Do you fart at work?

HughFreakingDillon · October 2021

Empty Glass said:

Hobbes said:

@Empty Glass

Thank you Hobbes, I’ll take it from here…
Just came across this yesterday, heard a fart an aisle over.  Confused me as our serial farter retired. I am on the case to solve that mystery.
But to answer the question, yes I fuckin fart at work.  I am a professional farter.  At the printer, crop dust some asshole on a walk-by, down Management Row…yes!  Air must leave the body.
Why do I do this?  I can’t stand people and farts are funny.  I’ll fart at shows, at bars…etc.  I love dropping one and moving away and seeing a reaction.  I’ll fart in a store with the kids, embarrass them.  Around strangers, no muffler, just rip away and act as if it was someone else.
I did fart at the urinal at work the other day.  Very loud (bathroom echo) and funny sounding ass clapper.  A couple people were shitting, they heard it for sure, so I laughed pretty loud.  Had to do the quick hand wash and book so I couldn’t be identified.  I am an adult and can’t be caught at work laughing at a fart.
Who would go fart in their own car? Gross!

LMAO

F Me In The Brain · October 2021

Empty Glass said:

Hobbes said:

@Empty Glass

Thank you Hobbes, I’ll take it from here…
Just came across this yesterday, heard a fart an aisle over.  Confused me as our serial farter retired. I am on the case to solve that mystery.
But to answer the question, yes I fuckin fart at work.  I am a professional farter.  At the printer, crop dust some asshole on a walk-by, down Management Row…yes!  Air must leave the body.
Why do I do this?  I can’t stand people and farts are funny.  I’ll fart at shows, at bars…etc.  I love dropping one and moving away and seeing a reaction.  I’ll fart in a store with the kids, embarrass them.  Around strangers, no muffler, just rip away and act as if it was someone else.
I did fart at the urinal at work the other day.  Very loud (bathroom echo) and funny sounding ass clapper.  A couple people were shitting, they heard it for sure, so I laughed pretty loud.  Had to do the quick hand wash and book so I couldn’t be identified.  I am an adult and can’t be caught at work laughing at a fart.
Who would go fart in their own car? Gross!

:rofl: Awesome.

JojoRice · October 2021

I have my own office and an air purifier, let er' rip.

I'm a teacher and fart all the time when I don't have students in my room. However, when I do have students I try to drop some silent and deadly ones.

Gern Blansten · October 2021

I only cut em' in the bathroom, which presents a whole other set of challenges.

I was ready to rip some on the airplane home Sunday. I thought that everyone having a mask on would take care of the issue but I didn't want to fart all over my wife.

HughFreakingDillon · October 2021

"fart all over my wife" lol

2-feign-reluctance · October 2021

JojoRice said:

I'm a teacher and fart all the time when I don't have students in my room. However, when I do have students I try to drop some silent and deadly ones.

How does one truly know if you've got an SBD on board or not? Sometimes the real big fuckers end up being silent, and the sly sneaky cramps end up coming out as if plugged into a Marshall stack.

mrussel1 · October 2021

2-feign-reluctance said:

JojoRice said:

I'm a teacher and fart all the time when I don't have students in my room. However, when I do have students I try to drop some silent and deadly ones.

How does one truly know if you've got an SBD on board or not? Sometimes the real big fuckers end up being silent, and the sly sneaky cramps end up coming out as if plugged into a Marshall stack.

Because it's likely not your first of the day. You should know the situation at hand.

hedonist · October 2021

Empty Glass said:

Hobbes said:

@Empty Glass

Thank you Hobbes, I’ll take it from here…
Just came across this yesterday, heard a fart an aisle over.  Confused me as our serial farter retired. I am on the case to solve that mystery.
But to answer the question, yes I fuckin fart at work.  I am a professional farter.  At the printer, crop dust some asshole on a walk-by, down Management Row…yes!  Air must leave the body.
Why do I do this?  I can’t stand people and farts are funny.  I’ll fart at shows, at bars…etc.  I love dropping one and moving away and seeing a reaction.  I’ll fart in a store with the kids, embarrass them.  Around strangers, no muffler, just rip away and act as if it was someone else.
I did fart at the urinal at work the other day.  Very loud (bathroom echo) and funny sounding ass clapper.  A couple people were shitting, they heard it for sure, so I laughed pretty loud.  Had to do the quick hand wash and book so I couldn’t be identified.  I am an adult and can’t be caught at work laughing at a fart.
Who would go fart in their own car? Gross!

Empty Bear! Way to make a reappearance.

We’re proud of your farting prowess.

2-feign-reluctance · October 2021

mrussel1 said:

2-feign-reluctance said:

JojoRice said:

I'm a teacher and fart all the time when I don't have students in my room. However, when I do have students I try to drop some silent and deadly ones.

How does one truly know if you've got an SBD on board or not? Sometimes the real big fuckers end up being silent, and the sly sneaky cramps end up coming out as if plugged into a Marshall stack.

