things are unchanging. I enjoy learning about myself as much as I enjoy learning about other people though; exploring why my feelings about certain things or people have changed or why I might have a strong reaction to someone (good or bad).

brianlux

fear4freedom wrote:

I do beieve that I live my principles and values in such a way that is felt by others. Over the past 10 years I have strived to be sober, hardworking, faithful, loyal and patriotic! I am sober because for most of my life I was not! Now its time to appreciate my temple that GOD has given me. I am hardworking in a sense that if I do a job for a customer and I underbid it, then they get more services for their money, and thats a gift from me, with joy! The quality of my work has improved greatly and is as good as it can be, due to all the experience and wisdom that comes with 30 years of hands-on. I am faithful to my fellow people, my GOD, my country, and my customers. I have faith in people...even though most dont. I have faith in God. I have faith in the things I cannot see and I do have faith that there are good things happening, even when we cannot see it or fathom it. I dont just claim im a Christian.....I live it! I dont just wear the shirt, or post it on my facebook, I live it, I do it, I act it out....as actions speak louder than words. I do everything I can to lift people up whenever I can. I am loyal to my customers, my family members, my girlfriend and my friends. I am a man of my word, and when i make a promise, you better believe Im not going to forget about you. I always think of how I can help others at all costs. As far as patriotism...sure I am patriotic because I believe in the "idea" of the American Dream and American Exceptionalism. I believe that we are in a unique place in time and in history to help the weak, fight evil and promote freedom, liberty and peace for the entire world!
I believe that we have done many things well, and we have failed at many others. But mostly, I believe that we are special because we at least tried them. I believe we are exceptional because.....we are!

I dont just wear the label....I LIVE IT, ACT IT, EXPRESS IT, LOVE IT! Life is a breath of fresh air and while we are renting our bodies and passing through this life here on earth.....I will do my best to be Christ-like!

I will do my best to be honest and therefore....will probably die financially poor, but very rich in....YES...very rich in life!

I will admit you are very true to your beliefs and are sincere in expressing those beliefs- I've always said that.

By "we" do you mean Christians? Americans? This is an international forum. I'm not sure how all this refers to being forthright. Within the topic of forthrightness, I'm just not sure how you got from there to how great "we" are at doing all these wonderful things you talk about or why we are "special" and "exceptional" --compared to whom?

Cosmo

comebackgirl wrote:

Yes...I know who I am at my core. Many of those things are unchanging. I enjoy learning about myself as much as I enjoy learning about other people though; exploring why my feelings about certain things or people have changed or why I might have a strong reaction to someone (good or bad).

...
And really... in the big scheme of things... isn't that what really matters?
I mean, you don't need the adulation of others as long as you and your core beliefs... driven by the humanity at your core... are true. People will move towards those whom are honest and forthright in their words, backed up by their actions. Anyone can tell you what a wonderful person they are and how they love everyone and are caring and giving... then, say or do things to the contrary. Like the example I use about some of my co-workers that organize our Christmas Adopt a Family and are all about the spiirit of Christmas and giving... but come March/April... the same single mother is a leech and a whore. That says it all.
Anyway... you seem very nice and honest... but, truthfully... i really can't say for sure. The same works the other way... you can only base your judgement on who I am.... by what I type... and if what I type is true. For all you know... I may be Charles Manson, right?

comebackgirl

Cosmo wrote:

comebackgirl wrote:

Yes...I know who I am at my core. Many of those things are unchanging. I enjoy learning about myself as much as I enjoy learning about other people though; exploring why my feelings about certain things or people have changed or why I might have a strong reaction to someone (good or bad).

...
And really... in the big scheme of things... isn't that what really matters?
I mean, you don't need the adulation of others as long as you and your core beliefs... driven by the humanity at your core... are true. People will move towards those whom are honest and forthright in their words, backed up by their actions. Anyone can tell you what a wonderful person they are and how they love everyone and are caring and giving... then, say or do things to the contrary. Like the example I use about some of my co-workers that organize our Christmas Adopt a Family and are all about the spiirit of Christmas and giving... but come March/April... the same single mother is a leech and a whore. That says it all.
Anyway... you seem very nice and honest... but, truthfully... i really can't say for sure. The same works the other way... you can only base your judgement on who I am.... by what I type... and if what I type is true. For all you know... I may be Charles Manson, right?

I agree that's what matters most. We have to live with ourselves and hopefully be at peace with ourselves. I think it's important to try and be open to seeing our faults and our inconsistencies...even though that can be painful, that is how we can grow. Even if I don't agree with someone's feedback or assessment of me, I try to sit with it for a moment and see what they're seeing and see if maybe there is a bit of truth in it, and if so, if it's something I want to work on. Sometimes it's really a projection of themselves and needs to be seen as such, and sometimes there is some truth to it...and sometimes I'm ok with that. I have to be at peace with me, regardless of what anyone else thinks of me. I think people do a better job of showing you who they are then telling you who they are. When in doubt, I always look to their behavior.
Thank you Cosmo...maybe we will meet at a show and you will be able tell a little bit more if that's true. If anything you will know that I am, in fact, very short and I like my heels for a reason Regardless...I'm pretty sure you're a fabulous dancer when it's just you and the cats

fear4freedom

brianlux wrote:

fear4freedom wrote:

I do beieve that I live my principles and values in such a way that is felt by others. Over the past 10 years I have strived to be sober, hardworking, faithful, loyal and patriotic! I am sober because for most of my life I was not! Now its time to appreciate my temple that GOD has given me. I am hardworking in a sense that if I do a job for a customer and I underbid it, then they get more services for their money, and thats a gift from me, with joy! The quality of my work has improved greatly and is as good as it can be, due to all the experience and wisdom that comes with 30 years of hands-on. I am faithful to my fellow people, my GOD, my country, and my customers. I have faith in people...even though most dont. I have faith in God. I have faith in the things I cannot see and I do have faith that there are good things happening, even when we cannot see it or fathom it. I dont just claim im a Christian.....I live it! I dont just wear the shirt, or post it on my facebook, I live it, I do it, I act it out....as actions speak louder than words. I do everything I can to lift people up whenever I can. I am loyal to my customers, my family members, my girlfriend and my friends. I am a man of my word, and when i make a promise, you better believe Im not going to forget about you. I always think of how I can help others at all costs. As far as patriotism...sure I am patriotic because I believe in the "idea" of the American Dream and American Exceptionalism. I believe that we are in a unique place in time and in history to help the weak, fight evil and promote freedom, liberty and peace for the entire world!
I believe that we have done many things well, and we have failed at many others. But mostly, I believe that we are special because we at least tried them. I believe we are exceptional because.....we are!

I dont just wear the label....I LIVE IT, ACT IT, EXPRESS IT, LOVE IT! Life is a breath of fresh air and while we are renting our bodies and passing through this life here on earth.....I will do my best to be Christ-like!

I will do my best to be honest and therefore....will probably die financially poor, but very rich in....YES...very rich in life!

I will admit you are very true to your beliefs and are sincere in expressing those beliefs- I've always said that.

By "we" do you mean Christians? Americans? This is an international forum. I'm not sure how all this refers to being forthright. Within the topic of forthrightness, I'm just not sure how you got from there to how great "we" are at doing all these wonderful things you talk about or why we are "special" and "exceptional" --compared to whom?

I simply described how I was patriotic as a personal trait that I act on and carry out! That led to my description of why!

hedonist

Cosmo wrote:

...
That is true... who we are in public is not necessarily who we are when we are alone. And online is completely different. I am Cosmo, the cat that smokes cigarettes out here because of my abnormal paranoia of the internet. But, I'm pretty much spew the same words here (concerning my views and opinions and generally scruffy social skills)... as in the real world. Ask Hedonist... we've met in the Real World. And I can attest, that she is pretty much the 'What you read is what you get' kind of gal.
And i will freely admit... I am a completely different dancer when I'm in the real world... then when it's only me and the cats in the house. It is a pretty frightening sight.

Thanks, Cos...I'd say the same - that you're as decent and odd (in a good way!) and funny and honest in person as you are here.

(I'd also say the same about the cats thing, after having just played with them. I think only the man I live with sees - and thank god, embraces - that particular side of me :P )

As to being forthright, earlier this evening I lit the menorah in my Dad's honor. It doesn't hold religious significance for me, but it did for him. He always encouraged me to be open with him, even if he wouldn't be comfortable with what I'd share - and so I was. In fact, he moreso encouraged that honesty within myself, no matter the end-result - and so I've been, or try to be. It's like a duty, almost - though a good one, in the end.

The candles are still going here, burning down. Behind the menorah is a photo of my dad in his army uniform; he was maybe 20 years old. Smiling. Small photo of him and me in the corner of the frame, his arm around me. Next to that frame, a picture of his parents, when life was good for them.