Because it's likely not your first of the day. You should know the situation at hand.

Agreed, but farting is like a smelly roulette wheel!

mrussel1 · October 2021

2-feign-reluctance said:

mrussel1 said:

2-feign-reluctance said:

JojoRice said:

I'm a teacher and fart all the time when I don't have students in my room. However, when I do have students I try to drop some silent and deadly ones.

How does one truly know if you've got an SBD on board or not? Sometimes the real big fuckers end up being silent, and the sly sneaky cramps end up coming out as if plugged into a Marshall stack.

Because it's likely not your first of the day. You should know the situation at hand.

Agreed, but farting is like a smelly roulette wheel!

Ha! Or like a box of chocolates... you never know what you'll get. And then you shart.

mfc2006 · October 2021

I have my own office and an air purifier, let er' rip.

Empty Glass said:

Hobbes said:

@Empty Glass

Thank you Hobbes, I’ll take it from here…
Just came across this yesterday, heard a fart an aisle over.  Confused me as our serial farter retired. I am on the case to solve that mystery.
But to answer the question, yes I fuckin fart at work.  I am a professional farter.  At the printer, crop dust some asshole on a walk-by, down Management Row…yes!  Air must leave the body.
Why do I do this?  I can’t stand people and farts are funny.  I’ll fart at shows, at bars…etc.  I love dropping one and moving away and seeing a reaction.  I’ll fart in a store with the kids, embarrass them.  Around strangers, no muffler, just rip away and act as if it was someone else.
I did fart at the urinal at work the other day.  Very loud (bathroom echo) and funny sounding ass clapper.  A couple people were shitting, they heard it for sure, so I laughed pretty loud.  Had to do the quick hand wash and book so I couldn’t be identified.  I am an adult and can’t be caught at work laughing at a fart.
Who would go fart in their own car? Gross!

LOL

JojoRice · October 2021

I have my own office and an air purifier, let er' rip.

mrussel1 said:

2-feign-reluctance said:

JojoRice said:

I'm a teacher and fart all the time when I don't have students in my room. However, when I do have students I try to drop some silent and deadly ones.

How does one truly know if you've got an SBD on board or not? Sometimes the real big fuckers end up being silent, and the sly sneaky cramps end up coming out as if plugged into a Marshall stack.

Because it's likely not your first of the day. You should know the situation at hand.

Ya. Ive gotta feel for it. It's like a 6th sense.

2-feign-reluctance · October 2021

JojoRice said:

mrussel1 said:

2-feign-reluctance said:

JojoRice said:

I'm a teacher and fart all the time when I don't have students in my room. However, when I do have students I try to drop some silent and deadly ones.

How does one truly know if you've got an SBD on board or not? Sometimes the real big fuckers end up being silent, and the sly sneaky cramps end up coming out as if plugged into a Marshall stack.

Because it's likely not your first of the day. You should know the situation at hand.

Ya. Ive gotta feel for it. It's like a 6th sense.

mfc2006 · October 2021

I have my own office and an air purifier, let er' rip.

I just did & it was a doozy. Happy Tuesday.

2-feign-reluctance · October 2021

Yep, yesterday I ate this mediterranean dish I made. Chickpeas, rice, veggies. Pretty much the longest fart I've had in ages. Glad I ran to the bathroom. My air purifier would have struggled.

PJ_Soul · October 2021

I'm on the TB12 system and incapable of flatulence.

TMI, and I know this is hard to believe, but I'm actually telling the truth: I almost never fart. I just hardly ever have any gas in me. It's weird. I've never mentioned it to a doctor since I'm glad about it, so have no idea if there is a medical explanation or what. When I do fart it seems like kind of a big deal.

So I'm not sure if I've ever farted at work... Or maybe a couple of times over the years. Surely.

(and btw, I have no idea when a TB12 system is - it was just the closest to the answer "I don't fart")

HughFreakingDillon · October 2021

PJ_Soul said:

TMI, and I know this is hard to believe, but I'm actually telling the truth: I almost never fart. I just hardly ever have any gas in me. It's weird. I've never mentioned it to a doctor since I'm glad about it, so have no idea if there is a medical explanation or what. When I do fart it seems like kind of a big deal. So I'm not sure if I've ever farted at work... Or maybe a couple of times over the years. Surely.
(and btw, I have no idea when a TB12 system is - it was just the closest to the answer "I don't fart")

I had to look it up too. It's the Tom Brady diet.

a really good friend of ours is like you; I didn't believe her either at first. lol.

Poncier · October 2021

Nobody believes any Canadian doesn't fart....

ed243421 · October 2021

Gern Blansten · October 2021

I only cut em' in the bathroom, which presents a whole other set of challenges.

Poncier said:

Nobody believes any Canadian doesn't fart....

my god that was hilarious....I about had a heart attack when I first saw that

Do you fart at work?

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