I find comfort in it, in that candle-lit scene.

Sorry for the semi-offtopicness...he was my pillar of honesty, and this thread, along with the ritual earlier, just felt connected in a sweet way.

Anyway, I really dig threads like this - the perspectives, the insights, even the mind-bends

fear4freedom

fear4freedom wrote:

brianlux wrote:

fear4freedom wrote:

I do beieve that I live my principles and values in such a way that is felt by others. Over the past 10 years I have strived to be sober, hardworking, faithful, loyal and patriotic! I am sober because for most of my life I was not! Now its time to appreciate my temple that GOD has given me. I am hardworking in a sense that if I do a job for a customer and I underbid it, then they get more services for their money, and thats a gift from me, with joy! The quality of my work has improved greatly and is as good as it can be, due to all the experience and wisdom that comes with 30 years of hands-on. I am faithful to my fellow people, my GOD, my country, and my customers. I have faith in people...even though most dont. I have faith in God. I have faith in the things I cannot see and I do have faith that there are good things happening, even when we cannot see it or fathom it. I dont just claim im a Christian.....I live it! I dont just wear the shirt, or post it on my facebook, I live it, I do it, I act it out....as actions speak louder than words. I do everything I can to lift people up whenever I can. I am loyal to my customers, my family members, my girlfriend and my friends. I am a man of my word, and when i make a promise, you better believe Im not going to forget about you. I always think of how I can help others at all costs. As far as patriotism...sure I am patriotic because I believe in the "idea" of the American Dream and American Exceptionalism. I believe that we are in a unique place in time and in history to help the weak, fight evil and promote freedom, liberty and peace for the entire world!
I believe that we have done many things well, and we have failed at many others. But mostly, I believe that we are special because we at least tried them. I believe we are exceptional because.....we are!

I dont just wear the label....I LIVE IT, ACT IT, EXPRESS IT, LOVE IT! Life is a breath of fresh air and while we are renting our bodies and passing through this life here on earth.....I will do my best to be Christ-like!

I will do my best to be honest and therefore....will probably die financially poor, but very rich in....YES...very rich in life!

I will admit you are very true to your beliefs and are sincere in expressing those beliefs- I've always said that.

By "we" do you mean Christians? Americans? This is an international forum. I'm not sure how all this refers to being forthright. Within the topic of forthrightness, I'm just not sure how you got from there to how great "we" are at doing all these wonderful things you talk about or why we are "special" and "exceptional" --compared to whom?

I simply described how I was patriotic as a personal trait that I act on and carry out! That led to my description of why!

I meant Americans when i said "we", however "christians that act" are also special!

CAVSTARR313

I am VGL

brianlux

I'm not sure how cats got work into this thread but I love them too! And dogs.

And I even like some people who dislike cats. You know who you are!

redrock

brianlux wrote:

I'm not sure how cats got work into this thread but I love them too!

They surreptitiously rule the world.....

pandora

brianlux wrote:

Just for grins, shits and giggles along that winding road that leads most philosophical threads towards oblivion...
Forthrightness (a subset of truthfulness, a subset of truth).
In general, are people who and what they say they are?
Are you who and what you say you are?

Yes I think we all are, well unless a person is devious. I like to hope there're few
of those but of course the internet allows for much deceiving if one is inclined.
I have a hard time understanding that type of dishonesty, what's the gain?
I guess to feel better about yourself. But at the end of the day you are still yourself :?

For me personally I am different with different people because the interaction
is different. Each interaction is personal, action reaction. But basically I am the same person.
Same values, morals, expectations, likes, dislikes, motives ... etc.
I think this true of others.

Some people make me uncomfortable, some I form a feeling about that can hinder
my reaching out. Voices I can react negatively to. It's a form of hypersensitivity.
Since I was small a strong attraction and distraction to voices. Our voice our spirit,
it can reach deeply to my core. I think why Eddie is always with me.

I work in an office off the main and all I have is the interaction of voices out front.
No body language to throw me off. Voices are incredibly telling of each person,
and of the interaction. When it's your loved ones well it can be unsettling even.

I often think if we could hear each other on the forum, misunderstandings would be far less,
my small gentle voice would bring a much different reaction most likely.
I know this the case in my life.
I know if I could hear others the connection would be far better....
maybe someday hot dog!

Jason P

brianlux wrote:

And I even like some people who dislike cats. You know who you are!

How can someone dislike an animal that hides and buries its own poop?